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How did you improve your communication skills?

As a freshman I'm not very social which makes it pretty hard to talk to someone new.

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Renee’s Answer

Hi Monique,

It can be super tough to engage in conversation with new people, especially after the bubble we all lived in during covid. Being on your own in a new place with a new group of people can be overwhelming. Thank you for being open and vulnerable when asking your question. You're brave to ask, and not alone in this struggle.

I find it's much easier to be chatty with people who share your interests. Start building your communication practice with people you know from class or with people who share your interests, like in a club. Once you build your confidence in communicating with the people you're familiar with or have common interest with, it'll be important to branch out and speak with people outside of your immediate circle. Maybe you can join a new club with a friend, or tag along to a group event. Every time I've moved to a new city I've asked my friends to introduce me to their friends living in my new city. Even though I didn't know anyone there, someone in my friend group did and would introduce us. The broader the group of people you interact with, the better you'll be at communicating with new people too.

There are lots of really great books about communication that could be helpful. I recommend Nonviolent Communication. It's not exactly what it sounds like.. while it can be a useful technique to deescalate conflict, more importantly it's a "method designed to increase empathy and improve the quality of life of those who utilize the method and the people around them." It teaches you how to communicate and listen from a place of empathy. Having a repertoire of communication tools to draw from can make it easier to talk with new people. You're not alone and having to make it up as you go along.

Hoping this is a helpful starting place. Good luck at school and go out there and be your charming awesome self!

Thank you comment icon Thank you so much for this! Monique
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Jarred’s Answer

A frequent barrier to learning to talk to others is fear of rejection. A great way to overcome that fear is to force yourself to face that rejection. Set a goal to get rejected five times in one day. Strike up a conversation with five random people in one day. You'll find out a few things:

1. Getting rejected can hurt the first couple times, but then you learn it doesn't really hurt that much.
2. You will find that you won't be rejected as much as you think. Most people are kind and are actually afraid to strike up a conversation themselves.
3. The more you communicate with people, the easier it gets.
Thank you comment icon Thanks for your encouragement! Monique
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Jennifer’s Answer

I know not being a social butterfly can be really hard, and it may be because you're more on the introverted side but I would say the only way to break out of that is to put yourself out there. Go to events you're interested in at school, join study groups/facebook groups for your school, sit next to someone in class you want to be friends with. I think breaking out of your shyness is the most important thing to actually gain confidence in your communication with others. Good luck! :)
Thank you comment icon Thank you for this ! Monique
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Shiri’s Answer

Hi Monique,

I know that being social can be hard or frightening. The best way to get past this is to put yourself out there. It is easier to be social once you're in a situation to be. Joining a club/organization for example, is a great way to get out of your room and build friendships that can encourage even more peer engagement.
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