Cyril
Why do I fear College?
Talking to my friends who are already in college, they describe college as being not much harder than high school. So why do I fear from college? I do want to go but when I go why is it that I still fear it. People have put the view of college in my head as being the same. Is it because I don't want my college experience to be the same as my high school life? Is it because I will feel like a nobody in a big crowd of people? Or is it completely the opposite of what I think and I don't want change to happen? #scaredofcollage #change #transitioning #unsure
2 answers
Cynthia Mitchell
Cynthia’s Answer
Good for you! Recognizing that you are uncomfortable about something new is the first step to overcoming.
Being able to articulate "the what" is bothering you helps to lead you to "the why."
College is an amazing experience and is a special time in your life of making new friends and discovering the things that inspire/interest/motivate you.
It's true that you won't be known by everybody you meet, and that is okay.
I remember going to college and feeling like anything I had done and done well there was someone else who had also done it and more.
But what I learned is that we were all in a place of growth. I met people that were like me and very different from me.
You can make it a game and see if you can find 1 thing in common and 1 difference with the people you meet. Asking questions can help take some of the insecurities away as you focus on being curious and learning about others. (That works for all kinds of things in life, by the way.)
I think you are the only person who can really tell you why you are having anxiety (fear) around the unknown.
You can ask yourself what are your fears? Write down a few and then take each one and ask yourself why that makes you fearful.
Take some time to inventory what you are feeling.
You mentioned that one of the potential sources of fear was being a "nobody in a big crowd of people."
Ask yourself, Why is that a problem if I am a "nobody"?
Maybe the answer is because then I won't have friends, or I won't be "popular" or I won't have any fun.
Then ask yourself what you can do to make your own friends or fun?
What would happen if you found other people who like to do the same things?
In my opinion, young adulthood is a time of discovery.
So, if having lots of friends is important to you, join a club.
If being "known" is important, meet people or take some time to figure out what makes you happy.
I think some good self talk is to remind yourself that whether your are known by others has very little to do with being a somebody.
You already are a somebody because you are you.
Your unique talents, perspective of the world, experiences, preferences, etc are all part of what makes you you.
You matter!
Go find what makes you feel productive and accomplished and then see where that takes you.
I wish you much success on your journey!
Souxsie Campbell
Souxsie’s Answer
Hi Cyril, I'm sure many of your peers are working through their own anxieties and fears around change, leaving home, becoming independent of their parents and having a college experience -- I know I did. Don't worry - you're not alone. Fear and anxiety are not always negative emotions an can actually be positive in inspiring learning and growth if you embrace your fears as taking on challenges that you can learn from. Personally, I've always pushed myself into uncomfortable experiences -- whenever I hear the "I can't" voice in my head, I know it's something that I need to pursue. The prize is in the process of discovery, so enjoy the journey along the way. Best of luck.
Souxsie recommends the following next steps: