Will the stress I have now accompany my future?
I feel like my life is under pressure right now and there is no way out of the circumstances I'm in. I'm stressed right now due to studies and work and I'm hoping I'm not so stressed in the future. #stress
3 answers
Arianna’s Answer
Hello Mahpara,
A very good question. You will experience various degrees of stress throughout your life. Will it always feel overwhelming, no. The key is to learn how to manage your stress and how to manage your time. My time in college taught me how to juggle work, school, and other responsibilities. I learned that I needed to manage my time. In my situation, I learned that a full course load and working was taking a toll for me. So I tried lighting the load and that was a tremendous help. I started to plan when I would do my readings and when I would work on my papers for my classes. Once I developed a schedule I was able to go back to taking a full course load. After college I was able to apply this method of time management to my everyday life. I am able to juggle the various responsibilities of work, home, and personal. Along the way I also learned how to manage my stress. I found that is is very important to take time to replenish from the day, whether it be by meditating, exercising , reading, or listening to music.
All the best,
Arianna
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Kim’s Answer
Mahpara,
In time, there are certain things that will become "second nature," and you won't even think about them. Me? I cannot think about hosting a dinner or packing for a trip without a list. I make lists for everything! I have one saved to the computer for packing to go to the hospital (yes, I go to the hospital too much!) However, a friend of mine can pack a suitcase without a list. Wow!! But, she travels a lot. So, there are things you will get really good at, given time.
I have two concerns. One, what career path are you pursuing? Some jobs can be very stressful. It could be production, or sales, because the quotas are too high, or law, because of everything involved in handling a case. This is something to keep in mind as you try to plan your future.
Secondly, you used some words that are potentially alarming. "No way out" is a phrase sometimes used by people who develop severe mental health issues. It is not a good feeling to have. If you are not able to get this under control by yourself using various stress-management techniques, such as exercise or meditation, then please, please, please, seek professional help! Talk to a counselor! Life does get better, but sometimes we need a little help navigating the rough spots!
Okay, I just read your other question. You will not be happy if you live your life trying to make someone else happy. Please, talk to a school counselor. There are also community counseling services available. One that comes to mind is the Jewish Family Services of San Antonio.
https://jfs-sa.org/
You may also have counseling available through your medical insurance.
Here are the San Antonio suicide prevention numbers. Alternatively, simply call 9-1-1 should you need to!
Serving Bexar County
Crisis Line
The Center for Health Care Services
24 hours / 7 days
(210) 223-7233 (SAFE)
1-800-316-9241
Please let us know how you are doing, and ask more questions if we can help you.
Kim
Clémence’s Answer
One good thing to remember is that stress is a natural reaction from the mind and body to react about situations. So yes, there will be stress in the future and that's a good thing because it can be a motor in the decision-making process.
Now there is a line between "good" stress and "bad" stress. It should not become paralyzing. There are a lot of ways to identify stress and cope with the effects, I would recommend to read about CBT. I have managed stressful situations at work and school thanks to it.
Look at your stress rising situations, being aware of:
1 - your perceptions
2 - your default-thinking style (the brains makes some shortcuts to react more quickly, based on previous experiences)
3 - your attitudes/reactions
Then you can try to use the ABC model
Activating event (situation triggering stress)
Beliefs (your own interpretation of the situation)
Consequences (stress it causes to you VS actual impact in your life)
Usually, it's not the situation that creates stress, it's the interpretation we make of it. Understand your A and see what adjustments you can make to your B.
To give a concrete example, one day at work I called a 30min meeting with my manager, which was the CTO, and the lead architect for an important topic. I went to talk to a colleague and forgot to check my watch, I was 45 min late! I ran and found the senior architect telling me that they have been waiting for me for 20 min and what happened, etc. I was mortified and I stressed about it for the rest of the day.
Here the activating event is missing a meeting. My belief was that I was going to be in a massive trouble, that it would follow my career, that my manager would have a bad opinion about me from now on (it's difficult not to dramatize!).
Consequences on myself, because of the stress: lost an afternoon of my life overthinking consequences + disagreements of stress
ACTUAL consequences: none. Because it happens to forget about a meeting, because I'm not the first nor the last one to make mistakes and my performances are not relying on one meeting.
I should have started there at the time. Now, when something happens, and it can be a mistake at work or one bad grade, I think first "will I remember this in 5 years?". If probably not, then it's ok.
That is to tackle specific stressful event, of course it's important to have also a good balance of work-studies-social life. If it's too much, seek help!