Balancing family and school
I am a Biology major and I attend school about an hour and forty five minutes away from home.. my family expects me to call them everyday but honestly, I forget to sometimes because i'm always doing work or I fall asleep and forget to call. A professor I know recommended I put my family on a schedule to help with our communication but I'm not sure what else to do. what do you recommend?
#school
#student
#human
#biologymajor
3 answers
Karen Ruggles
Karen’s Answer
First off I loved that you hashtagged human--haha.
Students who call home everyday are usually not adjusting well to college life and are very unhappy where they are.
It sounds like your family is missing your presence at home and it may be a difficult adjustment for them without you there. They seem like they are trying to fill that void by speaking with you everyday (which is what they're used to, presumably). Be sensitive and understanding to their adjustment but be vocal about your adjustment with college demands as well so they don't ask for something unreasonable (like calling home everyday).
You can do this by sharing with them how demanding your schedule is while also explaining that you are enjoying your courses (or at least know that the courses will lead to better understanding of something for which you are passionate). If your family only hears how busy, tired, and miserable you are they may also want to speak with you everyday as a way of checking in and supporting you.
Make sure you tell them that you appreciate their support and love and that you love them too. There are a lot of students who do not have that love and support and have to navigate college on their own. You can also try to connect things that they have done to prepare you for adult life to your current success such as saying something like "I'm so glad you made me do my homework every night, it's helping me get into a schedule for homework at college that is preparing me to do well in my classes" this will help your family feel like they have raised and prepared you well for the challenge you currently have and reduce some worry that they might have.
Ultimately families want their kids to be healthy, happy, and successful, but it can be hard to adjust. Families can be the source for all three of those aspects for 18 years and then the young person is away at college and they no longer have as prominent a role. That leads to worry and sometimes a lot of free time. Ask your family about plans that they have and encourage them to be involved in social activities.
Karen recommends the following next steps: