I am a shy person, however, people don't believe me. How do I get people to actually understand my frustrations and challenges of being a shy individual?

Hi Randi,

I find myself in a very similar situation as I also identify myself as being shy but my co-workers and peers don't believe me either. I see this personality type commonly referred to as an "ambivert" where somebody can become more extroverted in certain situations but still needs alone time to recharge.

Especially in the workplace, I've learned that there are challenges to being an introvert and extrovert. It's important that you don't feel the need to classify yourself as the "shy individual" but represent that as your work style. I find myself answering my peers in on-the-spot questions with answers like "I'd like to think about that before I give you answer." I've found that my peers and management respect that answer and think that behavior as "analytical". I've also found that as uncomfortable as it makes me, it's still important to push yourself out of your comfort zone (it's exhausting, I know) but you'll find that people will recognize your efforts and respect you more for them.

Best of luck as a fellow shy person! :D

For the longest time I had trouble talking to adults. It was intimidating and scary for me. Even when I was an adult I did not feel like one. Practice by doing it more is key to getting over this hurdle. Here are some things I learned about adults that I hope is helpful.

1) Despite what you think adults don't have all the answers. Adults have not figured it all out.

2) You don't have to be loud, pushy, or very talkactive to advocate for yourself. It never hurts to ask in any situation even if it scares you. The worst someone can say is, "No" (which happens less than you think), and you will feel so much better for having asked (and you might get what you want).

3) If you have a problem or want to make a suggestion say it in your normal voice. If this makes you uncomfortable speaking up in meetings or to adults this is normal. Most people are probably feeling the same. It may make you more comfortable to qualify your statement. For example, you don't agree with something someone said in a meeting. Restate what they said, and say something such as, "I understand what you are saying, but was wondering if you had thought of..."

4) Do your research and be prepared. If you are prepared and feel like you are an expert on the subject you are discussing it will make you more comfortable when you need to talk about it.

5) Similar to #4, if you provide details on what the problem is and potential solutions people will be more receptive to your communication.