How do you find the motivation to keep moving forward when life hits you with so many unexpected turns?

Cristian, I hope you can find help in my answer, despite it being more broadly-based than school issues. I think one of the hardest things to do when things aren't going well is to gain some sort of perspective. There is almost nothing worse than feeling like you can't control what's happening, and without perspective, it can truly seem hopeless.

Here are two things I've used to help me gain perspective. First, use a mind-mapping technique to continue to ask and answer the question, "what's the worst that could happen". For instance, if you were being bullied and not keeping grades up because of the stress, start by assuming the bullying (and the bad grades) will continue. Then ask the question I gave you above. Now you have an answer. (school will suck, I won't have grades to get into the college I wanted). Again, ask the question. The answer might be I'd have to take summer school or repeat senior year to get into my college. Ask the question again. Continue until you can clearly see that the worst is not as bad as what you might be imagining...and more importantly, you have now taken back control of the bad situation. The second trick I used recently was when I broke my ankle in two places and couldn't walk or drive for 6 weeks. I couldn't figure out how I'd live my life. Literally. No work, no grocery shopping, no taking trash out, etc. I was really despondent when I got the news, and then I decided that all I could do was concentrate on getting through that first day. In pain and really scared, I determined to just make it through that day and then, when I woke up the next morning, I'd figure out how to make it through that day. I did that for 6 weeks, and now use that technique to keep myself focused on one day at a time.

From my experience, breaking life down into manageable pieces not only helps restore a sense of control, but also makes the tasks small enough so they aren't overwhelming.

I hope this helps! Best of luck.

"adversity does not

build character....it reveals it"

Cristian,

Not knowing your particular situation, it is difficult to address. However, there are two things that I do, generally speaking. First, let's say I did something to totally humiliate myself . I accept the fact that the past is the past, and cannot be un-done. Time to move on. No need to stress over it. The second thing I do, and, this sort of sounds bad, but it works. I compare myself to people who are worse off than me, not to those who are better off than me. I have a lot of medical issues. I have to accept that there are things I cannot do. But, instead of looking at people playing frisbee in the park, and feeling sorry for myself, I look at those in wheelchairs, or with other serious disabilities, and realize my life really isn't that bad after all.

I was never in the military, but, I was a cop. And we had a saying. If there is an obstacle, you can go through it, around it, or over it. But failure was not an option. The challenges life is throwing at you now may seem difficult. But, they will help you learn to be able to analyze your problems and find solutions. You will learn coping skills that will continue to be useful throughout life. Sometimes it is necessary to talk to someone. Don't think that is a sign of weakness - it is a sign of strength. Take advantage of the counseling services available in your school.

Another thing is coping mechanisms. Drugs and alcohol don't help. Physical exercise is really good. I found boxing particularly therapeutic! Work out the anger and frustration. As to motivation, I know this sounds pretty basic, but I find that showering in the morning, rather than at night, helps to get my day started in the right direction.

I hope some of this has helped you. Feel free to come back with more questions!

Kim

Life is amazing. It's always going to have twists and turns. The amazing thing is you get to live it. So live it. An unexpected turn is just a challenge that you need to get up for. Know what you love in life and motivates you. Don't let the turns control your life. When you have a new challenge in front of you face it and get ready for the next one tomorrow. Enjoy.

Understand that you obstacles are apart of molding shaping process of life. These obstacles are what will make you great. Without you will have no progress. Commit to never quitting and embrace the opportunity in every obstacle.