ahilandeswari
I score high marks in all subjects .. but i need to improve my self confidence. What do you recommend?
I don't have a ton of self confidence so I'd love to hear how you achieved that.
4 answers
Archana Jain
Archana’s Answer
Hi,
Self awareness is the key to self confidence. Know your strengths, so that you can bank on them when you meet people or face a public gathering. Beyond this, of course there are few more things that you can work on for taking control of your self-confidence
Groom yourself. ...
Dress nicely. ...
Photoshop your self-image. ...
Think positive. ...
Kill negative thoughts. ...
Get to know yourself. ...
Act positive
Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.
Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.
Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.
Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.
Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. (“C’mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!”)
Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.
You may find more detailed articles here - https://zenhabits.net/25-killer-actions-to-boost-your-self-confidence/
I wish you the best, be proud of yourself as you are good at acadamics which does not come natrurally to everyone.
Regards,
Archana Jain
Madhu Sultanipurmath -PHR
Madhu’s Answer
Self Esteem is something which you will have to build within and strive to keep it up going at all given points of life.Good news is you know>that,its your improvement area! Its great because you are open to make necessary changes.Remember No body can make you feel inferior without your consent.So believe in yourself and love yourself for whatever you are>I am happy to know that you are great at academics.>You are already a star Make the best of all the positive energy you have like family support,good friends,relatives.listen to all the stories they have to share with you on how best they make use of the self made traits,imbibe the strength to create your own passionate personality.>What lies within is all that matters this includes your intellectual capabilities,your positivity,ability to share a smile>You can also try these>Groom yourself in terms of look good to feel good>Talk talk talk.share your stories and listen to others stories>Try not to think negative about self>Make best of hidden talents you have like crafts,dance or music>Good Luck to you!
Shelesh Chopra
Shelesh’s Answer
- Start with Positive self talk - I can do it and then find How you can do that !!!
- Practice things which matters to you but concerns you, Get Good at them !!!
- Have a mentor in family/friends/Colleagues/outside with whom you can stay positive and explore options
- Get Comfortable with things you want to do but are Uncomfortable. Sign up for those, DO IT, Learn, DO IT AGAIN !!!
- Use your positive experience (Great Marks in academics) and use them as BOOSTER for other areas.
- I would suggest to pen down your thoughts/concern areas. Strike them off as you overcome it. This gives both the plan as well as sense of achievement
- Follow some of your inspirations especially if they can give you an extra ounce of confidence. How did they overcome all odds
Self Confidence Start with Self. You believe in stories what you tell to yourself, so why not tell the positive ones !!!!
Wish you the best and I am sure you would do super awesome !!!
Ram Kurpad
Ram’s Answer
That you score highly on tests is indicative of your ability to acquire and I think retain knowledge.
Always remember that in knowledge resides power. So never stop the learning process.
Much of what I say below comes off personal experiences.
As for self confidence - that is entirely up to you, so it would be well within your ability. A good portion of the way others will see you is in the way you present yourself, communicate with others.
1. When you speak, speak slowly to make your point[s] be understood with clarity. Once cannot assume that one will be understood at the pace of the speaker. The level of understanding is determined by the listener, and not the speaker.
2. Nobody is perfect. If you make a mistake, admit it freely, and strive to make corrections - it is extremely rare that one intentionally makes mistakes. People will appreciate honesty more than anything else.
3. Modesty is good, up to a point. But when you accomplish something that is notable, make it known, but be truthful.
4. When speaking extempore or from a prepared memorandum, pause for a reaction - maybe a couple of seconds before and after a sentence. It is Time well spent, because you may get feedback which will be beneficial to you.
There are too many little things which will matter, and the best way to learn is by experiencing them.
All the best in your endeavours.
An afterthought:
5. No one appreciates when one speaks out of turn. You will gain a lot of respect when you respect others, by not interrupting others when they are speaking.
If someone interrupts you, more often than not, becoming completely silent is a lot more effective than reacting.
Silence can be very effective. Use it to your advantage.