9 answers
Ana
Student
Puebla, Mexico
2
Questions
Asked
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What are the best ways to react to sexist behavior towards you in and out of the workplace?
All women around the world get these passive-agressive or directly agressive treatments and behavior from other people, and very few times we end up feeling we reacted assertively. Due to this, it is very important to talk amongst us and share what have we said and done, and how did it work and made us feel. #career #college #women #workingwomen #sexism
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9 answers
Alicia Miller
Business Development and Partnerships
5
Answers
Jersey City, New Jersey
Updated
Alicia’s Answer
Dealing with this appropriately depends on culture and context. It's not acceptable behavior, but it happens. I've experienced in the US and abroad, and these scenarios differ greatly in what happened and how I could deal with it.
In the US, I've found a lot of support from other women when I was experiencing negative behavior directed towards me because I'm a woman. But abroad, that's not always the case - this is important to know because having a support system is helpful, but you need to know where to look.
Sometimes you can address it head on with the person, explain to them how their behavior impacted you and why it's not acceptable. Sometimes, people just don't see how their behavior is coming across and once they understand, will change it.
Many times, you need to report the behavior so that action can be taken. However, this doesn't always result in action that's best for the person experiencing discrimination and can actually be harmful. In this situation, staying as far away from that person as possible is best, and so is getting others to support you.
If you feel safe doing so, I think that talking to the person about it is a good step as education is the way we're going to make changes to this culture.
In the US, I've found a lot of support from other women when I was experiencing negative behavior directed towards me because I'm a woman. But abroad, that's not always the case - this is important to know because having a support system is helpful, but you need to know where to look.
Sometimes you can address it head on with the person, explain to them how their behavior impacted you and why it's not acceptable. Sometimes, people just don't see how their behavior is coming across and once they understand, will change it.
Many times, you need to report the behavior so that action can be taken. However, this doesn't always result in action that's best for the person experiencing discrimination and can actually be harmful. In this situation, staying as far away from that person as possible is best, and so is getting others to support you.
If you feel safe doing so, I think that talking to the person about it is a good step as education is the way we're going to make changes to this culture.
Zainee Gafoor
Operations Manager
12
Answers
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Updated
Zainee’s Answer
One of the first things you can do prior to joining any organization is to take a look at what initiatives or programs they have in place to ensure an equal playing field for their employees.
For example, what type of conversations, tools and training do they have in place around diversity and inclusion? How have they addressed these issues in the past? Have they done any type of assessments around representation within the organization in the past? If yes, what were the results and what actions have they taken since.
For larger organizations, you may be able to find this information online. For smaller businesses, this may be more difficult until you have the opportunity during an interview to ask questions.
If there are employers that shy away from these questions, this will be a good indicator on the corporate culture and whether this is important to the organization.
When you choose to work with an organization, it's important to find one that aligns with your core values and beliefs.
This way, you know that any unacceptable behavior will be addressed without fear of retaliation.
For example, what type of conversations, tools and training do they have in place around diversity and inclusion? How have they addressed these issues in the past? Have they done any type of assessments around representation within the organization in the past? If yes, what were the results and what actions have they taken since.
For larger organizations, you may be able to find this information online. For smaller businesses, this may be more difficult until you have the opportunity during an interview to ask questions.
If there are employers that shy away from these questions, this will be a good indicator on the corporate culture and whether this is important to the organization.
When you choose to work with an organization, it's important to find one that aligns with your core values and beliefs.
This way, you know that any unacceptable behavior will be addressed without fear of retaliation.
Constance Wagster
Sales & Service Leader
10
Answers
Orlando, Florida
Updated
Constance’s Answer
Hi Ana, great question!
We have come a long way since the “Me Too” movement. There has been much awareness about sexism and how this behavior makes individuals feel. We have recently come into an age of activism and self-awareness in this area.
In the workplace, it is very important that you know your company’s policy on sexist behavior. It should be clearly spelled out and made available to every employee.
Outside of the workplace, it’s up to you how you react to sexist behavior.
Let’s talk about the workplace first… If you feel you have been the recipient of sexist behavior, you should communicate that directly to the perpetrator. Let them know in a professional manner how their action or statement made you feel. Most often this will end the issue. Sometimes people do not realize how they come across and when given the opportunity to discuss how they made someone feel, are usually willing to eliminate that behavior.
I have a personal issue with what I consider foul language. Words of profanity. Many of my colleagues and friends use profane words in social settings. My first course of action is that I don’t ever use this language and over time my colleagues and friends have noticed. Most of the time when I am present they respect my use of word choices. I didn’t have to make anyone uncomfortable or even try to change their way of communicating. So I recommend use communication that sets the example for others.
If you continue to feel someone is exhibiting sexist behavior towards you and you have attempted to communicate your concern, then go to a supervisor. Most companies have very strong policies against reciprocation. This actually happened to me in the workforce. A fellow employee continually insisted to get my phone number. This employee was married and I was single and did not feel comfortable with him having my phone number. I communicated to him on several occasions about why I did not feel comfortable giving him my phone number. He continued to push me for my number. I notified my supervisor. Our HR department became involved and the harassment stopped. Both the fellow employee and I still work at this company and we continue to have professional interactions at times, but the harassment has stopped.
Outside of the workplace, I would recommend you set the example of your expectations. If you feel you are involved in sexism, then I would recommend you remove yourself from the situation. Your true friends will remain friends, and those that become distant with you are probably those that you would not want to interact with anyway.
Best of luck to you Ana!
We have come a long way since the “Me Too” movement. There has been much awareness about sexism and how this behavior makes individuals feel. We have recently come into an age of activism and self-awareness in this area.
In the workplace, it is very important that you know your company’s policy on sexist behavior. It should be clearly spelled out and made available to every employee.
Outside of the workplace, it’s up to you how you react to sexist behavior.
Let’s talk about the workplace first… If you feel you have been the recipient of sexist behavior, you should communicate that directly to the perpetrator. Let them know in a professional manner how their action or statement made you feel. Most often this will end the issue. Sometimes people do not realize how they come across and when given the opportunity to discuss how they made someone feel, are usually willing to eliminate that behavior.
I have a personal issue with what I consider foul language. Words of profanity. Many of my colleagues and friends use profane words in social settings. My first course of action is that I don’t ever use this language and over time my colleagues and friends have noticed. Most of the time when I am present they respect my use of word choices. I didn’t have to make anyone uncomfortable or even try to change their way of communicating. So I recommend use communication that sets the example for others.
If you continue to feel someone is exhibiting sexist behavior towards you and you have attempted to communicate your concern, then go to a supervisor. Most companies have very strong policies against reciprocation. This actually happened to me in the workforce. A fellow employee continually insisted to get my phone number. This employee was married and I was single and did not feel comfortable with him having my phone number. I communicated to him on several occasions about why I did not feel comfortable giving him my phone number. He continued to push me for my number. I notified my supervisor. Our HR department became involved and the harassment stopped. Both the fellow employee and I still work at this company and we continue to have professional interactions at times, but the harassment has stopped.
Outside of the workplace, I would recommend you set the example of your expectations. If you feel you are involved in sexism, then I would recommend you remove yourself from the situation. Your true friends will remain friends, and those that become distant with you are probably those that you would not want to interact with anyway.
Best of luck to you Ana!
Nieves Alva Suárez
4
Answers
Updated
Nieves’s Answer
Hello Ana,
Your question is indeed insightful, and the responses you've received so far are interesting. Allow me to give you my POV.
Firstly, I'd like to emphasize that there's no need to harbor guilt if you've previously found yourself unable to confront instances of sexism or misogyny assertively. Remember, it's a journey, and we, as women, have been conditioned to keep quiet for ages.
Secondly, it's beneficial to have a set of ready responses at your disposal. Here are a few of my preferred ones:
1. Offer them an opportunity to revise their statement. You can say, "Could you rephrase that, please? I want to ensure I'm fully grasping your point."
2. Encourage them to clarify their statement: "Could you expand on that? What exactly do you mean?"
3. Simply gaze at them and ask, "Are you alright?"
Often, when given the chance to rectify their words, people do. However, if they don't, and you feel safe, you have the right to interrupt them: "Your comment is inappropriate. Let's move on." Or, "Such comments are unacceptable. If they persist, I will bring this to the attention of HR/management/council, etc."
Alternatively, you can simply state, "I'd rather not participate in this conversation," and exit the situation.
Contemplating potential responses can help you be more equipped to handle such situations when they arise.
Your question is indeed insightful, and the responses you've received so far are interesting. Allow me to give you my POV.
Firstly, I'd like to emphasize that there's no need to harbor guilt if you've previously found yourself unable to confront instances of sexism or misogyny assertively. Remember, it's a journey, and we, as women, have been conditioned to keep quiet for ages.
Secondly, it's beneficial to have a set of ready responses at your disposal. Here are a few of my preferred ones:
1. Offer them an opportunity to revise their statement. You can say, "Could you rephrase that, please? I want to ensure I'm fully grasping your point."
2. Encourage them to clarify their statement: "Could you expand on that? What exactly do you mean?"
3. Simply gaze at them and ask, "Are you alright?"
Often, when given the chance to rectify their words, people do. However, if they don't, and you feel safe, you have the right to interrupt them: "Your comment is inappropriate. Let's move on." Or, "Such comments are unacceptable. If they persist, I will bring this to the attention of HR/management/council, etc."
Alternatively, you can simply state, "I'd rather not participate in this conversation," and exit the situation.
Contemplating potential responses can help you be more equipped to handle such situations when they arise.
Aime Velasco-Bernard PMP
PM Sr Advisor at Dell
10
Answers
Updated
Aime’s Answer
This is such an important question. We've come a long way from the days where women were not supposed to work outside of the house however, even though sexism might not be as blunt as before in the workplace, we still need to deal with inequality, bias etc. I think the key is to keep the conversation going, keep working in the most professional manner and keep showing up, standing up for yourself. There are lots of women behind you and any progress forward counts.
Gina Ringer
National Account Manager
114
Answers
Wheaton, Illinois
Updated
Gina’s Answer
I feel the best way to handle is to try and ignore it-- obviously people are deliberately trying to get under your skin. Most likely for reasons out of your control. Complete narcissism. Take it as a compliment that you are successful and doing a good job-- most likely they are jealous or feel inferior. If it gets out of control to the point where it's affecting your performance or mental well-being, I would go straight to human resources. Our company has a zero tolerance policy-- one quick way to end it. :)
Maneet Ghai
Operations-Reporting and Analytics
3
Answers
India
Updated
Maneet’s Answer
Stay away from such persons, don't interact with them
Inform your parents and teachers about the same so that they can keep him away from you.
stay vigilant so that he cannot harm you. Always.
This is the only thing that you can do-to protect yourself from them harming you mentally or physically.
Inform your parents and teachers about the same so that they can keep him away from you.
stay vigilant so that he cannot harm you. Always.
This is the only thing that you can do-to protect yourself from them harming you mentally or physically.
Sarah Zimmerman
Management
9
Answers
Dallas, Texas
Updated
Sarah’s Answer
Report to HR, engage managers at first offense. The sooner you report it the easier it is to have the conversation with offender to correct. It may be a simple re-education that they weren't aware that what they said was wrong.
Jenna Houser
Sales manager
7
Answers
Chicago, Illinois
Updated
Jenna’s Answer
Hi, This is a good conversation to have! First I believe you need to stand up for yourself because if you don’t it will continue. I would first address the issue with the person in a kind way. I say kind because if you are mean and showing that you are upset it can make the situation worse. Tell them you will report it and do so. If you don’t do that it will continue. This is something that can not be put on the back burner. When reporting it doesn’t mean its a negative. Usually a manager or HR will ensure it doesn’t happen again. Just remember, you will probably be scared to tell someone, but its for the best.