38 answers
Marie
Student
Geneva, Ohio
35
Questions
Asked
3068 views
would it be a good idea to work with your best friend?
I dont think it is but I would like different type of perspective
#bestfriends
#business
38 answers
Chrissy Caldwell
Communications Specialist
2
Answers
Fairfax, Virginia
Updated
Chrissy’s Answer
Working with close friends can be a very fun and rewarding experience. However, I would encourage you to ask yourself a few questions as you consider this.
- Am I pursuing this job because it will be a positive opportunity for me and my career?
- Will I be comfortable reporting to my friend (or having them report to me)?
- How will I deal with any work conflicts that include my friend?
- Will it be distracting to my job performance to work directly with my friend?
Having fun at work is great, but not doing work because you're having fun is not going to bode well. If you are confident that the job is right for you (even if your friend was not working there) and that it will be a positive working relationship, then go for it. Just make sure to have clear expectations for friend-time versus work-time.
- Am I pursuing this job because it will be a positive opportunity for me and my career?
- Will I be comfortable reporting to my friend (or having them report to me)?
- How will I deal with any work conflicts that include my friend?
- Will it be distracting to my job performance to work directly with my friend?
Having fun at work is great, but not doing work because you're having fun is not going to bode well. If you are confident that the job is right for you (even if your friend was not working there) and that it will be a positive working relationship, then go for it. Just make sure to have clear expectations for friend-time versus work-time.
Jennifer Hunter
Vendor Mangement
4
Answers
Corinth, TX
Updated
Jennifer’s Answer
Working with a close friend can be rewarding and enjoyable, but can also pose some challenges. Obviously having someone that you already know can alleviate some "new job jitters". You may be able to get some some additional information about the company and individuals/teams you may be working with. But just be aware that the feedback or information that you receive from your friend could be tainted by their experiences, whether positive or negative. Once you formulate your own opinions, you may find they differ from your friend.
Something else to consider would be if you or your friend ever are in a supervisory role over the other. Would it be hard for you to assign work to your friend without any favoritism? Would you be able to fairly evaluate their work? If they are managing you, would you be able to accept constructive criticism?
Ultimately, I think working with a friend can be a positive experience, just be sure to evaluate the situation and possible scenarios before you jump in. Good luck!
Something else to consider would be if you or your friend ever are in a supervisory role over the other. Would it be hard for you to assign work to your friend without any favoritism? Would you be able to fairly evaluate their work? If they are managing you, would you be able to accept constructive criticism?
Ultimately, I think working with a friend can be a positive experience, just be sure to evaluate the situation and possible scenarios before you jump in. Good luck!
Doc Frick
Career Coach and Mentor
1590
Answers
California, CA
Updated
Doc’s Answer
Marie If you work with friends as a coworker, remember to keep things professional at all times. Work comes first. It's nice to have a support system with your friend, but avoid playing favorites or spending too much time doing things unrelated to your job.
PROS AND CONS OF WORKING WITH FRIENDS*
FRIENDS IN THE WORKPLACE
PRO – Work becomes a more enjoyable place to go when your friend is a coworker because you feel appreciated and cared about. Coworkers have your back more than usual when they know you on a personal level; there is less of a chance for misunderstandings because the people you work with get where you are coming from. A friendlier work environment also promotes more creativity. You feel more comfortable being yourself, and this allows you to think outside the box. Having a friend at work gives you a safe way to vent your frustrations, so you can rebound more quickly when setbacks at work occur.
CON – Work can become an unprofessional environment when your friend is a coworker—too much chit chat and not enough focus on the job can get you and your friend in trouble. Ironically, having a friend in the office stand up for you can also garner resentment from others. Coworkers may feel you are getting preferential treatment you don't deserve. Getting too close to someone at work can also mean they know just a little bit too much about you. Do you really want your coworkers to know your demons or struggles? If you think someone is your friend and it turns out not to be true, you could then become the victim of sabotage or a backstabbing from someone you trusted.
Marie even when you're friends with a coworker, you should hold back on divulging too much information. A toxic friend may just gossip about you more at work and cause big problems that aren't easily fixed. Be sure to keep anything related to money, including salary and financial history, to yourself.
* IF THIS FRIEND IS A BOYFRIEND
As the general rule goes, never get involved with anyone at the workplace or work in the same office as your boyfriend. You cannot be partial to your boyfriend under any circumstances, and you should never ask for any kind of favoritism from him either. Once you step into the office, you both are just employees of one company. Your goal is to work with dedication and towards the betterment of the organization as a whole. This should be the case if he is your boss or vice-versa. Don’t get angry if he provides you with constructive criticism, well... your young and their will be other jobs and a lot more boyfriends.
Was this Helpful Marie?
PROS AND CONS OF WORKING WITH FRIENDS*
FRIENDS IN THE WORKPLACE
PRO – Work becomes a more enjoyable place to go when your friend is a coworker because you feel appreciated and cared about. Coworkers have your back more than usual when they know you on a personal level; there is less of a chance for misunderstandings because the people you work with get where you are coming from. A friendlier work environment also promotes more creativity. You feel more comfortable being yourself, and this allows you to think outside the box. Having a friend at work gives you a safe way to vent your frustrations, so you can rebound more quickly when setbacks at work occur.
CON – Work can become an unprofessional environment when your friend is a coworker—too much chit chat and not enough focus on the job can get you and your friend in trouble. Ironically, having a friend in the office stand up for you can also garner resentment from others. Coworkers may feel you are getting preferential treatment you don't deserve. Getting too close to someone at work can also mean they know just a little bit too much about you. Do you really want your coworkers to know your demons or struggles? If you think someone is your friend and it turns out not to be true, you could then become the victim of sabotage or a backstabbing from someone you trusted.
Marie even when you're friends with a coworker, you should hold back on divulging too much information. A toxic friend may just gossip about you more at work and cause big problems that aren't easily fixed. Be sure to keep anything related to money, including salary and financial history, to yourself.
* IF THIS FRIEND IS A BOYFRIEND
As the general rule goes, never get involved with anyone at the workplace or work in the same office as your boyfriend. You cannot be partial to your boyfriend under any circumstances, and you should never ask for any kind of favoritism from him either. Once you step into the office, you both are just employees of one company. Your goal is to work with dedication and towards the betterment of the organization as a whole. This should be the case if he is your boss or vice-versa. Don’t get angry if he provides you with constructive criticism, well... your young and their will be other jobs and a lot more boyfriends.
Was this Helpful Marie?
Yes it was helpful thank you
Marie
Stars lie deep inside you Marie. Reach high for Stars lie hidden in Your Soul. Dream Deep, for every Dream proceeds the Goal.
Doc Frick
Thank You Tami. “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands — one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” — Audrey Hepburn
Doc Frick
ty Mr.John
Marie
Your Welcome Marie, It was My Pleasure. If you want to touch the past, touch a rock. If you want to touch the present, touch a flower. If you want to touch the future, touch a life.
Doc Frick
Michael Prince
Valuation Services
1
Answer
Seattle, Washington
Updated
Michael’s Answer
Think about what you could truly learn from the experience of working for this person. And then think about how the two of you resolve conflicts between each other. If you have positive answers to those two questions than it might very well be worthwhile to proceed.
Brenda Thayer
Chief of Staff/Mgr
4
Answers
Alexandria, Virginia
Updated
Brenda’s Answer
I have never worked with my longtime best friend but I have built some very strong, lasting friendships with my coworkers. For this, or for working with your best friend, I find the key is to maintain transparency and not taking work feedback personally. The more you can work together to help each other grow and be successful the better for all!
Vinesh Vonteru
Software Engineering
3
Answers
Ashburn, Virginia
Updated
Vinesh’s Answer
Yes. You could have great time working with your friend. As we work with our colleagues, we make friends. I have friends from my past teams who i meed regularly. Have clarity in roles and responsibilities. After a while, your friend will be one of more friends you make in your team.
Erin Ter-Nedden
Fair Lending Compliance
4
Answers
Placentia, California
Updated
Erin’s Answer
This is a great question, Marie. While there are many examples of successful business partnerships between friends, there is also a reason for the saying "never mix business with pleasure." In business it is important to view things with a critical eye, which can be difficult to do when a friend is involved. It is tough to make necessary decisions when your personal feelings come into play. You may also be criticized for cronyism if you make a decision that favors your friend over others, even if your decision is objectively sound. As many have said in this thread, there are certainly benefits to working with a friend but just be aware of the risks.
Yasmeen Duran
Transaction Manager at Fannie Mae
11
Answers
Washington
Updated
Yasmeen’s Answer
If both of you are able to separate professional and personal then it should be fine. But be aware that scenarios could happen which challenge the friendship, such as one of you gets a promotion and the other doesn't. How do you think you would handle that?
I wouldnt mind I want whats best for him
Marie
Cyndi Tarlton
Title & Closing
2
Answers
Lewisville, Texas
Updated
Cyndi’s Answer
Hi! I think it would just depend on the situation. Many factors could go into working with your best friend, both good and bad. Age, job type, etc. I have personally worked at the same company as one of my best friends for nearly 15 years. We work on different teams but our teams work together in our business line. So while we work "together" we're not working hand-in-hand together. Hope this gives some insight from a different perspective!!
Lavanya Changal
Application Support Analyst
3
Answers
Herndon, Virginia
Updated
Lavanya’s Answer
Hi ! As long as you know that the friend you want to partner up with won't distract you too much, I think it's fine to work with them. You may even work well with them if you can easily communicate with each other.
Adam Gittle
Governance Analyst
11
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
Adam’s Answer
I ended up meeting my best friend at work a few years ago and from my perspective it has been great having someone who I felt like I could turn to in any situation without being judged or put down. As long as this friend does not interfere with the job at hand I thin its a great opportunity to have someone who can help and have your back as an added member of your team.
thxs Adam I apresheate it
Marie
Stephen Mroz
Quality Control
20
Answers
Apopka, Florida
Updated
Stephen’s Answer
It isn't necessarily a bad or good idea.
It can be great . . . provided you set guidelines.
In business you have to remember it is just that . . . business. All must pull equal weight. If there appears to be favoritism, or an uneven advantage, then someone will suffer whether it is from hurt feelings, or disappointment.
If you don't have those ground rules in place, it gets sticky. I'd suggest a deep, honest discussion with WRITTEN guidelines, so there is no dispute. And if you have an issue, opt for arbitration, or an arbitrary third party to help situations.
It can be great . . . provided you set guidelines.
In business you have to remember it is just that . . . business. All must pull equal weight. If there appears to be favoritism, or an uneven advantage, then someone will suffer whether it is from hurt feelings, or disappointment.
If you don't have those ground rules in place, it gets sticky. I'd suggest a deep, honest discussion with WRITTEN guidelines, so there is no dispute. And if you have an issue, opt for arbitration, or an arbitrary third party to help situations.
Denise Meyer
Transformation Coach
3
Answers
Dallas, Texas
Updated
Denise’s Answer
I believe that it would be ok to work with your best friend. Difficulty may arise if you have a disagreement or if you are on the same team and competing for ranking within the team.
Sethu Madhavan
Senior Business Architect
4
Answers
Ashburn, Virginia
Updated
Sethu’s Answer
Working with your best friend could be rewarding and/or stressful (at times) depending on the circumstances. It totally depends on how the two individuals approach and handle it. There are some people that have succeeded in both personal and professional spaces by virtue of having a trusted colleague at work that has their back at all times. Then there are others that ended up picking one over the other (friendship vs career). Here are a few things that you can do to make it work:
* Keep things professional and establish boundaries while at work
* Do not to mix personal and professional conversations / activities
* Acknowledge that each person's career journey is different (milestones, timeframe, growth etc.,)
* Foster healthy competition and collaboration
* Keep things professional and establish boundaries while at work
* Do not to mix personal and professional conversations / activities
* Acknowledge that each person's career journey is different (milestones, timeframe, growth etc.,)
* Foster healthy competition and collaboration
Yusef Ward
Operations Analyst II
6
Answers
Allen, Texas
Updated
Yusef’s Answer
There are pluses and minuses to all relationships. Working with a best friend could have many advantages because of what you already know about this person. You will already know the skillset of this individual because of your relationship. Usually we prefer to work with others who we have a good relationship with. It also depends if this person will be a business partner or co-worker. The two of you have already built a relationship based on shared experiences, trust, and mutual passions. That's much harder to do in the workplace than you'd think.
Charles M
Underwriter
7
Answers
Washington, Washington
Updated
Charles’s Answer
It can be quite challenging and distracting to work with a good friend. While the right answer really depends on the specifics of your situation, the downside is important to understand before committing to such a situation. Lots of things can occur in a workplace that could result in you losing that friendship, seeing it change substantially, or missing out on opportunities to develop your own career because of a distraction.
ErikaLynn Manno, NCIDQ, LEED, COEE
Space Planner
9
Answers
Arlington, Virginia
Updated
ErikaLynn’s Answer
This is difficult to answer but I think you should think about how you can separate working life from personal life.
I think working in the same office at different jobs would be easier to manage as you are not competing with each other for management's attention.
Working in the same office at similar jobs with similar tasks is more difficult because you will be, unconsciously, trying to "one up" each other with your results.
I do not think it is feasible that issues happening in your personal life (with said friend) will be left at the door and not brought into the office. It is my advice that you should not choose to work with a friend performing the same job. Same office different jobs I think should be fine.
I think working in the same office at different jobs would be easier to manage as you are not competing with each other for management's attention.
Working in the same office at similar jobs with similar tasks is more difficult because you will be, unconsciously, trying to "one up" each other with your results.
I do not think it is feasible that issues happening in your personal life (with said friend) will be left at the door and not brought into the office. It is my advice that you should not choose to work with a friend performing the same job. Same office different jobs I think should be fine.
Karla Borbon
Credit Risk Manager
10
Answers
Long Beach, California
Updated
Karla’s Answer
Hi Marie-
It depends on the strength of the friendship, if you can leave your personal life at the door (not comingling personal and work life), the positions you will both have within the organization, and if you share similar work ethics. It could be the best experience for you both or the worse. I think you should both talk/ brainstorm and discuss things like 1) what you think life would be like working together, 2) what are your expectation in working together, 3) if it doesn’t work out how would handle it (would one of you resign?), and 4) maybe have each of you come up with some work scenarios (look up questions online) and “test” each other to see if you guys have similar work ethics. In theory, it sounds like it could be lot on fun though!
I hope it works out, good luck!
It depends on the strength of the friendship, if you can leave your personal life at the door (not comingling personal and work life), the positions you will both have within the organization, and if you share similar work ethics. It could be the best experience for you both or the worse. I think you should both talk/ brainstorm and discuss things like 1) what you think life would be like working together, 2) what are your expectation in working together, 3) if it doesn’t work out how would handle it (would one of you resign?), and 4) maybe have each of you come up with some work scenarios (look up questions online) and “test” each other to see if you guys have similar work ethics. In theory, it sounds like it could be lot on fun though!
I hope it works out, good luck!
Claudia Cavaliere
Project Analyst
1
Answer
Arlington, Texas
Updated
Claudia’s Answer
Sure...what I've learned is to keep work and friendship relationship separate. Don't let one interfere with the other.
Gabriela Sevciuc
Technical Analyst
7
Answers
Reston, Virginia
Updated
Gabriela’s Answer
I believe that the main question to ask is: "Is the job right for me and one I would enjoy, regardless of who I work with?"
If the answer is "yes", then having a best friend for a coworker will only make the experience better, as you would see a familiar face that makes it easy to collaborate. After all, eventually, some or many of our coworkers do become our friends too. If the answer is "no", then you should focus on the jobs that are right for you and best fit your skills and future goals, instead of putting emphasis on who you will be working with.
Best of luck!
If the answer is "yes", then having a best friend for a coworker will only make the experience better, as you would see a familiar face that makes it easy to collaborate. After all, eventually, some or many of our coworkers do become our friends too. If the answer is "no", then you should focus on the jobs that are right for you and best fit your skills and future goals, instead of putting emphasis on who you will be working with.
Best of luck!
Stacy Largent
QC Manager at Fannie Mae
18
Answers
Flower Mound, Texas
Updated
Stacy’s Answer
Marie - This is a great question and I think it really depends on the person and job situation. If you are both working at the same company but in different departments, the pros may outweigh the cons. It might be more challenging if you are working within the same department. It is great to have a friend to share new experiences with and be a support system but you also want to make sure you don't let your friendship impact your work deliverables.
If you ended up in the same department you would need to be prepared to handle management situations; how would you feel if he/she became your supervisor, how would you handle a situation if you became his/her supervisor and the other members of your team felt like he/she were getting more opportunities because he/she was your friend?
Making a list of Pros and Cons can help prepare for situations that may arise in the future!
If you ended up in the same department you would need to be prepared to handle management situations; how would you feel if he/she became your supervisor, how would you handle a situation if you became his/her supervisor and the other members of your team felt like he/she were getting more opportunities because he/she was your friend?
Making a list of Pros and Cons can help prepare for situations that may arise in the future!
Tami Morgan
Loan Servicing
4
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
Tami’s Answer
At one point my work bestie was promoted to be my manager. We knew the whole team was aware of our friendship, and worked extra hard to downplay it during work hours. We would still have lunch together, but often leave separately so it wasn't as obvious. We were very concerned that I might be viewed as a "favorite," and we worked hard to squash any rumors or hurt feelings before they started. I eventually left the company for a better opportunity, and am still good friends with my former boss. I will say, it definitely took a lot of hard work on our part to make it work, but as long as you're mindful of the situation and focus on work during work hours, I think you'll be fine. Good luck!
Hannah Diehl
Project Management
3
Answers
Washington, Washington
Updated
Hannah’s Answer
Hi Marie-- looks like you already have some great responses here, most of which I would agree with. While I think it is a great thing to have a friend at work, it may be challenging to work side by side with your BFF. For instance, what if your friend isn't as motivated as you are and slacks on projects where you have to pick up the slack? Would you feel comfortable going to your boss expressing your concern? Or would you feel like a tattletale? If you don't go to your boss or say anything then you may have built up tension towards your friend, which never ends up well! I have also found that it's nice to keep work and your personal life separate! I have worked with friends in the past and at times I felt like no matter where we were, we would talk about work!
Gloria Ortiz
Instructional Designer
845
Answers
Irving, Texas
Updated
Gloria’s Answer
Friendships at work can be challenging and rewarding. You have highlighted many of the rewards, such as having someone who knows what you are experiencing. There is nothing like a coworker for venting about work frustrations. Also they can help you remind you of a need for work - life balance, since you probably do stuff outside of work together. The greatest challenge is how close you are in terms of job roles. Having a good friend who is on the same actual team can be the most stressful. I lost a friendship when I was promoted over a good friend, becoming the manager of the team that we both worked on. She was never able to keep it professional. Any decisions that she didn't like got mentioned a lot outside of work, which is not appropriate. My professional choices were at odds with what she expected of me because I was her friend. She wanted special privileges. I would not depend on having personal friendships at work. You will have coworkers who can provide you with support in stressful times without it being anything but professional. All of this is dependent on about how professional each of you can be. I would say that if you truly treasure a relationship, then I would avoid working with them on the same team.
Praneetha Vintha
1
Answer
Ashburn, Virginia
Updated
Praneetha’s Answer
I think working with your best friend can be the best when it works. As long as you know your friends is going to help you stay on track and not distract you, having your best friend with you will always be beneficial.
James Drissel
Valuation Analyst
2
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
James’s Answer
I have found that working with friends, whether they are best friends or just acquaintances, is not good in the work place because at some point during your tenure you will have disagreements especially in regards to money. Sooner or later people, even best friends, rub each other the wrong way so to speak. I hope my answer helps. Great question though.
Meera Singh
Multifamily Credit
4
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
Meera’s Answer
I think it depends on the individuals and if they can maintain a separation between the professional and personal aspects of their lives. We spend a lot of time at work so you don't want any personal issues getting in the way at work. If this something you are contemplating, I think its best that both of you set boundaries so that there are no hurt feelings.
Jacob Kaplan
Analyst
6
Answers
Arlington, Virginia
Updated
Jacob’s Answer
I think its not a good or bad idea. Your best friend is someone who you are very comfortable with so within a group setting you may say something that you wouldn't without your friend there. In addition, I would also say that it is very helpful to work with different people in order to enable yourself to gain some different opinions and ideas.
Puneet Gupta
Lean Coach at Fannie Mae
9
Answers
Washington
Updated
Puneet’s Answer
Working with your friend can be great. My only advice would be define the roles and responsibilities. You don't want the nuances of work affect your friendship.
Dan Swartz
Credit Manager
2
Answers
Arlington, Virginia
Updated
Dan’s Answer
It’s a good question, and the answer is dependent on many things.
Are you choosing your career based on what your current best friend is doing? Even if you are both interested in the same fields, the chances that you would end up at the same job in the same company at the same time are low. There are many paths in career and personal life that require you to make the decision as to what’s best for you and your situation. Many times these paths head in different directions as you get older and have different experiences and opportunities.
You should make the decisions in your career based on your interests and goals.
Are you choosing your career based on what your current best friend is doing? Even if you are both interested in the same fields, the chances that you would end up at the same job in the same company at the same time are low. There are many paths in career and personal life that require you to make the decision as to what’s best for you and your situation. Many times these paths head in different directions as you get older and have different experiences and opportunities.
You should make the decisions in your career based on your interests and goals.
Terri L. Frazier
Web Manager, Web Services at Fannie Mae
13
Answers
Laurel, Maryland
Updated
Terri L.’s Answer
My question back to you is are you interested in the job or the relationship with the friend? If you are building your career or are really interested in the job, then I'd suggest that the addition of your best friend should not matter. If your relationship with your best friend is really strong, you might find yourself distracted. Get clear on your "why". Having said that, it seems like you've already given this some thought. In your question you lean towards "not". If you decide to move forward with it consider creating ground rules to how you will work together and try to stick to them. Good luck!
Kirby Heltman
10
Answers
Updated
Kirby’s Answer
Working with your friends can be a great experience and make the job more fun. However, in my experience working with both best friends and mere acquaintances, working with friends can be distracting. Along with this, if your best friend is less motivated than you, it can negatively impact your work ethic by influencing you to not work as hard, as well.
So all in all, working with your friend can have both negative and positive implications. You just have to determine if you will be able to face the possible distraction or influence of a freind.
So all in all, working with your friend can have both negative and positive implications. You just have to determine if you will be able to face the possible distraction or influence of a freind.
David Stegall
Appraiser
3
Answers
Fort Worth, Texas
Updated
David’s Answer
No, as you cannot separate your feelings from a business leader that has to make tough decisions that could ruin your friendship forever.
joann price
sales rep
11
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
joann’s Answer
Working with a friend can be enjoyable but can also be a challenge. Make sure that you are accepting the position because this is what you want and not because of your friend. The challenge can be if something happens between the friendship.
Debra Gloria
Senior Director-CFO Advisory Services
1
Answer
Dallas, Texas
Updated
Debra’s Answer
I was my best friend's boss for 10 years. It worked wonderfully! We kept it professional at work at all times. But, you must have an honest and open relationship in the friendship and be willing to accept differences, agree to disagree and be upfront with each other at all times. We did not talk about our outside activities together and in fact many of my team did not know we were friends outside of work.
Patricia Lane
Administrative Assistant
4
Answers
Hyattsville, Maryland
Updated
Patricia’s Answer
Marie, I would personally not work with a best friend. Sometimes working with a best friend could cause envy and unnecessary stress on the job and in the friend relationship. But, if I did happen to work with my best friend, I would let him/her know that at work we need to make sure to be professional and separate the two from each other,
Libbie Rozofsky
Vice President, Legal and Regulatory Compliance at Fannie Mae
3
Answers
Washington
Updated
Libbie’s Answer
It depends on what you mean by working with -- are you truly working with, or for? If it is with, it is not necessarily a problem, depending on your office/endeavor size. Some of my best friends I met on jobs, or helped find me ones. However, if is it working for a best friend, you are better off passing. It will be difficult for both of you -- he/she as the manager, assuming he/she is managing more than just you, and difficult for you if he/she needs to deliver any constructive criticism on the performance front.
Brenda Foster
underwriter
9
Answers
Rowlett, Texas
Updated
Brenda’s Answer
It probably is not a good idea to work with a best friend especially in the same department. For one thing, if something happens at work and you have a falling out it is really hard to separate the working relationship from your friendship. I think I would try to keep it all separate. However, if you report to different people but just work at the same company it could work. I know a lot of people where a friend has recommended them to someone at their company and that person was hired, just not reporting to the same managers.
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