4 answers
kamryn
Student
Las Vegas, Nevada
2
Questions
Updated
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For an introverted individual, is it a good idea to request three roommates?
I am shy and find it easy to stay to myself, but I would like to make new friends at my university. Is rooming with three other people a good way to make, at least, a few good friends, or should I make friends through another alternative? #friends #college #higher-education #education #career #social
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4 answers
Seth Daniel Bernstein
Coach, Counselor, Personal Branding Expert, Marketer, Educator
36
Answers
Upland, California
Updated
Seth Daniel’s Answer
Hello Kamryn,
I think Ms. Nguyen provided a great practical answer to your question. The reason I am answering is that I am proud to say that I have a number of introverted traits and tendencies, so I thought my perspective might be helpful. From working with many students and my own experience, I have learned that introverted people are highly varied with respect to their preferences for social interactions. Some truly enjoy a lot of social interaction, and just need some "alone time" every day to re-charge and refresh. Others prefer to spend time alone, and many of us fall somewhere in between. So think about how you experience your introversion, and what is most important to you in order to nurture your happiness and productivity. Hopefully that is not too hard, because introspection is one of the great gifts of being introverted!
Try to envision how the greater social interaction (and more frequent interruptions of your quiet time) will affect your ability to be happy and productive. If a room mate interrupts your study time, how will that affect you? Will you take it in stride and get right back to your work, or will it make it your study time less productive or even ruin it? If you have a room mate who occasionally over-steps your boundaries, will you handle it with patience and understanding, or will it create emotional hardship for you?
Most importantly, your decision should be a true reflection of what you need to maintain happiness and productivity. There is no right or wrong, no should or shouldn't. Think of yourself, and let your own preferences drive your decision. Your decision needs to only be right for one person: you!
My last advice for you is to always remind yourself of the many wonderful gifts that introversion brings: the ability to solve problems independently, the ability to focus for long periods without social breaks, the ability to think deeply about yourself as a unique individual, and perhaps the ability to work just as well independently as in groups. Introversion can be a gift if you learn to value and use its many benefits.
I think Ms. Nguyen provided a great practical answer to your question. The reason I am answering is that I am proud to say that I have a number of introverted traits and tendencies, so I thought my perspective might be helpful. From working with many students and my own experience, I have learned that introverted people are highly varied with respect to their preferences for social interactions. Some truly enjoy a lot of social interaction, and just need some "alone time" every day to re-charge and refresh. Others prefer to spend time alone, and many of us fall somewhere in between. So think about how you experience your introversion, and what is most important to you in order to nurture your happiness and productivity. Hopefully that is not too hard, because introspection is one of the great gifts of being introverted!
Try to envision how the greater social interaction (and more frequent interruptions of your quiet time) will affect your ability to be happy and productive. If a room mate interrupts your study time, how will that affect you? Will you take it in stride and get right back to your work, or will it make it your study time less productive or even ruin it? If you have a room mate who occasionally over-steps your boundaries, will you handle it with patience and understanding, or will it create emotional hardship for you?
Most importantly, your decision should be a true reflection of what you need to maintain happiness and productivity. There is no right or wrong, no should or shouldn't. Think of yourself, and let your own preferences drive your decision. Your decision needs to only be right for one person: you!
My last advice for you is to always remind yourself of the many wonderful gifts that introversion brings: the ability to solve problems independently, the ability to focus for long periods without social breaks, the ability to think deeply about yourself as a unique individual, and perhaps the ability to work just as well independently as in groups. Introversion can be a gift if you learn to value and use its many benefits.
Lauren Patterson
Google Software Engineer
10
Answers
Updated
Lauren’s Answer
Kamryn,
When you first get to college everyone is looking for friends so don't worry about having to seek them out. Your first friendships formed in school will most likely be your roommates since you will be living with them. If you feel comfortable rooming with three people I think it is a good idea although this is not the only way you will meet people. Freshman year everything and everyone is new so you will meet a lot of people your first semester. Just be open minded when it comes to new friendships and they will come naturally.
-Lauren
When you first get to college everyone is looking for friends so don't worry about having to seek them out. Your first friendships formed in school will most likely be your roommates since you will be living with them. If you feel comfortable rooming with three people I think it is a good idea although this is not the only way you will meet people. Freshman year everything and everyone is new so you will meet a lot of people your first semester. Just be open minded when it comes to new friendships and they will come naturally.
-Lauren
Vickey Manning
MD
59
Answers
Baltimore, Maryland
Updated
Vickey’s Answer
As an introverted person, I would suggest just one roommate. Four people, who don't know one another, sharing a room, can be an overwhelming prospect. In the dorms there will be a lot of other "neighbors" around to help you out of your shell. Pick a club or organization that seems interesting to be exposed to an even greater number of people.
Linh T. Nguyen
Area Coordinator at Lesley University
8
Answers
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Updated
Linh T.’s Answer
Hello,
Having the experience of living with roommates can help you devlope valuable life skills that will serve you well. There is nothing wrong about choosing roommates as an introvert if you are seeking the experience of living with someone else.
If you are living with people for the first time, I suggest having an clear open line of communication over boundries and expectations early on with your roommate(s). Some people have the expectation of being best friends with their roommates and conflict may arise when those expectations aren't met.
If you are living on campus, you can find additional support with your Resident Assistant or professional staff memeber in the Residence Life office. They can help you navigate the conversation with your roommates and set you up for helpful tools to help everyone maintain a reasonable living enviorment.
Best of luck!
Having the experience of living with roommates can help you devlope valuable life skills that will serve you well. There is nothing wrong about choosing roommates as an introvert if you are seeking the experience of living with someone else.
If you are living with people for the first time, I suggest having an clear open line of communication over boundries and expectations early on with your roommate(s). Some people have the expectation of being best friends with their roommates and conflict may arise when those expectations aren't met.
If you are living on campus, you can find additional support with your Resident Assistant or professional staff memeber in the Residence Life office. They can help you navigate the conversation with your roommates and set you up for helpful tools to help everyone maintain a reasonable living enviorment.
Best of luck!