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Can you describe a situation in which you were supposed to work with a person you didn't like and how you handled it?
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7 answers
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Rebecca’s Answer
Working with someone you don't get along with is always challenging, but there are things you can do to make it easier for everyone involved. A personal example of mine is working with a women that had a completely different personality, interests and generally she was more of a negative person than me and it was hard to work together. Here is what I did:
1) I made myself empathize that she has her own story and things that in her life going on that make her who she is. Just because she is hard to get along with doesn't take away from her as a person.
2) I made a lot of small talk to find any common ground, and asked her about her interests that were different than mine. People like talking about their interests, especially if you are actually listening and asking questions based off what they have already told you.
3) Focus on what you can control, as instead of what you can't control
4) Ask for advice from your manager! You don't have to name names, but you can tell them you are wanting to make the situation better and how they can assist with the process.
1) I made myself empathize that she has her own story and things that in her life going on that make her who she is. Just because she is hard to get along with doesn't take away from her as a person.
2) I made a lot of small talk to find any common ground, and asked her about her interests that were different than mine. People like talking about their interests, especially if you are actually listening and asking questions based off what they have already told you.
3) Focus on what you can control, as instead of what you can't control
4) Ask for advice from your manager! You don't have to name names, but you can tell them you are wanting to make the situation better and how they can assist with the process.
Updated
Silvia’s Answer
Hi Jessica!
This is a challenging situation that some of us have faced (sometimes more than once).
I don't think there is advise that work always because dislike is something personal, and so is the reaction (yours and the other person's).
What has worked for me is trying to really understand the dislike and try to move on.
However, if it doesn't work, the real challenge is to be the adult and professional you want to be and still be able to work along.
I suggest you to read this article from Forbes. It might help you. https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolelipkin/2019/01/30/how-to-work-with-someone-you-dont-like/5d1c0cf15fe4
This is a challenging situation that some of us have faced (sometimes more than once).
I don't think there is advise that work always because dislike is something personal, and so is the reaction (yours and the other person's).
What has worked for me is trying to really understand the dislike and try to move on.
However, if it doesn't work, the real challenge is to be the adult and professional you want to be and still be able to work along.
Silvia recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Blake’s Answer
Hey Jessica,
There will be many times in your career that you will have to work with someone that you don't "Like". The only thing that you can control is that you treat them with respect.
Thanks,
Blake
There will be many times in your career that you will have to work with someone that you don't "Like". The only thing that you can control is that you treat them with respect.
Thanks,
Blake
Updated
Don’s Answer
The answers already stated are right on target. The only thing I would add is be yourself. Not everyone in life will like you but stick to your values and what you believe in and don't deviate from those just to please others.
Updated
Sen’s Answer
Dear Jessica,
I think this happens with everyone in life sometime or other. If I could know with whom it is , it would have been easy.
since I have had this kind of situation couple of times and every time with patience and sometimes plain simple silence helped. Nevertheless, let me try to address the issue.
There are three kind of situations, when you get this feeling of getting stuck on inter personal issues like this and life appears to be in mess so far as working environment is concerned. These are discussed below.
1. If it is with the Boss, try to understand what he/she wants from you? Are you not able to meet the expectations or there is something more than which meets the eye. Talk to him, discuss it one to one and try to reason out the differences. May be you find that there was a perception issue. But in case that does not help, then don't bother much about the differences, focus on your work more than what you did till yesterday.
2. If it is with a co-worker, try to understand what is his/her problem with you. In case, you aren't able to fathom it out, do sit across the table over a cup of coffee with an open mind. More often than not, you will find that it's his/her own problem. If you can help, fine, else, remain within your domain and be calm. Avoid confrontation, don't react to his/her (wrong) doings, just ignore. After sometime, you will find things have become OK only through stony silence unless officially needed to be answered.
3. Lastly, if it is with one of your own team who reports into you but has a problem with you. Well, be friendly, try to gauge what is his/her problem with your personal conduct with him/her. Be a friend and guide and things will be fine.
You can fall back & feed back if required further help.
All The Best.
I think this happens with everyone in life sometime or other. If I could know with whom it is , it would have been easy.
since I have had this kind of situation couple of times and every time with patience and sometimes plain simple silence helped. Nevertheless, let me try to address the issue.
There are three kind of situations, when you get this feeling of getting stuck on inter personal issues like this and life appears to be in mess so far as working environment is concerned. These are discussed below.
1. If it is with the Boss, try to understand what he/she wants from you? Are you not able to meet the expectations or there is something more than which meets the eye. Talk to him, discuss it one to one and try to reason out the differences. May be you find that there was a perception issue. But in case that does not help, then don't bother much about the differences, focus on your work more than what you did till yesterday.
2. If it is with a co-worker, try to understand what is his/her problem with you. In case, you aren't able to fathom it out, do sit across the table over a cup of coffee with an open mind. More often than not, you will find that it's his/her own problem. If you can help, fine, else, remain within your domain and be calm. Avoid confrontation, don't react to his/her (wrong) doings, just ignore. After sometime, you will find things have become OK only through stony silence unless officially needed to be answered.
3. Lastly, if it is with one of your own team who reports into you but has a problem with you. Well, be friendly, try to gauge what is his/her problem with your personal conduct with him/her. Be a friend and guide and things will be fine.
You can fall back & feed back if required further help.
All The Best.
Laurie Graves
Leadership and Organizational Development, Recruiting, Executive Coaching, Communications and Negotiations Training cations Career Advice re
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Updated
Laurie’s Answer
This is a very good question as throughout your life you will need to work with and collaborate with people you don't 'like'. There were already some very good answers to this question so I wont repeat the other great responses. I do want to add that even if you don't like someone, or even more likely you don't respect someone, you can treat them with respect. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. These are intentional behaviors such as being punctual, being polite, and active listening - let them speak, listen intently, verify understanding and ask follow up questions.
Furthermore, agreeing on mutual purpose is essential to collaboration. If your mutual purpose isn't obvious, come up with a higher level goal that is a WIN/WIN for both. A fantastic resource for learning the skills to master difficult people, relationships and situations is the book, Crucial Conversations, by Greeny/Patterson. Throughout my 25 years in corporate training, it was the most highly adopted and requested training. There are also many videos on Youtube.
Finally, working with people that have different styles and perspectives may seem uncomfortable and that you don't 'click' or aren't on the same page. Look at these situations as opportunities to learn and grow. Get to know the other person and understand where they are coming from. It's more difficult and worth it! Diverse teams produce better products and outputs than teams that are too like-minded with narrow perspectives.
Furthermore, agreeing on mutual purpose is essential to collaboration. If your mutual purpose isn't obvious, come up with a higher level goal that is a WIN/WIN for both. A fantastic resource for learning the skills to master difficult people, relationships and situations is the book, Crucial Conversations, by Greeny/Patterson. Throughout my 25 years in corporate training, it was the most highly adopted and requested training. There are also many videos on Youtube.
Finally, working with people that have different styles and perspectives may seem uncomfortable and that you don't 'click' or aren't on the same page. Look at these situations as opportunities to learn and grow. Get to know the other person and understand where they are coming from. It's more difficult and worth it! Diverse teams produce better products and outputs than teams that are too like-minded with narrow perspectives.
Updated
Matthew’s Answer
Working with people can be difficult, sometimes the best way to work with a person you don't particularly like is to set goals, and objectives to get things done. Reward yourself when you achieve them, that way you have something to look forward to when you reach those goals.