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As a health care worker, when is a time you had difficulty setting your feeling aside and became emotional in front of a patient?

I will be attending nursing school this Fall, but have been thinking a lot about being in difficult situations with patients. Do nurses really become desensitized to tragic events? I know it can be difficult to witness and see death all throughout your career but is there any time that it is acceptable to grieve with a patient, to an extent? I am an emotional person, but I'd like to believe that I can be stronger holding back my feelings when working as an RN. #medicine #nursing #healthcare #emergency-medicine #icu-nurse

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Teresa’s Answer

Dear Crystal,
I have worked for almost 30 years in the NICU. There have been some very happy times and some very sad times. Nurses are people too --- can't help but have feelings for the situation. The important thing that I have learned is that it's OK to feel- you can't help it- but you need to still be able to ACT. What I mean by that is that you need to continue to work even when you are upset. The patient is counting on you to perform in an emergency. I have found that many nurses, the BEST nurses, fall apart AFTER the event, but work to make it thru the stressful time. I know it's not healthy to stuff your feelings, but I must admit I have done that before to get through it.


There is something called "compassion fatigue" and I think that is the area that nurses want to avoid! You know if you start becoming callous to a painful situation that it's time to go on a personal vacation and get away from the stress. Patients and families want to know that you really care- I think it's ok to cry with them, but you can't be paralyzed by the emotion- you need to keep using your skills to provide the hands on care.


Knowing that you are an emotional person is actually helpful, because you will be more aware of how to handle things as you move forward- "Holding back" as you say may be how you get through the tough times- But it's OK to fall apart LATER. Best of luck in your nursing career!
Thank you comment icon Thank you for responding, Teresa. I truly appreciate the advise! I hope your career has been a rewarding one and wish to one day gain as much experience as you have in the field. Best wishes! Crystal
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Kimberly’s Answer

I'm a Retired ER nurse. It's ok to show emotion, but you sometimes do have to put that aside to being a nurse. Example-having to start an IV on a child or treat burns. It's a necessary function that you have to do that's painful but you have to show no emotion to get the job done. Then I've often picked the child up to cuddle after. As stated previously compassion fatigue is real. You have to take care of yourself mentally and physically. It's a demanding job.
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