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How do you like to be comforted when you're sad or upset
Sometimes i be sad and upset about things most of the time i try to be happy. #summer
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Josée’s Answer
Hi Jakyiah,
a courageous and very interesting question. Developing emotional skills is not often talked about and is as important as other more traditional development areas. First, I think it is helpful to look at emotions such as sadness as a normal part of life. It’s easy to say but when someone is experiencing emotions that don't feel good, in trying to "get out of it" one can feel like their feeling is wrong or they are doing something wrong. Even blaming others for the situation can feel good for a little while but usually results in more unpleasant feelings. Emotions are actually very important as they are your guidance system telling you more about who you are and where you stand in each situation. Appreciating the information that they bring to you and being comfortable with them is a lifelong journey which gets better and better. I personally make it a practice to view the sadness/emotions as a positive opportunity. For example, it’s helpful to notice harmful self-talk and replace it with something like the following: "If I am sad there is something important for me to know here" or "I am a person that cares about others and therefore I get hurt sometimes", "Sensitivity is one of my gifts and I am learning more and more about it" and something like: "I always eventually feel better and I will this time too". I also found that a reminder list of things to do to feel better helps shift the situation when I am stuck. I have one handy in my office that usually does the trick: singing my favorite song, walking in nature, petting my cat, watching something funny. Another tip you might find helpful is - you can put almost any situation on pause to take a break and time to reflect/care for yourself. Often, we can feel stuck in an exchange with someone and it’s an emotional intelligence skill to let them know you need time. Get back to them later! We call those mental break days at work. Check out the Girl Up video link below and the very inspiring "mad money" example, find a mentor or someone to reach out to when needed. All the best to you on your journey and remember YOU GOT THIS!
Make a list of things that you love to do that can support you
One of my favorite uplifting video : https://www.olyinka.com/olyinka-mag/2018/8/7/girl-up-the-secrets-to-an-extraordinary-life-by-courtney-ferrell
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-toolkit.htm
a courageous and very interesting question. Developing emotional skills is not often talked about and is as important as other more traditional development areas. First, I think it is helpful to look at emotions such as sadness as a normal part of life. It’s easy to say but when someone is experiencing emotions that don't feel good, in trying to "get out of it" one can feel like their feeling is wrong or they are doing something wrong. Even blaming others for the situation can feel good for a little while but usually results in more unpleasant feelings. Emotions are actually very important as they are your guidance system telling you more about who you are and where you stand in each situation. Appreciating the information that they bring to you and being comfortable with them is a lifelong journey which gets better and better. I personally make it a practice to view the sadness/emotions as a positive opportunity. For example, it’s helpful to notice harmful self-talk and replace it with something like the following: "If I am sad there is something important for me to know here" or "I am a person that cares about others and therefore I get hurt sometimes", "Sensitivity is one of my gifts and I am learning more and more about it" and something like: "I always eventually feel better and I will this time too". I also found that a reminder list of things to do to feel better helps shift the situation when I am stuck. I have one handy in my office that usually does the trick: singing my favorite song, walking in nature, petting my cat, watching something funny. Another tip you might find helpful is - you can put almost any situation on pause to take a break and time to reflect/care for yourself. Often, we can feel stuck in an exchange with someone and it’s an emotional intelligence skill to let them know you need time. Get back to them later! We call those mental break days at work. Check out the Girl Up video link below and the very inspiring "mad money" example, find a mentor or someone to reach out to when needed. All the best to you on your journey and remember YOU GOT THIS!
Josée recommends the following next steps:
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Zoriana’s Answer
Happiness is our choice and we can choose it every day like a new clothes. However, it's important to remember that being upset, sad, stressed, feeling anger or being afraid of something - that is also part of human being and all these negative emotions and feelings exists together with positivity we have. I would suggest to identify what makes you feel such way, accept those feelings and try to change the situation if similar things happened in future.