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What’s holding me from my goals?
Is it the money? The lack of equipment? Or am I not striving enough? #career
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4 answers
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Olivia’s Answer
Hi Aziyah,
This question is one that I believe everyone has asked themselves at some point in time, it's something we all face! Sometimes the hardest part of staying accountable to one's goals is the goal themselves. The advice I will give you is two fold, the first part is to lean into setting goals using the SMART goals format. Make sure the goals you set are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Another tip I have is to write your goals on a post-it note and stick it somewhere you'll see everyday (bathroom mirror, beside your bed, etc.) to ensure your goals stay top of mind. If you are a reading fan, I highly recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which helps inspire readers to lean into habits that matter through step-by-step pathways to change/seize opportunities. Stay positive, you've got this!
This question is one that I believe everyone has asked themselves at some point in time, it's something we all face! Sometimes the hardest part of staying accountable to one's goals is the goal themselves. The advice I will give you is two fold, the first part is to lean into setting goals using the SMART goals format. Make sure the goals you set are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Another tip I have is to write your goals on a post-it note and stick it somewhere you'll see everyday (bathroom mirror, beside your bed, etc.) to ensure your goals stay top of mind. If you are a reading fan, I highly recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which helps inspire readers to lean into habits that matter through step-by-step pathways to change/seize opportunities. Stay positive, you've got this!
Updated
Gloria’s Answer
Hi Aziyah,
You have gotten some great feedback from others here. I just wanted to add something that I learned through my own experience.
Not reaching your goals can feel like failure and yet sometimes the failure is the way that you crafted your goals. While I do not know what you are going through, I can say from my experience that I had a tendency to make my goal too big. And then I got impatient when I didn't get there. I have suffered from weight problems my whole life. I have a lot of weight to lose. So I would have some big goal about weight loss. So I could not be happy losing a ten pounds when that was nowhere near my goal. I didn't think about clothes fitting better or me feeling better or having more energy. So in combination with focusing on too big a goal, it was also too narrow. You can have a big goal but you need to be able to measure your success in little goals. Because humans get impatient, you need the little goals to give you the rewards that you need along the way.
I am a learning professional as well. And in my career, I have learned that many people learn through failure. Trying something and not getting it right the first time, or the first ten times, is a part of the journey too. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try focusing on what went right and how to move forward on what didn't work out. Sometimes that means starting over. Sometimes that means that you need to ask for help. Sometimes it means that you have to do what you can and wait for what you can't control.
That you are asking yourself and us these questions means that you have passion and are not afraid to ask for help. That tells me you are brave, strong, and smart. You are going to find a way to reach your goals. Ideally there is something here that will give you a chance to make a new plan and try again.
Gloria
You have gotten some great feedback from others here. I just wanted to add something that I learned through my own experience.
Not reaching your goals can feel like failure and yet sometimes the failure is the way that you crafted your goals. While I do not know what you are going through, I can say from my experience that I had a tendency to make my goal too big. And then I got impatient when I didn't get there. I have suffered from weight problems my whole life. I have a lot of weight to lose. So I would have some big goal about weight loss. So I could not be happy losing a ten pounds when that was nowhere near my goal. I didn't think about clothes fitting better or me feeling better or having more energy. So in combination with focusing on too big a goal, it was also too narrow. You can have a big goal but you need to be able to measure your success in little goals. Because humans get impatient, you need the little goals to give you the rewards that you need along the way.
I am a learning professional as well. And in my career, I have learned that many people learn through failure. Trying something and not getting it right the first time, or the first ten times, is a part of the journey too. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try focusing on what went right and how to move forward on what didn't work out. Sometimes that means starting over. Sometimes that means that you need to ask for help. Sometimes it means that you have to do what you can and wait for what you can't control.
That you are asking yourself and us these questions means that you have passion and are not afraid to ask for help. That tells me you are brave, strong, and smart. You are going to find a way to reach your goals. Ideally there is something here that will give you a chance to make a new plan and try again.
Gloria
Updated
Irina’s Answer
Often, we strive for success in a specific task, project or a career path but despite our hard work, we don't get the Results and Goals we have set to achieve. The reasons behind - procrastination, lack of motivation, lack of opportunities, resources, times of uncertainty, confusion, too many tedious steps to take before we reach our goals – they are all valid reasons people pause and not move forward. Sometimes people stop there because it is just too difficult or confusing to continue forward. There are too many disappointing thoughts, feelings and fears in their mind. Many times, it is the feeling that they really are not worthy of the goals and the success they have set for themselves. In other words, they want “the Results” but they feel they “don’t deserve them”. It is all about listening to your inner voice and finding the right balance in your life first.
Be creative, be mindful and be ready “to recalculate” your path. Stay adoptive and hold your Goals to a Good High Standard. The Goals should be clear, realistic and progressive. Revisit them often, don’t be afraid if things do not turn out exactly as you expected them to. Just remember that if you really feel you deserve something and you are willing to take the right steps, you will get there somehow.
Nobody said that there is only one way to get from point A to Point B. Be like the GPS system in your car – when you are going somewhere and you miss to make the right turn on a specific street, the GPS system recalculates and offers you a new path to take so you can still reach your destination.
Motivation is the key, the agile thinking the way. Confidence is defined as “the willingness to try”. We are not good in all areas of life and that is okay. But we can learn, we can get better. We can stay alert; we can seek for assistance where needed. For example – you need a good resume for a prospective role within a company you would love to work for. Work with a Resume Writer or a Career Coach. This is your shot to go work for your dream company. Just because you did well in Literature class or you know how to find a good template for your resume online, does not mean that you should know how to construct the best resume for this role. Trust an expert to help you. This would speed the process and then you will be well preparared as you can to tacke the application and interview process.
Ask yourself these questios in terms of your Goals:
1. Are these goals really mine and what I truly wish and strive for? Often times, we take our family or society expectations for our career ahead but this is not what really excites us.
2. Are my goals clear and realistic in the short term? They need to be the framework for the next set of goals. Step by step. Always.
3. If not, spend some time reflecting – what is really holding me back – is it the fear that I will not succeed, or the lack of knowledge of what needs to happen next, or is it as simple as – these goals do not represent who I am, and my passions, skills and talents.
4. If they are clear in your mind, just start working on each tedious step. It may not be exciting at first, but you know that this is all part of the game.
For example – you want a shiny, clean kitchen. Well, you would need to get up and wash the dishes and put the groceries away. This is a tedious step but it needs to be done so you can have your clean kitchen.Yes, it is not a glorified task and it takes time but do not avoid it, do not overthink it. Otherwise, you will spend one hour thinking of what you need to do, you will not be as focused, and you will continue to feel pressured to do it. The more you postpone it, the worse the pressure is. Instead, just get up, go do it and you will be done in 20 minutes. Then, after you have completed your task, go enjoy and do whatever for the next 40 minutes. Same one hour – two different approaches, one to make you feel you accomplished and the other one to make you feel pressured.
Enjoy the ride, stay calm and happy – certain days you will feel you are on top of the world, other days, you may feel a bit unproductive and hitting a dead end. But that is okay, all part of the process of learning to focus, to be agile and successful in your journey!
Be creative, be mindful and be ready “to recalculate” your path. Stay adoptive and hold your Goals to a Good High Standard. The Goals should be clear, realistic and progressive. Revisit them often, don’t be afraid if things do not turn out exactly as you expected them to. Just remember that if you really feel you deserve something and you are willing to take the right steps, you will get there somehow.
Nobody said that there is only one way to get from point A to Point B. Be like the GPS system in your car – when you are going somewhere and you miss to make the right turn on a specific street, the GPS system recalculates and offers you a new path to take so you can still reach your destination.
Motivation is the key, the agile thinking the way. Confidence is defined as “the willingness to try”. We are not good in all areas of life and that is okay. But we can learn, we can get better. We can stay alert; we can seek for assistance where needed. For example – you need a good resume for a prospective role within a company you would love to work for. Work with a Resume Writer or a Career Coach. This is your shot to go work for your dream company. Just because you did well in Literature class or you know how to find a good template for your resume online, does not mean that you should know how to construct the best resume for this role. Trust an expert to help you. This would speed the process and then you will be well preparared as you can to tacke the application and interview process.
Ask yourself these questios in terms of your Goals:
1. Are these goals really mine and what I truly wish and strive for? Often times, we take our family or society expectations for our career ahead but this is not what really excites us.
2. Are my goals clear and realistic in the short term? They need to be the framework for the next set of goals. Step by step. Always.
3. If not, spend some time reflecting – what is really holding me back – is it the fear that I will not succeed, or the lack of knowledge of what needs to happen next, or is it as simple as – these goals do not represent who I am, and my passions, skills and talents.
4. If they are clear in your mind, just start working on each tedious step. It may not be exciting at first, but you know that this is all part of the game.
For example – you want a shiny, clean kitchen. Well, you would need to get up and wash the dishes and put the groceries away. This is a tedious step but it needs to be done so you can have your clean kitchen.Yes, it is not a glorified task and it takes time but do not avoid it, do not overthink it. Otherwise, you will spend one hour thinking of what you need to do, you will not be as focused, and you will continue to feel pressured to do it. The more you postpone it, the worse the pressure is. Instead, just get up, go do it and you will be done in 20 minutes. Then, after you have completed your task, go enjoy and do whatever for the next 40 minutes. Same one hour – two different approaches, one to make you feel you accomplished and the other one to make you feel pressured.
Enjoy the ride, stay calm and happy – certain days you will feel you are on top of the world, other days, you may feel a bit unproductive and hitting a dead end. But that is okay, all part of the process of learning to focus, to be agile and successful in your journey!
Updated
Antonio’s Answer
Hi Aziyah,
I think you should focus more on enjoying the path to your goals than actually getting to them; whenever I want to achieve something I enjoy the progress and the lessons I have by taking the steps to my goal; maybe at the end your objective will change, grow or even stop being the main goal and just transform into another piece of a bigger plan. Consider also writing down your step by step, so you will have a clear view of your plan and have easier tasks you need to complete first, so they will become your short-term goals.
Hope this helps, keep working, learning and enjoying!
Antonio
I think you should focus more on enjoying the path to your goals than actually getting to them; whenever I want to achieve something I enjoy the progress and the lessons I have by taking the steps to my goal; maybe at the end your objective will change, grow or even stop being the main goal and just transform into another piece of a bigger plan. Consider also writing down your step by step, so you will have a clear view of your plan and have easier tasks you need to complete first, so they will become your short-term goals.
Hope this helps, keep working, learning and enjoying!
Antonio