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how do you know what is toxic

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Irina’s Answer

Great question, Kareem.

Toxicity - it could be in our relationships, in our professional work day, in our thoughts and actions, in the food we eat. It is quite simple, actually - toxic is something which distrurbs you in such a negative way that you need to avoid it. You intutition will tell you, it will show you signs. Toxicity could be felt strongly, when your internal voice tells you that the person, the job, the situation is not welcomed around you and you need to walk away. Toxicity is a gut feeling that what is around you is not good for you, it is not your path, it is not your desire and you should run from this situation. It should be avoided, otherwise it makes you sick. Toxic could be being in a team of people who do not share the same values and priorities at work, people who contastly complain and bring the positive vibe down every time they work on a project. Toxic could be a relationship with a family member or a freind. Toxic could be a job you absolutely dislike, a job that requires a lot of you but does not give you anything back - an opportunity to learn, appreciation or even fair market pay.

Irina recommends the following next steps:

If you are in a toxic situation, take a deep breathe. Distant yourself, find quiet place and time to reflect of why you think it is a toxic. Follow your instincts. Your internal voice knows why. Just let it tell you. Meditate.
Leave the situation in the long run, it could make you sick. Why risk your body and mind's health? Is it really that worth it?
Once you leave the toxicity in the past, new horizons and opportunities will come around and present themselves to you,
Respect yourself, feel like you derserve harmony. You will attract it!
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Brittany’s Answer

Hi Kareem,

Thank you for asking this tough question. The word "toxic" can be applied to so much - to situations, environments, individuals, groups, and it can happen overtly (obviously / out in the open) or covertly (without anyone knowing).

An example that comes to mind for covert situations is "gaslighting" at work: when a person—typically a colleague or manager—invalidates what you know to be true, forcing you to question the facts and, ultimately, yourself and your ability to do your job.

You could start to know that that toxicity is happening because you may experience the following:
Increase in absenteeism (not showing up to work)
Reduced productivity
Increased anxiety about going to work
A decline in performance quality
An inability to accept genuine criticism
Mood swings, etc.

If you do experience the above, then it's your cue that something isn't right. You will need to do some self-exploration to really find out the root cause of it. Maybe it's talking to your HR department, maybe to a mentor, or perhaps even seeking out professional help from a therapist to uncover it. But, you MUST not ignore it! Or, simply researching "toxic environments" to be proactive and get ahead of it so that it doesn't get to the point of any of the cues above and you are able to acknowledge what is happening right away.

Hope this helps and good luck!
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