2 answers
King
Student
Strong, Maine
1
Question
Updated
1568 views
What do death doulas/death midwives do?
ive recently discovered this job and want to know more in depth what they do and what skills are required to complete their job. it seems fascinating! #medical #doula #midwife #healthcare #medicine
2 answers
angie azur
Writer | Artist | Death Doula | Yoga | Meditation | Psychology | Philosophy
78
Answers
Weaverville, NC
Updated
angie’s Answer
Hello, King!
Well, how perfect for me to see this question as a part of my PhD program I am taking a course in Death Doula and I have been a part of some transitions. What we do is very personal and very loving. And it varies depending upon the family and what they ask for from us.
Here's an example:
A client with Alzheimer's was in her last stages. This means she was getting ready to transition. We use the word transition because we believe that the energy of a person leaves the body and moves into another dimension, or place, or being....it's a transition, not a death for my type of doula. Others are different.
So, the family asked for a death doula to be there to help the transition be as kind and gentle as possible. I spent time with the daughter and came up with a plan for the transition. The client loved candles, funny little sayings on pins, pasta, and Italian music. So, I set up the room with a few unscented candles, some pins from her daughter, an offering of bow tie pasta and light music played in the background. I spoke with the client as she lay in her bed with her family around. I performed a ceremony, a ritual of love and respect....everyone spoke if they were so inclined. As the client went through her transitioning stages (a few hours time) I was there to console the family, hold the space for their grief, bless the client as she left her body, and treat all with respect.
Now, each transition is different. Some families want a doula to be involved weeks before the transition, some just at the very end. Some clients call for themselves, as they know they are going to leave soon and want someone's hand to hold them and to allow their families to grieve without the responsibility of holding the space for the transition. It's all very personal. The main thing to remember is to not bring your agenda to the room, to the transition....you may believe in something very different than what the client believes in or the family, your role as a doula is to respect all thoughts of life or the afterlife and death, without judgment....and to treat everyone with respect always.
Being a death doula does not have to be somber...I bring a lot of play and joy to the transition. In the example above, I read some of the funny sayings out loud and the family got to laugh and remember the client that way....But I do respect those that do want it to be a somber goodbye, and I do not force my playfulness onto them.
There are a few great Death Doula classes out there -- you might want to check out some for yourself. Find one that resonates with you... price-wise, philosophy, timing, and the way they email or hold classes.
Good luck!
Well, how perfect for me to see this question as a part of my PhD program I am taking a course in Death Doula and I have been a part of some transitions. What we do is very personal and very loving. And it varies depending upon the family and what they ask for from us.
Here's an example:
A client with Alzheimer's was in her last stages. This means she was getting ready to transition. We use the word transition because we believe that the energy of a person leaves the body and moves into another dimension, or place, or being....it's a transition, not a death for my type of doula. Others are different.
So, the family asked for a death doula to be there to help the transition be as kind and gentle as possible. I spent time with the daughter and came up with a plan for the transition. The client loved candles, funny little sayings on pins, pasta, and Italian music. So, I set up the room with a few unscented candles, some pins from her daughter, an offering of bow tie pasta and light music played in the background. I spoke with the client as she lay in her bed with her family around. I performed a ceremony, a ritual of love and respect....everyone spoke if they were so inclined. As the client went through her transitioning stages (a few hours time) I was there to console the family, hold the space for their grief, bless the client as she left her body, and treat all with respect.
Now, each transition is different. Some families want a doula to be involved weeks before the transition, some just at the very end. Some clients call for themselves, as they know they are going to leave soon and want someone's hand to hold them and to allow their families to grieve without the responsibility of holding the space for the transition. It's all very personal. The main thing to remember is to not bring your agenda to the room, to the transition....you may believe in something very different than what the client believes in or the family, your role as a doula is to respect all thoughts of life or the afterlife and death, without judgment....and to treat everyone with respect always.
Being a death doula does not have to be somber...I bring a lot of play and joy to the transition. In the example above, I read some of the funny sayings out loud and the family got to laugh and remember the client that way....But I do respect those that do want it to be a somber goodbye, and I do not force my playfulness onto them.
There are a few great Death Doula classes out there -- you might want to check out some for yourself. Find one that resonates with you... price-wise, philosophy, timing, and the way they email or hold classes.
Good luck!
Inioluwa Onafowokan
2
Answers
Ota, Osun, Nigeria
Updated
Inioluwa’s Answer
Death Doulas give an enriching experience of death for dying patients and build strong relationships between people that matter to the patient.
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