Whats the best way to deal with the people having negative attitude ? Should we stay with them ?
I kinda of like sharing my upcoming plans with people I know and most of the time they have negative feedback and tells me that they know this is not right and then put some logic to support their claim which is kind of right in their own way but very demoralizing. So what should one do when people are against your personal decision. Even when one's doing what he feels he should do and then sometimes he fails to do that and thinks maybe people are right and I should stop doing what I'm doing and it's very frustrating. So how should one deal with these feelings and what should one say to these people when they are older than you and have gone through the same stage as one's going right now cause if not said then the same negativity revolves around in mind again and again. #career-counseling #social-psychologist
13 answers
Krystal’s Answer
Theres always a right and wrong way to say things. If a particular person in your life feels that you shouldnt do something, ask them to explain why. If the answer is logical...maybe you should open conversation and explain what your goals are. On the other hand, you have people who are just negative . Ever heard "Misery loves company". SOmetimes people want to be able to control everything in their life and try to control others too.
Its hard to avoid negative people. Develop a strategy for yourself for negative people. Be cordial, "fill" them with kindness and move on. We all learn from our mistakes. You decide your destiny, and the ones who care, will always support you...no matter what. Stay positive!
Kate’s Answer
Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn something negative into a positive! Lead by example. If these are people very close to you, try a little competition: the "no complaining rule" - whoever complains first has to take the other one to lunch. If these are mere acquaintances, do not spend another ounce of energy trying to please them. Negativity rubs off on people - its contagious. You know what else is like this? Positivity.
One day on my way home from work, I was feeling really bummed out about a bad work relationship and stressed about everything that was on my plate - and just feeling really negative. Moments later, a woman who was clearly quadriplegic (no arm or leg movement) began crossing the street in her wheel chair. I looked closer and noticed she also had a White Cane - she was blind too. And there she was crossing the street all by her self with a smile on her face. And I thought, "dang, I'm not going to waste another minute being negative or allowing negative people to affect me. If this woman can get across the street, then what obstacles do I have that I can't get over?"
Positivity is contagious - lead by example.
Carla’s Answer
People may have a negative outlook on life because that is what they're used to, however if I can propose a different perspective, and help them see the benefits of moving in a career lead direction. It could be frustrating to most, but to me it's just a challenge I love to face.
Bethany Krombholz
Bethany’s Answer
Surround yourself with positive people. If the negative people are close to you and you need to see them often, you may just need to "agree to disagree" and move on with your dreams and goals. Just be sure to seek wisdom and counsel for your plans from a few different reputable, trusted sources to make sure you are on the right path.
Brian’s Answer
The best thing you can do is to try to break down their barrier and be friend and stay positive. I know that isn't easy thing to do but they might be going thru very rough time in their life and hopefully this is just short term thing that you can help change.
If it is someone that is not changing after so long I would try to remove myself from the situation as you don't want it to get to the point where its affecting your everyday life as you want to be around positive influences and not negative ones bringing you down.
Kim’s Answer
Harpreet,
I'm going to break from the pack on this one. You said these people are older than you. So, the first thing I have to ask, is, is it true negativity, or is it just an opinion that you'd rather not hear? We live in the world of social media, where everything we say or do is "liked" and we race to collect the most"friends," yet, are more alone and lonely than ever before.
Sometimes us "old" people are trying to protect you, sometimes we "know" things because we've been knocked around a little while on this journey we call "life." And yes, sometimes we are just plain negative, grumpy old goats! Something I noticed, when my son got to be a certain age, is nothing we said was valid (That's a normal part of growing up.) Yet, he started doing odd jobs for the man next door, and they would talk, and he would instill a lot of good ideas in my son. It really helped him to grow into a fine young man. Perhaps seek to find an adult in your life who you respect enough that you will listen to their input, both good and bad?
Perhaps there might be a kernel of wisdom in all that grumpiness? Maybe not. Why not post your career plan here on the CareerVillage career plan site, and let us take a look at it and offer our feedback?
And if I'm way off base, and these are just totally negative people, see answers 1-5, above!
Kim
Lissa’s Answer
Unfortunately, everyone is not as supportive as we'd like...even those close to us. Therefore, I say surround yourself with people who have proven to be supportive and stay away from those who show nothing but negativity. It is difficult enough having to face the rejection that naturally comes with the job-seeking task, you do not need the people around you who are not going to give you positive feedback that will boost your morale and encourage you to push forward.
Great question...I have a feeling that you will do just fine!!
Ken’s Answer
Hi Harpreet!
Sorry you are having such a difficult time. Here is some good information from good sources that might help:
https://www.themuse.com/advice/science-is-the-best-5-proven-exercises-to-make-you-genuinely-happier
https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-become-the-most-positive-person-in-your-office
Also, look for positive people in your chosen field. Look for organizations to which people in your areas of interest belong, so that you can counter the negativity that you are feeling around you.
If you feel that things are really getting to you, seek professional counseling assistance. Seeking such help is a sign of strength - not weakness.
Best of luck. Let me know if and how this might help.
Mary E.’s Answer
There will always be detractors. Ask for advice where you need it, but remember that final choices are yours.
Jasdeep’s Answer
Excellent Question.
There are people around you with Positive attitude and Negative, as well. You can't always choose to be in a positive atmosphere. Specially, when the one with a Negative attitude happens to be your friend or family.
The best way, in my opinion to tackle negativity, is with an overly positive attitude. You can negate/cancel their negativity with your positivity.
Also, its always good to hear the other side of the story. Give them a chance to explain themselves and try to counter their negativity with your positive feedback.
Sindhu’s Answer
They say that there's no light without dark, no good without evil and that nothing can exist if its direct opposite doesn't exist. If there's negativity around you, then there should be positivity too. Look for it, may be it's within you. Do what you love and feel is correct. You may fail but that doesn't mean you can't win. You learn from your mistakes. Admit your failures, but don't doubt your abilities and don't let others doubt your abilities. Work hard for what you want regardless of what people talk about you. It will take you places and they will pat your back when that happens. For sure! Good luck! Stay strong!
Cathy’s Answer
Hello! Your question is a good one and very relevant for today's environment. Remember, not everyone will be happy for your success or even your desire to be successful. When we share our hopes and dreams, sometimes it's a bit threatening to those who don't feel like they measure up. Keep those you know and trust to support your efforts to succeed close by. If you don't have anyone like that in your world, head to the library and read books or listen to CD's that focus on encouragement and self-improvement so you can build up your inner man (or woman). Learn to be your own best friend first! And keep pressing forward. One day at a time is how the greatest achievers get there. Defy the odds and step up!
Maria’s Answer
Go with your heart. Keep asking people and get their feedback. Thank them for their time and then go with what you feel is best for you.