4 answers
Brooklynn
Student
Dry Ridge, Kentucky
3
Questions
Asked
379 views
How can I change the way I think?
I constantly feel like people are judging me I’m scared to do anything anymore I don’t even leave my room in my own home cause I have this feeling they don’t wanna be around me
Login to comment
4 answers
Jacqueline Wang (袁瑩穎)
Professional Life Coach | Career Coach | Artist
20
Answers
Singapore
Updated
Jacqueline’s Answer
hi Brooklyn, breathe - you are not alone in this. it is normal to have doubts from time to time about how others may be judging us. If it is causing you significant anxiety, almost to the extent of being helpless, i would encourage you to please share this feeling with someone you trust and possibly a therapist or school counsellor if you are open to it,
The feeling of being judged can manifest. Take a deep breath and ask yourself for possible reasons that you may be feeling this way. Was it because of some incident that happen or does it often happen with some individuals ? it is totally ok to reach out to get help , sometimes to get a different perspective.
i used to feel this way in my younger years, and i often feel inadequate. As time goes by, i realised that people actually think much lesser about me (& don't really spent so much of their time judging me) when i thought. They already have lots of other stuff about THEMSELVES as priority in their head
What i also realised was that if a bad incident happened to me, i was the one repeatedly replaying the scene in my head, and i may be the person judging myself. and imaging what others think of me - while people already moved way past from the event. i was killing my own confidence and my worst enemies. a tip that worked for me - that you can consider , is that we are all learning to be better everyday. that way, you will be less likely to judge yourself harshly (or unrealistically).
go reach out to someone you can trust, and share your thoughts. You are much bigger and better that you think, dont let these imaginary negative thoughts pull you down. if there are toxic people around you, dont associate with them, they are not worthy of your friendship. When you start to believe in yourself, the world will believe in you.
take care and im rooting for you from the other side of the world :)
The feeling of being judged can manifest. Take a deep breath and ask yourself for possible reasons that you may be feeling this way. Was it because of some incident that happen or does it often happen with some individuals ? it is totally ok to reach out to get help , sometimes to get a different perspective.
i used to feel this way in my younger years, and i often feel inadequate. As time goes by, i realised that people actually think much lesser about me (& don't really spent so much of their time judging me) when i thought. They already have lots of other stuff about THEMSELVES as priority in their head
What i also realised was that if a bad incident happened to me, i was the one repeatedly replaying the scene in my head, and i may be the person judging myself. and imaging what others think of me - while people already moved way past from the event. i was killing my own confidence and my worst enemies. a tip that worked for me - that you can consider , is that we are all learning to be better everyday. that way, you will be less likely to judge yourself harshly (or unrealistically).
go reach out to someone you can trust, and share your thoughts. You are much bigger and better that you think, dont let these imaginary negative thoughts pull you down. if there are toxic people around you, dont associate with them, they are not worthy of your friendship. When you start to believe in yourself, the world will believe in you.
take care and im rooting for you from the other side of the world :)
T.J. Worthy
Mentor
202
Answers
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Updated
T.J.’s Answer
Hello Brooklynn!
I have a lot of empathy for you. Dealing with anxiety around others is hard.
Something that is helpful to know - and remind yourself overtime - is:
- You are not a bad person for feeling scared, or for...anything really.
- You deserve support.
- You are valuable and worthy, not because of your actions; but because you are a human being.
Allow yourself to believe these three things. It will take time to fully accept these ideas, but just take one step to be more compassionate towards yourself.
An exercise you might want to try is make a table of two columns with "things I don't like about X" and "things I do like about X." [X can be whatever situation that brings up feelings of anxiety for you].
Write five things on each side. Step away for a week. Then read over the list. Add 5 more things to each side, and repeat.
It's good to acknowledge your negative feelings and your positive feelings too. We often fall into a trap where we either "really need to love ourselves" or "we really dislike ourselves."
Often, we don't give ourselves space to acknowledge 𝘢𝘭𝘭 of our feelings. Rather, many people use black and white thinking. We need 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎.
Something else that might help too is seeking professional help for mental health. Therapists work to help people!
I'd encourage you to explore counseling through your school, or finding therapists near you. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can reach out to your parents or trusted adults for advice on finding therapy.
Remember: you are not attention seeking or bad for wanting help. You are support seeking. You deserve to feel better.
Here's a list of free resources to take a look at:
https://bfpnola.notion.site/bfpnola/Mental-Health-Resources-705026c915ab46f5bccdfbdac32d42bf
And if you're looking for support from other teens, I recommend checking out Livewell:
https://www.livewell-foundation.org/teens
Sending you (so much) support & encouragement with holding space for your mind/feelings :)
I have a lot of empathy for you. Dealing with anxiety around others is hard.
Something that is helpful to know - and remind yourself overtime - is:
- You are not a bad person for feeling scared, or for...anything really.
- You deserve support.
- You are valuable and worthy, not because of your actions; but because you are a human being.
Allow yourself to believe these three things. It will take time to fully accept these ideas, but just take one step to be more compassionate towards yourself.
An exercise you might want to try is make a table of two columns with "things I don't like about X" and "things I do like about X." [X can be whatever situation that brings up feelings of anxiety for you].
Write five things on each side. Step away for a week. Then read over the list. Add 5 more things to each side, and repeat.
It's good to acknowledge your negative feelings and your positive feelings too. We often fall into a trap where we either "really need to love ourselves" or "we really dislike ourselves."
Often, we don't give ourselves space to acknowledge 𝘢𝘭𝘭 of our feelings. Rather, many people use black and white thinking. We need 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎.
Something else that might help too is seeking professional help for mental health. Therapists work to help people!
I'd encourage you to explore counseling through your school, or finding therapists near you. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can reach out to your parents or trusted adults for advice on finding therapy.
Remember: you are not attention seeking or bad for wanting help. You are support seeking. You deserve to feel better.
Here's a list of free resources to take a look at:
https://bfpnola.notion.site/bfpnola/Mental-Health-Resources-705026c915ab46f5bccdfbdac32d42bf
And if you're looking for support from other teens, I recommend checking out Livewell:
https://www.livewell-foundation.org/teens
Sending you (so much) support & encouragement with holding space for your mind/feelings :)
Krishna Kant Singh Bundela
Actor
2
Answers
Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Updated
Krishna Kant’s Answer
Very first you have to have command on ur thoughts. For that just sit idle silently in your room. Close your eyes for 20 min. And try to observe what thoughts are coming and going....Observe first. When U become a good observer in few days, you will grow a quality to analyse its root. And then the very first stage of thought ,that is root is known to you . And easily then u can have command on it. And change it.
Atul Bhankharia
Sales
477
Answers
Mount Laurel, New Jersey
Updated
Atul’s Answer
Don't let others' opinions dictate how you live your life; instead, embrace your own path. Be confident in your abilities and adopt a "can-do" or "I don't care" mindset when needed. I used to struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem, but now that I'm retired, I can reflect on my growth.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who love you for who you are. These people helped me build my self-confidence and self-awareness, allowing me to achieve my version of the American dream. When I first arrived in this country (40 years ago), I didn't even speak English, so you can imagine how self-conscious I felt.
Practice 10 minutes of daily meditation to remind yourself of your worth and abilities. Ignore those who try to bring you down, as their negativity is just background noise. Developing this mindset takes time, but by believing in yourself and maintaining a positive attitude, you'll find success.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who love you for who you are. These people helped me build my self-confidence and self-awareness, allowing me to achieve my version of the American dream. When I first arrived in this country (40 years ago), I didn't even speak English, so you can imagine how self-conscious I felt.
Practice 10 minutes of daily meditation to remind yourself of your worth and abilities. Ignore those who try to bring you down, as their negativity is just background noise. Developing this mindset takes time, but by believing in yourself and maintaining a positive attitude, you'll find success.