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What should I think about as I prepare to meet with a mentor?
I am going to have my first conversation with a mentor soon. How can I prepare? What are tips you have for me? Any and all input is welcome to help me make the most of this exciting opportunity. This will be a short term relationship by the way, I might only have one opportunity to talk to this mentor.
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9 answers
Updated
Doc’s Answer
Rebecca before you get started, you and your mentor should set up some ground rules and establish a big picture goal and outcome for your sessions. This goal should be decided together to ensure you’re both on the same page. If you’re going to be working with a mentor long term, set a few smaller goals along the way. This gives you something to work towards and helps keep sessions on track and focused. Without a goal, you won’t know how much progress you’re making, and you may feel like you aren’t getting enough out of your mentor relationship.
Your mentor is there to help you, and they truly have your best interests at heart. Be 100% honest and 100% open to feedback. You should feel comfortable enough to fully open up and not hold anything back with them. Inhibitions have no place in a mentor discussion. Remember, they are not judging you. If you hold back your thoughts and feelings when talking to them, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
Be honest with your questions as well as any information you share. If you want something, ask for it and don’t beat around the bush hoping your mentor will pick up on your hints. This will be frustrating for the both of you. Share your thoughts fully and don’t leave out details. Give them the full picture of your challenges, needs, goals, and accomplishments so they can understand how to best help you.
Remember, your mentor is there to help you succeed. This may mean that they have to give you some tough love or advice that’s hard to hear. Be gracious and know that they are doing this to help you! It’s not easy to receive criticism, but coming from a mentor it’s meant entirely to help you accomplish your goals.
Hope this is helpful Rebecca
Your mentor is there to help you, and they truly have your best interests at heart. Be 100% honest and 100% open to feedback. You should feel comfortable enough to fully open up and not hold anything back with them. Inhibitions have no place in a mentor discussion. Remember, they are not judging you. If you hold back your thoughts and feelings when talking to them, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
Be honest with your questions as well as any information you share. If you want something, ask for it and don’t beat around the bush hoping your mentor will pick up on your hints. This will be frustrating for the both of you. Share your thoughts fully and don’t leave out details. Give them the full picture of your challenges, needs, goals, and accomplishments so they can understand how to best help you.
Remember, your mentor is there to help you succeed. This may mean that they have to give you some tough love or advice that’s hard to hear. Be gracious and know that they are doing this to help you! It’s not easy to receive criticism, but coming from a mentor it’s meant entirely to help you accomplish your goals.
Hope this is helpful Rebecca
Thank you! Any tips for if the mentor relationship is more short-term? I think I might only have one conversation with this mentor.
Rebecca
Your Welcome Rebecca,
To get the most out of your mentorship session, ask follow-up questions and take notes to help you digest advice.
Doc Frick
AWESOME. Thanks Doc!
Rebecca
Agree 💯 about taking notes and asking follow up questions
Diya Dwarakanath
Updated
Heidi’s Answer
I consistently advise that you arrive ready and equipped. What prompted you to seek guidance from this mentor? How can they assist you? Understand who they are - have you kept track of their social presence and/or researched their credentials? Do you have a couple of well-thought-out questions at hand to ask them? While at times, the discussion might unfold naturally, there are instances when it requires a boost. Being armed with questions is crucial for the conversation to be meaningful for both you and your mentor.
I always encourage mentees to conclude their conversations by posing these two inquiries: 1. Who do you admire or look up to (be it an influencer or a thought leader)? and 2. Could you suggest another individual for me to converse with and/or potentially request to be my mentor?
I trust this guidance proves beneficial!
I always encourage mentees to conclude their conversations by posing these two inquiries: 1. Who do you admire or look up to (be it an influencer or a thought leader)? and 2. Could you suggest another individual for me to converse with and/or potentially request to be my mentor?
I trust this guidance proves beneficial!
Updated
Tajas’s Answer
Hello,
Imagine you have a single chance to converse with this mentor. Reflect on what drew you to choose them as your guide. What qualities in them sparked the belief that they could be an excellent mentor for you? Once you've identified these elements, consider the most crucial trait or lesson from your previous answers that you aspire to embody. This should be the core topic of your discussion, in my view. It's an opportunity to grow and learn, so seize it with enthusiasm!
Imagine you have a single chance to converse with this mentor. Reflect on what drew you to choose them as your guide. What qualities in them sparked the belief that they could be an excellent mentor for you? Once you've identified these elements, consider the most crucial trait or lesson from your previous answers that you aspire to embody. This should be the core topic of your discussion, in my view. It's an opportunity to grow and learn, so seize it with enthusiasm!
Updated
Jerome’s Answer
"This session will be successful if we (fill in the blank)". Have a goal for the overall mentorship and for the time you have together each week. Sometimes that can simply be to disconnect and talk about life while other times it could mean working through a school project.
If you have someone mentoring you, they are willing to invest in your success. By going into it with a plan and showing that the investment is being taken seriously, that will go a long way for both of you.
If you have someone mentoring you, they are willing to invest in your success. By going into it with a plan and showing that the investment is being taken seriously, that will go a long way for both of you.
Updated
Deborah’s Answer
Great question! Getting to meet with a mentor can be a life changing experience! There must be a reason you signed up to meet with one, correct? Are you looking for career advice, how to solve a particular problem, or just want to make sure your education is on the right track? Perhaps your mentor will have something in particular they want to discuss....in any case, ask what the goal of the session is within the first few minutes...that way, you both can be on the same page. Good luck!
Updated
Kevin P’s Answer
Rebecca, I’ve had mentors and I’ve been a mentor. Some consider me a mentor and they are smarter and wiser than I am. I would highly recommend to not make this a one time thing. The on going guidance that a mentor can provide is sometimes the best part of the mentorship.
I’ve given advice, the individual tried to implement it, and then we met again to discuss what happened and if it went well or did not go well.
These relationships can often evolve over the course of years.
My recommendation when talking to mentor have an understanding of what you’d like to mentored on. Whether it’s life, work, career, money, happiness, relationships. It’s difficult for one mentor to be great at everything. So come with 3-5 questions to help you narrow down the conversation. Normally the mentor will do more of the talking. They are the ones sharing their knowledge or experience afterall.
However, be open to them asking you questions. This for two reasons, one, they want to expand your train of thought. And two, they truly care to know what you have to say.
Don’t be afraid to answer the question. I’ve seen that too many times. Neither of you deserve that. It’s still just a conversation after all.
The questions you decide should be focused on what you believe they can help you with. It might be their background, their successes, their failures, what they wish they knew at your age. Anything. But be prepared to follow up with another question. The goal is not to get through all 3-5 questions the goal is to leave with a renewed sense of purpose and guidance.
Hope this helps! Best of luck!
I’ve given advice, the individual tried to implement it, and then we met again to discuss what happened and if it went well or did not go well.
These relationships can often evolve over the course of years.
My recommendation when talking to mentor have an understanding of what you’d like to mentored on. Whether it’s life, work, career, money, happiness, relationships. It’s difficult for one mentor to be great at everything. So come with 3-5 questions to help you narrow down the conversation. Normally the mentor will do more of the talking. They are the ones sharing their knowledge or experience afterall.
However, be open to them asking you questions. This for two reasons, one, they want to expand your train of thought. And two, they truly care to know what you have to say.
Don’t be afraid to answer the question. I’ve seen that too many times. Neither of you deserve that. It’s still just a conversation after all.
The questions you decide should be focused on what you believe they can help you with. It might be their background, their successes, their failures, what they wish they knew at your age. Anything. But be prepared to follow up with another question. The goal is not to get through all 3-5 questions the goal is to leave with a renewed sense of purpose and guidance.
Hope this helps! Best of luck!
Updated
Ingrid’s Answer
It's crucial that you research your assigned mentor and identify shared interests to tailor your questions. I suggest you read Pat Mitchell's book, particularly her chapter on mentorship. It provides insights into her expectations and hopes from the mentorship relationship.
Read Pat Mitchell´s book.
Conduct research on the mentor.
Find out if the mentor is open to help you network with people you need to meet in your career.
Ingrid recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Diya’s Answer
Hi Rebecca!
That’s exciting indeed. Having a mentor is a great step you’ve taken in your career.
My advice for you is to be proactive with your mentoring relationship, just like you’re doing by asking this question.
To prepare, I would:
1. Your mentor will want to get to know you so be ready to talk a little about yourself - your goals, interests, hobbies, and why you wanted a mentor.
2. Come up with 1-3 questions to ask in this first meeting. One simple one is to ask your mentor about their career journey. Another is what keeps them motivated daily or in this role etc.
3. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to get out of this mentoring relationship? Another question your mentor may ask you too. It can be specific advice, or how to grow, or overcoming challenges etc.
3. Think about what days and times may work best for you to meet on a regular basis. During the meeting, talk to your mentor and decide a cadence for how often to meet. The exact day and time might need to be decided over email but it’s easier if you’ve planned things in person first.
Advice for you:
Keep in mind that not all mentors know how to be a mentor. So go in with an open mind and see how your mentor is. If they come prepared, great! If they don’t, but lead the conversation, also great! If they’re unsure, then don’t hesitate to suggest next steps or continue the discussion. Your preparation will help you.
Also, Get to know your mentor and their personality over time. Build the relationship now even if you don’t need any help. When you do need help, your relationship will
already be built, making it easier to reach out.
Mentoring is usually a longer term relationship and you can discuss mundane stuff too.
If it’s short term and you might only meet once, then be extra clear what your goal is and what you want to get out of that session. Write down goals & questions. Communicate your goal for the session to your mentor after introductions. Also see if they’re willing to stay in touch informally beyond the one session. If not, is there someone they recommend and can they introduce you?
Have fun with it! Good luck 👍🏽
That’s exciting indeed. Having a mentor is a great step you’ve taken in your career.
My advice for you is to be proactive with your mentoring relationship, just like you’re doing by asking this question.
To prepare, I would:
1. Your mentor will want to get to know you so be ready to talk a little about yourself - your goals, interests, hobbies, and why you wanted a mentor.
2. Come up with 1-3 questions to ask in this first meeting. One simple one is to ask your mentor about their career journey. Another is what keeps them motivated daily or in this role etc.
3. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to get out of this mentoring relationship? Another question your mentor may ask you too. It can be specific advice, or how to grow, or overcoming challenges etc.
3. Think about what days and times may work best for you to meet on a regular basis. During the meeting, talk to your mentor and decide a cadence for how often to meet. The exact day and time might need to be decided over email but it’s easier if you’ve planned things in person first.
Advice for you:
Keep in mind that not all mentors know how to be a mentor. So go in with an open mind and see how your mentor is. If they come prepared, great! If they don’t, but lead the conversation, also great! If they’re unsure, then don’t hesitate to suggest next steps or continue the discussion. Your preparation will help you.
Also, Get to know your mentor and their personality over time. Build the relationship now even if you don’t need any help. When you do need help, your relationship will
already be built, making it easier to reach out.
Mentoring is usually a longer term relationship and you can discuss mundane stuff too.
If it’s short term and you might only meet once, then be extra clear what your goal is and what you want to get out of that session. Write down goals & questions. Communicate your goal for the session to your mentor after introductions. Also see if they’re willing to stay in touch informally beyond the one session. If not, is there someone they recommend and can they introduce you?
Have fun with it! Good luck 👍🏽
Thank you so much, this is so helpful!
Rebecca
My pleasure, I’m glad!
Diya Dwarakanath
I saw your update that it’s possibly a one time meeting. I’ve updated my answer too
Diya Dwarakanath
Updated
Raya’s Answer
This is Great Rebecca.
Having a well-experienced and professional mentor is a great opportunity to learn and improve. My advice to you is to set a goal for the mentorship; the "why" is very important here as well as the "how".
T prepare for your first meeting, set your own goals to agree on with your mentor and make sure to get the proper direction on how to reach to your goal. Whatever comes in between, this will be your learning journey.
Please remember that your mentor will offer you guidance & knowledge to reach a certain goal but the main work relies on you to explore the way and gain the required experience as you work towards your goal.
Having a well-experienced and professional mentor is a great opportunity to learn and improve. My advice to you is to set a goal for the mentorship; the "why" is very important here as well as the "how".
T prepare for your first meeting, set your own goals to agree on with your mentor and make sure to get the proper direction on how to reach to your goal. Whatever comes in between, this will be your learning journey.
Please remember that your mentor will offer you guidance & knowledge to reach a certain goal but the main work relies on you to explore the way and gain the required experience as you work towards your goal.