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How can I deal with an annoying dormmate?

I'm afraid I'll be matched with someone really annoying in college. Will there be opportunity to switch rooms? What other ways could I manage this situation?

#college #relationships #college-bound ##college

college-bound relationships
Thank you comment icon That's all about part of the college experience. The first semester of college I had a really bad dorm mate that would constantly stay up late at night, play music, etc. He never went to class. It almost seemed like he never left the room, not even to shower. He eventually flunked out after 1 semester. The next roommate I got was much better and we are still friends to this day. You can probably switch rooms after long enough, but i would encourage you to develop the ability to communicate and compromise with your roommate if you have any issues first. Its a great life skill to have in general because there are going to be a lot of times in life where you are forced to cooperate with someone that you might not see eye to eye with. Nicholas
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Ashley’s Answer

First, I want to put you at ease that the opposite can happen. My dormmate that I was paired with my freshman year of college turned into one of my very best friends. Second, we lived with another girl during our sophomore year; a good friend of ours that lived next to us the previous year. To us, she was the annoying dormmate that you are mentioning and we already knew her! Sometimes it takes living with someone to learn their annoying habits. We could have swapped if someone else agreed to swap with us. Instead we tried to talk to her about it. When it did not get better, my other dormmate and I strategized how we could avoid the annoying habits. For instance, we agreed that the habits were most annoying when we were trying to study so we studied elsewhere.
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Lori’s Answer

I will echo Nicholas’s comment above! Sometimes it can help to view an annoying dormmate like a practice run for the workplace. Someday you’ll end up with a coworker that drives you a bit crazy, but you’ll still need to work with them.

For a dormmate, your best bet is to work on open communication and try to have open dialogue with them - like setting some key guidelines about quiet hours or whether you can have friends over, etc. They won’t know if they are driving you nuts if you don’t at least try to talk to them about it first. Plus it’s common courtesy and I would imagine you would want the same in return - you never know if you’re the annoying roommate because you have some quirky habits. I think for most people it’s a big growth opportunity because they have never lived with anyone other than family before and we all get pretty comfortable in our routines and habits.

With any conflict management, it’s always a great idea to assume good intent as well. If they’re doing something you don’t understand - ask!

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Serge V.’s Answer

Hi Abby,



I'm sorry I can't give you advice on this post because I never lived with a person while I was in college. If I was in your position, I would agree on certain standards when you first move in. That's the best advice I can give you.



Serge
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Kathy’s Answer

Hi there!

I've moved three different times during my first year of college, have lived with ALL kinds of people (gender, race, age, personalities, etc.), so my best piece of advice is:

- Set boundaries, and set them early. If you are someone who prefers to share certain things and not others, specify that. Communication is SUPER important because not everyone may have the same boundaries as you!

- Decide what kind of relationship you want to have with them. Will you be friends, or strictly roommates? Friendships can be a little trickier, since things can get more personal in my opinion. Roommate relationships are slightly easier to navigate because if you guys have an issue, it won't necessarily destroy a friendship.

Good luck! Many things you learn to navigate along the way.
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Sanjana "Sonny"’s Answer

The good thing about college is that you don't answer to anyone and you make your own schedule! If you don't click with your roommate or find them annoying/irritating, it's surprisingly easy to get caught up in other stuff. You can hang out in the lounge, study in a library or cafe, and go out more – which will help you meet other people you might get along with! Worst case, if you feel that your roommate makes you really uncomfortable, you can request to switch rooms/buildings.
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