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How do you find friends who will be a good influence on you in high school?
I know a lot of people at my school and I'm unsure of how to weed out the ones who won't be great influences on me down the road. And once I figure out which ones I want to keep as friends, how do I respectfully distance myself from the ones I don't want to be friends with? Or should I try to be friends with everyone?
My strategy right now is if they don't have some kind of rational plan for the future and what they want to do in life, then I probably shouldn't be friends with someone. What I define as a "plan" is an idea of what they want to do when they graduate, or at least a college they would like to go to, and good grades at the bare minimum.
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Sarah’s Answer
I think it's great that you are concerned about who you associate with, and it is important to surround yourself with the right people. With that being said I don't think choosing friends should be based on whether or not they have a specific goal after high school or because of the grades they get. When I was in high school I didn't want to go to college and in fact, I didn't and I never got really good grades. I wasn't interested in college until later on in life and I am now a successful interior designer. College isn't always for everybody and just because somebody doesn't have their future planned out doesn't make them a bad person or influence. Many factors should play into deciding who you want to surround yourself with. Look for people with the same interests as you or maybe reach out to the kids at school who don't have many friends. Choosing friends isn't a job interview it should be people who you have a connection with. Be open-minded and maybe go out of your comfort zone. You can't judge a book by its cover and you might be surprised who becomes one of your best friends. I think anybody would be lucky to have someone like you who does care so much as a friend
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Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Lily !
I would like to give you advice for such a sweet and caring question ! I am so touched that you care that much about your future that you are conscious of the things you do now. You're impressively insightful. And you care about yourself right now which greatly impresses me as being proactive !
There is an easy way to weed the people you've mentioned out. Stay busy. If they want you to party in their way and you think it's not for you, tell them you're busy and can't go. Trust me, I have done this thousands of times as a teen. Involve yourself in healthy, progressive activities with like-minded friends and relatives, ones that will accept you for who you are and relationships that are mutually supportive. What you do now will greatly affect your future adult life.
Now, the reason you give for wanting to weed people out has me curious. Not everyone who doesn't know what they want to do in the future is a bad person. Future goals come to people at different times in their life. My advice would be more accurate if you could describe the characteristics of these people that you don't prefer. I would base it on your value system more than them not knowing what they want as a career. Some lovely individuals never go to college and some become parents and homemakers, too. But in general, you will want to lead these teen years in a safe and healthy manner and associate with people who will enable that.
Finding friends that are a good influence is just hit and miss. What you can do is increase your social activity around things that you are interested in. Friends that you can have fun with, not worry about. As a teenager it is very important to establish your personal philosophy, discover the things and people that make you happy and build upon that as you get older.
I hope that this was a bit of a help and I wish you all the best as you move forward !
I would like to give you advice for such a sweet and caring question ! I am so touched that you care that much about your future that you are conscious of the things you do now. You're impressively insightful. And you care about yourself right now which greatly impresses me as being proactive !
There is an easy way to weed the people you've mentioned out. Stay busy. If they want you to party in their way and you think it's not for you, tell them you're busy and can't go. Trust me, I have done this thousands of times as a teen. Involve yourself in healthy, progressive activities with like-minded friends and relatives, ones that will accept you for who you are and relationships that are mutually supportive. What you do now will greatly affect your future adult life.
Now, the reason you give for wanting to weed people out has me curious. Not everyone who doesn't know what they want to do in the future is a bad person. Future goals come to people at different times in their life. My advice would be more accurate if you could describe the characteristics of these people that you don't prefer. I would base it on your value system more than them not knowing what they want as a career. Some lovely individuals never go to college and some become parents and homemakers, too. But in general, you will want to lead these teen years in a safe and healthy manner and associate with people who will enable that.
Finding friends that are a good influence is just hit and miss. What you can do is increase your social activity around things that you are interested in. Friends that you can have fun with, not worry about. As a teenager it is very important to establish your personal philosophy, discover the things and people that make you happy and build upon that as you get older.
I hope that this was a bit of a help and I wish you all the best as you move forward !
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
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James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Lily!
Finding Friends Who Will Be a Good Influence in High School
Finding friends who will be a good influence on you in high school is an important aspect of personal growth and development. It is crucial to surround yourself with positive and supportive people who share your values and goals. The following are some strategies to help you identify and connect with friends who will have a positive impact on your life:
Assess your current friendships: Take a step back and evaluate your current friendships. Consider if these friends are supportive, encouraging, and share similar goals and values. If not, it may be time to distance yourself from them and seek out new connections.
Engage in extracurricular activities: Joining clubs, sports teams, or other extracurricular activities is a great way to meet new people who share your interests. This environment can help you find like-minded friends who will be a positive influence on your life.
Attend school events: Participating in school events, such as dances, games, or other social gatherings, can help you meet new people and form friendships. Attending these events allows you to interact with a broader range of students and find those who align with your values and goals.
Be open-minded: Keep an open mind when meeting new people, as you may find that someone who initially seems different from you can still be a good friend. It’s important to give everyone a chance and be open to new friendships.
Set boundaries: If you find that certain friendships are not providing a positive influence, it’s important to set boundaries and distance yourself from these individuals. This can be done respectfully and professionally, ensuring that both parties can maintain their dignity and respect for one another.
In summary, finding friends who will be a good influence on you in high school involves assessing your current friendships, engaging in extracurricular activities, attending school events, being open-minded, and setting boundaries when necessary.
Authoritative Reference Titles:
The Art of Building Meaningful Relationships: How to Connect with Others and Enhance Your Life by Dr. Kevin Leman
The Power of Positive Relationships: A Guide to Building a Happy and Successful Life by Dr. John Gottman
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
GOD BLESS YOU,
James Constantine Frangos.
Finding Friends Who Will Be a Good Influence in High School
Finding friends who will be a good influence on you in high school is an important aspect of personal growth and development. It is crucial to surround yourself with positive and supportive people who share your values and goals. The following are some strategies to help you identify and connect with friends who will have a positive impact on your life:
Assess your current friendships: Take a step back and evaluate your current friendships. Consider if these friends are supportive, encouraging, and share similar goals and values. If not, it may be time to distance yourself from them and seek out new connections.
Engage in extracurricular activities: Joining clubs, sports teams, or other extracurricular activities is a great way to meet new people who share your interests. This environment can help you find like-minded friends who will be a positive influence on your life.
Attend school events: Participating in school events, such as dances, games, or other social gatherings, can help you meet new people and form friendships. Attending these events allows you to interact with a broader range of students and find those who align with your values and goals.
Be open-minded: Keep an open mind when meeting new people, as you may find that someone who initially seems different from you can still be a good friend. It’s important to give everyone a chance and be open to new friendships.
Set boundaries: If you find that certain friendships are not providing a positive influence, it’s important to set boundaries and distance yourself from these individuals. This can be done respectfully and professionally, ensuring that both parties can maintain their dignity and respect for one another.
In summary, finding friends who will be a good influence on you in high school involves assessing your current friendships, engaging in extracurricular activities, attending school events, being open-minded, and setting boundaries when necessary.
Authoritative Reference Titles:
The Art of Building Meaningful Relationships: How to Connect with Others and Enhance Your Life by Dr. Kevin Leman
The Power of Positive Relationships: A Guide to Building a Happy and Successful Life by Dr. John Gottman
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
GOD BLESS YOU,
James Constantine Frangos.
Thank you so much for the advice! I will look into your autobiography!
Lily
Paul Goetzinger MPA
Academic and Career Consultant and Freelance Writer
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Paul’s Answer
I agree with the answers submitted.
Look to associate with people who share the same core values as yourself.
Let go of those who bully, abuse, and are heading towards legal problems.
Look to associate with people who share the same core values as yourself.
Let go of those who bully, abuse, and are heading towards legal problems.
Thank you!
Lily
Updated
Ezra’s Answer
Hello,
Great question, I wish I was this self-aware in school. It may not be as easy as it seems to have a plan and follow it through. It sounds like you are aware of what you are comfortable with and don't ever starry away from that. Don't let anyone peer pressure you into something you don't want to do. With saying no there will be drawbacks, people will judge and make fun of you for not doing what they think is cool. You will know you have good friends when they show they care for you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
Great question, I wish I was this self-aware in school. It may not be as easy as it seems to have a plan and follow it through. It sounds like you are aware of what you are comfortable with and don't ever starry away from that. Don't let anyone peer pressure you into something you don't want to do. With saying no there will be drawbacks, people will judge and make fun of you for not doing what they think is cool. You will know you have good friends when they show they care for you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
Thanks for the advice and support!
Lily