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What is the best way to become friends with my college roomate?

I`m heading of to college soon and I don`t know what she`ll be like. It makes me a bit nervous that she`s a stranger to me, because what if its hard to become friends with her or we end up not liking each other. #roommates (new) #college #dorm-life

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Briana’s Answer

Go to welcome week events!! Go to dorm meetings, any virtual activity that is going on I would attend it. Always remember that there are people just as nervous as you are, and just be yourself.

I personally knocked on doors on my hall and introduced myself and I have the best friends ever from being that bold. My neighbor across from me has me as the maid of honor in her wedding and I would have probably never been as close to her had I not took a chance on making friends.
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Daniela’s Answer

Hi Jasmine,


In order to put your best foot forward and increase your happiness in the first months of college, read on to find our top three most essential tips for getting along with your roommate:


https://www.bestchoiceschools.com/faq/how-do-i-make-sure-i-get-along-with-a-new-roommate/

Daniela recommends the following next steps:

Facilitate Open Communication One of the key factors required to build a successful relationship within the small spaces of dorm rooms is open roommate communication. Do not shy away from taking to your roommate and having important conversations simply because you are afraid to hurt their feelings or create an awkward atmosphere. Whenever your roommate does something inappropriate or breaks a rule, let them know immediately. If you let problems pile up and ruminate without properly addressing them with a little chitchat, then the relationship will begin to sour. Make certain that you always remain open to communication and address any conflicts to defuse them quickly as a team.
Establish Clear Rules and Boundaries Once you get your room settled, it is recommended that you sit down with your roommate to create a clear set of rules and boundaries. Do not be afraid to simply ask what his or her needs are and share your requirements in a living arrangement too. Although you definitely want to avoid coming off as bossy, you should calmly describe your ideal living environment while politely listening to your new roommate’s needs. Since waiting to have this talk later in the semester will provide the opportunity for conflict from clashing lifestyles, it is essential to get this out of the way the first week for creating a comfortable vibe.
Make a Good First Impression Like it or not, humans are hard-wired to make immediate judgments about a person within the first few seconds of meeting them. Therefore, whatever impression you give of yourself when meeting up with your new roommate the first time is likely to stick with them for the long haul. In order to display yourself in a positive light, make sure you are as amiable, open-minded, and friendly as possible the first day, even if you are exhausted from the move in. Beyond making plenty of eye contact and using all of your manners, be sure you show a significant interest in getting to know more about your new roommate. If he or she likes you from the start, there will be a higher likelihood that your roommate will respect your needs.
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Cynthia’s Answer

I completely agree with Kristi. Sometimes, dormmates aren't friends.

However, here are some tips and tricks to get to know your roommate better!
-Play board games or video games together
-Ask to go to school events with you (this is how I got my first dorm mate to become my friend!)
-Ask to study together

If your roommate is completely not interested, then that is completely okay. Just make sure your boundaries are set on the first few days you guys meet! And if it totally goes awry, then talk to your RA. They are there to help and can possibly transfer you to another room if things cannot be fixed.

I hope this helps.
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Kristi’s Answer

Don't put too much pressure on becoming friends. Sure, it would be nice if you two hit it off and would hang out and enjoy each other's company, but you don't have to. Be yourself and you hope they do as well. Be respectful of their space and most likely they will too. If you're kind and yourself to them, then you shouldn't have an issue. Worst case if you have an issue, there are plenty of other things to do and places to study on campus than hang out in your room.
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Yasemin’s Answer

Hi Jasmine ! I think any way to make friends in college is common points, I met one of my best friends in my chemistry class! We would study and got to know each other well. I think see if you have anything in common, maybe classes, hobbies, majors? It takes time and I know it can be important to make good friends with your roommates so definitely try to make conversation! I think everyone is nervous and definitely wants to get along with their roommate but if things don't go well that's okay, there is much more room to meet other people and dorms change all the time!

I wish you the best!
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Luis V.’s Answer

Relationships with your roommate is something that it will shape who you are as a person and will demonstrate and prove yourself your social skills, we learn to that from a young age if you have any siblings. Think back and and use all your experiences with different relationships you have dealt with the past, everything that happens in our life is a guidance and learning experience for the future. Meaning this college roommate experience it will also help you for the future, you are about to create memories and life experiences that it will shape who ypu are to something else and bigger. Don't think negative because you don't know what to expect in the contrary take that to your advantage, not knowing what to expect can be exciting and will give you the opportunity to meet someone new that can become your best friend for a lifetime. Now, also think of your purpose and what you have to accomplish going to college , is not only to create memories and weather you will like your roommate or not, you are just going to share a living space while you are studying to become a professional in the near future. Hope the best for you.
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Andrea’s Answer

You don't have to become friends with your roommate. That's always a preferred outcome but not mandatory. You MUST be able to share space comfortably with each other. Communication is key! Make sure to allow for time to get to know each other, set some ground rules - like, no loud music after midnight, or don't leave open containers of food around.... - and know what your dealbreakers are. It's a process. Be open. Be flexible. You'll do alright :-)
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Amy’s Answer

While I would love to say that you all will be instant friends, that's often not the case. Focus on being your true self, because when you share a space, you can't keep up a charade forever. Allow her to be herself, as well.

As others have said, communication is the most important thing. Look for common ground, and look for solutions when problems arise. Some great activities to help get the communication ball rolling are:

Play board games!
Decorate ONE shared space entirely together, after you're both there. For example, let's say you share the middle of the dorm room. Set a budget, cut it in half, and go pick the rug or other items together.
Volunteer together!
Create a message board and commit to posting one positive encouraging message to your roommate each week. She writes one for you, and you write one for her.

The most important thing is to communicate. Please remember that she is having the same doubts and anxiety you are, so you already have common ground! You don't have to be quick friends, or lifelong friends. Keep expectations realistic!

Good luck on your upcoming adventure :)
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Karla’s Answer

Hi Jasmine! This is a great question. First thing, it is completely normal to be nervous and hesitant. I would say that you should go into this situation with an open mind and positive outlook. More than likely, your future roommate is just as nervous (if not more) as you are. When you first meet, simply introduce yourself and ask where each other are from. You will most likely begin a natural conversation from there. You two could also talk about upcoming events scheduled for new freshmen and suggest going to a few events together. Lastly, just be yourself. Let things happen naturally. My roommate and I became very close my first year and shared many things in common. Best of luck to you!
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