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how do i manage to choose a career that I want and not what people around me want?

I wish I can choose a career without having to impress people around me especially family and without facing any judgement whatsoever. I am more inclined to venture into the business field.

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Theophilus’s Answer

Hello Liyne,

First of all, I want you to know that your desire to choose a career that is true to who you are is not only valid but also incredibly important. It’s natural to feel pressure from those around us—especially family and friends—when it comes to career decisions, but at the end of the day, the most fulfilling path aligns with your passions, strengths, and values.

Choosing a career is a deeply personal decision. It’s not about impressing others or living up to someone else’s expectations. The key is to follow what excites you, what makes you come alive. If you’re drawn to the world of business, that’s where your energy and focus should go. I am offering business management and Business offers endless opportunities for creativity, leadership, problem-solving, and impact. It’s a field where you can make a difference, whether it’s through entrepreneurship, management, finance, or any number of specialties.

One important lesson I want to share is this: The people who truly care about you will come to understand your decision, even if it doesn’t align with their initial hopes. It’s okay if others don’t see your vision right away—what matters is that you see it, and that you’re willing to pursue it with dedication. Over time, the results of following your passion will speak for themselves.

I also want you to remember that choosing your career is not a single, defining moment. It’s a journey. You’ll learn, grow, and perhaps even change direction as you discover more about yourself and the opportunities that come your way. What’s most important is that you stay true to your core interests and embrace the process of learning and exploration.

Don’t be afraid of judgment. You will find that those who support you will respect your courage to be authentic. Your success and happiness will come from pursuing what fits well with your soul, not from trying to live up to others’ expectations.

Trust yourself and take that bold step into the business world. Believe in your potential to make an impact, and the rest will follow.

We will meet again!
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Twilio’s Answer

You need to be vocal with what you want, don’t let other people degrade you and decide for you. If you don’t speak up, they will think it’s ok for you to dictate you. It’s understandable that they already have the experiences that’s why they are advising you to get/go that certain career so you can take their advice and use it as your base to decide what you want to do with your career but don’t follow exactly what they said if that does not suit your interest and wants. Coming from a family that expects you to have a good career like nurse, doctors, etc. It was definitely a pressure but I spoke up and told them I want to build something for myself, with the skills I have and know.
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Shannon’s Answer

Finding a career that truly resonates with your personal interests and passions, rather than simply meeting others' expectations, might be a bit tough but it's definitely worth it. Here's a friendly guide to help you through this journey:

1. Self-Exploration: Spend some time to really get to know yourself - your likes, strengths, and values. What are the things that you truly enjoy doing?
2. Digging Deep: Delve into different career paths that match your interests. Think about the daily tasks, necessary skills, and growth potential in these areas. Chatting with someone who's already in the field can give you valuable insights and tips that you might not find on the internet.
3. Goal Setting: Picture what success means to you. It could be finding joy in your job, achieving a good work-life balance, securing financial stability, or climbing up the career ladder.
4. Be Authentic: While it's good to listen to others' advice, remember that the final decision is yours to make. Trust your gut feeling and stand by your choices. After all, you're the one who'll be pursuing this career, so it should be something that you truly love.
5. Brace for Challenges: Be ready for any pushback or doubts from others. Having a solid plan and being able to express why you chose a certain career path can help you stay on track.
6. Connect with Others: Surround yourself with people who are supportive and respect your career decisions. Networking can also lead to opportunities that you might not have thought about.

Never forget that it's your life and your career. Choosing a path that aligns with your personal goals and passions will bring you more happiness and success in the long run.
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Rebecca’s Answer

Thank you for your question. You should choose a career you have interest indeed. You are the one who will develop in this career, not others. Firstly, find out the career you have interest.
Below are my suggestions:
1. Think about what you have interest, eg your hobbies, favourite subjects, etc and identify the related careers
If you like music, would you like to be a musician, singer, musical artist, music composer, music producer, etc
If you have interest in maths, would you like to be an accountant, engineer, banker, financial analyst, maths teacher, etc
2. Find out more on these careers and determine what you have interest
3. Speak to someone who are working in these careers. Seek guidance from your mentor and school career counselor,etc
4. Shortlist 1-2 careers you would like to pursue. Have an open discussion with your parents explaining to them why you choose the carers and relevant subjects in colleges
5. Explore the entry criteria of relevant subjects in colleges. Work hard to meet the criteria.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
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Adaobi’s Answer

Finding your own path is crucial. Here's how:

1. **Self-Reflection**: Identify what you're passionate about and where your strengths lie.
2. **Research**: Explore careers that align with your interests and skills.
3. **Set Boundaries**: Communicate your career aspirations clearly to others.
4. **Seek Support**: Find mentors or peers who encourage your choices.
5. **Trust Yourself**: Have confidence in your decisions and commit to your goals.

Remember, it's your life—live it for yourself.
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Adaobi’s Answer

Choosing a career that aligns with your own passions and interests, rather than the expectations of others, can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Here are some steps to help you navigate this process:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to understand your interests, strengths, and values. What activities make you lose track of time? What subjects or tasks do you find most fulfilling?

2. Research: Look into various career options that align with your interests. Consider job descriptions, required skills, potential growth, and work-life balance.

3. Set Goals: Define what success means to you. Is it job satisfaction, financial stability, work-life balance, or something else? Setting clear goals can help you stay focused on what matters most to you.

4. Seek Guidance: Talk to career counselors, mentors, or professionals in fields you're interested in. They can provide valuable insights and advice based on their experiences.

5. Build Skills: Invest in developing the skills needed for your desired career. This could involve taking courses, gaining certifications, or getting hands-on experience through internships or volunteer work.

6. Stay True to Yourself: It's important to listen to advice but ultimately make decisions based on what feels right for you. Remember, it's your career and your life.

7. Communicate: If you're facing pressure from family or friends, have an open and honest conversation with them about your aspirations and why they matter to you. They might not fully understand your perspective initially, but sharing your thoughts can help.

8. Be Patient: Finding the right career path can take time. Be patient with yourself and stay open to exploring different opportunities.

Choosing a career is a significant decision, and it's okay to take your time to find the right path.
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William’s Answer

Hi Liyne -- great question! I resonate with a lot of the advice you have already received. It's important to remember that the career path(s) you choose has a big effect on the people you are surrounded with, the lifestyle you live, and the interests and skills that you develop. If you're going to spend significant chunks of your life devoted to engaging with and understanding xx skillset / environment, the decision you make should come from YOUR priorities more than anyone else's. Have confidence when you talk about the directions you are considering with friends and family, because this is truly your life to live! Wishing you all the best!!!
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Austin’s Answer

It's important to choose a career that makes you happy and fulfills you, regardless of what others think! Whoever you are trying to impress is not nearly important as making sure that you are happy yourself. If you force yourself to do something that you are not passionate about it increases your risk for burn-out which you want to avoid. I know it is difficult to tune out the noise with social media but I would encourage you to pick a career based on your own internal values and interests instead of what other people perceive to be "prestigious" or "impressive". Best of luck!
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Dominik’s Answer

Just like Alec, I want to emphasize that no matter where you begin your career journey, you'll always have plenty of chances to switch or expand on it. Remember, most skills can be applied in different areas, making you a fascinating candidate for your future career. If you bring experience from a unique field or profession, it can make you stand out even more. So, don't worry about starting in the 'right' place, just start somewhere and let your path evolve naturally.
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Juan Diego’s Answer

Hi Liyne! This a great question that has been asked for thousands of years and will continue to be asked. Although it may seem like there is a giant cavern to leap across to follow your own path, know that all it requires is a small step. The path you take is yours alone, and life nor your family determines a right or wrong. Life is full of ups and downs, and the mistakes we to find our way are constant. Its the learning from those mistakes that count. Be patient with your family, and know they will be patient with you. They will support you and be proud of you in whatever you do; do not let what appear to be high expectations blind you from discovering yourself and discovering your path.

If business is the path you want to try and go down - then do it! Also, don't be afraid that you have to make a decision today or tomorrow about how the rest of your life will look. The expectations, aspirations and ambitions that we have for ourselves are what matter the most, and they change as frequently and as drastically as the seasons. What matters however is keeping clear the belief in yourself, when we don't believe in ourselves, then no one will believe in us.
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Alec’s Answer

Hi Linye,
I think it can be helpful to describe to others why you're excited about entering a certain field and why you think you're a good fit for it. If you're able to, it can also be useful to hear others' view on why they may think some different. Rather than focusing on the outcomes (salary, prestige, etc.) of the paths, highlighting your view of them can be a good reminder for yourself and those you're talking to that this is a decision you're making for yourself, rather than for them/the broader world's view.
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Milena’s Answer

By telling them that is your career, not theirs. One day, if you make any mistake, the only person you could posibly blame is you, and not them. And you will know how to cope with that, believe me. You will find your solution and your way 😉 Good luck!
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Isaiah’s Answer

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to have the conversation with your family. When you are younger these things seem like much heavier topics and I know some families and parents put pressure on their children to take certain paths, at the end of the day it matters if you are happy with your choice. Your career is something you will be doing for a good portion of your life, it makes that time much easier if you are interested and enjoy your career as much as possible.
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Chris’s Answer

Hi, Liyne--
I agree with what Milena and Isaiah have shared so far: That this is your career and you will be responsible for it many years into the future, so having a thoughtful and respectful conversation with your family about what you are passionate about--and why!--will be really important. I just wanted to add one more thing: Your question mentioned feeling pressure and that you don't want to face any judgement whatsoever. I'm guessing it's not only your family you're thinking about, but maybe also friends, teachers, and other people in the world.
The truth is you'll have to face judgement about many decisions all throughout your life. Some people will keep their opinions to themselves, but some will feel like it's important to share those opinions with you--whether you asked for them or not! So I'll tell you something I learned from back in college that still serves me today:
Start by listening. You never know who might have an unexpected good idea or good advice. BUT, after you've done all that listening, remember, you're the only one who gets to decide what advice to act on, and how you'll act on it! If you know what your goal is and the path you want to take to get there, then you can let the judgements and unwanted opinions bounce off. Let them judge, your confidence is your shield. :)
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Jeff’s Answer

Hi, Linye. This is a great question, and it suggests someday somebody will be very lucky to have you as an employee. I don't know how old you are or how close you are to graduation from high school, but first, I would suggest talking to your high school guidance counselor about colleges, community colleges and technical colleges in your area. I see you are in Alabama New York. Close to you is Genesee Community College. They should have career counselors there that can be very helpful to someone like you and are impartial. They will take the time to understand you, what you were hoping to do and a good way to get there.

Jeff recommends the following next steps:

Reach out your high school guidance counselor
Give Genesee Community College a call and tell them that you are interested in exploring some paths they might have to a career. (585) 343-0055
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Emma’s Answer

I struggled with this myself! It can be incredibly difficult and you are definitely not alone. You have to remember that at the end of the day it is your life. You will have to live with the consequences of the life you choose, not your parents, neighbors, friends, or anyone else pushing you to pursue any given career. You will be happiest and most successful if you choose something that interests you. What interests you also may change overtime and that's ok! Be open to new opportunities!
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Valeria’s Answer

Hello Liyne! Deciding on a career path can be challenging, particularly when there's pressure from family. However, always keep in mind that it's your life, and you're the one who will be living out the career you choose. It can be difficult to devote your whole career to something you're not passionate about. If the business world sparks your interest, start devising a strategy. This could include investigating different sectors, reaching out to professionals in the area of your interest for guidance, and pursuing relevant studies, to help you suceed!
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Ogulcan’s Answer

Feel free to try different jobs in different sectors. You may understand what interests you and what not. Please don't see this as a waste of time. Understanding your desires is more important
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Mian’s Answer

Picking a career can be difficult task. I have switch careers now three times and every time it was very difficult decision. Some of the lessons that I learned are that you have to be clear in your own mind what you want to do and how this helps you in your longer term financial goals. Then no matter what anyone else can tell you, you will be able to answer that questions very confidently.

1. Think about you short and long term goals financially. Think about the lifestyle you want to live and what you can do to get there. If what you want to do will help you get there then break down this logic for other around you that ask. For example if you have a goal of living in a 4000 sqft house in a very nice area and take 2-3 vacations a year and have children on day that is a very expensive lifestyle. It would mean that you have work a lot to achieve it and might mean what you want to do may not get you there. However if you can find a balance between your lifestyle, financial goals, and passion for what you love then you will have a clear story of what you need to do.

2. Don't walk this path alone. There tons of people that can help you figure this out. To figure our your lifestyle and goals talk to your parents, relatives, friends, teachers about their mindset, life thus far and future goals. This will help guide your thinking

3. For what specific career to pick talk to a academic advisor or guidance councilor at your school/university, Also talk to everyone around you (e.g., friends, family, relatives). When ever you get the answer of "it makes a lot of money" as follow up questions about lifestyle and what you will be able to do. If you become a Wall Street Banker you will have all the money in the world but very little time through out your 20s and 30s. Which is not in it self a bad thing but if that prevents your from your other goals than probably not a good career. If you want become a doctor you will work like crazy if your 20s but depending on what specialty you choose you might get a lot of flexibility to do what ever you want later. The answer is not become a doctor but find a path that lets you achieve your financial goals and also balance your lifestyle.

The last thing is not career journey is a straight line to success, so dont feel anxious or through it alone. Keep your family close to your process.
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Julia’s Answer

Great question! I always encourage people to think about your working style and what really makes you tick. While it may seem like it doesn't make a difference, it can have a big impact on your day to day happiness. Once you have these figured out, you can pick the industry/role that seems like the best fit. Remember that some of the roles that may be the best fit require schooling and plan accordingly.
Do you enjoy working closely with others, talking through your ideas and problem solving collectively in a group?
Do you enjoy working heads down really diving into particular topics?
Do you like working in an area where the correct answer can be ambiguous (e.g. design) or precise (e.g. engineering)?
Do you enjoy being in a position where you are catering to a client or customer?
Do you like to jump around and explore lots of different topics or do you like to dive deep on one area of expertise?
How flexible are you with your lifestyle (e.g. do you want a strict 9-5 or are you OK working longer hours, are you OK with travel)?
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Zsigmond’s Answer

Sounds like you'd need to be able to do 2 things for that:
1. Know what you want out of your career
2. Know how to manage the expectations, worries and potential disapproval from those that are close to you when pursuing what you want

n2 is a lifelong journey, but knowing what you want and having clear, well articulated reasons for wanting it will help with it, so I'd focus on n1 for now.

There's an interesting book from 2 professors from the Sandford Design school called 'Designing your Life' that's essentially about applying design thinking principles to your (work) life. It's an easy read, and while it's targeted more towards mid-career people, the principles and strategies can be applied early on as well to figure out what type of job it might be worth for you to pursue. See here: https://a.co/d/eTm4MrW
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Abhay’s Answer

Hello Liyne - really good question. I completely understand where you're coming from; my family was actually quite keen on me becoming a doctor! The best advice I've received from a mentor was that "horses run their races with blinders on for a reason." While it's important to get advice from people you trust, at the end of the day, your race is yours to run. What I learned from my family was that they in fact did not mind my going into business - what matters is giving 100% in what you choose to do. I'd recommend exploring different sectors of business (marketing, logistics, finance, etc) and reaching out to professionals in these areas for guidance. Keep pushing!
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Ine’s Answer

Selecting a career is a deeply personal choice that should mirror your interests and abilities. Concentrate on what sparks joy in you and matches your aspirations. Boldly share your decision with your family, highlighting how it will boost your happiness and prosperity. Remember, it's your life, and your satisfaction is paramount. Always be authentic to who you are.
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Camila’s Answer

That's a great question and a great opportunity to learn to set boundaries early on! At the end of the day, it's YOUR career which will impact YOUR life so the decision should come down to YOU. It is valid for family, friends, teachers, etc who care about you to give you advice. However, the career path you choose can have an impact on so many aspects beyond just the job you do and how it affects your finances - think about the people you'll meet, the friends you'll make, the other opportunities it could open you up to, and the fact that a lot of people meet their partner at work! And let's not forget how much of your life will be dedicated to your job... wanting to please those around you will only take you so far and you don't want to find yourself 10-20 years down the line being miserable with the life you live because it was built based on what other people wanted.

Camila recommends the following next steps:

Take some time to gather your thoughts and articulate why you want the career you want
Look up how to set healthy boundaries, especially with family members (lots of help available online!)
Plan to have a discussion with the individuals that may be putting pressure on you. Articulate kindly, but clearly your thoughts and wants
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Nick’s Answer

Such a great question! Believe it or not, you should be grateful others around you care enough to opine on your career. You should smile and welcome all the advice others give you, keep it organized using whatever mechanism works best (e.g., notebook, spreadsheet, etc), then do your best to step away from all of that and try to understand what it is you truly want or think is best for you (this process will repeat throughout your life, so develop a system that works and be willing to constantly refine it!). You are ultimately the one who should feel empowered to make the final call on decisions that you will live with, but don't shy away from fielding other people's advice (unless it is truly harmful or negative advice of course!). Best of luck - it sounds like you are fortunate to have others around you that care about your future!
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Angela’s Answer

Choosing a career that aligns with your personal desires rather than the expectations of others can be a challenge but it is important to remain true to yourself. The biggest piece will be to let go of expectations you may think others have of you. It is important to recognize the pressures or opinions that come from family/friends/community and upon doing so, you can separate them from your own desires. Set boundaries and avoid comparing yourself to others.
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Twilio’s Answer

Throughout your life you may face pushback from others about your life choices- your career might be the first one. Its your life! It’s really important for you to do what makes you happy- because it’s YOU who is going to be doing it day after day. It’s YOU who gets to live with your success and your failures. Sorry you’re worried about this- it might be hard for a little if they are not the most supportive of your direction (and your direction may change -many times!- over your life). But you will find comradery in the field you choose with your coworkers .
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Twilio’s Answer

Decide what is best for you as it is your life. If you choose something just to impress family and you do not enjoy; you will end up wasting your time when you realize you need to do it for yourself. Family will be proud of you in the end.
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Twilio’s Answer

Do what’s best for you! I faced serious judgment from my family about my college major, but found a career I love and am successful by my own standards. I think my parents were surprised and that impressed them in a different way!
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Leah’s Answer

Hi Liyne! I've definitely been in your shoes before when I was figuring out what I should study in college. In general, I'm a very creative person and I wanted to study something that allowed me to express that creativity. I wanted to go to study fashion design and my parents didn't agree with it. For me, I compromised with them and got a degree in business and a degree in fashion design. In the end, I'm happy I did both because I realized that I didn't want to do fashion design as a career and I had something to fall back on. I still love fashion design, but just as a hobby :)

I definitely agree that it's super important to stay true to yourself and what you want to study. I'm happy that I'm in a career that allows me to use both degrees. Maybe discuss with your parents/family what you really want to do and why. Also discuss any potential high earning careers in the field you're interested in. 9 times out of 10, parents give pushback because of money. You definitely don't have to go into a high earning job, but it'll show them that there's more value than they think in your career path. If that doesn't work, then you have to do you! You come first. It's your life. You need to feel fulfilled in your life. Your purpose in life is not to please others. You've got this!
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