4 answers
Alice
Student
Kochi, Kerala, India
3
Questions
Updated
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SHOULD YOU FOLLOW YOUR PASSION OR GO FOR A STABLE JOB?
Hi. I am a 10th standard cbse student in India. I like History and Geography and Social Science subjects in general. But as expected, my parents are worried. They want me to study science and maths, two subjects I despise or computer. I can't imagine handling someone's life as a doctor and can't even think about studying physics and maths for engineering.I really want to follow my passion. I don't have my entire life planned out to give them a proper speech and I don't think that's possible because life is unpredictable. I also think that I do way better in Social Science than in science or maths. I get 78-80 marks out of 80 for social science but for science and maths I only get around 50-68. I am really tired of getting lectured non stop. I get it that they want me to have a stable life but it's draining my hope in life. I am an only child and don't have anyone to share this with because pretty sure my Bestfriend is tired of my trauma dumping. I hope someone can provide me with support and advice here. I know my parents are just worried about and I feel guilty about sharing this here but I really don't have a choice.
Note: My parents are nice but I think they are just worried and disappointed lol.
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4 answers
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
6333
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Alice!
Alice's situation is a common one: a student passionate about humanities (History, Geography, Social Science) facing pressure from parents to pursue STEM fields (Science, Maths, or Computer Science) for perceived stability. Here's a breakdown of advice and support for her:
**Understanding the Situation:**
* **Valid Feelings:** Alice's feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and guilt are completely valid. It's difficult to feel pressured to pursue a path that doesn't resonate with her interests and strengths.
* **Parental Concerns:** Her parents' desire for her to have a stable future comes from a place of love and concern. They likely associate STEM fields with better job prospects and financial security. This is a common parental viewpoint, especially in many cultures.
* **Mismatch of Aptitude and Interest:** Alice's higher grades in Social Science (78-80/80) compared to Science and Maths (50-68) clearly indicate a stronger aptitude and interest in the humanities. Forcing herself into STEM could lead to lower academic performance and decreased well-being.
* **Lack of Communication:** While Alice says her parents are nice, there's a clear communication gap. She feels unable to express her feelings effectively and feels unheard.
**Advice and Support for Alice:**
1. **Open and Honest Communication (Attempt 2.0):** While Alice might feel she's tried talking to her parents, it's crucial to try a structured conversation. Here's how:
* **Choose the Right Time:** Pick a calm moment when everyone is relaxed and can focus.
* **"I" Statements:** Focus on expressing her own feelings and experiences. For example: "I feel really drained when I try to study science and maths," rather than "You're making me miserable."
* **Present Evidence:** Show them her grades. This is concrete proof of her strengths in social sciences.
* **Research Career Options:** Research careers related to History, Geography, and Social Science. This will show her parents that these fields offer viable career paths (e.g., historian, geographer, urban planner, teacher, journalist, policy analyst, archivist, museum curator). Having concrete examples will strengthen her argument.
* **Acknowledge Their Concerns:** Show them that she understands their worries about stability. For example: "I understand you want me to have a good future, and I want that too. I've been researching careers in [Social Science fields], and they offer good opportunities."
* **Compromise (Potentially):** Perhaps there are related fields that bridge her interests with some of their concerns. For example, if they are concerned about job prospects, she could explore fields like economics, which uses some mathematical concepts but is closely related to social sciences.
2. **Seek External Support:**
* **School Counselor:** A school counselor can provide unbiased advice and may even be able to mediate a conversation with her parents.
* **Trusted Teacher:** A teacher who understands her passion can also offer support and guidance.
* **Online Communities:** Online forums or support groups for students facing similar pressures can provide a sense of community and shared experience.
3. **Focus on Her Strengths:** It's important for Alice to continue excelling in her areas of strength. This will boost her confidence and provide her with a solid foundation for future studies.
4. **Long-Term Perspective:** Alice is right – life is unpredictable. While planning is important, it's also crucial to be adaptable. Choosing a path that aligns with her interests and abilities is more likely to lead to long-term happiness and success.
5. **Self-Care:** This situation is stressful. Alice needs to prioritize self-care activities that help her manage stress, such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends (even if she feels she's "trauma dumping," a good friend will listen).
**Addressing the "Trauma Dumping" Concern:**
It's important for Alice to realize that sharing her struggles with friends is not "trauma dumping" if done respectfully and within reasonable limits. True friends are there to support each other. However, if she feels like she's constantly overwhelming her friends, she could try to:
* **Be mindful of the frequency and intensity of her sharing.**
* **Ask her friends if they are okay to listen before launching into a heavy topic.**
* **Offer support to her friends as well.**
* **Seek professional help if she feels overwhelmed or unable to cope.**
By taking these steps, Alice can navigate this challenging situation and work towards a future that aligns with her passions and abilities.
God Bless!
JC.
Alice's situation is a common one: a student passionate about humanities (History, Geography, Social Science) facing pressure from parents to pursue STEM fields (Science, Maths, or Computer Science) for perceived stability. Here's a breakdown of advice and support for her:
**Understanding the Situation:**
* **Valid Feelings:** Alice's feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and guilt are completely valid. It's difficult to feel pressured to pursue a path that doesn't resonate with her interests and strengths.
* **Parental Concerns:** Her parents' desire for her to have a stable future comes from a place of love and concern. They likely associate STEM fields with better job prospects and financial security. This is a common parental viewpoint, especially in many cultures.
* **Mismatch of Aptitude and Interest:** Alice's higher grades in Social Science (78-80/80) compared to Science and Maths (50-68) clearly indicate a stronger aptitude and interest in the humanities. Forcing herself into STEM could lead to lower academic performance and decreased well-being.
* **Lack of Communication:** While Alice says her parents are nice, there's a clear communication gap. She feels unable to express her feelings effectively and feels unheard.
**Advice and Support for Alice:**
1. **Open and Honest Communication (Attempt 2.0):** While Alice might feel she's tried talking to her parents, it's crucial to try a structured conversation. Here's how:
* **Choose the Right Time:** Pick a calm moment when everyone is relaxed and can focus.
* **"I" Statements:** Focus on expressing her own feelings and experiences. For example: "I feel really drained when I try to study science and maths," rather than "You're making me miserable."
* **Present Evidence:** Show them her grades. This is concrete proof of her strengths in social sciences.
* **Research Career Options:** Research careers related to History, Geography, and Social Science. This will show her parents that these fields offer viable career paths (e.g., historian, geographer, urban planner, teacher, journalist, policy analyst, archivist, museum curator). Having concrete examples will strengthen her argument.
* **Acknowledge Their Concerns:** Show them that she understands their worries about stability. For example: "I understand you want me to have a good future, and I want that too. I've been researching careers in [Social Science fields], and they offer good opportunities."
* **Compromise (Potentially):** Perhaps there are related fields that bridge her interests with some of their concerns. For example, if they are concerned about job prospects, she could explore fields like economics, which uses some mathematical concepts but is closely related to social sciences.
2. **Seek External Support:**
* **School Counselor:** A school counselor can provide unbiased advice and may even be able to mediate a conversation with her parents.
* **Trusted Teacher:** A teacher who understands her passion can also offer support and guidance.
* **Online Communities:** Online forums or support groups for students facing similar pressures can provide a sense of community and shared experience.
3. **Focus on Her Strengths:** It's important for Alice to continue excelling in her areas of strength. This will boost her confidence and provide her with a solid foundation for future studies.
4. **Long-Term Perspective:** Alice is right – life is unpredictable. While planning is important, it's also crucial to be adaptable. Choosing a path that aligns with her interests and abilities is more likely to lead to long-term happiness and success.
5. **Self-Care:** This situation is stressful. Alice needs to prioritize self-care activities that help her manage stress, such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends (even if she feels she's "trauma dumping," a good friend will listen).
**Addressing the "Trauma Dumping" Concern:**
It's important for Alice to realize that sharing her struggles with friends is not "trauma dumping" if done respectfully and within reasonable limits. True friends are there to support each other. However, if she feels like she's constantly overwhelming her friends, she could try to:
* **Be mindful of the frequency and intensity of her sharing.**
* **Ask her friends if they are okay to listen before launching into a heavy topic.**
* **Offer support to her friends as well.**
* **Seek professional help if she feels overwhelmed or unable to cope.**
By taking these steps, Alice can navigate this challenging situation and work towards a future that aligns with her passions and abilities.
God Bless!
JC.
Thanks James. Your reply is really well oriented. I am really In a dilemma beacuse if I need admission for Social science I need to go some where for that tomorrow that is in about 12 hours. So from that point on, I am in this. There's nothing I can change. I am scared. I am debating if I should do this. The career prospects are low, especially in a country like mine, which will have millions of aspirants and not to mention the reserve policy for lower castes which I am not included in. I don't have anyone to talk with. I don't know what to do as well. I want to join the GSI service of government which I don't know if I can.
Alice
YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO ASK FOR MORE HELP IF YOU NEED IT ALICE!
James Constantine Frangos
Michelle M.
Entertainment Industry
1913
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Alice !
Thanks for reaching out to us ! Being a High School Student in the exciting city of Kochi surely must bring you to a wide variety of possible career choices ! Allow me to lend some support. We want you to be comfortable to come here to Career Village for things you are concerned about.
Your situation is universal. Students all over the world have had to deal with this situation, so you are not alone. Your parents seem loving, caring and want the best for you. It is you who will have to choose the career to dedicate your life's work to, though. I think that having discussions with your parents in which you bring up the subjects you are and aren't good in can be of benefit to helping them realize that you must be the one to choose your career. They need to come to the realization that there is a great deal more out there than careers in math or science. Definitely tell them how it makes you feel when they push a career goal on you. They surely do not want you to be unhappy. Remind them of what you excel in and tell them that you're going to need to be good in whatever career your choose, one that is suited to you.
Don't give up. That' the most important thing. Try to meet new people who seem understanding and can empathize with you. It may lead to new, stronger friendships for support.
I was in college a whole year before my mother could accept that I was a Theatre (Acting) major. All I heard from older people was, "What kind of job are you going to get with a degree in theatre ???" Instead of feeling frustrated I reacted in a defiant way, knowing my reality and realizing that they just didn't know or understand that field of work. I recognized the non-support and just thought nothing was going to stop me, no matter what the older generation said. At least my father understood. After a year of telling people I was majoring in English (because she knew I loved to write), my mother finally accepted it as I was working on projects, acting, and working tech in Theatre. So, sometimes, just by doing, you show them it's good and possible.
So take whatever it is you want to do, do volunteer work, find projects to work on and demonstrate how much you love it. With Theatre, it took my being totally immersed 16 or more hours a day for some people to realize it was serious and people do work in the entertainment field. When they see that they can't stop you, that is when they see you happy and reconsider how they thought. That's just my experience, though.
Definitely return here with any concerns you may have as we are happy to help out. Best wishes with this - give it time, use a gentle approach and demonstrate the reality to them !
Thanks for reaching out to us ! Being a High School Student in the exciting city of Kochi surely must bring you to a wide variety of possible career choices ! Allow me to lend some support. We want you to be comfortable to come here to Career Village for things you are concerned about.
Your situation is universal. Students all over the world have had to deal with this situation, so you are not alone. Your parents seem loving, caring and want the best for you. It is you who will have to choose the career to dedicate your life's work to, though. I think that having discussions with your parents in which you bring up the subjects you are and aren't good in can be of benefit to helping them realize that you must be the one to choose your career. They need to come to the realization that there is a great deal more out there than careers in math or science. Definitely tell them how it makes you feel when they push a career goal on you. They surely do not want you to be unhappy. Remind them of what you excel in and tell them that you're going to need to be good in whatever career your choose, one that is suited to you.
Don't give up. That' the most important thing. Try to meet new people who seem understanding and can empathize with you. It may lead to new, stronger friendships for support.
I was in college a whole year before my mother could accept that I was a Theatre (Acting) major. All I heard from older people was, "What kind of job are you going to get with a degree in theatre ???" Instead of feeling frustrated I reacted in a defiant way, knowing my reality and realizing that they just didn't know or understand that field of work. I recognized the non-support and just thought nothing was going to stop me, no matter what the older generation said. At least my father understood. After a year of telling people I was majoring in English (because she knew I loved to write), my mother finally accepted it as I was working on projects, acting, and working tech in Theatre. So, sometimes, just by doing, you show them it's good and possible.
So take whatever it is you want to do, do volunteer work, find projects to work on and demonstrate how much you love it. With Theatre, it took my being totally immersed 16 or more hours a day for some people to realize it was serious and people do work in the entertainment field. When they see that they can't stop you, that is when they see you happy and reconsider how they thought. That's just my experience, though.
Definitely return here with any concerns you may have as we are happy to help out. Best wishes with this - give it time, use a gentle approach and demonstrate the reality to them !
Ben Reagan
Digital Learning Consultant (Content Writer)
4
Answers
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Updated
Ben’s Answer
Hey Alice, this is a great place to ask these questions! It sounds like you really care about your parents and value their input, but also want to follow your own path and have a career that's satisfying to you. I think a lot of people feel that way so you're definitely not alone!
I completed my undergraduate degree in psychology in the US and am less familiar with opportunities in India. However, I can say there are a lot of opportunities in social sciences in the US and globally, especially if you're open to pursuing graduate education.
Here are some career paths you might consider:
- User Experience (UX) Researcher, UX Designer, UX Writer: UX, also known as human-computer interaction, is an exciting field that blends social science with design, computer science, and more.
- Psychologist, Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist is a medical doctor, their work is closely tied to the social sciences.
- University Professor: You could teach subjects like psychology, sociology, anthropology, political science, and more.
- Industrial Organizational Psychologist: This type of psychologist focuses on enhancing well-being and productivity in the workplace.
I encourage you to explore these careers and study areas that pique your interest.
After that, if you're comfortable, present these options to your parents. Show them (and use statistics you find) on how these paths could lead to a stable, satisfying career. After all, when you're passionate about your work, you're more likely to excel in your field!
I completed my undergraduate degree in psychology in the US and am less familiar with opportunities in India. However, I can say there are a lot of opportunities in social sciences in the US and globally, especially if you're open to pursuing graduate education.
Here are some career paths you might consider:
- User Experience (UX) Researcher, UX Designer, UX Writer: UX, also known as human-computer interaction, is an exciting field that blends social science with design, computer science, and more.
- Psychologist, Psychiatrist: While a psychiatrist is a medical doctor, their work is closely tied to the social sciences.
- University Professor: You could teach subjects like psychology, sociology, anthropology, political science, and more.
- Industrial Organizational Psychologist: This type of psychologist focuses on enhancing well-being and productivity in the workplace.
I encourage you to explore these careers and study areas that pique your interest.
After that, if you're comfortable, present these options to your parents. Show them (and use statistics you find) on how these paths could lead to a stable, satisfying career. After all, when you're passionate about your work, you're more likely to excel in your field!
Thanks Ben <3
Alice
Angel S
UI/UX Design Aspirant
357
Answers
India
Updated
Angel’s Answer
It’s great that you know your strengths and passions. Communicate calmly with your parents, showing how excelling in Social Science can lead to stable careers like civil services, teaching, research, or policymaking. Share examples of successful people in these fields. Compromise by keeping options open, but stay true to your interests.
Thanks Angel <3
Alice