8 answers
Choo
Student
Unknown Village, Arusha Region
5
Questions
Updated
992 views
What are some of the best ways to support and encourage children going through difficult times emotionally?
I can't make them listen when they cry or go on a emotional break down any advice appreciated
Login to comment
8 answers
Dr H
Dr. H's Research
1334
Answers
Australia
Updated
Dr’s Answer
Hey Choo, again!
That's a fascinating question. So, supporting kids through emotional struggles can be tough, but being there for them, even when they’re having a hard time expressing themselves, can make a world of difference. Here are a few things that can help:
1. Create a Safe Space: Let them know it's okay to feel upset. Sometimes, kids just need a space to vent without judgment. Just being there, even silently, can be comforting.
2. Active Listening: Instead of trying to fix everything right away, listen to their feelings and validate them. Sometimes, all they need is someone to hear them out, without offering solutions immediately.
3. Stay Calm: Kids pick up on our emotions. If you stay calm and patient, it can help them feel more secure and less overwhelmed by their own emotions.
4. Give Them Tools to Express Their Feelings: Help them find ways to express what they’re going through. Whether it’s drawing, writing, or talking, giving them different outlets can help them process emotions.
5. Routine & Comfort: When emotions are high, kids often feel more secure with routine. Simple things like a favorite blanket or quiet time can help them feel grounded.
6. Offer Reassurance: Remind them that it’s okay to have tough days and that you’re there to help them through it. Kids need to know that they won’t be judged for having emotions.
Every child is different, so it might take some time to figure out what works best, but showing up with love and patience is the most important thing. You’re doing great just by being there! 😊
That's a fascinating question. So, supporting kids through emotional struggles can be tough, but being there for them, even when they’re having a hard time expressing themselves, can make a world of difference. Here are a few things that can help:
1. Create a Safe Space: Let them know it's okay to feel upset. Sometimes, kids just need a space to vent without judgment. Just being there, even silently, can be comforting.
2. Active Listening: Instead of trying to fix everything right away, listen to their feelings and validate them. Sometimes, all they need is someone to hear them out, without offering solutions immediately.
3. Stay Calm: Kids pick up on our emotions. If you stay calm and patient, it can help them feel more secure and less overwhelmed by their own emotions.
4. Give Them Tools to Express Their Feelings: Help them find ways to express what they’re going through. Whether it’s drawing, writing, or talking, giving them different outlets can help them process emotions.
5. Routine & Comfort: When emotions are high, kids often feel more secure with routine. Simple things like a favorite blanket or quiet time can help them feel grounded.
6. Offer Reassurance: Remind them that it’s okay to have tough days and that you’re there to help them through it. Kids need to know that they won’t be judged for having emotions.
Every child is different, so it might take some time to figure out what works best, but showing up with love and patience is the most important thing. You’re doing great just by being there! 😊
Dr. H, thanks a bunch! Your advice is super helpful—sometimes just being there really is the best thing. Appreciate you taking the time to share!
Choo
This was super helpful, thank you!
Choo
Thanks, can't wait to put this advice into action!
Mina
You are welcome, glad it was helpful and appreciate your kind words! 🤗
Dr H
Thanks you are too kind dr h
Choo
Always come both Mina and Choo. Stay blessed guys. You will do amazing things in the future.
Dr H
Dianna Soto
Non Sterile Pharmacy Technician
26
Answers
Tampa, Florida
Updated
Dianna’s Answer
Every child is different. When a child is overwhelmed with their own emotions one thing you can try is a calm down playlist. It can be music, or music videos of their favorite songs. I created a Disney music video playlist for one of my nieces when she is emotional. It can take 10 to 30 minutes to completely calm down, it depends themselves. Just to be prepared, make a playlist that lasts for up to an hour, or more. It’s easier when they are family because you can hug them if they need that extra support. If they are not family, the playlist can still help to calm them down enough to relax. Once they feel comfortable with you to open up, they will talk talking on their own and be more open to advice. You also have to let them know that it is okay for them to feel how they feel. That if they need more time to cry out their feelings, it’s okay too.
Natasha Rieder
Occupational Health Nurse
28
Answers
Wentzville, Missouri
Updated
Natasha’s Answer
Wow, what an incredibly hard position to be in. No parent ever wants to see their child suffer. It's a little difficult to get best guidance without knowing the age of the child but here are a few general rules that should apply to most young children (babies, toddlers and teens can be a different story):
- Get on their level; kneel down or even sit on the floor. It's intimidating talking to someone looming over you, especially if the child feels like they're in trouble.
- Make it clear that what they are feeling is never wrong, but they are responsible for how they react to these feelings. It's perfectly okay to be mad that your brother ate the last oreo, but it's not appropriate to put a hole in the drywall because of it.
- Don't necessarily try to make the noise stop. Whether it's word vomit or uncontrolled crying, these little people have big feelings and very little experience with how to deal with it. If you think about some of the adults you know you can probably recall a few who still don't handle adverse emotions very well. Just let them get out what they need to. And on that note
- Determine if they want advice or just a listening ear. As parents we can be quick to try to give advice to solve our child's problem, but they may not want or be ready for that step in the process yet. Sometimes you can read the room and make this determination, sometimes (again, depending on the age) you can just flat out ask them what they need. They may not know and that's okay too.
- Give them body autonomy. Hugs make most people happy, they may even make your child happy, but your emotionally vulnerable child may not want to be touched at all. So ask before hugging or touching to make sure you're not crossing an emotional boundary for them in this moment.
- When all else fails, give them space. It can be very hard to just let our children suffer, but sometimes some time alone is really, truly what they need in that moment, and us in their face trying to help just fuels the fire.
Depending on the severity of the emotional issues consider counseling, either through their school or through your insurance. Most insurance companies have what is called and Employee Assistance Program (EAP). You can find out if yours does by talking to your HR or calling the number on the back of your insurance card and asking them. If you do it typically comes with a set number of free sessions and after that you can use your insurance like normal to continue counseling if needed, just make sure the provider is in network so you don't have to pay out of pocket. If you do decide counseling is best, just make sure you don't ask nosey questions after the sessions. What is said during them is between your child and the counselor, and asking "so what did you talk about today?" puts your child in a compromising position regarding their privacy.
That's a long answer, but only a few tips. I've had to handle some pretty dramatic emotional outbursts from my children so feel free to come back here if more guidance is needed. Good luck!!
- Get on their level; kneel down or even sit on the floor. It's intimidating talking to someone looming over you, especially if the child feels like they're in trouble.
- Make it clear that what they are feeling is never wrong, but they are responsible for how they react to these feelings. It's perfectly okay to be mad that your brother ate the last oreo, but it's not appropriate to put a hole in the drywall because of it.
- Don't necessarily try to make the noise stop. Whether it's word vomit or uncontrolled crying, these little people have big feelings and very little experience with how to deal with it. If you think about some of the adults you know you can probably recall a few who still don't handle adverse emotions very well. Just let them get out what they need to. And on that note
- Determine if they want advice or just a listening ear. As parents we can be quick to try to give advice to solve our child's problem, but they may not want or be ready for that step in the process yet. Sometimes you can read the room and make this determination, sometimes (again, depending on the age) you can just flat out ask them what they need. They may not know and that's okay too.
- Give them body autonomy. Hugs make most people happy, they may even make your child happy, but your emotionally vulnerable child may not want to be touched at all. So ask before hugging or touching to make sure you're not crossing an emotional boundary for them in this moment.
- When all else fails, give them space. It can be very hard to just let our children suffer, but sometimes some time alone is really, truly what they need in that moment, and us in their face trying to help just fuels the fire.
Depending on the severity of the emotional issues consider counseling, either through their school or through your insurance. Most insurance companies have what is called and Employee Assistance Program (EAP). You can find out if yours does by talking to your HR or calling the number on the back of your insurance card and asking them. If you do it typically comes with a set number of free sessions and after that you can use your insurance like normal to continue counseling if needed, just make sure the provider is in network so you don't have to pay out of pocket. If you do decide counseling is best, just make sure you don't ask nosey questions after the sessions. What is said during them is between your child and the counselor, and asking "so what did you talk about today?" puts your child in a compromising position regarding their privacy.
That's a long answer, but only a few tips. I've had to handle some pretty dramatic emotional outbursts from my children so feel free to come back here if more guidance is needed. Good luck!!
Thanks for your encouragement!
Choo
You are very welcome!! Good luck!!
Natasha Rieder
marie marek
Mortgage Specialist
12
Answers
Detroit, Michigan
Updated
marie’s Answer
Hi Choo!
It's really tough to see kids in emotional pain, especially when they’re feeling overwhelmed and hard to reach. It’s great that you want to support them during these times. I've organized some usefult tips in assisting children through difficult emotional moments. Hopefully incoroprating them can help you assit the child/children through these rough moments and set them up for success in similar times in their future!
Numbers 6, 7 and 10 are my personal favorte from the list!
1. **Stay Calm and Present**
Kids often look to adults for how to handle emotions. If you stay calm, it can help them feel more grounded. Your calm presence might not immediately stop their crying, but it can offer a sense of stability. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter how much they are struggling.
2. **Acknowledge Their Feelings**
Sometimes, kids just need to feel understood. Acknowledge their emotions without trying to immediately fix the situation. You can say things like:
- "I see you’re really upset right now."
- "It’s okay to cry and feel sad/angry/frustrated."
This helps them feel heard and can create a sense of connection.
3. **Create a Safe Space**
Ensure that they have a space where they can express themselves freely. You might gently encourage them to talk or let them know that it's okay if they need to take some time to be alone. Some kids find comfort in just sitting with their emotions, without the need for constant conversation.
4. **Use Gentle Physical Comfort**
If the child is open to it, physical comfort like a hug, a hand on the back, or sitting close can make them feel supported. Be sure to respect their boundaries, though; some children may not want physical comfort when they are upset.
5. **Encourage Deep Breathing**
For children who can understand simple instructions, teaching them deep breathing or counting to ten can help them calm down. You can guide them with phrases like:
- "Let’s take a deep breath together."
- "In through your nose, out through your mouth."
6. **Validate Their Experience**
Rather than jumping straight into problem-solving or asking them to stop crying, validate their emotions first. Sometimes, kids need reassurance that it's okay to feel what they’re feeling. You could say:
- "It’s okay to cry when you’re upset."
- "It makes sense that you’re feeling like this right now."
7. **Offer Choices (When Possible)**
When a child is feeling overwhelmed, sometimes they feel powerless. Giving them a sense of control can be really helpful. You can ask:
- "Do you want to talk about what happened or have a quiet moment?"
- "Would you like a snack or a glass of water to help you feel better?"
8. **Give Time and Space**
Sometimes children need time to process their emotions and may not be ready to listen or talk right away. If they’re crying or having a meltdown, it might help to let them cry it out a bit, rather than forcing them to calm down. When they’re ready, they’ll be more open to connection and support.
9. **Use Distraction (When Appropriate)**
If a child is stuck in a very intense emotional moment and is unable to snap out of it, gently redirecting their focus with something comforting or engaging (like a favorite book, toy, or activity) can sometimes break the cycle of their emotional distress.
10. **Model Healthy Coping Skills**
Kids learn by watching the adults around them. If you can model healthy ways of dealing with your own emotions, it can provide them with tools for managing their feelings too. For example, you might say:
- "I feel frustrated right now, but I’m going to take a deep breath to help me calm down."
11. **Consistent Routine and Predictability**
A sense of structure and predictability can bring comfort to a child who feels emotionally overwhelmed. Knowing that there’s a routine or safety net (like a favorite song or activity) can help them feel more secure.
12. **Follow Up**
After they’ve calmed down, talk with them about their feelings. Ask what might have helped them feel better during the emotional moment. This not only helps them process the event, but it also shows them that you’re there for them in the long term.
**Remember, it can take time.** It might feel like you're not getting through to them in the moment, but your consistency and gentle support will make a difference in the long run. Keep offering reassurance, space, and comfort, and over time, they’ll start feeling more comfortable turning to you when they’re upset.
It's really tough to see kids in emotional pain, especially when they’re feeling overwhelmed and hard to reach. It’s great that you want to support them during these times. I've organized some usefult tips in assisting children through difficult emotional moments. Hopefully incoroprating them can help you assit the child/children through these rough moments and set them up for success in similar times in their future!
Numbers 6, 7 and 10 are my personal favorte from the list!
1. **Stay Calm and Present**
Kids often look to adults for how to handle emotions. If you stay calm, it can help them feel more grounded. Your calm presence might not immediately stop their crying, but it can offer a sense of stability. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter how much they are struggling.
2. **Acknowledge Their Feelings**
Sometimes, kids just need to feel understood. Acknowledge their emotions without trying to immediately fix the situation. You can say things like:
- "I see you’re really upset right now."
- "It’s okay to cry and feel sad/angry/frustrated."
This helps them feel heard and can create a sense of connection.
3. **Create a Safe Space**
Ensure that they have a space where they can express themselves freely. You might gently encourage them to talk or let them know that it's okay if they need to take some time to be alone. Some kids find comfort in just sitting with their emotions, without the need for constant conversation.
4. **Use Gentle Physical Comfort**
If the child is open to it, physical comfort like a hug, a hand on the back, or sitting close can make them feel supported. Be sure to respect their boundaries, though; some children may not want physical comfort when they are upset.
5. **Encourage Deep Breathing**
For children who can understand simple instructions, teaching them deep breathing or counting to ten can help them calm down. You can guide them with phrases like:
- "Let’s take a deep breath together."
- "In through your nose, out through your mouth."
6. **Validate Their Experience**
Rather than jumping straight into problem-solving or asking them to stop crying, validate their emotions first. Sometimes, kids need reassurance that it's okay to feel what they’re feeling. You could say:
- "It’s okay to cry when you’re upset."
- "It makes sense that you’re feeling like this right now."
7. **Offer Choices (When Possible)**
When a child is feeling overwhelmed, sometimes they feel powerless. Giving them a sense of control can be really helpful. You can ask:
- "Do you want to talk about what happened or have a quiet moment?"
- "Would you like a snack or a glass of water to help you feel better?"
8. **Give Time and Space**
Sometimes children need time to process their emotions and may not be ready to listen or talk right away. If they’re crying or having a meltdown, it might help to let them cry it out a bit, rather than forcing them to calm down. When they’re ready, they’ll be more open to connection and support.
9. **Use Distraction (When Appropriate)**
If a child is stuck in a very intense emotional moment and is unable to snap out of it, gently redirecting their focus with something comforting or engaging (like a favorite book, toy, or activity) can sometimes break the cycle of their emotional distress.
10. **Model Healthy Coping Skills**
Kids learn by watching the adults around them. If you can model healthy ways of dealing with your own emotions, it can provide them with tools for managing their feelings too. For example, you might say:
- "I feel frustrated right now, but I’m going to take a deep breath to help me calm down."
11. **Consistent Routine and Predictability**
A sense of structure and predictability can bring comfort to a child who feels emotionally overwhelmed. Knowing that there’s a routine or safety net (like a favorite song or activity) can help them feel more secure.
12. **Follow Up**
After they’ve calmed down, talk with them about their feelings. Ask what might have helped them feel better during the emotional moment. This not only helps them process the event, but it also shows them that you’re there for them in the long term.
**Remember, it can take time.** It might feel like you're not getting through to them in the moment, but your consistency and gentle support will make a difference in the long run. Keep offering reassurance, space, and comfort, and over time, they’ll start feeling more comfortable turning to you when they’re upset.
Claire McLeod
Recreational Therapist
8
Answers
Pensacola, Florida
Updated
Claire’s Answer
Hey!
This is a great question! A few ways to help children release emotions are: drawing, listening to music, and physical exercise. Drawing helps children identify the emotions that they are feeling. Having a discussion after they are done drawing will help them release their emotions. Listening to music is also a great way to help children release emotions because they can identify different songs with different emotions. Lastly, physical exercise helps children get rid of negative energy that causes negative emotions (catharsis theory). Drawing, listening to music, and physical exercise are all great healthy coping skills for children to use in their daily lives.
This is a great question! A few ways to help children release emotions are: drawing, listening to music, and physical exercise. Drawing helps children identify the emotions that they are feeling. Having a discussion after they are done drawing will help them release their emotions. Listening to music is also a great way to help children release emotions because they can identify different songs with different emotions. Lastly, physical exercise helps children get rid of negative energy that causes negative emotions (catharsis theory). Drawing, listening to music, and physical exercise are all great healthy coping skills for children to use in their daily lives.
Your advice was so helpful!
Choo
C V
6
Answers
Buda, Texas
Updated
C’s Answer
Hi Choo! It can be difficult to support kids during emotional breakdowns, particularly if they struggle to communicate their emotions or reject comfort. The most crucial thing is to maintain your composure and self-control because kids can sense the emotions of people around them. Speaking in a calm, steady voice and taking long breaths can both contribute to a feeling of security. Validate their sentiments by recognizing what they are going through, rather than attempting to resolve the issue right away. They can feel heard by using simple statements like "That must feel really hard" or "I see that you're really upset right now." Steer clear of condescending remarks like "Calm down" or "It's not a big deal," as these can make them feel unworthy.
Establishing a secure environment for them is beneficial during a breakdown. If they require space, give it to them while being close by to reassure them. A hug can be helpful if they are looking for physical consolation, but it should never be coerced. It is best to keep communication brief and gentle because toddlers may find it difficult to digest too many words at once. Without being overbearing, simple statements like "I'm here," "You're safe," or "Take your time" might reassure them.
It can be beneficial to assist the child in trying to develop some emotional management techniques after they have cooled down. They can find healthy outlets through methods like painting their emotions, squeezing a stress ball, listening to relaxing music, or deep breathing (like when you pretend to blow out birthday candles). Offering minor options, like "Would you like to sit here or over there?" or "Do you want a hug or a drink of water?" can also assist regain control and potentially lessen frustration.
Supporting children's emotional intelligence development is essential, even outside of emergency situations. Reading books on emotions, role-playing coping strategies, and talking about feelings when they feel comfortable will help them be more ready for challenges in the future. Above all, be patient. Since emotional regulation is a skill that takes time to learn, they will progressively build resilience and trust if they get ongoing understanding and support.
Hope you feel more comfortable managing your kids!
Establishing a secure environment for them is beneficial during a breakdown. If they require space, give it to them while being close by to reassure them. A hug can be helpful if they are looking for physical consolation, but it should never be coerced. It is best to keep communication brief and gentle because toddlers may find it difficult to digest too many words at once. Without being overbearing, simple statements like "I'm here," "You're safe," or "Take your time" might reassure them.
It can be beneficial to assist the child in trying to develop some emotional management techniques after they have cooled down. They can find healthy outlets through methods like painting their emotions, squeezing a stress ball, listening to relaxing music, or deep breathing (like when you pretend to blow out birthday candles). Offering minor options, like "Would you like to sit here or over there?" or "Do you want a hug or a drink of water?" can also assist regain control and potentially lessen frustration.
Supporting children's emotional intelligence development is essential, even outside of emergency situations. Reading books on emotions, role-playing coping strategies, and talking about feelings when they feel comfortable will help them be more ready for challenges in the future. Above all, be patient. Since emotional regulation is a skill that takes time to learn, they will progressively build resilience and trust if they get ongoing understanding and support.
Hope you feel more comfortable managing your kids!
Thanks for your encouragement!
Choo
Dr.Aishwarya Elavarasan
Doctor
1
Answer
Madurai, Tamil Nadu, India
Updated
Dr.Aishwarya’s Answer
Make them engage in other sports and yoga practices, Meditation will give perfect relaxation and improves their mental health
Physical activity
Take them to favourite tourist spot
Spend time with them
Dr.Aishwarya recommends the following next steps:
Dr.Aishwarya, thank you!
Choo
Karen Kitchel
Community Volunteer
375
Answers
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Updated
Karen’s Answer
Looks like you are in one of the most important roles in the world -- having influence on children who are our future.
Sometimes you need to let children cry. There's nothing wrong with expressing feelings or emotions, and for kids that often means crying. While observing them cry, it might be helpful to rub their back, touch their arm or in some way make physical contact which can be soothing. As they quiet down, use a very calm voice to say something positive (not why are you crying). Letting them know you care about them and want to help them during this tough time, might give them an opportunity to open up to you. Allow them to have their own space and quiet time if that's what they would like to do. You might also suggest having them write a note to someone in their family or a friend about what they like about them.
Thanks for asking and for anything you are doing to help kids!
With every good wish and many blessings,
Karen
Sometimes you need to let children cry. There's nothing wrong with expressing feelings or emotions, and for kids that often means crying. While observing them cry, it might be helpful to rub their back, touch their arm or in some way make physical contact which can be soothing. As they quiet down, use a very calm voice to say something positive (not why are you crying). Letting them know you care about them and want to help them during this tough time, might give them an opportunity to open up to you. Allow them to have their own space and quiet time if that's what they would like to do. You might also suggest having them write a note to someone in their family or a friend about what they like about them.
Thanks for asking and for anything you are doing to help kids!
With every good wish and many blessings,
Karen