Is being very empathetic and understanding to other's problems a good quality in the counseling field?

Dear Alyssa,

In a word, yes! Empathy, that is the ability to see and experience the world the way another person does, is crucial in a successful counseling relationship. In the 1960's a number of research studies found that the personality of the therapist was a crucial component of a counselor's effectiveness. In particular the counselor's openness and empathy were more important than whatever techniques the counselor used. Therapists who were low in empathay and openness could actually make clients worse. This research has been largely forgotten today with the emphasis on methods such as cognitive behavior therapy, but in my opinion it needs to be re emphasized.

I should also mention though that counselors need to maintain certain boundaries. Being overwhelmed by a client's distress does not help anybody; the counselor is in distress and the client is not being helped. Good counselors learn to do both. Also, empathy is not the same as sympathy, which can sometimes convey an attitude that the client is inferior in some way, or cannot help herself.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you. I wish you the best in your career pursuits.

Being empathetic and understanding is a strong positive, especially for social animals like human beings. Empathy and understanding are more of the factors involved in the receiving end of communication. And that is essential in determining how to transmit ideas. This ability to communicate is one of the driving forces that allowed us to be the top of the food chain, as it were, on this planet. It enables us to maximize our effectiveness, maximize our survival, maximize our value to others, and ultimately maximize our happiness. Counseling relies almost entirely on these traits. Especially in managing others. My ability and willingness to understand and motivate others has always been invaluable in keeping my subordinates happy and effective, not to mention making my job more satisfying. A side benefit is that applying more concern with others' happiness is a great way of minimizing your own fatigue and preventing depression. It's a classic win-win scenario.