22 answers
Marie
Student
Geneva, Ohio
35
Questions
Asked
2206 views
is it okay to be shy?
I am so shy infront of people
#shyness
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22 answers
Doc Frick
Career Coach and Mentor
1616
Answers
California, CA
Updated
Doc’s Answer
Marie you do not HAVE to overcome shyness if you don’t want to. Being shy does not make you an inferior person. In fact, you don’t HAVE to do anything in life you don’t want to.
Thanks Dexter, What is the essence of life? If is not to serve others and to do good.
Doc Frick
Marie somtimes things may seem hard but you should never underestimate your own power to dream.
Doc Frick
thank you so much your awesome
Marie
Hi John
I agree with you! This is such a nice message you sent to Marie.
Best Wishes,
Rosa C. Lopez
Rosa Lopez
Thank You Rosa. “Our generation has the ability and the responsibility to make our ever-more connected world a more hopeful, stable and peaceful place.” — Natalie Portman
Doc Frick
Thank You Maeve. We should always remember that our present situation is not our final destination. The best is yet to come.
Doc Frick
Melissa Ir
Assistant Manager
4
Answers
Raleigh, North Carolina
Updated
Melissa’s Answer
It is ok to be shy. Many people are shy. It is a matter of how you handle it. The more experience you have with life and the circumstances that will come your way will challenge you outside of the "shy zone." I used to be quite shy but now I am not (well, I am at least less shy). I think the main thing to remember is that most of the time people are thinking about themselves. I know for me, I was shy because I was always scared about what other people think. Be you! Only you can be you; you are unique and special in that way! Your opinion, your values, your experiences....they all matter and are important! Just find the right way to weave them into conversations. Also putting yourself if these types of circumstances will help you a lot! (I recommend getting a part-time job at a restaurant....so many valuable skills will be learned from working. It will get you out of your comfort zone in a good way! Trust me! The same happened to me!)
thank you!
Marie
Dexter Arver
Senior Manager, Web Applications
232
Answers
San Jose, California
Updated
Dexter’s Answer
Hi Marie,
It's totally fine to be a shy person. It's just a trait, like how some people hate eating spicy foods. :)
Just like eating spicy foods though, it's something that can be worked on, if you want to be less shy. For me, I wouldn't describe myself as shy, but I am definitely reserved. But what helped me gain more confidence in speaking was taking a speech class in highschool (was a college class I took in the summer). This speech class helped me become a better presenter and gather my thoughts in a clearer way. I mean, it's still something I have to practice with and work on, but it really helped me see how it could be done. That I was capable of clearly communicating my thoughts with my voice.
Just know that you're the perfect person in the way you are, since we're all meant to be different and unique (our DNA wills it so). I wish you the best of luck in your life!
--
Dexter
It's totally fine to be a shy person. It's just a trait, like how some people hate eating spicy foods. :)
Just like eating spicy foods though, it's something that can be worked on, if you want to be less shy. For me, I wouldn't describe myself as shy, but I am definitely reserved. But what helped me gain more confidence in speaking was taking a speech class in highschool (was a college class I took in the summer). This speech class helped me become a better presenter and gather my thoughts in a clearer way. I mean, it's still something I have to practice with and work on, but it really helped me see how it could be done. That I was capable of clearly communicating my thoughts with my voice.
Just know that you're the perfect person in the way you are, since we're all meant to be different and unique (our DNA wills it so). I wish you the best of luck in your life!
--
Dexter
Tomiwa Rabiu
9
Answers
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Updated
Tomiwa’s Answer
It is okay to be shy! I used to be extremely shy and would have a hard time making conversation with people I did not know. I also used to have really bad stage fright, but now I am a musician that performs in front of hundreds of people. Being shy is definitely something that you can overcome! I took an improvisation class in High School that really helped me step out of my comfort zone. Another thing that helped me is forcing myself to talk to new people. It is perfectly normal to stay in your comfort zone, but if you decide to challenge yourself and step out of it, you will see yourself grow immensely.
Aaron Zweig
Asset Manager
13
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
Aaron’s Answer
Of course it is! Just remember though, shyness can be something that does hinder growth and opportunity. It is important to try to grow and develop a way to put yourself out there more. It can be uncomfortable at times, but that's how we can get better as people. In the business world, being shy can be a hindrance to any career aspirations, as most of the time when you move up, there are times when you will have to come out of your shell.
Don't change who you are at your core, but try to add dimension. Be an introvert and shy, but also try to come out of your shell sometimes it can do you some good!
Don't change who you are at your core, but try to add dimension. Be an introvert and shy, but also try to come out of your shell sometimes it can do you some good!
thank you!
Marie
Dawn Poczynek-Holdridge
Credit Risk Manager
2
Answers
Odessa, DE
Updated
Dawn’s Answer
I too considered myself shy - all the way through college, into my early career years. It's perfectly okay to be shy and I think it's wonderful that you are discovering who you are today. Being self-aware is a key of career success, it helps you grow. Being shy also allows you the ability to sit back and listen and observe your surroundings - these behaviors enable you to read others, be more empathetic and also more thoughtful in your responses.
However if you are shy and desire to change that about yourself, there are certainly opportunities through school and clubs to practice talking with people, getting tips on how to initiate conversations, keep conversations going, and easing the uncomfortableness you may feel in groups. One thing I learned about myself is I am much more comfortable & less shy in one on one conversations than walking into a room of strangers and striking up a conversation.
Complimenting someone is always a good way to start a conversation (be genuine) & try to ask open ended questions that allow the other person to talk and engage with you.
However if you are shy and desire to change that about yourself, there are certainly opportunities through school and clubs to practice talking with people, getting tips on how to initiate conversations, keep conversations going, and easing the uncomfortableness you may feel in groups. One thing I learned about myself is I am much more comfortable & less shy in one on one conversations than walking into a room of strangers and striking up a conversation.
Dawn recommends the following next steps:
Thank you for your help
Marie
Zainee Gafoor
Operations Manager
12
Answers
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Updated
Zainee’s Answer
Being authentic to who you are is very important personally and professionally. When we show up as ourselves and feel a sense of belonging, this will allow us to be at our best.
Accepting who you are doesn't mean that you can't also learn proactive strategies to overcome any barriers that you may feel.
If there are specific concerns you have as a result to being shy, you can explore this area more in depth and identify specific actions that you can take.
For example, if you feel that you can't express your opinions because of a group meeting at work, you can take a proactive approach with the person leading and come up with a way for you to provide insights or feedback. Maybe it's being called on so you don't have to assess timing of when to speak up, or providing insights or feedback in more of a 1:1 scenario afterwards.
When we identify strategies that work with our natural characteristics, this will allow us to be fully present and thrive.
Accepting who you are doesn't mean that you can't also learn proactive strategies to overcome any barriers that you may feel.
If there are specific concerns you have as a result to being shy, you can explore this area more in depth and identify specific actions that you can take.
For example, if you feel that you can't express your opinions because of a group meeting at work, you can take a proactive approach with the person leading and come up with a way for you to provide insights or feedback. Maybe it's being called on so you don't have to assess timing of when to speak up, or providing insights or feedback in more of a 1:1 scenario afterwards.
When we identify strategies that work with our natural characteristics, this will allow us to be fully present and thrive.
Jacob Olsen
REO Sales Asset Manager
14
Answers
Prosper, Texas
Updated
Jacob’s Answer
Hi - it is OK to be shy. Work related, you should have a side conversation with your manager so they know what to expect from you and how you feel. See if you can take some classes to help you over come the shyness. It takes times to build up your confidence, but you will get there.
Katelyn Robertson
Account Manager
12
Answers
Cary, North Carolina
Updated
Katelyn’s Answer
Absolutely!! It’s okay to get shy and nervous. I am a horrible public speaker, I get a pit in my stomach and overthink what I am about to say. I turn into such a big deal, I over analyze everything I say to someone. I always think I’m awkward when I talk to people. Most of us are like that. At the end of the day most people hardly listen when we speak so it is okay to slip up. We all say the wrong things and slip up. Everyone is shy at first in a new situations, you are not alone. I would recommend to help with the shyness to push to do things outside of your comfort zone. Do stuff that scares you and embrace the fear. It will push you out of our comfort zone and show you there was no reason to be scared. Go up and talk to someone you find attractive, or be the person that raises their hand to read out loud to the class. Trust me it will help push you to have more confidence and be less shy!
Devin Haynes
2
Answers
Updated
Devin’s Answer
Although it is ok to be shy, it is important to let your voice be heard when you have any questions or concerns.
Anthony Ledakis
Equity Underwriter/Real Estate Broker
2
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Anthony’s Answer
Hi Marie....fine to be shy in certain situations. Don't let it cripple you though and live by the Johann Wolfgang von Goethe maxim, "be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." Good luck.
Riley Carr
Business Analyst
179
Answers
Hollywood, Florida
Updated
Riley’s Answer
Of course, some people are just naturally introverts and some are extroverts! As an introvert, you might be more comfortable in a career that does not require much social interaction, like some sort of office job. However, I think that most people are shy when they are younger but as you grow up and continue to experience more things in life, talking to new people will become much less scary.
Gina West (she/her)
Director, Community Investment & Engagement at Fannie Mae
5
Answers
Washington
Updated
Gina’s Answer
Yes, Yes, Yes, 100% YES! It is okay to be whomever you are. Most people live on the spectrum of being shy in certain situations and not in others, so you don't ever have to change who you are...you just need to find your balance. And that can be done by trying new things and stretching yourself so that you can open up to new experiences...who knows, you might find that space or career or set of friends who are also "shy" but use it to their benefit by creating a world that supports who they are vs. trying to change to make others happy.
Do one thing today to allow yourself to have a new experience with other people. Dont think of it as uncertain or scary, think of it as an adventure that you have the power to control how you show up...even if it is showing up shy. :-)
Gina recommends the following next steps:
Clarice Shepard
10
Answers
Updated
Clarice’s Answer
Yes, it's okay to be shy. Be yourself and embrace yourself!
Zein Kraus
Talent Acquisition Business Partner / Recruiter
11
Answers
Houston, Texas
Updated
Zein’s Answer
Its 100% okay to be shy! BE YOU! One of my all time favorite book is called Quiet Power by Susan Cain.
Please check it it out and I hope you enjoy it!
Please check it it out and I hope you enjoy it!
Suzanne Barr
Attorney
5
Answers
Takoma Park
Updated
Suzanne’s Answer
Being shy, and especially knowing that about yourself, is wonderful!
When it comes to life choices, majors, career and job decisions, you may want to consider the choices partly (and only partly) with that in mind. I think a shy person can do almost any job, but it might help to consider (and ask those who know), what it's LIKE to work as a shy XYZ. Then you can have an idea what kinds of issues you may have to plan to deal with. For example, will the job force you to interact with strangers all day (like a barista would), and would that actually be easier or harder than a job where you may have to be the one to approach people (like a shoe salesperson). Being shy can also be an asset in some roles and circumstances. Just think how much easier the introverts are having it these days in the time of stay-at-home.
When it comes to life choices, majors, career and job decisions, you may want to consider the choices partly (and only partly) with that in mind. I think a shy person can do almost any job, but it might help to consider (and ask those who know), what it's LIKE to work as a shy XYZ. Then you can have an idea what kinds of issues you may have to plan to deal with. For example, will the job force you to interact with strangers all day (like a barista would), and would that actually be easier or harder than a job where you may have to be the one to approach people (like a shoe salesperson). Being shy can also be an asset in some roles and circumstances. Just think how much easier the introverts are having it these days in the time of stay-at-home.
james coleman
HECM
3
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
james’s Answer
Depending on you aspirations this maybe a problem but saying that, as long as you are mentally prepared for what is in front of you you will be fine.
Ryan Cantrell
Medical Laboratory Science
1
Answer
Morgantown, West Virginia
Updated
Ryan’s Answer
It’s 100% okay to be shy!! I grew up extremely shy (and still am in some situations). Being shy is just something that is unique about you! Embrace being shy. If it is something that you would like to change or improve, try things that are out of your comfort zone. Try things that force you to engage with people.
joann price
sales rep
11
Answers
Plano, Texas
Updated
joann’s Answer
Yes, it okay to be shy, don't consider being shy as a negative. Be yourself, confident and embrace who you are.
Gizel Hovsepian
3
Answers
Updated
Gizel’s Answer
It is ok to be shy. I learned through the years of working that you do not have to be aggressive to be successful. What helped me was accepting new friendships outside of my existing circle of friends. As you go through your career, path you will learn to be more assertive. You will attend meetings and have interactions with different personalities that will allow you to express yourself.
Rosa Lopez
Retail Salesperson/Artist
6
Answers
San Diego, California
Updated
Rosa’s Answer
Hi Marie,
Yes, it is okay to be shy! It is a part of your personality, it makes up a part of who you are and that is nothing to be ashamed of! Just be YOU!
I am also shy and can be reserved, but this has not stopped me from trying out new things. In high school and college, I would get very nervous when I was around other people or needed to try new things. But as I grew and got to work on things that interested me, the shyness starts to not become a problem because I have accepted it as a part of my personality. Being shy does not define who you are. You are made up of so many wonderful personality traits and shyness is just one of those many.
Also remember it is okay to push yourselves sometimes, even though it may make you so very nervous, because you will learn so much. I have pushed myself to do things out of my comfort zone and I have often surprised myself!
It is important that you accept yourself because you are awesome just the way you are!
Best Wishes,
-Rosa C. Lopez
Yes, it is okay to be shy! It is a part of your personality, it makes up a part of who you are and that is nothing to be ashamed of! Just be YOU!
I am also shy and can be reserved, but this has not stopped me from trying out new things. In high school and college, I would get very nervous when I was around other people or needed to try new things. But as I grew and got to work on things that interested me, the shyness starts to not become a problem because I have accepted it as a part of my personality. Being shy does not define who you are. You are made up of so many wonderful personality traits and shyness is just one of those many.
Also remember it is okay to push yourselves sometimes, even though it may make you so very nervous, because you will learn so much. I have pushed myself to do things out of my comfort zone and I have often surprised myself!
It is important that you accept yourself because you are awesome just the way you are!
Best Wishes,
-Rosa C. Lopez
Karla Borbon
Credit Risk Manager
10
Answers
Long Beach, California
Updated
Karla’s Answer
Hi Marie-
It is most definitely ok to be yourself! Whether you are shy, or not. Just be you! Life will present you with situations, which may place you to step outside your comfort zone, and that is okay.
It is very important to stay true to yourself and love yourself for who you are. Also, it’s just as important to know is that each day allows you the opportunity to work in areas of yourself that YOU feel you need to enhance, improve or change as you see fit for yourself (for your personal and professional life). And though this may sound a bit contradictory to staying true to yourself, it really isn’t…you are still staying true to yourself by recognizing areas of yourself that YOU think you want to change/improve about yourself. For example, some people may be procrastinators and feel they need work on not procrastinating so much because it may be hindering their jobs.
At the end of the day, just be happy with yourself and appreciate who you are! Remember, sometimes we are our own worse critics!
😊
It is most definitely ok to be yourself! Whether you are shy, or not. Just be you! Life will present you with situations, which may place you to step outside your comfort zone, and that is okay.
It is very important to stay true to yourself and love yourself for who you are. Also, it’s just as important to know is that each day allows you the opportunity to work in areas of yourself that YOU feel you need to enhance, improve or change as you see fit for yourself (for your personal and professional life). And though this may sound a bit contradictory to staying true to yourself, it really isn’t…you are still staying true to yourself by recognizing areas of yourself that YOU think you want to change/improve about yourself. For example, some people may be procrastinators and feel they need work on not procrastinating so much because it may be hindering their jobs.
At the end of the day, just be happy with yourself and appreciate who you are! Remember, sometimes we are our own worse critics!
😊