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How do you overcome your natural shyness to effectively network?

I'm really shy, so the idea of networking makes me really uncomfortable. My shyness is keeping me back from making impactful connections. How do I overcome it?

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Maura’s Answer

The more you do it the easier it will be. You might want to start with events where you can network in group settings to take some of the pressure off you a little bit. In 1:1 interactions, preparation will be your best friend. Research the person you are connecting with and draft some questions specific to their experience. You might also have some back pocket questions you keep in mind for any networking interaction to help you feel at ease- questions like, "what's a typical day like in your role?" "What advice would you give to someone trying to break into your industry?" "What are the top skills you find yourself using day to day in your role?"
Thank you comment icon Thank you! Genevieve
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Chloe’s Answer

That's an excellent question! Remember, the individual or group you're conversing with might be experiencing the same level of shyness as you. So, how can you help them feel more at ease? A proven strategy is to express genuine interest and curiosity about them. Engage them with questions and seek their advice. You'll notice that they'll start to open up and show the same level of interest in you. This approach transforms the conversation into a more natural exchange, rather than a forced networking event. It's all about mutual curiosity and connection!
Thank you comment icon Thank you! Genevieve
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Donna’s Answer

It is ok to be shy, look at it as a starting point of being an active listener. One of the easiest ways to overcome your shyness is to start with your personal network. Reach out to seasoned or older friend or family member and have a one or one conversation with them about their professional path/journey. Talk to them about your likes and areas of interest and ask them about there’s. Also familiarize yourself with the industry of your interest it will make having conversations easier as you will know what you are talking about and can participate in discussions or have an opinion. I think the more and more you have such conversation the easier it will be. Commit to having such conversations once a month. And leave the conversation with a recommendation on who they would suggest that you speak to next. Not only will it increase your next but it will give you practice and hopefully decrease your shyness.
I recommend these six empowering books — “Quiet,” “The Charisma Myth,” “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” “The Gifts of Imperfection,” “Quiet Influence,” and “The Confidence Gap” —
Thank you comment icon Thank you! I really appreciate you recommending some books, I will definitely check them out! Genevieve
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James’s Answer

Begin with baby steps - try introducing yourself to a friend or a family member. Let them role-play as a different person and rehearse this a couple of times.
If you're lucky enough to have a supportive person around you, maybe a buddy who shares your interests, take turns introducing each other.
Before you start, jot down a few key points you'd like to mention: your name, your interests, and why they should remember you.
Thank you comment icon Thank you, James! Genevieve
Thank you comment icon Yes I agree, baby steps. I didn’t think of role playing, that’s another grear idea if you’re comfortable to get comfortable. Anthony Royster
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Karen’s Answer

Great you are asking for ideas to help you succeed. Networking can be done using your computer as well as in person. Try connecting with people you know with an email and ask if they might connect you with someone who is currently working in an area that interests you. After an email or two you might try meeting in person over coffee. Prepare a list of questions so you don't have to be concerned about what to say.

You might also try volunteering for positions where the focus is on what you're doing, not what you're saying such as serving meals. Might be easier to have a casual conversation while you're doing something together with others.

With every good wish.
Thank you comment icon Great advice, thank you Karen! Genevieve
Thank you comment icon Nice! Volunteering is another great way to network and overcome the anxiety of shyness. Anthony Royster
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Anthony’s Answer

What helps is joining clubs, organizations or meetups that interest you. Meeting can be tough, however meeting new people in environments you relate to makes it easier.

Anthony recommends the following next steps:

Find subjects you’re interested in.
Sign up or attend what works for you.
Make a plan to say hello to at least 2-3 people you think look interesting
Thank you comment icon Wow, great advice! I think having a goal of saying hi to at least 2-3 people would make it easier to approach people. Thank you! Genevieve
Thank you comment icon Yes keep it simple! The best of luck to you. Anthony Royster
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Juan Rafael’s Answer

Great question, it shows you understand the importance of networking and want to grow regardless of how difficult it is for you. You're not alone; I'm an introvert, I know the struggle.

A great mentor once encouraged me to attend random events and start conversations. It was uncomfortable, but he said: "you won't know how good you are until you do this multiple times." I attended low-risk gatherings (trainings, volunteering opportunities, etc.) to meet people I wouldn't necessarily see again and forced myself to say 'hi' first. After a few awkward ones, I got the hang of it and formulated my recipe: "Hi, I'm Juan, how are you?" plus 2 go-to questions I prepared before the gathering and related to the event.

I learned most people like to talk about what they do, so if you show genuine curiosity, they will eventually say something that sparks the interest and conversation. I also learned that (just like in real life networking) not all interactions need to be successful. If a conversation leads nowhere, it's okay to move on. Practice makes perfect, and it will become easier
Thank you comment icon Thank you! Genevieve
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