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What do I do if I suspect that one of my parents is unsupportive of me going to college?

As a current high school graduate, I'm looking forward to starting off at my community college this fall. I finished registration and got my financial aid straightened out, and FAFSA looks like It could really help me. During my spare time< I scroll online for any scholarships that could help. One night, I showed my mom what FAFSA could help me with, but she only focused on the EFC and how I mentioned that it outlines a recommended family contribution. Being brutally honest, she told me "Your dad expects the government to help you with everyhing and still wishes that you woud be working instead. Even though as parents, we both should support you, especially in something like this."
Keep in mind, I will be the first in my family to go to college. I'm just not sure why he would expect me to work, when he knows I want to do better than whats happening right now. He, himself, once showed me one of his pay stubs with his annual income and told me to try and make double that in the future. Simply put, I would like some advise to help me explain to him that it may be difficult, but not impossible to make the effort. Thank you to anyone who responds. #college #psychology #teaching #financial-aid #community-college #first-generation

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Jaclyn’s Answer

Hi Briana! I worked for a local university specializing in first generation college students in academic advising. First of all, you're doing great by applying and getting your parents involved! It's natural for parents of first generation college students to feel really apprehensive about sending their kid(s) to college. The EFC is a really important factor, but there are many ways to alleviate the gap in between your offered financial aid and the EFC. Apply for as many grants and scholarships as possible, either through the university or through local businesses, churches, non-profits, etc. http://www.imfirst.org/scholarship/ is a great site among any others. You can also apply for work study when filling out the FAFSA. If you're deemed eligible for that, you are able to apply for on-campus positions such as working in the library, gym, as a tutor, etc. More here: https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/types/work-study


All of what I mentioned are unfortunately very competitive, but there are options. Many universities have specific resources or departments (such as where I worked) that are specific to first generation students and offer many resources parents as well. Where ever you are applying, I recommend contacting the admissions office and finding out the resources available to you. Depending on your major as well, you can also contact that department to see what scholarships and grants are available for you. The conversation you'll have to have with your parents is probably very difficult, but I would research the resources available to them as well so they understand what the college application process is, what resources are available to you, etc. Specifically, research the colleges and universities you are applying to and ask an admissions counselors what resources are available. Your guidance or college and career counselor in school may be able to help you this as well.


PS - I was a first generation student too and didn't know any of this existed so I love passing information on to other first gen students!! There's a lot out there, but you just need to research and ask questions. I personally found my parents were just scared because they did not know the college process and were unfamiliar with a lot of things in college. I tried to find the best way to include them and make them understand that it was an investment in my future. no easy task by any means, but I couldn't be happier with my decision to go to college as well as make an effort to involve my parents.
Thank you comment icon Thank you, first of all, for taking the time out of your day to respond. At my college, I have looked into work-study and will continue to look more on campus for those resources, so I can help break the ice with my parents. Although it's unfamiliar territory, thank you for giving me a little more confidence to up front with them. Briana
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Krystal’s Answer

True story, I found out that my mom "thought" i shouldn't have went back to school while i was enrolled in my grad program. It was hurful, but it also pushed me. Going to college, was really for "me" not for her. I brushed it under, and continued. When i graduated, I invited her to my graduation dinner. She was very happy and proud of me. Maybe you should try to talk to your parent and find out what his/her concerns are and maybe you can reassure them. Best wishes!
Thank you comment icon Thank you, I'm currently going through my second year of college now and everything seems smoothed out. I'm hoping to be able to balance a part time job to satisfy my father's concerns. But, hopefully I can try sitting him down, with my mom to help me explain the process. Thank you again and have a nice day! Briana
Thank you comment icon Hello Briana, How are things going now? Are you still in college? Krystal Thomas
Thank you comment icon Hello Krystal, thank you for checking in on me! Things have been rocky as of late, but not impossible as I'm still going forward in anyway I can. I'm finally putting my mental health first, really learning about myself and taking steps to exploring new things in any way I can. Now I'm much more assured into going into psychology, but I know that i must take care of myself first before putting myself out there. Regardless, I am sure that I do want to go into that helping role, looking at either art therapy, marriage and family, school counseling or school psychology. I'll be graduating at the end of this spring semester from my community college, but taking an off year to get some work experience and try to take the next step in being more independent for my sake. Briana
Thank you comment icon Did you dad ever go to college? Good luck! Krystal Thomas
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Ken’s Answer

Hi Briana!


Sometimes the best way to win someone over to your side is to show them that you know the value of money and that you are trying to reduce the amount of money required for an education. Here are some tips that will give you some ideas that you can present to show that you are interested in keeping costs down:


http://www.educationplanner.org/students/paying-for-school/ways-to-pay/reduce-college-costs.shtml
http://www.moneycrashers.com/ways-reduce-cost-college-education/


Here is a site that will help with scholarships:


http://www.fastweb.com/


By showing that you understand the cost involved and want to reduce the amount of expenditure required and that you are looking for scholarships to help pay for your education, you may help to convince the non supportive parent that your education is a sound investment in your family's future.


Best of luck!


Please keep me posted. I would like to follow you progress!
Thank you comment icon Thank you so much for sending me these links, they will help a lot! I actually am currently using fastweb to search for scholarships, but I had no idea about the plans offered to students. Hopefully I can use this as a resource to better explain the cost and necessity of college. Thank you! Briana
Thank you comment icon You are welcome! Best of luck! Please keep me posted. If would like to follow your progress! These might also help: https://www.collegerecruiter.com/blog/2016/02/13/balancing-academics-and-work-as-a-college-student/ https://www.unigo.com/in-college/college-experience/creating-a-workschool-balance-a-college-student-perspective Ken Simmons
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