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How can you build confidence in yourself and feel like you aren't letting your parents done?
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anahi’s Answer
Building confidence in yourself is a gradual process, and it's natural to want to make your parents proud. Here are some tips to help boost your confidence and ease the feeling of letting your parents down:
### **1. **Set Realistic Goals:**
- Break larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and use them as building blocks for your confidence.
### **2. **Focus on Your Strengths:**
- Identify and acknowledge your strengths. Build on what you're good at, and use those strengths to overcome challenges.
### **3. **Positive Self-Talk:**
- Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts about yourself.
### **4. **Accept Imperfections:**
- Understand that everyone makes mistakes and faces setbacks. Embrace imperfections as part of the learning and growth process.
### **5. **Seek Feedback:**
- Request constructive feedback from trusted mentors, friends, or colleagues. Use feedback as a tool for improvement rather than as a measure of your worth.
### **6. **Learn and Grow:**
- Approach challenges with a growth mindset. View them as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as failures.
### **7. **Visualize Success:**
- Visualize yourself succeeding in various aspects of your life. This positive visualization can help boost confidence and motivation.
### **8. **Build Competence:**
- Enhance your skills and knowledge in areas that matter to you. The more competent you feel, the more confident you become.
### **9. **Surround Yourself with Positivity:**
- Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences. Seek out people who encourage and uplift you.
### **10. **Set Boundaries:**
- Establish healthy boundaries with yourself and others. Know when to say no and prioritize your well-being.
### **11. **Celebrate Achievements:**
- Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This reinforces a positive mindset and helps build confidence.
### **12. **Take Care of Your Well-Being:**
- Prioritize self-care, including adequate sleep, exercise, and healthy habits. Physical well-being contributes to mental and emotional well-being.
### **13. **Embrace Failures as Learning Opportunities:**
- Instead of viewing failures as setbacks, see them as opportunities to learn and improve. Failure is a natural part of any journey.
### **14. **Set Personal Standards:**
- Establish realistic and healthy standards for yourself. Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and it's okay to have moments of struggle.
### **15. **Communicate with Your Parents:**
- Share your aspirations, challenges, and successes with your parents. Open communication can foster understanding and support.
### **16. **Professional Help:**
- If you're struggling with self-confidence, consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist. They can provide guidance and strategies for building confidence.
Remember that building confidence is a continuous process, and it's okay to seek support along the way. Your parents likely want to see you happy and fulfilled, so keeping the lines of communication open with them can be beneficial. Focus on your personal growth, and over time, you may find that your confidence naturally strengthens.
### **1. **Set Realistic Goals:**
- Break larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and use them as building blocks for your confidence.
### **2. **Focus on Your Strengths:**
- Identify and acknowledge your strengths. Build on what you're good at, and use those strengths to overcome challenges.
### **3. **Positive Self-Talk:**
- Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts about yourself.
### **4. **Accept Imperfections:**
- Understand that everyone makes mistakes and faces setbacks. Embrace imperfections as part of the learning and growth process.
### **5. **Seek Feedback:**
- Request constructive feedback from trusted mentors, friends, or colleagues. Use feedback as a tool for improvement rather than as a measure of your worth.
### **6. **Learn and Grow:**
- Approach challenges with a growth mindset. View them as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as failures.
### **7. **Visualize Success:**
- Visualize yourself succeeding in various aspects of your life. This positive visualization can help boost confidence and motivation.
### **8. **Build Competence:**
- Enhance your skills and knowledge in areas that matter to you. The more competent you feel, the more confident you become.
### **9. **Surround Yourself with Positivity:**
- Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences. Seek out people who encourage and uplift you.
### **10. **Set Boundaries:**
- Establish healthy boundaries with yourself and others. Know when to say no and prioritize your well-being.
### **11. **Celebrate Achievements:**
- Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This reinforces a positive mindset and helps build confidence.
### **12. **Take Care of Your Well-Being:**
- Prioritize self-care, including adequate sleep, exercise, and healthy habits. Physical well-being contributes to mental and emotional well-being.
### **13. **Embrace Failures as Learning Opportunities:**
- Instead of viewing failures as setbacks, see them as opportunities to learn and improve. Failure is a natural part of any journey.
### **14. **Set Personal Standards:**
- Establish realistic and healthy standards for yourself. Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and it's okay to have moments of struggle.
### **15. **Communicate with Your Parents:**
- Share your aspirations, challenges, and successes with your parents. Open communication can foster understanding and support.
### **16. **Professional Help:**
- If you're struggling with self-confidence, consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist. They can provide guidance and strategies for building confidence.
Remember that building confidence is a continuous process, and it's okay to seek support along the way. Your parents likely want to see you happy and fulfilled, so keeping the lines of communication open with them can be beneficial. Focus on your personal growth, and over time, you may find that your confidence naturally strengthens.
Updated
Mariah’s Answer
Hi Liana,
I agree with Steve's answer. I'd also recommend when you have your list of activities that are interesting to you pick 1 or 2 and get involved with them in a way that connects you to others. For example, if you like writing, join a writing workshop or group. Practicing and improving a skill while being bolstered by other people with similar interests can help with confidence. The support of other people with similar interests can really make a difference.
Hope this helps!
Best,
Mariah
Check out groups on Meetup: https://www.meetup.com/
I agree with Steve's answer. I'd also recommend when you have your list of activities that are interesting to you pick 1 or 2 and get involved with them in a way that connects you to others. For example, if you like writing, join a writing workshop or group. Practicing and improving a skill while being bolstered by other people with similar interests can help with confidence. The support of other people with similar interests can really make a difference.
Hope this helps!
Best,
Mariah
Mariah recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Steve’s Answer
Hi Liana,
To build self-confidence, the first thing you need to know: you live for yourself not for others.
There's no way to please everyone. You just have to make yourself better and happier.
You can list some activities or subjects that are interesting to you, then work on them.
By completing some achievement stage by stage, you'll get satisfaction and pride in yourself.
Magically, others will feel your confidence and even boost you into an upward spiral.
Hope this advice helps you.
To build self-confidence, the first thing you need to know: you live for yourself not for others.
There's no way to please everyone. You just have to make yourself better and happier.
You can list some activities or subjects that are interesting to you, then work on them.
By completing some achievement stage by stage, you'll get satisfaction and pride in yourself.
Magically, others will feel your confidence and even boost you into an upward spiral.
Hope this advice helps you.
Updated
Tidjan’s Answer
One of the great way to build confidence is continuous practice in whatever you want to get better in. Decide on a goal that will get you right into the flow state. A goal that is outside your comfort zone but not so far that you feel frustrated.
Updated
Kevin P’s Answer
LIana, I learned that living a life I was proud of made my parents proud. I cannot speak for your parents, but I am a parent and I had parents so I have some insight. I do not want this to sound bad but as a Son I always made sure I made myself proud. I never wanted to live with regret. Every decision I made was to set up myself for successful. This in turn made my parents proud. Usually unaware to myself. It just happened.
Now how to build confidence. Well, accomplishing goals built my confidence. However, intentionally small goals was how I did this. Lets take a reading a book as a goal. Well reading an entire book is a big goal, but reading a chapter is not. So I started there.
I remember in December 2008 I decided I wanted to run a half marathon. I was 20 and still lived at home. My parents thought I was crazy because I never ran before. So it was very much out of blue. They were not runners and could not understand. However, the goal of running a half marathon was not the focus. Running one mile was. Then completing 2 miles. Then 2 miles without stopping. Every one of those little tick marks built confidence.
Then the big day came. I had to get up at like 5am. My dad wanted to be there. He waited over 2 hours at the finish line to watch me cross the line. I built confidence, I made him proud, and I fell in love with running that day.
This principle can be applied to almost everything. Make the goals big so you can accomplish little ones along the way. You build confidence and the parents will not be let down.
Best of luck.
Now how to build confidence. Well, accomplishing goals built my confidence. However, intentionally small goals was how I did this. Lets take a reading a book as a goal. Well reading an entire book is a big goal, but reading a chapter is not. So I started there.
I remember in December 2008 I decided I wanted to run a half marathon. I was 20 and still lived at home. My parents thought I was crazy because I never ran before. So it was very much out of blue. They were not runners and could not understand. However, the goal of running a half marathon was not the focus. Running one mile was. Then completing 2 miles. Then 2 miles without stopping. Every one of those little tick marks built confidence.
Then the big day came. I had to get up at like 5am. My dad wanted to be there. He waited over 2 hours at the finish line to watch me cross the line. I built confidence, I made him proud, and I fell in love with running that day.
This principle can be applied to almost everything. Make the goals big so you can accomplish little ones along the way. You build confidence and the parents will not be let down.
Best of luck.
Updated
Howard’s Answer
Hi Liana,
For me I built my self confidence by choosing a profession that I really liked, which was teaching as a professor in College. My first days of teaching were difficult but I found that the more I did it, the better I became which also built up my confidence.
Choose some things you really enjoy doing and bring success into your life. The more success you have the more confident you will get. There may be some bumps in the road where you will fail, but don't worry about that. We can learn from our failures and then become even more self-confident that what we are doing is right. Hope this helps and have a great day..
For me I built my self confidence by choosing a profession that I really liked, which was teaching as a professor in College. My first days of teaching were difficult but I found that the more I did it, the better I became which also built up my confidence.
Choose some things you really enjoy doing and bring success into your life. The more success you have the more confident you will get. There may be some bumps in the road where you will fail, but don't worry about that. We can learn from our failures and then become even more self-confident that what we are doing is right. Hope this helps and have a great day..
Updated
Chris’s Answer
As a Parent, I can tell you that the key thing I want for my daughter is for her to be happy pursuing a life that has meaning and value. In other words, she should not focus on "what makes Mum & Dad happy", but instead on making herself happy which should lead to us and others being happy as an outcome.
In terms of building self-confidence, I was quite a shy yet bubbly kid, and as I grew into my life and a career my self-confidence grew exponentially by doing the things I love to do, and moving away from things I can afford to avoid (within reason). I cannot afford not to work, so I also focus on doing work I genuinely enjoy on a daily basis, but that also gives me enough of a sense of meaning and fulfillment to close down the week thinking I have added more to the World that taken away (well, as much as it practically possible each week!). As a teenager, when asking my parents what I should choose for my career they answered very simply - "it is your choice not ours. We want YOU to choose and be happy. Just think what would you do each day for the sheer love of doing it, and see if you can shape a career around that." Consequently I have taken the following approach to my career - do what I love doing, then I will be very good at doing it due to my focus and enjoyment derived, then as a consequence I will gain great benefits e.g. salary, promotions, opportunities to expand learning or related roles, and most importantly, the level of self-confidence knowing I am better than average in what I do, and therefore at a level of success I subjectively think is what I aspire to. The more you practice, the better you get at something, and the more confident you become.
I hope this helps. Just remember - inside we all think we need more self-confidence, but outside almost everyone (that's c7Billion people!) is anxious, shy and feels they need to work on their self-confidence!! You are usually more able, gifted, and freer to design and live an incredible life that you might think! All the very best.....
In terms of building self-confidence, I was quite a shy yet bubbly kid, and as I grew into my life and a career my self-confidence grew exponentially by doing the things I love to do, and moving away from things I can afford to avoid (within reason). I cannot afford not to work, so I also focus on doing work I genuinely enjoy on a daily basis, but that also gives me enough of a sense of meaning and fulfillment to close down the week thinking I have added more to the World that taken away (well, as much as it practically possible each week!). As a teenager, when asking my parents what I should choose for my career they answered very simply - "it is your choice not ours. We want YOU to choose and be happy. Just think what would you do each day for the sheer love of doing it, and see if you can shape a career around that." Consequently I have taken the following approach to my career - do what I love doing, then I will be very good at doing it due to my focus and enjoyment derived, then as a consequence I will gain great benefits e.g. salary, promotions, opportunities to expand learning or related roles, and most importantly, the level of self-confidence knowing I am better than average in what I do, and therefore at a level of success I subjectively think is what I aspire to. The more you practice, the better you get at something, and the more confident you become.
I hope this helps. Just remember - inside we all think we need more self-confidence, but outside almost everyone (that's c7Billion people!) is anxious, shy and feels they need to work on their self-confidence!! You are usually more able, gifted, and freer to design and live an incredible life that you might think! All the very best.....
Updated
Kelly’s Answer
Self confidence comes from within. I believe that the best way to build self confidence is through actively engaging in the world around us, building new skills, relationships, and knowledge, and doing all this for yourself and no one else. A simple example: I was feeling particularly low at one point and decided I needed to do something to boost my own confidence. I started taking singing lessons. Now... I'm not incredibly good at singing, but it has always brought me joy. I went to my lessons every week and each week I left the studio with just a little more joy in my heart and a little bit more self confidence knowing I had this thing I loved and I was working on improving.
I also get a lot of satisfaction and confidence through my work. I know that I am very good at my job - but I also know that I'm only good at it because I truly like what I do. While I do believe that a job is ultimately still a job and it won't always be enjoyable, if you can find a job in a field you're genuinely interested in, you will ultimately outperform those around you who are not as engaged or interested in the field.
As far as your parents go, I think as we grow up and start to become independent adults it becomes more clear that you need to be more focused on not disappointing yourself than your parents. While I understand (and respect) that you don't want to let them down, ultimately it will make you happier to set your own goals for yourself and work to achieve those versus anyone else's goals for you. We cannot look externally for validation if we want to live happy lives!
I hope this was helpful and sending you lots of confident thoughts! :)
I also get a lot of satisfaction and confidence through my work. I know that I am very good at my job - but I also know that I'm only good at it because I truly like what I do. While I do believe that a job is ultimately still a job and it won't always be enjoyable, if you can find a job in a field you're genuinely interested in, you will ultimately outperform those around you who are not as engaged or interested in the field.
As far as your parents go, I think as we grow up and start to become independent adults it becomes more clear that you need to be more focused on not disappointing yourself than your parents. While I understand (and respect) that you don't want to let them down, ultimately it will make you happier to set your own goals for yourself and work to achieve those versus anyone else's goals for you. We cannot look externally for validation if we want to live happy lives!
I hope this was helpful and sending you lots of confident thoughts! :)
Updated
Suzy’s Answer
Hi Liana,
As a millennial, I could say social media played a big role in my self confidence. Social media portrays perfectionism and the fear of missing out. We begin to try to live up to what social media tends to be, but it could create a lot of competition, anxiety, and pressure. I had to take a step back and realize what's being posted online isn't reality. The people behind the lens are normal people who are living through their own issues and go through fears that we all have, which is normal. It's also important to realize that people never post their failures.
Never compare yourself to others and remind yourself that everyone's goals, paths, and lives are different. Always look at what you have achieved in life, no matter how big or small. In my opinion, one of the major factors to build self confidence is to change your mindset to think positive. POSTIVITY IS KEY! "Yes, I CAN do this. I'm NOT nervous, I'm excited." When we become nervous, our heart rate increases and we have that "sick to our stomach" feeling. In other words, we allow our bodies to control our mind. Talk to yourself when you become nervous and learn to control your emotions. That will give you room to build your confidence.
Find a hobby that makes you happy. Do an activity you've never done before. You would be surprised to find out what interests you.
As to letting your parents down- you never will. Sometimes you would have to explain to them why you are choosing a certain path, but no matter what path you choose in life, your parents are there to love and support you always.
Hope this helps!
As a millennial, I could say social media played a big role in my self confidence. Social media portrays perfectionism and the fear of missing out. We begin to try to live up to what social media tends to be, but it could create a lot of competition, anxiety, and pressure. I had to take a step back and realize what's being posted online isn't reality. The people behind the lens are normal people who are living through their own issues and go through fears that we all have, which is normal. It's also important to realize that people never post their failures.
Never compare yourself to others and remind yourself that everyone's goals, paths, and lives are different. Always look at what you have achieved in life, no matter how big or small. In my opinion, one of the major factors to build self confidence is to change your mindset to think positive. POSTIVITY IS KEY! "Yes, I CAN do this. I'm NOT nervous, I'm excited." When we become nervous, our heart rate increases and we have that "sick to our stomach" feeling. In other words, we allow our bodies to control our mind. Talk to yourself when you become nervous and learn to control your emotions. That will give you room to build your confidence.
Find a hobby that makes you happy. Do an activity you've never done before. You would be surprised to find out what interests you.
As to letting your parents down- you never will. Sometimes you would have to explain to them why you are choosing a certain path, but no matter what path you choose in life, your parents are there to love and support you always.
Hope this helps!
Updated
flora’s Answer
When it comes to building confidence the first thing you need to do is believe in yourself. Do you know your strengthens and weakness are you ready to decide on your inner change. Personally i would advice you to build the confidence by being bold enough not for your parents but for yourself . Remember that confidence is the feeling of being sure of yourself and your abilities too.
Updated
Veton’s Answer
First and foremost your parents love you endlessly.
Your parents goal was to have an impact on society and to better the future that's why they had you. They wanted to leave an impact on their own and I'd say they did a great job. What your parents want out of you is for you to feel loved, they you want you to be happy, and most importantly they want you to spread that in today's society to those in need so we can all take a positive step forward.
Don't worry about the career, try new things dive into unknown waters. Take that next risky step so that you can get out of your comfort zone and grow. Once you try new things you will get a click and know where you belong and where you will be the most successful. Look at your skillset and face new challenges so you can build upon them. However take a look at your greatest skill and make sure you master it. You will do well good luck to you.
Your parents goal was to have an impact on society and to better the future that's why they had you. They wanted to leave an impact on their own and I'd say they did a great job. What your parents want out of you is for you to feel loved, they you want you to be happy, and most importantly they want you to spread that in today's society to those in need so we can all take a positive step forward.
Don't worry about the career, try new things dive into unknown waters. Take that next risky step so that you can get out of your comfort zone and grow. Once you try new things you will get a click and know where you belong and where you will be the most successful. Look at your skillset and face new challenges so you can build upon them. However take a look at your greatest skill and make sure you master it. You will do well good luck to you.
Updated
Reema’s Answer
In the end this life is yours. If your parents really have your best interest at heart, they should be happy and proud no matter what you do. I feel as a parent now, as long as my children are happy and working hard at whatever they choose to do I would be proud of them. I would use that same energy for your situation.
There’s a fine line between being selfish and living life on your own terms, and I know it can be hard to find the answer to that question. I think if you have a clear conscience you’re fine, just spend time thinking and talking with them about what their issue is and are they proud of you and if not why not.
There’s a fine line between being selfish and living life on your own terms, and I know it can be hard to find the answer to that question. I think if you have a clear conscience you’re fine, just spend time thinking and talking with them about what their issue is and are they proud of you and if not why not.