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Do you think I should follow the steps my mom want me to do or what I want to do?
#college-major #college #career-counseling #counselor #psychology
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Rebecca’s Answer
This is a question on the communication with your parents. Many parents would have their expectation on their children. It is very common. They intention is for the goodness of their children that you have to appreciate. On the other hand, you have your own interest and dreams to achieve.
I am not sure the difference between their expectation and your interest. However, I would suggest you have an open discussion with your parents to share your interest and what you would like to do. Before the discussion, you would need to prepare for it :
1. What is your interest? What career you plan to do?
2. Why you like to pursue to that career?
3. Try to setup some short term goal / plan
If you can demonstrate to your parents that you have really think about your career path thoroughly and have a decent plan, I believe they would really give you their support. However, you may also need to open minded to listen to their concern and guidance. It would be beneficial for you to consider on your career plan (if necessary).
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
I am not sure the difference between their expectation and your interest. However, I would suggest you have an open discussion with your parents to share your interest and what you would like to do. Before the discussion, you would need to prepare for it :
1. What is your interest? What career you plan to do?
2. Why you like to pursue to that career?
3. Try to setup some short term goal / plan
If you can demonstrate to your parents that you have really think about your career path thoroughly and have a decent plan, I believe they would really give you their support. However, you may also need to open minded to listen to their concern and guidance. It would be beneficial for you to consider on your career plan (if necessary).
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Bob Moore
Supply Chain, Energy. Oil & Gas, Leadership, Management, Careers Overseas
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Bob’s Answer
If you are an adult it time to make your own decisions.
However, the best decisions are informed decisions where you have looked for advise, received advise, read up on advise etc.
As you go through life you will be surrounded by influencers who are trying to get you to do what they want - they have their reasons/agenda. As you start work and progress your career your network will deepen and the number of influencers will increase exponentially. In general all decisions you make will have input from others.
In general - my experience - your mom has your best interest in mind, and hidden with in this is there need to protect you from risk - real or perceived. The best path forward is to listen, discuss, understand, debate and agree/disagree. Moms generally know you best and tell you things you do not want to know as its true. Speak with her to get understand her concerns and work it out.
This will repeat during your life with you spouse/partner, friends, boss, etc..
Hope this helps
However, the best decisions are informed decisions where you have looked for advise, received advise, read up on advise etc.
As you go through life you will be surrounded by influencers who are trying to get you to do what they want - they have their reasons/agenda. As you start work and progress your career your network will deepen and the number of influencers will increase exponentially. In general all decisions you make will have input from others.
In general - my experience - your mom has your best interest in mind, and hidden with in this is there need to protect you from risk - real or perceived. The best path forward is to listen, discuss, understand, debate and agree/disagree. Moms generally know you best and tell you things you do not want to know as its true. Speak with her to get understand her concerns and work it out.
This will repeat during your life with you spouse/partner, friends, boss, etc..
Hope this helps
Updated
Kevin’s Answer
The context is key- many parents want certain things for their kids in order for the kids to be successful and have a happy and healthy life. Education and career path are often the means of children succeeding in following through with the parent's wishes so you, as their child, can take as good/or better care of yourself and future family as they would or did care for you as a child.
Many parents may have this all mapped out in their heads as to the best route to achieve this success and they may overlay that plan onto their children's lives. Sometimes it is a good fit and the child ends up loving a particular career path (legacy careers- "my father and grandfather were doctors" kinds of things) where joining the line of successful professionals in the family becomes your goal too, and that is wonderful if thats your situation.
Sometimes, however, the parent overlays their plan because it's a path to success they have witnessed or based on their personal experience, but you, as their child may have had more opportunities than they did and as such you now have more opportunities available to you that they did not. You'll need to articulate how your idea will provide for you and yours, as well as how one becomes successful in that chosen field in order to present a convincing case. Rebecca's comment above is absolutely right, if you want to introduce a new possibility to your mother, you have to do the work, research, and prepare for how you'll present the case for your desired plan.
Many parents may have this all mapped out in their heads as to the best route to achieve this success and they may overlay that plan onto their children's lives. Sometimes it is a good fit and the child ends up loving a particular career path (legacy careers- "my father and grandfather were doctors" kinds of things) where joining the line of successful professionals in the family becomes your goal too, and that is wonderful if thats your situation.
Sometimes, however, the parent overlays their plan because it's a path to success they have witnessed or based on their personal experience, but you, as their child may have had more opportunities than they did and as such you now have more opportunities available to you that they did not. You'll need to articulate how your idea will provide for you and yours, as well as how one becomes successful in that chosen field in order to present a convincing case. Rebecca's comment above is absolutely right, if you want to introduce a new possibility to your mother, you have to do the work, research, and prepare for how you'll present the case for your desired plan.
Updated
Ryan’s Answer
Most parents want the best for their kids and offer their advice to help steer you in a rewarding path, but, like many things, advice needs to be filtered with the talents and interests you have personally. Exploring a number of paths you have in mind might be a good way to proceed. Let her know you appreciate her thoughts and you will certainly keep them in mind but you need to explore you own personal vision as well. Sometimes trying things you are interested in before commiting to a program of study is good too. Also, consider talking with a school counselor, or other teacher you respect that knows you well. Focus on the thing you enjoy doing and have been successful at; do some exploring. You have time to select a career path and course of study and within the first two years of college, it is possible to change your focus as also. Sometimes taking a ‘gap year’ to help narrow your focus is helpful too. All in all, be gracious when considering advice, but only you know what feel like a good fit when you find it.
Updated
Angelina’s Answer
Hi Daniel,
I think this is a very tricky situation. A lot of times, the reason why parents want you to pursue a certain career is because they want you to have a career where you can be successful and make a good living to support yourself. They don't want you to end up struggling to make ends meet. on the other hand, you should also do what makes you happy. We work for so much of our lives and I feel like if we're going to spend that much time working, it should be something that makes you happy. My advice would be to research some career options that are related to what you want to do, but also will make decent money. I think one thing to remember is that you don't have to settle immediately on your career. Each opportunity is just a stepping stone to where you're meant to be.
Best of luck!
I think this is a very tricky situation. A lot of times, the reason why parents want you to pursue a certain career is because they want you to have a career where you can be successful and make a good living to support yourself. They don't want you to end up struggling to make ends meet. on the other hand, you should also do what makes you happy. We work for so much of our lives and I feel like if we're going to spend that much time working, it should be something that makes you happy. My advice would be to research some career options that are related to what you want to do, but also will make decent money. I think one thing to remember is that you don't have to settle immediately on your career. Each opportunity is just a stepping stone to where you're meant to be.
Best of luck!
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