5 answers
Ella
Student
Ventura, California
1
Question
Asked
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Should I quit my middle schools band
Being in band is really stressful and is a lot of pressure and it feels like a requirement at this point and I do not really enjoy it and honestly it doesn’t help my confidence at all #help
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5 answers
Zahid Iqbal
Software Engineer
119
Answers
Austin, Texas
Updated
Zahid’s Answer
Middle school is not the place to be stressed out, Drama, sports and other co-curricular activities are there to be enjoyed. If they are being stressful and putting pressure on you then perhaps sticking with them might not be the best course of action. Do not feel obligated to stick to it if it is hurting your confidence rather then helping it. There are other options you can explore.
Thank you! This was helpful and made making this decision easier
Ella
Darren Parke
Product Manager
4
Answers
Trappe, PA
Updated
Darren’s Answer
Hi Ella,
Sorry to hear that band has gotten you stressed out. I can understand how you feel, I got stressed out during my middle school band days too. I agree with Zahid’s advice that if it feels like it’s gotten to be too much than you can definitely explore other options that might be a better fit for you. Alternatively is there a music teacher or band director you can speak to for some help? Things change and in a few weeks or months you might find band is less stressful and that you’re enjoying it. Some of my best friends in middle school and high school came out of band; wouldn’t want you to miss out on that if the stress you’re feeling now turns out to be temporary.
Best of luck,
Darren
Sorry to hear that band has gotten you stressed out. I can understand how you feel, I got stressed out during my middle school band days too. I agree with Zahid’s advice that if it feels like it’s gotten to be too much than you can definitely explore other options that might be a better fit for you. Alternatively is there a music teacher or band director you can speak to for some help? Things change and in a few weeks or months you might find band is less stressful and that you’re enjoying it. Some of my best friends in middle school and high school came out of band; wouldn’t want you to miss out on that if the stress you’re feeling now turns out to be temporary.
Best of luck,
Darren
David Weight, MS
Digital Marketing
24
Answers
Lansing, Michigan
Updated
David’s Answer
This is a tough one to answer as I am both a parent of soon-to-be middle schoolers as well as a former non-voluntary band participant (band was required at my school).
If it something that enjoy doing - you like playing your instrument and making music - then you shouldn't quit because it's hard. Learning to fight for the things that you enjoy in life is a skill you will want to carry with you throughout your life. If you enjoy it then make it a priority and find ways to reduce other obligations to make it work.
If, on the other hand, band was something you were interested in trying and have since found that you don't enjoy it, then it's totally okay to give it up. At your age life is all about trying new things and learning what you like. As a parent, I've put my kids into dozens of different sports and activities in an attempt to help them discover their passions. Some of taken hold and others have been a bust. You're not a quitter or failure if you move on to something else; you gave it a shot and it didn't work, but at least you tried.
If it something that enjoy doing - you like playing your instrument and making music - then you shouldn't quit because it's hard. Learning to fight for the things that you enjoy in life is a skill you will want to carry with you throughout your life. If you enjoy it then make it a priority and find ways to reduce other obligations to make it work.
If, on the other hand, band was something you were interested in trying and have since found that you don't enjoy it, then it's totally okay to give it up. At your age life is all about trying new things and learning what you like. As a parent, I've put my kids into dozens of different sports and activities in an attempt to help them discover their passions. Some of taken hold and others have been a bust. You're not a quitter or failure if you move on to something else; you gave it a shot and it didn't work, but at least you tried.
Jaycee Silva
PeopleOps Program Manager
17
Answers
El Dorado Hills, California
Updated
Jaycee’s Answer
When I was in middle school, I moved and change schools about a quarter way into eighth grade. At my previous school, I was in choir and at first I enjoyed it but by the time I had switched schools, it was no longer fulfilling. I had become stressed and anxious. At my new school the guidance counselor put me in choir since I had previously been in it. I did not stand up for myself and was sad to have to be in choir again.
At this new school, the teacher was very harsh and I did not feel comfortable with the class. I stressed everyday before that class. One day we had to do a singing test in front of the whole class. I cried and asked to be solo in a room by myself and the teacher humiliated me in front of everyone. I did awful as I sang through tears at this woman. My confidence plummeted and still to this day, I have fear of singing in front of others.
My advice is, if you feel that this is not fulfilling, find another elective that is. You won't be letting anyone down and you might even feel better. You are young and deserve to be stress free. Plus, these type of things are forced on children in school and then once you are in the class, you have some sort of obligation to continue this "skill" because the education system offered it to you. But you don't have to stick with it. You might like an art class or computer elective instead.
You have years to find what works for you. Play today and don't worry about that band.
At this new school, the teacher was very harsh and I did not feel comfortable with the class. I stressed everyday before that class. One day we had to do a singing test in front of the whole class. I cried and asked to be solo in a room by myself and the teacher humiliated me in front of everyone. I did awful as I sang through tears at this woman. My confidence plummeted and still to this day, I have fear of singing in front of others.
My advice is, if you feel that this is not fulfilling, find another elective that is. You won't be letting anyone down and you might even feel better. You are young and deserve to be stress free. Plus, these type of things are forced on children in school and then once you are in the class, you have some sort of obligation to continue this "skill" because the education system offered it to you. But you don't have to stick with it. You might like an art class or computer elective instead.
You have years to find what works for you. Play today and don't worry about that band.
Anthony E. Baldwin
Personal & Professional Development
3
Answers
Monaca, Pennsylvania
Updated
Anthony E.’s Answer
Hello Ella,
First, I want to say I there is merit in both of the previous responses I read. I would like to offer another perspective. Go back to the beginning. Why did you join your band in the first place? What experience do you want from it? And what is interfering with that experience? To be perfectly honest, I do not know if middle school is too early to try this, but here goes, try to resolve whatever is messing this up for you. I'm old, LOL, and have had many jobs and joined many activities, I played the Cello in our school orchestra. I loved it and I was quite good at it. Unfortunately, the conductor at that time didn't love me. After 6 years (9-15), and many accomplishments, it was just a bad situation and I quit. Early on I had a job I loved but that too came with people that made it unpleasant and I quit. At some point I decided I would not let others decide what I did, especially when I enjoyed doing it. So, I started learning how to make the situation better, which sometimes was as simple as not letting other people get to me. If you really loved the band, see if there is a way to resolve the stress and get back to why you joined in the first place.
Again, middle school may be too early to get this but, no one can take away your confidence or make you feel bad without your permission.
Talk to a counselor or the conductor or a friend and see if there is a way to bring back your joy.
First, I want to say I there is merit in both of the previous responses I read. I would like to offer another perspective. Go back to the beginning. Why did you join your band in the first place? What experience do you want from it? And what is interfering with that experience? To be perfectly honest, I do not know if middle school is too early to try this, but here goes, try to resolve whatever is messing this up for you. I'm old, LOL, and have had many jobs and joined many activities, I played the Cello in our school orchestra. I loved it and I was quite good at it. Unfortunately, the conductor at that time didn't love me. After 6 years (9-15), and many accomplishments, it was just a bad situation and I quit. Early on I had a job I loved but that too came with people that made it unpleasant and I quit. At some point I decided I would not let others decide what I did, especially when I enjoyed doing it. So, I started learning how to make the situation better, which sometimes was as simple as not letting other people get to me. If you really loved the band, see if there is a way to resolve the stress and get back to why you joined in the first place.
Anthony E. recommends the following next steps: