3 answers
Dani
Student
Millbrook, New York
5
Questions
Asked
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Is it hard to leave the children if necessary?
Is it hard to leave the children after a bond is made? How do you go about it knowing they may not be happy or safe?
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3 answers
mark vellucci
Licensed Professional Counselor
38
Answers
Vancouver, Washington
Updated
mark’s Answer
In short, YES. I always tried to make sure another placement had been arranged for them before I left. I tried to explain in age-related appropriate terms that my departure had nothing to do with them, and I would try to emphasize the positive aspects the person they would be seeing next.
It is not easy to leave. I have felt guilty at times, disappointed at others. Acceptance of your circumstances is key to being able to effectively move on.
It is not easy to leave. I have felt guilty at times, disappointed at others. Acceptance of your circumstances is key to being able to effectively move on.
All of these answers were great and greatly appreciated
Dani
David Slay
community / clinical psychologist (retired)
25
Answers
Seal Beach, California
Updated
David’s Answer
Hi Dani - It may be helpful to remember we all have different kinds of relationships with different people, depending on the circumstances. There are parent-child relationships, teacher-student, close friends, team mates, casual acquaintances, etc. Also I'm sure you're aware that relationships have "boundaries," or informal (and sometimes formal) rules about what behaviors are expected or appropriate within the relationship. It's great to hang out with friends, for example, but it wouldn't be appropriate to hang out on the weekend with one of your school teachers. Providing counseling or mental health services to children requires a "professional" relationship, which means we're there to help them solve their problems. It's very appropriate for certain feelings to be a part of the relationship, like genuine interest, empathy, honesty, trust, and nonjudgmentalness. Also some sadness or worry about the relationship ending is not only appropriate, having your feelings acknowledged and understood can itself be therapeutic part of the process. For some children, especially those who have been abandoned or mistreated, they may never have experienced an "normal" end to a relationship. However, if there are concerns about safety, during or after the relationship, those have to be addressed objectively, and asking for some supervision or case consultation with a child protection agency might be needed.
thank you! this was helpful
Dani
Wendy Steffani
Clinician/Child Therapist
3
Answers
Moreno Valley, California
Updated
Wendy’s Answer
Yes, as humans we develop bonds with people we work with, including clients. It’s always sad to say goodbye but it also means they are doing well so I feel happy for them, too!
thank you!
Dani