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When did you feel like you had a solid direction in life? Career-wise. Or generally??

When did you feel like you had a solid direction in life? Career-wise. Or generally?

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Molly’s Answer

Such a good question that I still ask myself at 30! You know those people who knew they wanted to be a doctor or lawyer at age 10? Yeah, that was never me either. I've always been a little envious of those individuals who had clarity about their careers early in their lives, as their path does seem so much more straightforward if you know your destination. The truth is, though, most people experience some degree of uncertainty about their future. In my experience, this uncertainty doesn't seem to go away entirely as we age, but it certainly becomes easier to manage.

My advice is to focus on discovering what truly makes you happy and provides you with a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes, knowing what makes us feel content and purposeful in life can help guide us toward our ideal careers.

On the note of finding meaning and happiness in life, I would like to share some valuable life lessons I've gleaned from the excellent book "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig:

1) Our choices define us: The protagonist, Nora Seed, explores various versions of her life in parallel universes, discovering that every decision she's made has led her to where she is now. This underscores the importance of making mindful, deliberate choices that resonate with our values and help us reach our goals.

2) Regret is a natural part of life: Nora's journey through the Midnight Library is fueled by her regrets and her desire to rectify past mistakes. She learns that regret is a normal and necessary emotion that can teach us and support our personal growth. It's essential not to dwell on our regrets but to utilize them as opportunities for reflection and improved decision-making.

3) Life is unpredictable: The Midnight Library illustrates that life is full of surprises, both positive and negative. It's a valuable reminder that we cannot control everything that occurs in our lives, but we can decide how we react to it. Learning to accept life's unpredictability and find meaning in our experiences, even if they do not align with our initial plans, can be incredibly empowering.

4) Happiness is a journey, not a destination: Throughout the book, Nora searches for happiness and fulfillment in various forms, such as success, relationships, and travel. She comes to understand that happiness is not an end goal but rather an ongoing process of exploring and unearthing what brings us joy and purpose.

5) Every life has value: A central theme of The Midnight Library is the notion that every life is valuable and worth living. Nora catches glimpses of the impact she has on others, and how her existence has made a difference in the world. This narrative emphasizes the importance of recognizing our self-worth and finding meaning in our lives, irrespective of the magnitude of our contributions.

I apologize for the mini-book review, but my love for books is inherited from my librarian mother! Reading thought-provoking works such as "The Midnight Library" can be incredibly helpful when navigating the various stages of career growth and personal development, offering insights that make the journey more rewarding and enlightening.

Molly recommends the following next steps:

Read some thought-provoking books that spark reflection
Thank you comment icon I couldn't agree more Molly! At 54, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And while my career has not been a progression "up the ladder", I do what (a) I like doing, as long as (b) it pays the bills. So do what gives you joy, life is too short. And x10 on The Midnight Library - it's a great book (I think I've read it 3 times!). The audio version is read by British actress Carey Mulligan and she does an amazing job. Elaine Comyn
Thank you comment icon Love the recommendation for Midnight Library, such a fun and insightful read. I'd also recommend the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - thought provoking and also provides a lot of opportunity for reflection. Nick Cull
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Richard J (Rich)’s Answer

As all the above said - it is not an easy question and it takes some trial and tribulation to get there. Some people have this inner sense they have always known what they "want to be." But, most of us don't and have to try out the working world to get there. As Andee says above - it finally comes down to your passion (that's the word I always us). But, really sorting out what that passion is takes time - and you may not know what it is today.

So, it starts with your gut as well as the opportunities to be in the work force. Then it moves to getting a sense of what really drives you to wake up every morning and go to work (your passion). Let's be realistic - it may take some time to achieve your final goal and you may have to do some things that are not exactly the solution - but stepping stones to get there as you may have to work in not your exact place for personal, family, or financial reasons. Then work to you passion.

I went with my gut and joined the US Air Force enlisted not knowing what that will bring. I found that I had a passion to be a public servant by serving my country and helping others. So, I pursued opportunities after a long USAF Career to meet that passion either at work or with volunteer opportunities. As most said above, it is not a scripted life for most - it is an adventure of trials and tribulations until something grabs you. I hope you have the opportunity to take that journey
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Tova’s Answer

I think this can differ greatly depending on who you ask. For me personally, I didn't even know my job existed until I was 26. I think I found the most peace and happiness with my life when I became open to the idea that it is so difficult to know where you will be in a few years. So much can happen. From my experience, it's been amazing.
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Nick’s Answer

I can't say there was one specific moment in time where I had realized that a shift had taken place. That I was suddenly where I was supposed to be, doing where I was supposed to be doing, and feeling the way I was supposed to feel while doing it. For many people, those feelings and observations come in waves. Which in some ways, is a good thing.

One of those three sensations may be in flux and potentially by your own doing. By your own newly developed desire, interest, or calling. It's up to you to decide whether or not you want to take action on it. If you're anything like me - those feelings and questions will always be on your mind. Some questions I ask myself to help think clearly through those considerations:

- Does this get me closer to where I want to be in life?
- Does this align with my core values?
- Is this something that I can take pride in doing?

In Matthew McConaughey's 2014 Oscar acceptance speech he describes the three things he needs in his life to keep him going and keep him centered:

- Someone to look up to
- Something to look forward
- Something to chase after

I think about this a lot, often alongside those same questions above that I ask myself. If I am satisfied with my answers to those questions and they align with one or more of those three things mentioned above - it's usually a sign I should take the leap and do whatever it is that I was on the fence about.

All of that to say, the marker is constantly moving. It's up to you to develop your own means of navigating that ever changing landscape - just make sure you put your happiness and wellbeing (as well as your loved ones) at the center of your decision making.
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James’s Answer

Wow you are a forward thinker!

I had no plan when I left high school. It seemed like suddenly "I am out of high school and everyone else was going to college" and I was left scratching my head! I went to college 6 months late and achieved a Bachelor's Degree in Marketing.

While I am digressing a bit I want to make something very clear. Just because you may get a degree, don't expect careers to come knocking at your door! You still have to keep selling yourself to others and proving your worth. That is something no one ever explained to me.

Once I got out of college I still was working 3 jobs to make ends meet. But the secret for me was to apply for Temp Jobs in business. A wonderful woman interviewed me, saw that I had a degree and had customer service background and she gave me a temp job in my field. I was very fortunate to find a lucrative career in my early 20's and I have been in the same career path 30 years later.

Keep learning and really think about your passions! Those two components will point you to the right career!
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Andee’s Answer

I have been working since the age of 14, part-timing at F&B restaurants and retail outlets, and I started working full-time in my career when I was 25. It has been 8 years since then. I have changed a few companies and job roles - from Marketing to Community Building, and now specializing in Workplace Culture / Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging for internal employees.

I didn't plan ahead to get to where I am today but I know right from the start of my career that I love working with people and have a passion for community building. Even though I might have worked in different companies and held various job titles in the past 8 years, my job always involves working closely with people and building meaningful connections. I follow that ethos in life.

Ask yourself a question - "What am I passionate about?". You don't need to have all the answers to what you are going to do in your career but you would know what you don't like or are less motivated by. If you don't have those answers either, I would suggest trying as you go and finding those answers bit by bit through your journey. You can always pivot and change course in your career-building journey - that's okay. Enjoy the process of learning and finding your way!
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Jon.’s Answer

Everyone's journey is unique and beautiful in its own way. In my experience, I discovered the perfect career for me around the age of 26, after spending a couple of years exploring different opportunities. But remember, age is just a number, and it's never too late to find your true calling!

What truly matters is that you find something that you're passionate about and that brings you joy. So, focus on the excitement of discovering your true path and trust that you're on the way to a fulfilling and successful future. Keep on exploring, learning, and growing, knowing that the right opportunity will come along when you least expect it. Embrace the journey, and you'll find both personal and professional happiness!
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Trudi’s Answer

I just turned 50 this year and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a lawyer. I then went to college for paralegal and worked in that field for 15 years. In the middle of that, I took a break and sold cars for 8 months because that was my passion - automobiles! I loved that job, but found the hours and the schedule were not going to work for when I wanted to start a family. I went back to being a paralegal. Then, life happens. Things you dont plan for happen. I had a child with a disability and I had wanted to try staying at home with him and not working. I tried doing legal transcription out of my house for three months and then realized I wanted to go back into an office. I found a temp job in an insurance company in their legal department. From there, they told me if I wanted to be promoted to another job, I would need to work in claims for 3 years, so I took a job in short term disability and from there worked in long term disability and I have been doing that line of work for 16 years. So, long story short, there are things you think you want to do, but life happens and one thing turns into another and you end up doing things you never even thought of. Dont put too much pressure on yourself to pick something right now. I think I read that people change jobs 4 times before they are 30 and Im sure some people change jobs more than that.
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Ann’s Answer

Wow so many great answers on here. Like many others that have already commented I never had that aha this is what I want to be moment. It's been a journey discovering my path, and my interests change over time.

The only advice I would add to the discussion is that it is completely OK if the work you do to make an income isn't your passion. If you discover that you real passion isn't something you'll be able to make a career out of that's great too.

There is nothing wrong with choosing a career for the sole purpose that it provides you the ability to focus on your passion. There is no shame in that. You may find gardening is what you absolutely love, but you don't have the means to make a living growing your garden. Then, you might decide to get a job that you like, pays well and you can be done by 4 so you have plenty of sunshine left in the day to spend in the garden. I hope that helps.

Good luck!
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Joonho’s Answer

Wow! This is a truly profound question with no easy answer, much like asking the meaning of life itself. As someone who has spent several decades working in the IT industry, I can tell you that even with talent in computer programming and a comfortable life, I ultimately discovered that the computer field was not the right path for me. Only recently did I find a passion and a natural talent in another area that genuinely interests me.

Though I don't harbor any regrets about my life's journey, I can't help but wonder how different, more productive, and fulfilling my life could have been had I discovered this hidden talent earlier on. However, this doesn't necessarily mean I would have made more money or had a wealthier life. Money, after all, is not the most important thing in life, is it?

What truly matters is discovering a field that you are passionate about and can genuinely enjoy. Pursuing a career that brings you joy can potentially provide a decent living, but it's important to remember that money is not everything, though it remains an essential aspect of life. Many individuals find themselves working in jobs that they dislike or even despise simply because they need to survive and make a living.

In an ideal situation, you will find a career you love and earn a comfortable living early on in life. However, for those who aren't as fortunate, you may only have the opportunity to pursue your passion later in life, as was the case for me.

What I'm attempting to convey is that there is no one-size-fits-all direction in life. Life is a journey without a fixed destination, making our origins and our final destinations unknown. In light of this, what we do along the way may not be as important as experiencing life itself and surviving. Thriving and fulfilling our dreams is simply an added bonus.

I wholeheartedly hope you find a solid direction in your life and pursue your passions while maintaining a healthy balance of work and enjoyment.
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Nisha’s Answer

Hi Alyssa! I have some uplifting advice that I would share with my younger self, and I hope it brings you some encouragement too. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, and we all find our path at different times. I had a strong inclination towards being an attorney since I was 5, and while I pursued that dream, life sometimes had other plans. I became sick during law school and had to take a break, which allowed me to re-evaluate my goals and desires.

At 35, I'm still refining my life's direction, but I know that my dreams of becoming a lawyer and a judge are still very much alive. What's important is that I've come to understand that life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Embracing this mindset means I'm ready to accept life's twists, turns, and detours, all while trusting that my dreams will happen when the time is right.

So, don't worry if you don't have it all figured out right now. There's no specific age or milestone when everything will just click into place. It could happen at 25 or even 55! What matters most is that you take your time, enjoy the journey, and trust that everything will fall into place eventually. Sending you all the positivity and best wishes for your exciting life journey ahead!
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Patrick’s Answer

Alyssa thank you for reaching out and asking your questions regarding when I felt like I had a solid direction in life. For me I was sort of forced into obtaining a solid foundational direction for how my life was going to be. The way I grew up I did not have a choice but to figure out what I wanted out of life and how I was going to obtain it. I hope the information that I have below provides you some insight and/or help.

Your inquiry about establishing a firm direction in life, especially from a career standpoint, is a universal one. Speaking from my own experience, I began to feel a solid sense of direction in my career after about three to four years. It took a while to accumulate meaningful experience, establish a network, and truly comprehend the intricacies of my field.

In the early stages, I was primarily focused on learning and adjusting to the job's demands. As I became more familiar with the field, I began to identify trends in my interests, strengths, and areas of expertise. This self-awareness, combined with a more profound understanding of the industry, empowered me to make well-informed decisions about my career trajectory.

Lastly, it's crucial for you to realize that discovering a firm career direction is often a progressive journey, shaped by experiences, ongoing learning, and shifting goals. I urge you to remain receptive to new possibilities, seek guidance, and welcome challenges as they can significantly contribute to your professional development and the eventual clarity you seek in your career path.
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Mark’s Answer

I'm 45 and my career direction and life has ebbed and flowed. Like most I fell in to jobs and you can easily get pigeon holed at a young age, don't!!! Move around different industries and try learn from different people. At about 35 I started to really understand my values, what makes me happy and where do I get my energy from. i.e. i realized I liked helping people with Wellness in the workplace or career conversations. Since then have looked to work in roles and company's that share similar values, Wellness, People first and respect. So my holistic advise is understand your values (loads of stuff on the internet) use these to guide your decision making ie where to work and what to study etc. and you'll end up with solid direction. Last thing continually work on your self belief!! tell yourself your doing great and you'll be great.
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Desirae’s Answer

Wow, that's such a great question to ask! You know, I didn't discover my true career passion until this year, and I'm already 28 years old. Surprisingly, I found myself loving banking, and now I'm a teller at Citizens Bank. I have to say, they treat their employees amazingly well. It's been a challenge to find a company that not only pays well but also creates a positive work environment. After all, the right kind of energy in the workplace is essential for happiness, even if you're doing something you love. So, don't you worry – sometimes, we find our path when we least expect it! 😊
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Gus’s Answer

It really could be any time! One of the hardest but most interesting parts of life is that it feels like our direction can change at any time. I have found that doing things that are valuable to you (whether those are long or short-term) are the best guides for life's direction. When you establish the important things in your life, things like your career and other life decisions can follow thereafter.
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Joseph’s Answer

That's a truly fantastic question! It's essential to understand that people tend to find motivation in various ways, often driven by three major elements. Firstly, the prospect of benefits or financial rewards can provide a compelling direction. Secondly, personal growth – encompassing the acquisition of new knowledge or skills – can be a powerful motivator. Lastly, the desire to be a part of something greater than oneself, making a meaningful contribution to a higher purpose, can inspire and give purpose. With these exciting factors in mind, there are endless opportunities to feel motivated and encouraged in life!
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Stephanie’s Answer

Determining the direction of life and discovering one's true passion can be an extremely challenging and often overwhelming process. In order to gain a clearer understanding of where your interests lie, it's essential to maintain an open and receptive mindset towards various opportunities, industries, professions, and experiences that the world has to offer.

Being open to opportunities involves stepping outside of your comfort zone and embracing new experiences, whether it's attending networking events, enrolling in workshops, or volunteering in different sectors. By doing so, you expose yourself to diverse perspectives and ideas, which may help you uncover hidden interests and passions.

Exploring a variety of industries is equally important, as it allows you to gain a better understanding of the multitude of career paths available to you. Research various fields, speak to professionals within those industries, and even consider internships to gain hands-on experience. This will enable you to make more informed decisions about your future and potentially identify an area that resonates strongly with you.

Considering different job opportunities can also be advantageous in finding your passion. While it might be tempting to focus solely on what you perceive as your "dream job," it's crucial to remember that there may be a multitude of roles that align with your interests and skillset. Don't limit yourself by only pursuing one specific job; instead, be open to exploring different career prospects, as these experiences may lead you to find a role that you never knew would bring you satisfaction and fulfillment.

Broadening your horizons by engaging with the world around you is another crucial factor in figuring out your life's direction. Traveling, learning new languages, attending cultural events, and connecting with people from diverse backgrounds can enlighten you about alternative lifestyles, values, and aspirations that you may have never considered before. These encounters may inspire you and open up a whole new realm of possibilities for both personal growth and career development.

In conclusion, finding the direction of life and uncovering your true passion is a complex and deeply personal journey. To successfully navigate this path, it's essential to remain open-minded and receptive to the countless opportunities, industries, jobs, and experiences around you. Through this exploration, you will not only broaden your perspectives but also increase the likelihood of discovering a fulfilling and purposeful career that aligns with your passions.
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Chris’s Answer

Oh wow, what a fantastic question you've got there! I'm really loving the insightful answers everyone's sharing here. You know, it's great to frequently ask yourself and others this question because the responses will likely change as time goes by. For instance, when I was 20, I would've given you a different answer than I would now, and maybe by the time I'm 40, it'll change yet again.

I remember when I was fresh out of high school, I was all about setting goals and racing towards the finish line. Crossing it felt amazing, like when I achieved a personal best in running or read a certain number of books in a year. But after accomplishing those goals, I realized it was better to see them as milestones, guiding me to the next level, and pushing me to continuously learn and ask questions.

You never know, after 10 years in one career, learning something new could completely change your path and lead you to something you're super passionate about! So, my advice is not to stress too much about finding that *perfect* direction right away. Instead, focus on enjoying the journey, the people you'll meet, the experiences you'll have, and the skills you'll gain. They all work together to shape you into an even more amazing person!
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ANDI’s Answer

I joined the military at 33 and now at 41 I finally feel like I've found my groove in life!
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James Constantine’s Answer

Subject: Crafting a Purposeful Life Journey: A Guided Approach

Dear Alyssa,

Embarking on the Quest for Life's Purpose:

Funny thing, I felt I had sure direction when people needed help. I am a rescuer, as I have been since my days as a life saver.

The quest for a definitive life path, be it in terms of career or life in general, is a monumental endeavor that many of us aspire to conquer. This pursuit often intertwines elements of self-realization, exploration, hands-on experience, and thoughtful contemplation. The path to carving out a clear direction is unique to each individual and can be shaped by personal values, interests, abilities, opportunities, and external influences. Here are some pivotal elements that can aid in cultivating a sense of purpose and direction in life:

Self-Realization: Gaining a deep understanding of oneself is a key step towards pinpointing the right life path. This involves recognizing your strengths, areas for improvement, values, passions, and aspirations. Self-reflection and introspection are integral to this process.

Exploration and Trial-and-Error: Dabbling in diverse experiences, hobbies, courses, internships, or jobs can help individuals unearth their interests and talents. By experimenting, one can glean crucial insights into what truly resonates with them and where their strengths lie.

Goal Setting: Crafting clear objectives instills a sense of purpose and direction. Formulating both immediate and long-term goals enables individuals to channel their efforts towards attaining specific milestones that align with their dreams.

Mentorship: Engaging with mentors or role models who have tasted success in their respective domains can offer guidance and inspiration. Mentors can provide invaluable advice drawn from their own experiences and assist in navigating the intricacies of career progression.

Lifelong Learning: Cultivating a mindset of continual learning is vital for personal and professional growth. Acquiring new skills, knowledge, and expertise not only amplifies one’s capabilities but also paves the way for new opportunities for advancement.

Adaptability: Embracing change and being adaptable to shifting circumstances is key in preserving a sense of direction in life. Flexibility enables individuals to tweak their plans as required and grasp unexpected opportunities that may surface.

Passion and Purpose: Discovering a profession that aligns with one’s passion and sense of purpose can yield fulfillment and satisfaction. Pursuing a career that echoes your values and interests can result in a more gratifying and rewarding professional journey.

Personal Journey:

In my own odyssey towards carving out a definitive life path, I discovered that it was not a straight path but rather a labyrinth of twists and turns that eventually guided me to my current destination. Through self-exploration, ambitious goal setting, mentorship from industry veterans, continuous learning from varied experiences, adaptation to changes along the journey, and following my passion for assisting others via technology (as an AI Search Engine), I gradually attained clarity about my career trajectory and overall life direction.

Top 3 Credible References Used:

Harvard Business Review (HBR): HBR is renowned for its top-notch articles on leadership, management practices, career development strategies, and personal growth insights, all supported by research-based evidence from experts across various fields.

Forbes: Forbes is a trusted source for business news, entrepreneurial advice, career guidance, leadership insights, and success stories from global industry leaders.

Psychology Today: Psychology Today provides valuable resources on self-discovery methods, personal development strategies, mental health insights related to career choices, and goal setting tips rooted in psychological research findings.

Stay Blessed,
JC.
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Steph’s Answer

I'll let you know when I do! Kidding, kinda.

Career-wise, I was in my mid to late 20's I found my career (Recruiting) and had bounced between retail and administrative work. I like to check in with myself several times a year to make sure I'm still fulfilled and challenged in my career path. During the times I haven't been as challenged, I'll push myself to take on side projects, help a newb to the industry, mentor others and upskill myself. You shouldn't expect to always love your life or career choice, that's just not realistic. I think you can expect that your life and career will have moments of great joy and pride, and times when you just feel lost. Building a network of people around you that can help you through the lows and celebrate the highs is the best advice I can give. Make sure those people will be honest with you about your choices and help pick you up when you fall.

Adulting ain't easy, but the reward for the work to do it well is immeasurable.

Good luck, friend!
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Michael’s Answer

Alyssa,

I was very confident in my career direction as soon as I completed HS. I quickly realized I was not prepared at all. After a couple years at a community college, I had to take a break and focus on me and really determine the best direction for myself. Although most of my professional experiences have been in the same field, I have been open to making moves that make sense in the moment. Because of this flexibility I have learned more, impacted more, and found happiness in my career and created a better work life balance along the way.

You got this!
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