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How do I become my own person ?
I want to be able to work on myself and be ready for my future. That's not really taught in school and I'm just expected to learn and make mistakes when mistakes can't be made that often for me. I hope for help please and thank you in advance.
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6 answers
Updated
Jerome’s Answer
What has helped me is having a mindset that I am going to be ready for anything that comes my way. I listen to podcasts, watch Ted talks, attend conferences and anything else where I can learn more.
Nobody is perfect and if you try, you should view your “mistakes” as learning opportunities. You have to give yourself space to have missteps while learning.
Finding a mentor who was willing to be honest with me was important.
Lastly, ask those you know and trust what you are good at and what you can work on. Do this with key teachers and employers. Shows you want to get better and will help you keep putting your energy in the right place.
Nobody is perfect and if you try, you should view your “mistakes” as learning opportunities. You have to give yourself space to have missteps while learning.
Finding a mentor who was willing to be honest with me was important.
Lastly, ask those you know and trust what you are good at and what you can work on. Do this with key teachers and employers. Shows you want to get better and will help you keep putting your energy in the right place.
I am really grateful you took the time to answer this question.
Sharon
Updated
Bella’s Answer
Hi Sharon, first of all I would like to note how brave it is of you to ask this question. Looking internally to see how we can be better is hard for many adults to do so I would like to commend you on being so intentional. Next I would like you to know there are no such things as "mistakes" only lessons learned. If something doesn't work out you didn't mess up you just learned that's not the best way to do it, this goes for jobs, relationships and personal development.
I would suggest going into every aspect of life with a curious mindset. Why didn't that work? Why am I afraid of the outcome? Where does this thought process stem from? And allow yourself to digest whatever information comes your way from an objective standpoint that these are simply facts so that you can plan your next steps. If you want to learn fewer lessons "the hard way" weigh your pros and cons before making a move/decision ask others who have been in that position why they chose the path they did. If you do this what are the possible positive outcomes and what are the possible risks? Does that payout outweigh the risk OR are you in a position that even if the risk is significantly higher than the pay out you are able to absorb the risk?
I will leave you with this. The only thing in life that is guaranteed is that it will evolve. Don't get stuck on where you are in any singular moment because tomorrow you could be in a completely different place physically/mentally/financially. Always strive for growth from yesterday even if it's small steps it's still moving in the right direction, give yourself grace if you fall a little behind but keep yourself accountable to not fall off completely. You got this!
I would suggest going into every aspect of life with a curious mindset. Why didn't that work? Why am I afraid of the outcome? Where does this thought process stem from? And allow yourself to digest whatever information comes your way from an objective standpoint that these are simply facts so that you can plan your next steps. If you want to learn fewer lessons "the hard way" weigh your pros and cons before making a move/decision ask others who have been in that position why they chose the path they did. If you do this what are the possible positive outcomes and what are the possible risks? Does that payout outweigh the risk OR are you in a position that even if the risk is significantly higher than the pay out you are able to absorb the risk?
I will leave you with this. The only thing in life that is guaranteed is that it will evolve. Don't get stuck on where you are in any singular moment because tomorrow you could be in a completely different place physically/mentally/financially. Always strive for growth from yesterday even if it's small steps it's still moving in the right direction, give yourself grace if you fall a little behind but keep yourself accountable to not fall off completely. You got this!
Updated
Picard Larisse Dona’s Answer
Just like you, when I was in school, I was unsure about how to initiate an activity or establish my own business. To accomplish this, the first step is to identify the industry that resonates with you, where you'd like to kickstart your venture. There's an abundance of sectors today where you can prosper through entrepreneurship.
Next, pinpoint your passions and see if any align with the business sector you're interested in. It's crucial to have a deep-seated passion and possess skills in your chosen field when you're starting a business. This will help ensure you stay committed to your project and don't give up midway.
Lastly, devise a plan to reach your entrepreneurial aspirations. Set clear objectives that will serve as your compass throughout the execution of your project. Remember, the key elements are - choosing the right sector, leveraging personal skills and passion, and setting achievable objectives. Embrace these steps and you'll be well on your way to creating a successful business.
Next, pinpoint your passions and see if any align with the business sector you're interested in. It's crucial to have a deep-seated passion and possess skills in your chosen field when you're starting a business. This will help ensure you stay committed to your project and don't give up midway.
Lastly, devise a plan to reach your entrepreneurial aspirations. Set clear objectives that will serve as your compass throughout the execution of your project. Remember, the key elements are - choosing the right sector, leveraging personal skills and passion, and setting achievable objectives. Embrace these steps and you'll be well on your way to creating a successful business.
Thanks for the advice.
Sharon
Updated
Joshua’s Answer
To truly blossom into your unique self, it's essential to first find comfort in your own skin. Cherish and love yourself for all that makes you unique, and embrace what sets you apart from the crowd. Surround yourself with a variety of viewpoints and a diverse group of people. Explore the world, visit new places, and immerse yourself in different experiences. By doing all this, you'll not only accept yourself but also broaden your perspective of the world, making you a more well-rounded individual.
Thank you so much!
Sharon
Alan Weber
writer and retired teacher, teacher educator and academic advisor
207
Answers
Woodstock, New York
Updated
Alan’s Answer
I love this question. Merely asking it is a huge first step. The answer isn't simple, though. If it were, there wouldn't be so many people who aren't. One thing one can do is to develop one's own opinions rather than accepting what's presented to you by peers, media or parents as fact. To do so requires serious, self-driven learning and developing a sense of what feels right to you based on your values, experiences and instincts. I think that most people, when they try to assert their individuality and independence, go to extremes to differentiate themselves. They're not really becoming their own person that way, they're just taking an opposite view, which isn't free thinking. Read philosophy, read poetry, write whatever inspires you, go to a variety of places, meet a diversity of people... break free.
You can't avoid mistakes, and you shouldn't try, they're necessary learning tools. You just have to have firm boundaries so mistakes don't become catastrophes. You write that "mistakes can't be made that often for me." I sense that there's something deeper there, perhaps expectations being put on you or personal difficulties you're dealing with. I hope you're exaggerating, that what you might be referring to is the common fear of failure. I wish I knew more to be able to better respond to that.
I think you're right that what you're focusing on isn't taught in school. School much more often teaches conformity, obedience and roboticism, exactly what's not needed on a personal or societal level. College can be different, though it isn't always. You might want to explore surveys, such as those on MyPlan.com, which can help clarify one's values, skills and interests, along with a career path which suits them well.
I could go on philosophizing about this question, but my sense is that what you most need is plain old confidence and belief in yourself. Again, the mere fact that you're asking this, that you want to "work on (yourself)" indicates to me that you're already ahead of the game, that you're an intelligent, thoughtful, principled person, serious... maybe too serious. What you're asking for doesn't happen that fast, it's a process, but it's also not generally expected of you that fast. Stop worrying.
You can't avoid mistakes, and you shouldn't try, they're necessary learning tools. You just have to have firm boundaries so mistakes don't become catastrophes. You write that "mistakes can't be made that often for me." I sense that there's something deeper there, perhaps expectations being put on you or personal difficulties you're dealing with. I hope you're exaggerating, that what you might be referring to is the common fear of failure. I wish I knew more to be able to better respond to that.
I think you're right that what you're focusing on isn't taught in school. School much more often teaches conformity, obedience and roboticism, exactly what's not needed on a personal or societal level. College can be different, though it isn't always. You might want to explore surveys, such as those on MyPlan.com, which can help clarify one's values, skills and interests, along with a career path which suits them well.
I could go on philosophizing about this question, but my sense is that what you most need is plain old confidence and belief in yourself. Again, the mere fact that you're asking this, that you want to "work on (yourself)" indicates to me that you're already ahead of the game, that you're an intelligent, thoughtful, principled person, serious... maybe too serious. What you're asking for doesn't happen that fast, it's a process, but it's also not generally expected of you that fast. Stop worrying.
I appreciate the long and thoughtful answer. I thank you a lot for it and will listen to yours and the others advice. Yours hit harder however, it shows ways to find myself. Thank you really. Have a great day.
Sharon
Updated
Charly’s Answer
Hi! good morning! In your younger age open your mind to new things, learn about everything, learn from your older, keep your common sense sharp, its ok to make mistakes, learn from that mistakes in order to grow in the right path. over the time you gonna to develop your personality, your passion, what you love, your purpose in this life.
Thank you so much, Charly!
Sharon