4 answers
Elly
Student
Wildwood, New Jersey
1
Question
Asked
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How to be better at being social ?
I want to get better at being more social and being able to talk to people well without getting nervous.
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4 answers
Paul Goetzinger MPA
Academic and Career Consultant and Freelance Writer
751
Answers
Seattle, Washington
Updated
Paul’s Answer
Many of us have socialization challenges, I know that I definitely did, when I was younger.
I realized that sitting at home and not getting out in the community was not helping. Sitting in an isolated environment was doing nothing for my insecurity and low self esteem. Matter of fact doing anything in isolation (even school work), was not helping my academics.
Paul Hornung, the great Notre Dame Heisman Trophy winner, was once asked how he got good at socializing, academics, and athletics. He replied: "practice..practice...practice."
You will need to go to environments where people are and begin to practice talking to people. This includes libraries, athletic events, study groups, malls..etc
Ask people questions, ask for assistance finding something. Ask the librarian about where to find resources or certain books. The best way to start a contact is to start with a simple "hello" and then asking questions. Asking for assistance is the best way to start a conversation and practice the art of socialization.
Over time, with practice, your confidence and self esteem will grow, especially if you are in an environment where you can practice socializing and not feel uncomfortable or threatened.
I realized that sitting at home and not getting out in the community was not helping. Sitting in an isolated environment was doing nothing for my insecurity and low self esteem. Matter of fact doing anything in isolation (even school work), was not helping my academics.
Paul Hornung, the great Notre Dame Heisman Trophy winner, was once asked how he got good at socializing, academics, and athletics. He replied: "practice..practice...practice."
You will need to go to environments where people are and begin to practice talking to people. This includes libraries, athletic events, study groups, malls..etc
Ask people questions, ask for assistance finding something. Ask the librarian about where to find resources or certain books. The best way to start a contact is to start with a simple "hello" and then asking questions. Asking for assistance is the best way to start a conversation and practice the art of socialization.
Over time, with practice, your confidence and self esteem will grow, especially if you are in an environment where you can practice socializing and not feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Rebecca Tang
Banking
1868
Answers
Hong Kong
Updated
Rebecca’s Answer
Thank you for your question. Many students have similar question. This is a good question.
Below are a few suggestions :
1. Be open minded and relax
2. Learn some ice breaking techniques, e.g.
* join discussions with others
* active listening
* Use some 'get to know you' question?
* Be confidence
There are plenty of resources online
3. Start with a few people / friends first. Don't put yourself into a big group at the beginning
4. After you feel more comfortable and confidence, you can join other social events having more people
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Below are a few suggestions :
1. Be open minded and relax
2. Learn some ice breaking techniques, e.g.
* join discussions with others
* active listening
* Use some 'get to know you' question?
* Be confidence
There are plenty of resources online
3. Start with a few people / friends first. Don't put yourself into a big group at the beginning
4. After you feel more comfortable and confidence, you can join other social events having more people
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
6569
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Hi Elly,
I hope this message finds you well!
Let's talk about Social Skills
Boosting your social skills can be a real game-changer, both in your personal life and at work. It's all about being able to communicate well, create a bond, and confidently handle social situations. Here are some handy tips to help you get even better at socializing:
1. Be an Active Listener
Listening actively is a key part of socializing. This means really focusing on the person who's talking, keeping eye contact, and showing that you're genuinely interested in what they're saying. By doing this, you'll understand others better and respond in a way that leads to more fulfilling conversations.
2. Grow Your Empathy
Empathy is the magic ingredient for making connections with people. Try to see things from other people's point of view and understand how they're feeling. This can help you connect with them on a deeper level and build stronger relationships.
3. Master Nonverbal Communication
Body language, facial expressions, and the tone of your voice are all big players in social interactions. Be aware of your own nonverbal signals and learn to read those of others. This can help you express your thoughts and feelings more effectively.
4. Step Beyond Your Comfort Zone
If you want to improve your social skills, you need to challenge yourself by stepping beyond your comfort zone. This could mean starting conversations with new people, going to social events, or joining in group activities. The more you practice socializing, the more confident you'll get.
5. Handle Nervousness
It's normal to feel nervous in social situations, but there are ways to handle it. Techniques like deep breathing, positive self-talk, and visualization can help lower anxiety before you start socializing. Plus, reminding yourself that everyone gets nervous sometimes can take some of the pressure off.
6. Welcome Feedback
Don't be afraid to ask friends or people you trust for feedback on your social interactions. Their constructive criticism can give you useful insights into what you could improve and help you fine-tune your social skills.
7. Show Genuine Interest
Show people that you're genuinely interested in them by asking open-ended questions about their experiences, views, and interests. This shows that you value what they have to say and can lead to more engaging conversations.
8. Practice Gratitude
Saying thank you and showing appreciation can really strengthen your social bonds. Recognizing the contributions of those around you creates a positive atmosphere and encourages meaningful connections.
9. Keep Learning
Social skills aren't something you're born with; they can be developed over time with continuous learning and practice. You might want to consider reading books on communication, attending workshops or seminars, or looking for online resources to further boost your social skills.
10. Be Yourself
Being genuine is the key to successful social interactions. Let your unique qualities shine and show your true personality when you're socializing with others.
By using these strategies in your everyday life, you can gradually improve your social skills and feel more confident when you're interacting with people from all walks of life.
Here are the Top 3 Reference Publications I used:
- Psychology Today
- Harvard Business Review
- Mayo Clinic
These sources provided information on effective communication strategies, building empathy, handling nervousness, and developing social skills in various settings.
Take care and stay blessed,
James.
I hope this message finds you well!
Let's talk about Social Skills
Boosting your social skills can be a real game-changer, both in your personal life and at work. It's all about being able to communicate well, create a bond, and confidently handle social situations. Here are some handy tips to help you get even better at socializing:
1. Be an Active Listener
Listening actively is a key part of socializing. This means really focusing on the person who's talking, keeping eye contact, and showing that you're genuinely interested in what they're saying. By doing this, you'll understand others better and respond in a way that leads to more fulfilling conversations.
2. Grow Your Empathy
Empathy is the magic ingredient for making connections with people. Try to see things from other people's point of view and understand how they're feeling. This can help you connect with them on a deeper level and build stronger relationships.
3. Master Nonverbal Communication
Body language, facial expressions, and the tone of your voice are all big players in social interactions. Be aware of your own nonverbal signals and learn to read those of others. This can help you express your thoughts and feelings more effectively.
4. Step Beyond Your Comfort Zone
If you want to improve your social skills, you need to challenge yourself by stepping beyond your comfort zone. This could mean starting conversations with new people, going to social events, or joining in group activities. The more you practice socializing, the more confident you'll get.
5. Handle Nervousness
It's normal to feel nervous in social situations, but there are ways to handle it. Techniques like deep breathing, positive self-talk, and visualization can help lower anxiety before you start socializing. Plus, reminding yourself that everyone gets nervous sometimes can take some of the pressure off.
6. Welcome Feedback
Don't be afraid to ask friends or people you trust for feedback on your social interactions. Their constructive criticism can give you useful insights into what you could improve and help you fine-tune your social skills.
7. Show Genuine Interest
Show people that you're genuinely interested in them by asking open-ended questions about their experiences, views, and interests. This shows that you value what they have to say and can lead to more engaging conversations.
8. Practice Gratitude
Saying thank you and showing appreciation can really strengthen your social bonds. Recognizing the contributions of those around you creates a positive atmosphere and encourages meaningful connections.
9. Keep Learning
Social skills aren't something you're born with; they can be developed over time with continuous learning and practice. You might want to consider reading books on communication, attending workshops or seminars, or looking for online resources to further boost your social skills.
10. Be Yourself
Being genuine is the key to successful social interactions. Let your unique qualities shine and show your true personality when you're socializing with others.
By using these strategies in your everyday life, you can gradually improve your social skills and feel more confident when you're interacting with people from all walks of life.
Here are the Top 3 Reference Publications I used:
- Psychology Today
- Harvard Business Review
- Mayo Clinic
These sources provided information on effective communication strategies, building empathy, handling nervousness, and developing social skills in various settings.
Take care and stay blessed,
James.
Louis Morgan-Cassamajor
Client Associate
6
Answers
Madison, Wisconsin
Updated
Louis’s Answer
I want to get better at being more social and being able to talk to people well without getting nervous.
Hi, Elly!
I'm glad you reached out about this.
To begin answering your question, I think it's important to know what aspect of social engagement/conversations makes your nervous? Are you concerned about not being able to hold an extended conversation? Are you afraid that whatever conversation(s) you are having may not be interesting?
After figuring what specifically makes you nervous about talking to others, you'll be more equipped to practice the strategies and follow the advice you're being given here.
A few points I would make are the following:
- People enjoy talking about themselves and feel that the person speaking to them is sincerely interested. When you talk to someone, keep the conversation going by replying to their responses with questions that require more depth (e.g. - what's your favorite movie? They respond, and you can go deeper by asking if the lead actor/actress is a favorite of theirs. What about other movies by that producer/director/writers? Or if they like that genre as a whole. If it's a movie that's been remade a few times over - ask them which one they think is the best version and why) Basically - keep the conversation going by going deeper. Similarities AND differences are what make our relationships and interactions all the worth while. So, you can certainly also share about yourself and chime in with your shared perspective or starkly contrast
- Ask creative questions. Get away from "where do you work?" "where did you go to school?" (those may not be your defaults). I like to ask people what makes them who they are (e.g., what do you do outside of work/school?) Some people may identify with their major/profession but that's not true for everyone. I'm a teacher by education but am now working in Finance. The other question I like to ask is, what about you makes you unique compared to other's in the same room?
- Diversify what information you consume. The more variety of content you watch, read, and listen to - the more conversations you can have with a variety of people.
Hi, Elly!
I'm glad you reached out about this.
To begin answering your question, I think it's important to know what aspect of social engagement/conversations makes your nervous? Are you concerned about not being able to hold an extended conversation? Are you afraid that whatever conversation(s) you are having may not be interesting?
After figuring what specifically makes you nervous about talking to others, you'll be more equipped to practice the strategies and follow the advice you're being given here.
A few points I would make are the following:
- People enjoy talking about themselves and feel that the person speaking to them is sincerely interested. When you talk to someone, keep the conversation going by replying to their responses with questions that require more depth (e.g. - what's your favorite movie? They respond, and you can go deeper by asking if the lead actor/actress is a favorite of theirs. What about other movies by that producer/director/writers? Or if they like that genre as a whole. If it's a movie that's been remade a few times over - ask them which one they think is the best version and why) Basically - keep the conversation going by going deeper. Similarities AND differences are what make our relationships and interactions all the worth while. So, you can certainly also share about yourself and chime in with your shared perspective or starkly contrast
- Ask creative questions. Get away from "where do you work?" "where did you go to school?" (those may not be your defaults). I like to ask people what makes them who they are (e.g., what do you do outside of work/school?) Some people may identify with their major/profession but that's not true for everyone. I'm a teacher by education but am now working in Finance. The other question I like to ask is, what about you makes you unique compared to other's in the same room?
- Diversify what information you consume. The more variety of content you watch, read, and listen to - the more conversations you can have with a variety of people.