Bethany
When I am old enough, should I focus more on serving a mission for my church or getting married?
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and serving a mission to teach the gospel is very important to me. However, I also know that getting married is an essential part of God's plan. As I approach the age at which I will be able to serve a mission, should I be focusing more on serving the Lord or on maintaining the close friendships I may develop at college, that could eventually lead to something more?
#missionary-work #marriage #college #life-transitions
4 answers
Krista van Kaathoven
Krista’s Answer
My advice, focus on YOU first before making those two the biggest priority in life. What makes you happy? Who are you, what is it that inspires you? When do you feel at your best? Knowing yourself is going to get you where you want to be in life and that start by finding your why. Why are you with that church? What is it that you like about your friends? What are your hobbies, what countries would you like to visit. There is so much more in life then narrowing it to 2 things. Go find your passion and your genius (your personal strength) and focus on your happiness (whatever that may be).
Ask yourself those questions and I truly believe you will find the answers from within you.
Davida Brown
Davida’s Answer
I think you should focus on your passions. If serving as a missionary is a passion, I say go for it. You don't have to look for love or marriage, it should come naturally. Remember, God will order your steps and those of your "spouse to be." Pray for discernment and you'll always follow the right path.
Lynette Smith
Lynette’s Answer
Why rush into either one? Use your time in college to focus on your education and broaden your mind. Identify and hone your unique gifts and talents, and become the best "you", you can be. Broaden your perspective beyond your childhood upbringing and religion. Expose yourself to diverse people and cultures. Learn about alternate belief systems, and broaden your experiences. Identify, for yourself, your personal goals, desires and values (which may, or may not be the same as those you were brought up to believe). Become a whole YOU, and then you'll be in a better position to decide how you can best be of service to the world. Good luck!
Kevin P Hust, MBA
Kevin P’s Answer
Gods plan will work and unfold as it should. Let that be the case. You can’t focus or control the idea or getting married. Mainly because it requires another person to follow suit. Instead focus on the things you can control and want to accomplish.
I would say go on that mission trip! I was in a similar situation (please know that your values are much more admirable and I love what you’re doing, I say similar but they are not the same). My situation was I wanted to go on a deployment in the military. I had known this since I was 18. But I had years of training before I would go and then I can’t just pick a date, I needed to find a deployment. I was not looking for love and I was not planning on falling in love. Then when I was 22 I met a girl. Quickly knew she was the one. But I was going to deploy at 24-25. What should I do now?
I told her everything. She surprised me and said we will date and see where it goes. If this was love we will make it, if not then atleast we tried. We’re celebrating 10 years married in April 2025. I deployed in 2014. It all worked out.
Focus on that mission trip and be open minded to what may happen during your journey. You aren’t saying no to love. You’re just saying that if it happens it’ll happen and not putting pressure on something you can’t control. Once you’re done with the mission trip and if it hadn’t happened, well then you can get a little more serious about looking and maybe initiating the conversation.
No rush, the right partner is looking for you with an open mind too.
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