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How do I get past the inner turmoil a teenager faces?

The moment I stepped into my teenage years, I felt a shift in the way my family views me. I went from being a child...to being an adolescent child? I'm seventeen now. And you can imagine how detrimental it is to my inner struggle of self-identity. I am treated as a child if I dare raise an opinion and yet expected to make decisions that I simply can't understand when it all changed. Or how it changed? We learn to accept, but should we accept?
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Daniela’s Answer

Hi, Fatima!


As most of us know, talking and listening don't go smoothly every time. Emotions and past experiences can get in the way.

Will parents take you seriously, believe what you say, listen to and respect your opinions, and hear you out without interrupting? A lot depends on your parent. Some parents are easy to talk to, some are great listeners, and some are harder to approach.

But some of what happens depends on you, too. Since communication is a two-way street, the way you talk can influence how well a parent listens and understands you.

So here are some guidelines to consider when talking to parents:


Source: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html

Daniela recommends the following next steps:

Be clear and direct. Be as clear as you can about what you think, feel, and want. Give details that can help parents understand your situation. They can listen better or be more helpful if they understand what you mean and what's really going on.
Be honest. If you're always honest, a parent will be likely to believe what you say. If you sometimes hide the truth or add too much drama, parents will have a harder time believing what you tell them. If you lie, they'll find it hard to trust you.
Try to understand their point of view. If you have a disagreement, can you see your parents' side? If you can, say so. Telling parents you understand their views and feelings helps them be willing to see yours, too.
Try not to argue or whine. Using a tone that's friendly and respectful makes it more likely parents will listen and take what you say seriously. It also makes it more likely that they'll talk to you in the same way. Of course, this is hard for any of us (adults included) when we're feeling heated about something. If you think your emotions might get the better of you, do something to blow off steam before talking: Go for a run. Cry. Hit your pillow. Do whatever it takes to sound calm when you need to.
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Liann’s Answer

Hi, I think it is amazing that you are able to recognize what you are feeling and even more to then seek the advice of others. This is a question I think that even philosophers have asked themselves! I would say you are on the right path and to keep digging inside yourself to question WHY you feel the way you do about all things. I have learned that being in touch with your thoughts and feelings is a very important skill to have in life. This type of thinking has helped me to control my emotions and reactions when I feel like I am losing my grip with anger or sadness.

Liann recommends the following next steps:

Continue to search inside yourself to understand the why behind how you feel.
If you hit a wall mentally or emotionally, definitely reach out for professional counseling. We ALL struggle and can use professional, outside expertise sometimes.
Look up books, tests and information on your "Emotional IQ". Here is a link to a test: http://cl1.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3124, and a popular book on the topic: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry (Author), and Jean Greaves (Author).
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