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Why is it so hard to be successful ?
How can someone be active
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Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Caren !
It is only difficult to be successful if you think it is difficult to be successful.
The truth is that this wonderful thing called life is filled with successes and failures in an interesting balance. We must first learn much about ourselves, our strong qualities, things we can do "okay" and things we need to work on as a whole person. We should also become aware of how we define success for ourselves, not trying to attain the success that someone else achieved. That is where difficulty enters - when we compare ourselves with others and define success based on what someone else says it is. We all take different steps towards success as well as our failures, but the failures should serve as lessons we learn one time and those transgressions and mistakes will be helpful to discern what one needs for their own personal success.
There are many ways to be active, most especially in the big city where you live ! There is so much going on and many opportunities at your fingertips. You can start right there at your school with clubs, groups, activities, events and programs. Volunteer work is always a wonderful way to be active. Think about the pastimes and hobbies you love and introduce yourself and get started. Ask one of your teachers or your academic counselor to provide a list of the extracurriculars at your current school. Choose ones that you know you'd like to stay with until you graduate and ones that connect you with something you enjoy. The more people that you are around, the more friends you will make and the more active you can be. If you are in college, apply for Work Study the next time you apply for financial aid. A job on campus will keep you active. If there is a particular interest you have that there are no clubs at school for, create one.
Success is based on what your goals are, what do you want and what are you willing to do to get it. Since there are so many different ways to be active, it will be up to you to decide when and how to go about it.
I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best !
FUN ACTIVITIES https://momsla.com/10-fun-activities-for-teens-in-and-around-los-angeles/
VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES FOR TEENS IN L.A. https://kidsthatdogood.com/news/five-volunteer-opportunities-teens-los-angeles/
VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES IN L.A. FOR YOUTH https://www.layouth.com/volunteering/
It is only difficult to be successful if you think it is difficult to be successful.
The truth is that this wonderful thing called life is filled with successes and failures in an interesting balance. We must first learn much about ourselves, our strong qualities, things we can do "okay" and things we need to work on as a whole person. We should also become aware of how we define success for ourselves, not trying to attain the success that someone else achieved. That is where difficulty enters - when we compare ourselves with others and define success based on what someone else says it is. We all take different steps towards success as well as our failures, but the failures should serve as lessons we learn one time and those transgressions and mistakes will be helpful to discern what one needs for their own personal success.
There are many ways to be active, most especially in the big city where you live ! There is so much going on and many opportunities at your fingertips. You can start right there at your school with clubs, groups, activities, events and programs. Volunteer work is always a wonderful way to be active. Think about the pastimes and hobbies you love and introduce yourself and get started. Ask one of your teachers or your academic counselor to provide a list of the extracurriculars at your current school. Choose ones that you know you'd like to stay with until you graduate and ones that connect you with something you enjoy. The more people that you are around, the more friends you will make and the more active you can be. If you are in college, apply for Work Study the next time you apply for financial aid. A job on campus will keep you active. If there is a particular interest you have that there are no clubs at school for, create one.
Success is based on what your goals are, what do you want and what are you willing to do to get it. Since there are so many different ways to be active, it will be up to you to decide when and how to go about it.
I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best !
Michelle recommends the following next steps:
Racheal Noble, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC, NCC
Mental health, education, research, care coordinator
105
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Updated
Racheal’s Answer
Hello,
Great question! My first thought when I read this, I often ask people, what us your definition of successful? That along will tell me why you believe it's hard. If it's based on something that is full of instant gratification or shortcuts., then expect to question yourself often. If it's based on a lack of consistency, I question your ability to trust yourself. If it your definition of trust us based on others definition, then you seek too much external validation and are unaware of your own self concept. If it's based of fearing mistakes and not trying, then you like compassion in self and maybe others.
Ask yourself the question again with my response then you'll have your answer.
Hope this helps!
Great question! My first thought when I read this, I often ask people, what us your definition of successful? That along will tell me why you believe it's hard. If it's based on something that is full of instant gratification or shortcuts., then expect to question yourself often. If it's based on a lack of consistency, I question your ability to trust yourself. If it your definition of trust us based on others definition, then you seek too much external validation and are unaware of your own self concept. If it's based of fearing mistakes and not trying, then you like compassion in self and maybe others.
Ask yourself the question again with my response then you'll have your answer.
Hope this helps!
Updated
Doc’s Answer
Success has many faces Caren. Too often, we let comparison get in the way of celebrating our own successes. We spend our days looking at others and thinking, “If I did that, I’d be successful,” or, “Wow, I should be doing more with my life. Look at so and so.” Comparison only takes us backwards though. It chokes us and keeps us from seeing the individual gifts we bring to the world around us. So how do we move past comparing ourselves to others? Here are some practical things you can do:
1) Make sure you know your values. When you measure yourself against what you value, you have a solid, non-moving goal. If my values include helping others, then I can evaluate if I did that today. Did I help someone today? Then it was a successful day. Our values provide an impartial measurement tool for us.
2) When you are tempted to compare your success to someone else’s, evaluate the cost of their success. We usually only look at the benefits of success in other people’s lives and neglect the costs. For example, others often focus on my travel experiences and say, You get to travel to really great places.
3) Remind yourself everyone has a purpose in life. Sometimes the purpose is glamorous, other times someone’s purpose may not be glamorous, but their purpose is essential. Think of the number of administrative assistants in the world who may not lead glamorous lives, but who make our worlds go around! Without them, we’d be nothing. We may not count that as success, but it’s more than success. It’s essential for others to accomplish their purposes.
Everyone has value. Everyone has purpose. Most often, it’s our perspective that’s off-base. This week as you are tempted to look at someone else’s success, keep these things in mind. Most importantly, evaluate your own success in light of your impact on those around you. After all, that’s what really matters.
Hope this helps you find your success Caren.
1) Make sure you know your values. When you measure yourself against what you value, you have a solid, non-moving goal. If my values include helping others, then I can evaluate if I did that today. Did I help someone today? Then it was a successful day. Our values provide an impartial measurement tool for us.
2) When you are tempted to compare your success to someone else’s, evaluate the cost of their success. We usually only look at the benefits of success in other people’s lives and neglect the costs. For example, others often focus on my travel experiences and say, You get to travel to really great places.
3) Remind yourself everyone has a purpose in life. Sometimes the purpose is glamorous, other times someone’s purpose may not be glamorous, but their purpose is essential. Think of the number of administrative assistants in the world who may not lead glamorous lives, but who make our worlds go around! Without them, we’d be nothing. We may not count that as success, but it’s more than success. It’s essential for others to accomplish their purposes.
Everyone has value. Everyone has purpose. Most often, it’s our perspective that’s off-base. This week as you are tempted to look at someone else’s success, keep these things in mind. Most importantly, evaluate your own success in light of your impact on those around you. After all, that’s what really matters.
Hope this helps you find your success Caren.
Updated
Yaz’s Answer
Its hard to live up to successful if you define it to be living like a Kardashian.
Its easy to be successful if you define it in smaller steps. Being successful could be making an effort to work out for the day, or earning your first paycheck or even unlocking a gaming achievement on a really hard level. All these small successes can accumulate to being successful. Success doesn't have to be financial, but it could be emotional as well.
If you want to be financially successful like Warren Buffer or Mark Cuban, it will take hard work, consistency, and taking opportunities to learn and grow. It can take decades to be financially successful to that degree but as long as you work hard and learn, Im sure you can achieve high levels of financial success.
Its easy to be successful if you define it in smaller steps. Being successful could be making an effort to work out for the day, or earning your first paycheck or even unlocking a gaming achievement on a really hard level. All these small successes can accumulate to being successful. Success doesn't have to be financial, but it could be emotional as well.
If you want to be financially successful like Warren Buffer or Mark Cuban, it will take hard work, consistency, and taking opportunities to learn and grow. It can take decades to be financially successful to that degree but as long as you work hard and learn, Im sure you can achieve high levels of financial success.
Updated
Amalya’s Answer
Hi Caren,
It's hard to be successful since it requires great efforts, patience, obstinacy, and so on. Once you are strong and are able to manage your time and actions efficiently, success will be your remuneration!
It's hard to be successful since it requires great efforts, patience, obstinacy, and so on. Once you are strong and are able to manage your time and actions efficiently, success will be your remuneration!
Updated
Jerome’s Answer
What allowed me to find happiness in my life was to create my own definition of success.
Typically we look at what others have and start comparing. I decided that my definition of success was "To be better tomorrow than I was today and to keep preparing myself for anything that might come my way"
If you have a job, put your head down, work hard and let you boss know you want to move up. If they give you a list of things you need to know, learn them. Do that while volunteering in the community, attending free workshops, listening to podcast and exercising.
When you look at success as who you are and what you can do and not the things you have, life gets easier I promise.
Typically we look at what others have and start comparing. I decided that my definition of success was "To be better tomorrow than I was today and to keep preparing myself for anything that might come my way"
If you have a job, put your head down, work hard and let you boss know you want to move up. If they give you a list of things you need to know, learn them. Do that while volunteering in the community, attending free workshops, listening to podcast and exercising.
When you look at success as who you are and what you can do and not the things you have, life gets easier I promise.
Updated
Sachin’s Answer
Thomas Edison, the prolific inventor, and entrepreneur, is often quoted regarding his perspective on failure. One notable quote attributed to him is:
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Definition of success varies for everyone. People may perceive themselves as not successful for various reasons, and these perceptions are often influenced by subjective factors, societal expectations, and personal beliefs. Here are some common reasons why individuals might think they are not successful:
Comparison to Others: People often measure their success against the achievements of others, especially in the age of social media. Constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy if one perceives that others are more successful.
Unrealistic Expectations: Unrealistic or overly ambitious expectations can create a gap between what individuals achieve and what they expected to achieve. Failing to meet unrealistic goals may lead to a sense of failure.
External Validation: Relying on external validation, such as societal norms or others' opinions, can make individuals feel unsuccessful if they believe they don't meet certain criteria or standards set by others.
Focus on Material Success: Equating success solely with material wealth or external achievements can leave individuals feeling unsuccessful if they haven't attained a particular level of financial or professional success.
Fear of Failure: The fear of failure can lead individuals to perceive themselves as unsuccessful even if they have achieved significant milestones. An aversion to failure may overshadow recognition of their accomplishments.
Lack of Recognition: If individuals feel that their efforts and achievements are not recognized or appreciated by others, they may doubt their success and feel undervalued.
Negative Self-talk: Negative self-talk and a lack of self-confidence can contribute to a perception of failure. Internalizing negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can hinder one's ability to recognize their accomplishments.
Changing Goals: As individuals grow and evolve, their goals and priorities may change. If they haven't reached previous goals but fail to acknowledge their new aspirations and achievements, they may feel unsuccessful.
External Circumstances: Unforeseen external circumstances, such as economic challenges, health issues, or personal setbacks, can impact one's perception of success, even if these factors are beyond their control.
Cultural or Societal Pressures: Cultural or societal expectations regarding success may differ, and individuals may internalize these expectations, feeling unsuccessful if they don't conform to prevailing norms.
It's important to recognize that success is subjective and can take many forms. Personal fulfillment, growth, and well-being should be considered alongside external achievements. Shifting the focus from external validation to internal satisfaction and acknowledging one's unique journey can help individuals redefine and appreciate their own success.
Failure is often considered important in the path to success for several reasons:
Learning Opportunities: Failure provides valuable lessons. When things don't go as planned, it gives individuals and organizations the chance to analyze what went wrong, identify mistakes, and learn from them. This knowledge can be crucial for future endeavors.
Resilience Building: Dealing with failure helps build resilience. It teaches individuals to bounce back from setbacks, face challenges head-on, and develop a mindset that sees obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable barriers.
Innovation and Creativity: Failure often leads to innovative thinking. When one approach doesn't work, individuals are encouraged to explore alternative solutions, fostering creativity and pushing the boundaries of conventional thinking.
Motivation and Determination: Experiencing failure can fuel motivation. The desire to overcome obstacles and prove oneself can be a powerful driving force in achieving success. Many successful individuals have faced significant setbacks before achieving their goals.
Humility: Failure humbles individuals. It reminds them that success is not guaranteed, and everyone has room for improvement. Humility is a key trait that allows individuals to seek help, collaborate, and continuously strive for personal and professional development.
Adaptability: Failure often necessitates adaptability. In a rapidly changing world, the ability to adapt to new circumstances and pivot when necessary is crucial for long-term success. Failure can be a catalyst for adapting strategies and approaches.
Success Appreciation: Experiencing failure makes success more meaningful. When individuals have faced and overcome challenges, the taste of success is sweeter. It adds a layer of appreciation and gratitude for the hard work and perseverance that went into achieving the goal.
Character Development: Going through failure shapes one's character. It builds qualities such as patience, determination, and perseverance. Character development is essential for navigating the ups and downs of life and maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Definition of success varies for everyone. People may perceive themselves as not successful for various reasons, and these perceptions are often influenced by subjective factors, societal expectations, and personal beliefs. Here are some common reasons why individuals might think they are not successful:
Comparison to Others: People often measure their success against the achievements of others, especially in the age of social media. Constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy if one perceives that others are more successful.
Unrealistic Expectations: Unrealistic or overly ambitious expectations can create a gap between what individuals achieve and what they expected to achieve. Failing to meet unrealistic goals may lead to a sense of failure.
External Validation: Relying on external validation, such as societal norms or others' opinions, can make individuals feel unsuccessful if they believe they don't meet certain criteria or standards set by others.
Focus on Material Success: Equating success solely with material wealth or external achievements can leave individuals feeling unsuccessful if they haven't attained a particular level of financial or professional success.
Fear of Failure: The fear of failure can lead individuals to perceive themselves as unsuccessful even if they have achieved significant milestones. An aversion to failure may overshadow recognition of their accomplishments.
Lack of Recognition: If individuals feel that their efforts and achievements are not recognized or appreciated by others, they may doubt their success and feel undervalued.
Negative Self-talk: Negative self-talk and a lack of self-confidence can contribute to a perception of failure. Internalizing negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can hinder one's ability to recognize their accomplishments.
Changing Goals: As individuals grow and evolve, their goals and priorities may change. If they haven't reached previous goals but fail to acknowledge their new aspirations and achievements, they may feel unsuccessful.
External Circumstances: Unforeseen external circumstances, such as economic challenges, health issues, or personal setbacks, can impact one's perception of success, even if these factors are beyond their control.
Cultural or Societal Pressures: Cultural or societal expectations regarding success may differ, and individuals may internalize these expectations, feeling unsuccessful if they don't conform to prevailing norms.
It's important to recognize that success is subjective and can take many forms. Personal fulfillment, growth, and well-being should be considered alongside external achievements. Shifting the focus from external validation to internal satisfaction and acknowledging one's unique journey can help individuals redefine and appreciate their own success.
Failure is often considered important in the path to success for several reasons:
Learning Opportunities: Failure provides valuable lessons. When things don't go as planned, it gives individuals and organizations the chance to analyze what went wrong, identify mistakes, and learn from them. This knowledge can be crucial for future endeavors.
Resilience Building: Dealing with failure helps build resilience. It teaches individuals to bounce back from setbacks, face challenges head-on, and develop a mindset that sees obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable barriers.
Innovation and Creativity: Failure often leads to innovative thinking. When one approach doesn't work, individuals are encouraged to explore alternative solutions, fostering creativity and pushing the boundaries of conventional thinking.
Motivation and Determination: Experiencing failure can fuel motivation. The desire to overcome obstacles and prove oneself can be a powerful driving force in achieving success. Many successful individuals have faced significant setbacks before achieving their goals.
Humility: Failure humbles individuals. It reminds them that success is not guaranteed, and everyone has room for improvement. Humility is a key trait that allows individuals to seek help, collaborate, and continuously strive for personal and professional development.
Adaptability: Failure often necessitates adaptability. In a rapidly changing world, the ability to adapt to new circumstances and pivot when necessary is crucial for long-term success. Failure can be a catalyst for adapting strategies and approaches.
Success Appreciation: Experiencing failure makes success more meaningful. When individuals have faced and overcome challenges, the taste of success is sweeter. It adds a layer of appreciation and gratitude for the hard work and perseverance that went into achieving the goal.
Character Development: Going through failure shapes one's character. It builds qualities such as patience, determination, and perseverance. Character development is essential for navigating the ups and downs of life and maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges.