7 answers
Gisella
Student
Stowe, PA
1
Question
Asked
469 views
What were some family-related problems you had to deal with when focusing on your career?
I'm currently deciding whether i should go to the least expensive school (commuting) or the place that would make me the happiest, living on campus. I find it hard telling my family that being away from them, being on my own, being independent 2 hours away, will help me focus on school and my studies much better than being at home in all of the chaos. I know they rely on me a lot for certain things and i'm happy to help them with anything, but just this once I want to be selfish and focus on me without any judgment on why I feel the this way. After all I, and only I, will be the one that bears the weight of my consequences, if any, of the amount of debt I will be in. Even though my college options aren't expensive compared to other schools, I will have to bear a large amount of debt to be able to go to a four year school and get a Bachelor's degree. Anyway, what would you suggest I do with this kind of problem?
7 answers
Kim Arskii
Social Media Analyst
145
Answers
St. Augustine, Florida
Updated
Kim’s Answer
It sounds like you're facing a tough decision about choosing between a commuting school or living on campus. It's completely understandable to want to focus on your studies in a less chaotic environment. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and academic success.
When talking to your family about this decision, try to explain your reasons calmly and honestly. Let them know that you value their support and help, but this time, you need to prioritize your education and future. Express your desire to focus on your studies without any distractions to achieve your academic goals.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and your education. Your family will likely understand your perspective once they see how important this decision is for your future. It's essential to communicate openly and respectfully with them about your needs and goals.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and it's crucial to weigh the pros and cons of each option carefully. Consider the impact on your studies, mental well-being, and future opportunities when making your choice. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.
When talking to your family about this decision, try to explain your reasons calmly and honestly. Let them know that you value their support and help, but this time, you need to prioritize your education and future. Express your desire to focus on your studies without any distractions to achieve your academic goals.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and your education. Your family will likely understand your perspective once they see how important this decision is for your future. It's essential to communicate openly and respectfully with them about your needs and goals.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and it's crucial to weigh the pros and cons of each option carefully. Consider the impact on your studies, mental well-being, and future opportunities when making your choice. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.
Katrine F.
Actuarial Analyst
6
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Katrine’s Answer
Hello Gisella,
Thanks so much for being open and vulnerable with your question. It seems like you may already have the answer to your question regarding the dilemma about whether to live on campus or commute. It's tough being your age and taking the first step towards independence (independence meaning living your life for yourself and not for others, in a healthy way). Although I didn't have a traditional college experience, my son was faced with this very same dilemma this year (he is a freshman at a college that's 20 minutes from home). I told him it is ultimately up to him as to whether or not he wanted to commute or live on campus next year. I simply informed him of the cost difference between the two options and we discussed his potential future earnings, cost of living and loan amounts. He opted for living on campus and I'm glad he did for the following reasons:
(1) The opportunity to immerse himself in the school culture and partake in the activities held on campus.
(2) The ability to go back to his dorm in between classes that have long breaks between them.
(3) The opportunity to get together more conveniently with classmates to study, work on homework and projects.
(4) The capacity to gain experience living independently and having the personal space to grow and create his own community to thrive in.
(5) The convenience of getting to/from class saves energy to put into other things like studying, social life, etc.
If you are able to afford the option to live on campus, I'd say go for it because you can always move back home and commute. You aren't responsible for the life your family chose for themselves. It's very generous of you to be helpful but at the end of the day, it's your life and I'm sure they'd want you to live your life to the fullest (and will eventually adjust to your absence).
Thanks so much for being open and vulnerable with your question. It seems like you may already have the answer to your question regarding the dilemma about whether to live on campus or commute. It's tough being your age and taking the first step towards independence (independence meaning living your life for yourself and not for others, in a healthy way). Although I didn't have a traditional college experience, my son was faced with this very same dilemma this year (he is a freshman at a college that's 20 minutes from home). I told him it is ultimately up to him as to whether or not he wanted to commute or live on campus next year. I simply informed him of the cost difference between the two options and we discussed his potential future earnings, cost of living and loan amounts. He opted for living on campus and I'm glad he did for the following reasons:
(1) The opportunity to immerse himself in the school culture and partake in the activities held on campus.
(2) The ability to go back to his dorm in between classes that have long breaks between them.
(3) The opportunity to get together more conveniently with classmates to study, work on homework and projects.
(4) The capacity to gain experience living independently and having the personal space to grow and create his own community to thrive in.
(5) The convenience of getting to/from class saves energy to put into other things like studying, social life, etc.
If you are able to afford the option to live on campus, I'd say go for it because you can always move back home and commute. You aren't responsible for the life your family chose for themselves. It's very generous of you to be helpful but at the end of the day, it's your life and I'm sure they'd want you to live your life to the fullest (and will eventually adjust to your absence).
Rebecca Tang
Banking
1858
Answers
Hong Kong
Updated
Rebecca’s Answer
Thank you for your question. I understand your dilemma here. If you can have the offer from the subject of your dream college, you should treasure this opportunity.
Firstly, in terms of the financial problem, I suggest you can explore any scholarship, subsidies, etc. offering by the college. On the other hand, you can find any part time work. It can reduce your financial burden.
On the other hand, regarding your family, I suggest you have an open discussion with them explaining that this is a dream college you would like to attend and can help to enter the career you have interest. And, you can return home on the weekends. You can still have sufficient time spending with them. I believe your family loves you and they will be glad to give you the support.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Firstly, in terms of the financial problem, I suggest you can explore any scholarship, subsidies, etc. offering by the college. On the other hand, you can find any part time work. It can reduce your financial burden.
On the other hand, regarding your family, I suggest you have an open discussion with them explaining that this is a dream college you would like to attend and can help to enter the career you have interest. And, you can return home on the weekends. You can still have sufficient time spending with them. I believe your family loves you and they will be glad to give you the support.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Aya Deen
HR Lead
6
Answers
Saint Petersburg, Florida
Updated
Aya’s Answer
Thank you for bringing this question forward and for being vulnerable. It sounds like you care for your family and want to do the right thing for you but also keeping your family interests in mind. You need to do what makes you excited, happy and motivated to grow and to advance. not only from the career but also personal growth standpoint. when you are happy you will share it with your loved ones. often physical proximity is not as important as emotional/energy connection with your family. consider small things that can build it, such as notes/quality time when together/messages/photos.
Mike Harvey
Vice President Revenue Operations
6
Answers
Rochester, New York
Updated
Mike’s Answer
It is a tough to decide between your education and family. In the end if you want to support your family you will be in a better position to do so if you get a good education and job. Also, becoming independent is a very important part of the college experience
Naquanna Comeaux
Employer Brand & Marketing Manager
3
Answers
Fort Worth, Texas
Updated
Naquanna’s Answer
Hi Gisella,
I recommend you take a look at the schools you are considering and maybe with the help of your school guidance counselor you can write down the pros and cons of attending those schools as it relates to how those schools would help set you up for success in your future career and also provide the development opportunities you will need as a college student preparing for the working world. Once you understand why you are choosing a certain school, you will be more confident in sharing your decision with your family and also have the confidence to move forward in your decision. Also, keep in mind that you will continue to grow as an individual so your college journey, desired major, and career interests may change over time. Focus on being the best student you can be and the rest will fall into place.
I recommend you take a look at the schools you are considering and maybe with the help of your school guidance counselor you can write down the pros and cons of attending those schools as it relates to how those schools would help set you up for success in your future career and also provide the development opportunities you will need as a college student preparing for the working world. Once you understand why you are choosing a certain school, you will be more confident in sharing your decision with your family and also have the confidence to move forward in your decision. Also, keep in mind that you will continue to grow as an individual so your college journey, desired major, and career interests may change over time. Focus on being the best student you can be and the rest will fall into place.
Tandy Linzy
Sr. Operations Manager
1
Answer
Clayton, North Carolina
Updated
Tandy’s Answer
Hi Gisella, I can certainly understand your position. I would say to write down your thoughts *a list of pros and cons (one for you and one for your family). My thoughts would be to include all of the benefits of going away to school (or for work). This list will create a visual for your family. I'd share with them the purpose behind your decision (to move) and the win that can result for everyone involved. If this is your decision to make solely, I would say to "know" what that decision is and don't waiver on what's going to be best for you (remember, it will be you who will have to live with it. It will be you also who will have to experience any regrets should there be any as well). If your decision has long term wins for others, I'd suggest adding that as well (trendsetting/paving the way for a sibling or family member, insurance (from a job), sibling/family association benefits, etc.). Lastly, for those areas to which the family current depend on you - prior to leaving, perhaps you can help teach or divert those responsibilities to others so that the family can still have them addressed, even in your absence. Good luck on your endeavors.
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