9 answers
Rashmitha
Student
Winter Garden, Florida
4
Questions
Updated
1059 views
How can I overcome imposter syndrome and low self esteem in school and life?
I've struggled my whole life with imposter syndrome and this inherent feeling that my success is tied to my achievements in school. This has led to depressive episodes, low self-esteem, and resentment and jealousy on my part sometimes which I am not proud of at all. I compare myself and either find myself happy about being superior or depressed about being inferior. I regularly try to journal my feelings of sadness, worries, and thoughts and I also try to employ some affirmative strategies but I feel like they don't always work. What strategies can I use to further deal with this problem of mine?
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9 answers
Joshua Allard, Ph.D.
Data Science & AI, Quantum AI designer developer
38
Answers
Port St. Lucie, Florida
Updated
Joshua’s Answer
Imposter syndrome is something everyone struggles with at one point or another. When you see others in your filed or on your life path that seem to have it together you have to remember that they to were at one point looking around and thinking "why is everyone better than me?", "Can I do this?", " am I just lying to myself." This is a common thing that people face. There are a lot of strategies out there but not everything work for everyone. I too struggled with this throughout out my career and even into my path of getting my PhD. However, it was because of this pursuit that I was able to overcome this challenge. The strategy that I employed is a "prove them wrong" mentality.
What do I mean by this? you have these negative thoughts and emotions about not being the best or other are doing better than you. It may feel like the whole world is against you. So what I do is take this emotion and turn it into a drive that benefited me I the end. I told me myself I will prove them all wrong this included my self to some degree. its not about using other other strategies that are out there its about creating your own motivation through the resentment and negativity you feel. This proving them wrong mentally can give you a drive to push yourself beyond what your capable of. And try and focus on "the beyond" of your goal. For instance if you want to reach the moon shoot for the stars. Meaning that if you want to reach to a certain point, reach for something further beyond as if you set your goal beyond what you are shooting for you can reach the goal you want to achieve.
Here is my example I wanted to be the very best at what I do and to accepted as an expert I the field. Most people do this with a Master degree and a background in the field. So what I did is pushed my self to take on role I the AI filed that I was not fully capable yet, and I started my PhD to become a well known expert. While I did achieve my PhD it was during this time that everyone in my organization know my name and what I was good and at, and came to me for advice in the area of AI to drive the field forward. So in these two methods if proving them wrong and reaching beyond my goals while the aspect of imposter syndrome was still around I used this as motivation to push my self further and not only achieve my goals but negating the imposter syndrome or at the very least lesson its effects.
list all your negative thoughts and challenges
figure out your goals and shoot higher (ex. I want to be a manger for IT, shoot for becoming an executive)
Tell your negative thoughts and Challenges "I am going to show you who is better" do it with feeling of passion
continue to reminder yourself of proving everyone wrong and you are the best
Achieve your goals and realize you mastered your imposter syndrom
What do I mean by this? you have these negative thoughts and emotions about not being the best or other are doing better than you. It may feel like the whole world is against you. So what I do is take this emotion and turn it into a drive that benefited me I the end. I told me myself I will prove them all wrong this included my self to some degree. its not about using other other strategies that are out there its about creating your own motivation through the resentment and negativity you feel. This proving them wrong mentally can give you a drive to push yourself beyond what your capable of. And try and focus on "the beyond" of your goal. For instance if you want to reach the moon shoot for the stars. Meaning that if you want to reach to a certain point, reach for something further beyond as if you set your goal beyond what you are shooting for you can reach the goal you want to achieve.
Here is my example I wanted to be the very best at what I do and to accepted as an expert I the field. Most people do this with a Master degree and a background in the field. So what I did is pushed my self to take on role I the AI filed that I was not fully capable yet, and I started my PhD to become a well known expert. While I did achieve my PhD it was during this time that everyone in my organization know my name and what I was good and at, and came to me for advice in the area of AI to drive the field forward. So in these two methods if proving them wrong and reaching beyond my goals while the aspect of imposter syndrome was still around I used this as motivation to push my self further and not only achieve my goals but negating the imposter syndrome or at the very least lesson its effects.
Joshua recommends the following next steps:
Hannah Rasmussen
Assistant and TA
4
Answers
Knoxville, Tennessee
Updated
Hannah’s Answer
Hey,
I agree with everything that has been said. I really struggled and to this day struggle with imposter syndrome. Sometimes I feel like I got lucky to be where I am or it was because of my application that just happened to have the key words that I got to where I am.
What helps me the most is my support system. When I am feeling this, they just always remind me and have me say everything that I did to get where I am. My mentors tell me how much I struggled in the beginning and help me realize the growth I have had since.
For me, my friends build my self-esteem more than anything. I think I’m pretty good overall but it’s the best feeling when you know that you have friends and family who will love and accept you no matter what. I believe that everyone should have at least one person in their corner where they help you realize how amazing you are. My best friend Campbell, has been my rock and even when I think I’m dumb, ugly, or anything negative she is always right there to make me laugh and say how awesome I am. Overtime I slowly start to think she’s not all wrong.
Hope that helps!!
Know that you can only do your best
Not everyone is good at everything
Tell yourself that you are always worth it
I agree with everything that has been said. I really struggled and to this day struggle with imposter syndrome. Sometimes I feel like I got lucky to be where I am or it was because of my application that just happened to have the key words that I got to where I am.
What helps me the most is my support system. When I am feeling this, they just always remind me and have me say everything that I did to get where I am. My mentors tell me how much I struggled in the beginning and help me realize the growth I have had since.
For me, my friends build my self-esteem more than anything. I think I’m pretty good overall but it’s the best feeling when you know that you have friends and family who will love and accept you no matter what. I believe that everyone should have at least one person in their corner where they help you realize how amazing you are. My best friend Campbell, has been my rock and even when I think I’m dumb, ugly, or anything negative she is always right there to make me laugh and say how awesome I am. Overtime I slowly start to think she’s not all wrong.
Hope that helps!!
Hannah recommends the following next steps:
Katherine Avery
Run a music studio and teach private music lessons; teach college-level religion classes
350
Answers
Spanish Fork, Utah
Updated
Katherine’s Answer
No one really talks about it, but imposter syndrome is a trauma response from living with perfectionism on the part of someone around you that they foisted onto you.
To help deal with it, you might find it useful to learn some of the skills (any videos that look interesting to you) from the YouTube channels called Childhood Fairy with Anna Runkle or Thais Gibson's Personal Development School.
The things you have done to try to help with it are very good! These channels could continue in that direction and give you some more things to do that can help you overcome the past trauma.
To help deal with it, you might find it useful to learn some of the skills (any videos that look interesting to you) from the YouTube channels called Childhood Fairy with Anna Runkle or Thais Gibson's Personal Development School.
The things you have done to try to help with it are very good! These channels could continue in that direction and give you some more things to do that can help you overcome the past trauma.
Annah Edmonds
Licensed Clinical Counselor and Art Therapist
105
Answers
Seattle, Washington
Updated
Annah’s Answer
Rashmitha, I am so glad you shared. This is not uncommon by the way. There is a lot of pressure being placed on students these days. It may lead to a range of mental health symptoms- or an increase in pre-existing symptoms. It could potentially become very serious which is why talking openly about this is so important! First, know you are not alone. There is help available. You mentioned low self-esteem and imposter syndrome. Self-doubt may come about for a variety of reasons and might show up as low confidence, comparing yourself to others, doubting your abilities or worth, and feeling down. It can get in the way of you living your best life- taking chances, feeling confident, and participating in what you want. Imposter syndrome may be a facet of self-doubt, the belief you are not enough, incapable, not worthy, etc. I think it is safe to say most people have experienced instances of self-doubt and imposter syndrome. But when it becomes chronic or pronounced, it can be debilitating. It may also turn into longer periods of depressive moods; if you think this might be the case for you, I strongly encourage you to meet with a counselor or mental health support person. As for what might help- you are already on your way! You have recognized you have a problem; acknowledgement should never be underestimated! You have courageously shared on this forum; I appreciate and applaud you for this! Sometimes the most helpful thing to do is connect with your peers- share with friends or join a support group. Support groups are good for connection; you will also learn coping tools. Find ways to develop and appreciate your whole self; you are more than your grades and academic performance. What do you like about yourself? What are your interests, passions, skills? What are all the things that make you, you? Having a more balanced perspective may decrease the focus on one aspect. It can be hard to do this when the messages you receive from family, teachers, or society tells you otherwise. The way we become resilient is by pushing ourselves through doubt or anxiety or fear that arises. Know that these thoughts and feelings are just that; they can be challenged and are malleable. Fear and doubt might be an indicator something is important to you and there is risk involved. This can be a good thing! We grow through experience, particularly new experiences! The more you challenge yourself, the more confident you will become. You will learn that you can do quite a lot and you will have more faith in yourself. So, when you feel mired in doubt or begin to question yourself, instead of getting hooked- try stepping out of this habit. Tell yourself a different story. Remember a time you were brave or proved yourself and others wrong. Summon everything inside you (I know you can) and shout down that voice inside yourself that keeps you living a small life, or one defined by grades alone. Try your best and celebrate all your wins- big and small. Make time to play and have fun! I prescribe you laughter and joy. It will make a big difference. And if you want to do more personal growth work on your own, there are many workbooks you can find (at your library or bookstore) focused on these issues. It might be more structured than journaling alone and get you thinking about and practicing different coping. You are on your way!
Emily Mott
Graphic Designer & Marketing Specialist
5
Answers
St. Louis, MO
Updated
Emily’s Answer
Hi Rashmitha,
I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this. However, it may make you feel better to know that you are not alone! Feeling insecure, unworthy, or like you're "winging it' is extremely common not only for young professionals - but for everyone!
As someone in a more creative job field, the idea that you're "faking" your success is quite common, especially early in your career/life. It can be hard to look at ourselves and accept that we are worthy of the praise or credit we receive for our achievements. It's great to focus on striving for success and being the best version of yourself, but it's also important to recognize that you are human, and not even the best of us are perfect.
While earning my BFA, I struggled with worries that I wouldn't be good enough at my profession. I also experienced the same struggle of feeling superior or inferior depending on my academic standing. I think it's great that you're so aware of your struggles with this, it's already a huge step forward!
I encourage you to continue your current methods for coping, and incorporate some of the following:
- Set aside time to focus on your hobbies. I have found that having a few hobbies where I'm not worried about being the best helped me regulate my feelings about my worth. Learning a skill or enjoying an activity simply for the fun of it and not for the product can help you remember that you are more than your grades and career. We're here to work AND enjoy our life.
- Connect with your peers. I know it can be hard to open up to friends, coworkers, or peers about this, but I think you'd be surprised at how many people around you feel the same! Everyone's always in the process of something new, and connecting on the challenges you face can help you vent about it. Who knows? Maybe you and some friends can create a study group to turn school into something a bit more fun!
- Remind yourself it's not always about school. I know this is easy to say but hard to put into practice. It's a great trait to be dedicated to your learning and your future, but it's important to remember that life isn't just our grades or our jobs. You are worth far more than your transcripts can ever reflect, and you deserve to enjoy that!
It may seem paradoxical, but sometimes taking a step back from what's concerning you can help. Take breaks to enjoy life and decompress and I think you'll find it easier to be kind to yourself academically. Over time, these techniques have not only helped my mental health in my career, but I've become more productive and confident in my profession. Never forget that your feelings are normal and we all have our doubts about ourselves. Hopefully reading some of the advice on this post will help you, best of luck Rashmitha!
I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this. However, it may make you feel better to know that you are not alone! Feeling insecure, unworthy, or like you're "winging it' is extremely common not only for young professionals - but for everyone!
As someone in a more creative job field, the idea that you're "faking" your success is quite common, especially early in your career/life. It can be hard to look at ourselves and accept that we are worthy of the praise or credit we receive for our achievements. It's great to focus on striving for success and being the best version of yourself, but it's also important to recognize that you are human, and not even the best of us are perfect.
While earning my BFA, I struggled with worries that I wouldn't be good enough at my profession. I also experienced the same struggle of feeling superior or inferior depending on my academic standing. I think it's great that you're so aware of your struggles with this, it's already a huge step forward!
I encourage you to continue your current methods for coping, and incorporate some of the following:
- Set aside time to focus on your hobbies. I have found that having a few hobbies where I'm not worried about being the best helped me regulate my feelings about my worth. Learning a skill or enjoying an activity simply for the fun of it and not for the product can help you remember that you are more than your grades and career. We're here to work AND enjoy our life.
- Connect with your peers. I know it can be hard to open up to friends, coworkers, or peers about this, but I think you'd be surprised at how many people around you feel the same! Everyone's always in the process of something new, and connecting on the challenges you face can help you vent about it. Who knows? Maybe you and some friends can create a study group to turn school into something a bit more fun!
- Remind yourself it's not always about school. I know this is easy to say but hard to put into practice. It's a great trait to be dedicated to your learning and your future, but it's important to remember that life isn't just our grades or our jobs. You are worth far more than your transcripts can ever reflect, and you deserve to enjoy that!
It may seem paradoxical, but sometimes taking a step back from what's concerning you can help. Take breaks to enjoy life and decompress and I think you'll find it easier to be kind to yourself academically. Over time, these techniques have not only helped my mental health in my career, but I've become more productive and confident in my profession. Never forget that your feelings are normal and we all have our doubts about ourselves. Hopefully reading some of the advice on this post will help you, best of luck Rashmitha!
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
6180
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Rashmitha,
me
Use vitamin B8 [Inositol] and other members of the B complex like B3 and B6.
AI
Understanding Imposter Syndrome and Low Self-Esteem
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem, which is a lack of confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. These issues can significantly impact various aspects of life, including school performance, relationships, and overall well-being.
Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Low Self-Esteem
Recognize and Challenge Negative Thoughts: Start by identifying the negative thoughts that contribute to imposter syndrome and low self-esteem. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself for evidence that supports them or contradicts them.
Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a journal of your achievements and revisit it when you are feeling inadequate.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional about your feelings. Sharing your struggles can help you gain perspective and receive encouragement.
Set Realistic Goals: Break down your goals into manageable steps and celebrate progress along the way. Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your personal growth.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a friend facing similar challenges. Practice self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being.
Challenge Perfectionism: Understand that nobody is perfect, and mistakes are a natural part of learning and growth. Embrace imperfections as opportunities for improvement.
Develop a Growth Mindset: Cultivate the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. View challenges as opportunities to learn rather than threats to your competence.
Engage in Positive Affirmations: Use affirmations to counteract negative self-talk and build self-confidence. Repeat positive statements about yourself regularly to reinforce a healthy self-image.
Focus on Your Strengths: Identify your strengths and talents, and leverage them in different areas of your life. Recognizing what you excel at can boost your self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts without judgment. Mindfulness techniques can help you manage stress, anxiety, and negative emotions associated with imposter syndrome.
Conclusion
Overcoming imposter syndrome and low self-esteem is a gradual process that requires self-awareness, resilience, and support from others. By implementing these strategies consistently and seeking professional help if needed, you can gradually build confidence in yourself and break free from the cycle of self-doubt.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used:
American Psychological Association (APA): The APA provides valuable insights into imposter syndrome, low self-esteem, and strategies for improving mental well-being through evidence-based research and expert guidance.
Harvard Business Review (HBR): HBR offers articles on imposter syndrome in academic settings, workplaces, and personal development contexts, providing practical advice on overcoming feelings of inadequacy.
Mayo Clinic: Mayo Clinic’s resources on mental health cover topics related to self-esteem issues, coping mechanisms for stress, anxiety management techniques, and seeking professional help for psychological concerns.
God Bless You,
JC.
me
Use vitamin B8 [Inositol] and other members of the B complex like B3 and B6.
AI
Understanding Imposter Syndrome and Low Self-Esteem
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem, which is a lack of confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. These issues can significantly impact various aspects of life, including school performance, relationships, and overall well-being.
Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Low Self-Esteem
Recognize and Challenge Negative Thoughts: Start by identifying the negative thoughts that contribute to imposter syndrome and low self-esteem. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself for evidence that supports them or contradicts them.
Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a journal of your achievements and revisit it when you are feeling inadequate.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional about your feelings. Sharing your struggles can help you gain perspective and receive encouragement.
Set Realistic Goals: Break down your goals into manageable steps and celebrate progress along the way. Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your personal growth.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a friend facing similar challenges. Practice self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being.
Challenge Perfectionism: Understand that nobody is perfect, and mistakes are a natural part of learning and growth. Embrace imperfections as opportunities for improvement.
Develop a Growth Mindset: Cultivate the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. View challenges as opportunities to learn rather than threats to your competence.
Engage in Positive Affirmations: Use affirmations to counteract negative self-talk and build self-confidence. Repeat positive statements about yourself regularly to reinforce a healthy self-image.
Focus on Your Strengths: Identify your strengths and talents, and leverage them in different areas of your life. Recognizing what you excel at can boost your self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts without judgment. Mindfulness techniques can help you manage stress, anxiety, and negative emotions associated with imposter syndrome.
Conclusion
Overcoming imposter syndrome and low self-esteem is a gradual process that requires self-awareness, resilience, and support from others. By implementing these strategies consistently and seeking professional help if needed, you can gradually build confidence in yourself and break free from the cycle of self-doubt.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used:
American Psychological Association (APA): The APA provides valuable insights into imposter syndrome, low self-esteem, and strategies for improving mental well-being through evidence-based research and expert guidance.
Harvard Business Review (HBR): HBR offers articles on imposter syndrome in academic settings, workplaces, and personal development contexts, providing practical advice on overcoming feelings of inadequacy.
Mayo Clinic: Mayo Clinic’s resources on mental health cover topics related to self-esteem issues, coping mechanisms for stress, anxiety management techniques, and seeking professional help for psychological concerns.
God Bless You,
JC.
Cassie Klein
Social Science for Wildlife Conservation
14
Answers
Orlando, Florida
Updated
Cassie’s Answer
Hi Rashmitha,
Wow, hear you. We all struggle with imposter syndrome. You already have lots of good advice here. I will add this that helped me:
Everyone is an imposter. No one has all the answers. No one is perfect. Everyone is just doing their best. If everyone is just like you, then why can't you just keep being you and be awesome?
Try comparing yourself today to yourself yesterday, instead of everyone else. This is also tough. I'm competitive and judgy. I WANT to compare myself to others. However, comparing yourself to yourself is even more helpful because it will show you your own progress, which is so much more valuable.
Also, before a big meeting, or project, or performance, etc. Try taking the superhero pose for 5 minutes. Stand up tall with your shoulders back and your head held up. Place your fists on your hips and open your elbows wide. It will feel ridiculous at first, but it's actually got some scientific evidence to suggest that standing this way for 5 minutes will increase your confidence.
Wow, hear you. We all struggle with imposter syndrome. You already have lots of good advice here. I will add this that helped me:
Everyone is an imposter. No one has all the answers. No one is perfect. Everyone is just doing their best. If everyone is just like you, then why can't you just keep being you and be awesome?
Try comparing yourself today to yourself yesterday, instead of everyone else. This is also tough. I'm competitive and judgy. I WANT to compare myself to others. However, comparing yourself to yourself is even more helpful because it will show you your own progress, which is so much more valuable.
Also, before a big meeting, or project, or performance, etc. Try taking the superhero pose for 5 minutes. Stand up tall with your shoulders back and your head held up. Place your fists on your hips and open your elbows wide. It will feel ridiculous at first, but it's actually got some scientific evidence to suggest that standing this way for 5 minutes will increase your confidence.
Samira Hasnain
Content Writer | Aspiring Clinical Psychologist
16
Answers
Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan
Updated
Samira’s Answer
Firstly, I'm sorry you've been experiencing this. It must be a lot to handle. Please know that you're not alone and help is available.
As someone who has struggled with imposter syndrome and low self-esteem, I can safely say that self-acceptance and self-compassion can truly help. Holding yourself accountable with kindness, reparenting your inner child, and realizing your inherent worth goes a long way. When you find yourself falling short or making a mistake, speak to yourself like you would speak to a loved one. Remind yourself that you're inherently worthy and that your value as a person does not depend on external factors such as your achievements. You mentioned journaling, so I'd strongly recommend you try keeping a Gratitude Journal as well, in which you can record small glimmers (i.e. opposite of triggers. It can be anything you're grateful for) in everyday life as well as qualities about yourself that you admire and appreciate. Try to challenge your negative thoughts and limiting self-beliefs and replace them with more constructive and compassionate thoughts. Attaching some helpful online resources in the next steps. Seeking professional help from a licensed mental health practitioner is also highly recommended.
https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/self-esteem/none
https://positivepsychology.com/self-esteem-worksheets/
https://www.wondermind.com/article/imposter-syndrome/
https://rebtinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/REBT-Self-Help-Form.pdf
As someone who has struggled with imposter syndrome and low self-esteem, I can safely say that self-acceptance and self-compassion can truly help. Holding yourself accountable with kindness, reparenting your inner child, and realizing your inherent worth goes a long way. When you find yourself falling short or making a mistake, speak to yourself like you would speak to a loved one. Remind yourself that you're inherently worthy and that your value as a person does not depend on external factors such as your achievements. You mentioned journaling, so I'd strongly recommend you try keeping a Gratitude Journal as well, in which you can record small glimmers (i.e. opposite of triggers. It can be anything you're grateful for) in everyday life as well as qualities about yourself that you admire and appreciate. Try to challenge your negative thoughts and limiting self-beliefs and replace them with more constructive and compassionate thoughts. Attaching some helpful online resources in the next steps. Seeking professional help from a licensed mental health practitioner is also highly recommended.
Samira recommends the following next steps:
David Padilla
ABA
15
Answers
Santa Ana, California
Updated
David’s Answer
Getting therapy is the best option for any kind of mental disorder.
Inquire for help in your community
You got this!
Inquire for help in your community
You got this!