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why should i not always listen to my brothers and family when deciding my life career?
life coaching
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Sarah’s Answer
I agree with Linda's answer. The only thing I'd like to add, being in the middle of my career path, is that your family will only teach you how to be as successful as they are. So if they can't afford something you wish you could, do not take their advice. If they hang out with people who do not have the thing or things you want, do not take their advice. They love you, but they will only get you as far as they have been. Instead, surround yourself with people who are already successful. How do you do this you ask? By joining groups for what you ultimately want to do in your career or life. Go to every networking for young professionals, business bootcamp for future entrepreneurs, etc. Even if you do not want to be an entrepreneur or doctor or sports analysts, join groups that meet regularly to expose yourself to future connections that will open the doors for you. I'll give you an example, I knew a guy who went to Harvard business school even though he was already a successful financial advisor just to make more professional connections. The was so that he could find people who could use his services or connect with someone who might need his services. People talk, eat and discuss issues they are trying to solve all the time. The chances of you hearing about someone looking for a service or product that can solve their problem will always be your opportunity to jump in and likely get a job. You don't have to be a huge social butterfly to reap the benefits of these groups. Just put yourself out there, and the people you are meant to connect with will in fact connect with you.
Join a professionals group who focus on the career you ultimately want
Don't listen to people who are not successful (you can decide what "successful" means to you)
Think about the income you need to make to take care of yourself financially. (consider your health, the housing market and business trends)
Read professional blogs, articles and watch videos about what companies are looking for in your field
Do not be afraid to email, DM people you admire online (likely they are wanting to help. It gives their life meaning.)
Sarah recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Lamar’s Answer
Hi Susan -
What a wonderful question and I adore the beauty of having brothers and family who care enough to give advice (solicited or unsolicited) when it comes from a good place. I believe the previously provided responses offer a reliable and robust solution to your life and career-related questions. They also give a deep understanding of the factors that drive decision-making and shape the advice that comes from your family. Now, let's delve into the initial part of your question, "Why should I not always listen to the advice of my brothers and family..."
Key word "Listen" - you can always listen, but understand and evaluate have you been listened to first and did you even ask for an opinion
If you have been listened to (meaning your perspective and wishes are in full consideration), then the feedback from the family becomes more credible
As most stated - your life = your decision. I mean this is the best and worst way, so take full ownership of YOUR DECISION. If it works out well it is yours, be proud of your choice. If the decision comes with challenges, dont blame the opinions you decided to factor in, you could have just as easily decided differently, so dont blame or beat yourself up, find a way to move foward
Maintain perspective - life itself is a process, so enjoy the process as a whole. Moments will pass, and may seem as if they are going to last forever, however none do, good or bad. Master the enjoyment of the moments, while staying in the process.
What a wonderful question and I adore the beauty of having brothers and family who care enough to give advice (solicited or unsolicited) when it comes from a good place. I believe the previously provided responses offer a reliable and robust solution to your life and career-related questions. They also give a deep understanding of the factors that drive decision-making and shape the advice that comes from your family. Now, let's delve into the initial part of your question, "Why should I not always listen to the advice of my brothers and family..."
Lamar recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Chinyere’s Answer
Hello Susan,
Here are a few reasons why you shouldn't always rely solely on your family's advice for your career path:
Different experiences: Their experiences may not reflect the current job market. What was stable or lucrative for them might not be the same today.
Personal biases: They might have their own biases about certain professions, encouraging you towards something familiar or safe, even if it's not your passion.
Your own fit: What works for them might not be a good fit for your interests, skills, or personality. You might crave creativity where they value stability.
This doesn't mean ignore their input entirely! They can be a great source of:
Support: Having their encouragement can be a huge motivator.
Guidance: They can help you research, network, or practice interview skills.
Insights: They might know your strengths and weaknesses better than you do.
Here's the key: Use their advice as one piece of the puzzle. Here are some ways to find your own path:
Self-reflection: Explore your interests, values, and skills through quizzes, personality tests, or talking to a career counselor.
Research: Learn about different career options, their day-to-day activities, and required skills.
Job shadowing: See if you can shadow someone in a field that interests you to get a real-world feel.
Ultimately, the career you choose should be fulfilling for YOU. By considering all the pieces, including your family's input and your own exploration, you'll be on the right track to a happy and successful work life.
Best wishes!
Here are a few reasons why you shouldn't always rely solely on your family's advice for your career path:
Different experiences: Their experiences may not reflect the current job market. What was stable or lucrative for them might not be the same today.
Personal biases: They might have their own biases about certain professions, encouraging you towards something familiar or safe, even if it's not your passion.
Your own fit: What works for them might not be a good fit for your interests, skills, or personality. You might crave creativity where they value stability.
This doesn't mean ignore their input entirely! They can be a great source of:
Support: Having their encouragement can be a huge motivator.
Guidance: They can help you research, network, or practice interview skills.
Insights: They might know your strengths and weaknesses better than you do.
Here's the key: Use their advice as one piece of the puzzle. Here are some ways to find your own path:
Self-reflection: Explore your interests, values, and skills through quizzes, personality tests, or talking to a career counselor.
Research: Learn about different career options, their day-to-day activities, and required skills.
Job shadowing: See if you can shadow someone in a field that interests you to get a real-world feel.
Ultimately, the career you choose should be fulfilling for YOU. By considering all the pieces, including your family's input and your own exploration, you'll be on the right track to a happy and successful work life.
Best wishes!
Duncan Phin
Culture and Engagement Data Manager
19
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Updated
Duncan’s Answer
Hello Susan,
Just a friendly thought to consider - each of us has a unique journey in life, filled with experiences that we often love to share as advice. And the best part? This advice comes at no cost! It can open up new viewpoints that you might not have considered before. The beauty of it all is that you have the freedom to either embrace this advice or decide it's not quite right for you.
Remember, none of us have a magical crystal ball to predict the future, so the choices you make might turn out to be spot on, or perhaps you might reflect later and think - next time, I'd do things a bit differently. But that's all part of the learning curve where we sometimes stumble, learn, and grow.
And who knows? You might find yourself sharing your own experiences and lessons as advice one day, keeping the cycle going. The most important thing to remember is to listen to advice, but always own the decisions you make in the end.
Take care,
Duncan
Just a friendly thought to consider - each of us has a unique journey in life, filled with experiences that we often love to share as advice. And the best part? This advice comes at no cost! It can open up new viewpoints that you might not have considered before. The beauty of it all is that you have the freedom to either embrace this advice or decide it's not quite right for you.
Remember, none of us have a magical crystal ball to predict the future, so the choices you make might turn out to be spot on, or perhaps you might reflect later and think - next time, I'd do things a bit differently. But that's all part of the learning curve where we sometimes stumble, learn, and grow.
And who knows? You might find yourself sharing your own experiences and lessons as advice one day, keeping the cycle going. The most important thing to remember is to listen to advice, but always own the decisions you make in the end.
Take care,
Duncan
Updated
Mark’s Answer
Take the time to gather insights from experienced career advisors, such as your school's guidance counselor. Remember, there's no need to hurry in selecting a career until you're in your second year of high school. Use this time wisely to identify your career interests. Once you have a list, engage in discussions with career counselors. They are there to guide you towards a successful path.
My grandpa is 87, and he was in the military, then he was a missionary, then he went to college, then he worked in one career, then changed to a different kind of career and officially retired from that after decades, and then started a "second career" (really at least his third) and has been doing it for more than 20 years. And he still says, "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up...and that's ok. Just do something and it will be ok." :)
Katherine Avery
So we don't have to know what we're doing our second year of high school, or we don't have to know it's something that we would do for forty years--deciding our second year of high school to do something that we would do for nine months or nine years is fine, or deciding our second year of high school to do one particular thing starting specifically forty years in the future is good.
My dad totally changed careers at 37, and I am starting a third career at 33. The average nowadays is supposedly that a person will do seven totally different things with their daily life just during their working years, let alone the years when they're younger or older than that.
Katherine Avery
Updated
Bhavana’s Answer
While the wisdom of family can be a precious resource in making career choices, it's crucial to put your personal interests, passions, and aspirations first. Your family might not completely grasp your individual motivations or the current trends in the job market, which could result in advice that may not be entirely in sync with your needs. The unique values and risk appetite of each person are key factors in selecting the right career path. In the end, making decisions independently promotes self-reliance, personal development, and contentment. Weighing your family's suggestions with your own understanding guarantees a rewarding and genuine career journey.
Every person has distinct values and priorities that steer their career decisions. For example, while some might give importance to a balanced work-life equation, others may regard financial security or avenues for creative fulfillment as more significant. Your family's values might not always match yours, so it's vital to contemplate what truly matters to you when making career-related decisions.
Every person has distinct values and priorities that steer their career decisions. For example, while some might give importance to a balanced work-life equation, others may regard financial security or avenues for creative fulfillment as more significant. Your family's values might not always match yours, so it's vital to contemplate what truly matters to you when making career-related decisions.
Updated
Shirley’s Answer
Hi Susan,
Your family is always there to guide your decisions, but you are the one who makes the ultimate decision. Your family is wise and their experiences can shed light on your career. However, they are entitled to their opinions and you're an individual who should speak up for what you want to do with YOUR life.
Don't forget if you spend your life prioritizing others' happiness, you'll lose yourself in process. You don't want to find yourself decades later regretting your decisions because you conceded to someone else's recommendation rather than what your heart desired. Failing at something is still better than spending a lifetime of wondering what would've been.
Your family is always there to guide your decisions, but you are the one who makes the ultimate decision. Your family is wise and their experiences can shed light on your career. However, they are entitled to their opinions and you're an individual who should speak up for what you want to do with YOUR life.
Don't forget if you spend your life prioritizing others' happiness, you'll lose yourself in process. You don't want to find yourself decades later regretting your decisions because you conceded to someone else's recommendation rather than what your heart desired. Failing at something is still better than spending a lifetime of wondering what would've been.
Updated
Linda’s Answer
This is easy. Your family loves you and only wants the best but they are not you and can't access your deepest desires, wants and needs. The things that make you Susan and when pondering the realities of a career only you can really feel what will be the right fit for your passion. You are fortunate to have their input, it can be challenging to investigate all the available avenues open to you in one direction and love one's can offer their experiences and helpful advise as they make their way through life journey as well. Good luck
Updated
Samira’s Answer
This is actually a great question and something that many students/teenagers can relate to. Elder siblings and family members can be a valuable source of support and guidance as you can learn a lot from their experience. However, it's important to understand that no matter how well-intentioned our family members are, in the end, the decision to choose our career and life purpose is and should always be our own decision. It's about autonomy and the realization that you are an individual with your unique journey, interests, and aspirations. Deciding your career is a significant life decision, and not only for obvious reasons but also because it will likely have a long-term impact on your subjective well-being and overall life satisfaction. So, seek guidance, support, and help, but make sure the decision is your own.
You can seek career counseling/guidance from certified and reliable professionals.
Discover your own strengths, interests, and skills using beginner-friendly surveys. I highly recommend taking the VIA Character Strengths Survey (https://www.viacharacter.org/) and the Big Five Personality Test, which is a research-backed tool to help individuals make an informed career choice. (https://www.thecareerproject.org/personality-types-test/big-five/)
Samira recommends the following next steps:
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
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James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Susan!
Understanding the Influence of Family on Career Decisions
When it comes to making significant life decisions, such as choosing a career path, it’s essential to consider various factors that can influence your choices. While family members, including siblings, often have your best interests at heart and may offer valuable insights based on their experiences, there are several reasons why you should not always rely solely on their opinions when deciding your career.
1. Individual Aspirations and Interests
One of the primary reasons to consider your own preferences over familial advice is that each person has unique aspirations and interests. What works for your brothers or family members may not resonate with you personally. For instance, if your brother is passionate about engineering but you have a strong interest in psychology or art, pursuing a career in engineering just because he suggests it could lead to dissatisfaction and unfulfillment in your professional life.
2. Different Values and Life Experiences
Family members often base their advice on their values and life experiences, which may differ significantly from yours. They might prioritize job stability or financial security based on their own struggles or successes, while you might value creativity or social impact more highly. Understanding that these values can shape career choices is crucial; what feels right for them may not align with what feels right for you.
3. The Importance of Self-Discovery
Career decisions are deeply personal and often require self-discovery. Engaging in this process allows you to explore your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and goals independently of external influences. By taking time to reflect on what truly excites you—whether through internships, volunteer work, or personal projects—you can make more informed decisions that align with who you are rather than who others think you should be.
4. The Risk of Regret
Listening too closely to family opinions can lead to regret later in life if those choices do not fulfill you. Many individuals find themselves stuck in careers they did not choose for themselves but rather accepted due to familial pressure or expectations. This can result in feelings of resentment towards both the chosen path and the family members whose opinions influenced that decision.
5. Evolving Job Market
The job market is constantly evolving due to technological advancements and societal changes. Family members may provide advice based on outdated perceptions of certain careers or industries that no longer hold true today. Researching current trends and future projections within fields of interest will equip you with the knowledge necessary to make informed decisions independent of familial biases.
6. Building Confidence in Decision-Making
Making independent career choices fosters confidence in your ability to make sound decisions throughout life. When you take ownership of your career path—considering both internal desires and external realities—you develop critical thinking skills that will serve you well beyond just this one decision.
7. Seeking Diverse Perspectives
While it’s important not to rely solely on family input, seeking diverse perspectives from mentors, peers, professionals in fields you’re interested in, or even career coaches can provide a broader understanding of potential paths available to you. This diversity allows for a more rounded view that incorporates various experiences rather than being limited by familial viewpoints.
In conclusion, while family members often mean well when offering career advice based on their experiences and beliefs, it’s crucial for individuals like yourself to prioritize personal interests and aspirations when making such significant life choices.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used
American Psychological Association (APA): Provides insights into individual differences in personality and interests affecting career choices.
National Career Development Association (NCDA): Offers resources about self-discovery processes related to career development.
Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS): Supplies up-to-date information about job market trends and projections across various industries.
God Bless You!
JC.
Understanding the Influence of Family on Career Decisions
When it comes to making significant life decisions, such as choosing a career path, it’s essential to consider various factors that can influence your choices. While family members, including siblings, often have your best interests at heart and may offer valuable insights based on their experiences, there are several reasons why you should not always rely solely on their opinions when deciding your career.
1. Individual Aspirations and Interests
One of the primary reasons to consider your own preferences over familial advice is that each person has unique aspirations and interests. What works for your brothers or family members may not resonate with you personally. For instance, if your brother is passionate about engineering but you have a strong interest in psychology or art, pursuing a career in engineering just because he suggests it could lead to dissatisfaction and unfulfillment in your professional life.
2. Different Values and Life Experiences
Family members often base their advice on their values and life experiences, which may differ significantly from yours. They might prioritize job stability or financial security based on their own struggles or successes, while you might value creativity or social impact more highly. Understanding that these values can shape career choices is crucial; what feels right for them may not align with what feels right for you.
3. The Importance of Self-Discovery
Career decisions are deeply personal and often require self-discovery. Engaging in this process allows you to explore your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and goals independently of external influences. By taking time to reflect on what truly excites you—whether through internships, volunteer work, or personal projects—you can make more informed decisions that align with who you are rather than who others think you should be.
4. The Risk of Regret
Listening too closely to family opinions can lead to regret later in life if those choices do not fulfill you. Many individuals find themselves stuck in careers they did not choose for themselves but rather accepted due to familial pressure or expectations. This can result in feelings of resentment towards both the chosen path and the family members whose opinions influenced that decision.
5. Evolving Job Market
The job market is constantly evolving due to technological advancements and societal changes. Family members may provide advice based on outdated perceptions of certain careers or industries that no longer hold true today. Researching current trends and future projections within fields of interest will equip you with the knowledge necessary to make informed decisions independent of familial biases.
6. Building Confidence in Decision-Making
Making independent career choices fosters confidence in your ability to make sound decisions throughout life. When you take ownership of your career path—considering both internal desires and external realities—you develop critical thinking skills that will serve you well beyond just this one decision.
7. Seeking Diverse Perspectives
While it’s important not to rely solely on family input, seeking diverse perspectives from mentors, peers, professionals in fields you’re interested in, or even career coaches can provide a broader understanding of potential paths available to you. This diversity allows for a more rounded view that incorporates various experiences rather than being limited by familial viewpoints.
In conclusion, while family members often mean well when offering career advice based on their experiences and beliefs, it’s crucial for individuals like yourself to prioritize personal interests and aspirations when making such significant life choices.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used
American Psychological Association (APA): Provides insights into individual differences in personality and interests affecting career choices.
National Career Development Association (NCDA): Offers resources about self-discovery processes related to career development.
Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS): Supplies up-to-date information about job market trends and projections across various industries.
God Bless You!
JC.
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