3 answers
Jessica
Student
Silver Spring, Maryland
1
Question
Asked
249 views
How can i become a better version of me?
Im 16 nd i am goin to repeat 10th grade because of how awkward and shameful i felt, the year has been very rough on me and my family, after i had found out my dad git cancer late December last year, everything just came crashing down, I live in a generation that you have to be good, but I'm not good enough.
I keep struggling in math, chemistry, Japanese, AP Government and it's really sad because I really want to do better, plus I just turned 16 this year and every single job I've been applying to they haven't been accepting me, it looks like bad luck is just on my side plus my dad is not getting better, he still has cancer, his cancer is at stage 4, like i dnt know, it's a lot all of this is just been like occupying my mind and because of that I let school escape my mind, School wasn't even good it's worse like every single day the teachers act like they don't even like us ,
it's like they're not even there to teach and I also don't like the students there, they're hectic, loud, obnoxious and it just makes me leave and hate school
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3 answers
Chinyere Okafor
Educationist and Counseling Psychologist
372
Answers
Port Harcourt, Rivers, Nigeria
Updated
Chinyere’s Answer
Hello Jessica,
You're Not Alone!
I understand how overwhelming everything must feel right now. Dealing with a sick parent, academic struggles, and the pressures of teenage life is incredibly tough. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even hopeless at times. But remember, you're not alone in this, and there are ways to cope and grow stronger.
Addressing Your Challenges
Let's break down some of the issues you're facing and explore potential solutions:
1. Family and Health:
Prioritize your dad: While it's difficult, try to focus on supporting your family during this time. Spending quality time with your dad, even if it's just small moments, can be incredibly meaningful.
Seek support: Talk to someone you trust, like a close friend, relative, or counselor, about how you're feeling. Sharing your emotions can be a huge relief.
Consider a support group: Joining a support group for children of cancer patients can provide valuable connections and coping strategies.
2. School and Academics:
Talk to your teachers: Be honest with your teachers about what you're going through. They might be able to offer extra help or accommodations.
Find a study buddy: Working with a classmate can make learning more enjoyable and effective.
Explore tutoring: Consider getting a tutor for subjects you're struggling with.
Take breaks: It's important to rest and recharge. Short breaks can help you focus better when you return to your studies.
3. Job Hunting:
Focus on building skills: While job hunting can be frustrating, focus on developing skills that will make you a more attractive candidate, such as computer skills or customer service.
Volunteer: Volunteering can help you gain experience and build your resume.
Network: Connect with people in your field of interest. Networking can lead to job opportunities.
4. Mental and Emotional Well-being:
Practice self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, like reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.
Exercise regularly: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve mood.
Limit screen time: Spending too much time on social media can be overwhelming.
Seek professional help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or depressed, consider talking to a therapist.
Building Resilience
Remember, challenges are a normal part of life. How you respond to them is what matters. Here are some tips for building resilience:
Set realistic goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small.
Develop a growth mindset: Believe in your ability to learn and grow.
Practice gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Take care of your physical health: Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
You are strong and capable, and you will get through this. It's okay to ask for help and seek support. Remember, things will get better.
Best wishes!
You're Not Alone!
I understand how overwhelming everything must feel right now. Dealing with a sick parent, academic struggles, and the pressures of teenage life is incredibly tough. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even hopeless at times. But remember, you're not alone in this, and there are ways to cope and grow stronger.
Addressing Your Challenges
Let's break down some of the issues you're facing and explore potential solutions:
1. Family and Health:
Prioritize your dad: While it's difficult, try to focus on supporting your family during this time. Spending quality time with your dad, even if it's just small moments, can be incredibly meaningful.
Seek support: Talk to someone you trust, like a close friend, relative, or counselor, about how you're feeling. Sharing your emotions can be a huge relief.
Consider a support group: Joining a support group for children of cancer patients can provide valuable connections and coping strategies.
2. School and Academics:
Talk to your teachers: Be honest with your teachers about what you're going through. They might be able to offer extra help or accommodations.
Find a study buddy: Working with a classmate can make learning more enjoyable and effective.
Explore tutoring: Consider getting a tutor for subjects you're struggling with.
Take breaks: It's important to rest and recharge. Short breaks can help you focus better when you return to your studies.
3. Job Hunting:
Focus on building skills: While job hunting can be frustrating, focus on developing skills that will make you a more attractive candidate, such as computer skills or customer service.
Volunteer: Volunteering can help you gain experience and build your resume.
Network: Connect with people in your field of interest. Networking can lead to job opportunities.
4. Mental and Emotional Well-being:
Practice self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, like reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.
Exercise regularly: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve mood.
Limit screen time: Spending too much time on social media can be overwhelming.
Seek professional help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or depressed, consider talking to a therapist.
Building Resilience
Remember, challenges are a normal part of life. How you respond to them is what matters. Here are some tips for building resilience:
Set realistic goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small.
Develop a growth mindset: Believe in your ability to learn and grow.
Practice gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Take care of your physical health: Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
You are strong and capable, and you will get through this. It's okay to ask for help and seek support. Remember, things will get better.
Best wishes!
Marylou DiFilippo
Actor, Teacher
50
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Marylou’s Answer
I’m so very sorry. Rough.
https://www.hcf.com.au/health-agenda/body-mind/mental-health/moving-through-grief
The seven stages of grief. This list has helped me get through some tough times.
I have a tattoo on my left wrist. It says ‘Breathe’. A constant reminder to do so. Sometimes, when under stress, I forget. Don’t forget to breathe.
https://www.hcf.com.au/health-agenda/body-mind/mental-health/moving-through-grief
The seven stages of grief. This list has helped me get through some tough times.
I have a tattoo on my left wrist. It says ‘Breathe’. A constant reminder to do so. Sometimes, when under stress, I forget. Don’t forget to breathe.
Your answer is not just helping Jessica- thank you!
Nadeem Zafar
Michelle M.
Entertainment Industry
1737
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Jessica !
I am so sorry for all you have been going through. But you have reached out and that is a very important step. You are having a normal reaction to adjusting to some pretty serious changes around you and it's no wonder that the situation has consumed you and caused changes in school. It is your normal reaction and try not to feel negative about yourself. Everyone goes through a period of change and disappointment. You are good and the cool thing is, you are good enough. Every experience will leave you with a life lesson, that doesn't make it easier, but you are not alone and it does sound like you need to make some changes to make your adjustment easier.
There are three things that you can do about school if your feelings continue. They may sound a bit drastic sort of, but since you have lost motivation and have been witnessing negative things from teachers, I have some suggestions - not saying to do them - but just some to think about to know that there are options and a change in things may help. It would not affect going to college. You would be able to have a great college life. But for now, one thing you can do is visit your school social worker or guidance counselor and ask about possibly being transferred to a different school. Ask about the procedures to do that and tell your mother the information and see what she says. There's no value in staying in a school at which the teachers provide no positive help or encouragement.
The next option is to (and I don't usually recommend this for anyone, but here I am now because you should consider everything. This may not be for you.) quit school and take a GED course and get a GED. You can do this at age 16. I never recommend it but it exists as an option. You would still be able to go to college if you have a GED.
Next is really what I would choose if I were in your shoes. Homeschool. Your mom may think it might be an extra stressor for her, but Homeschooling takes on definite education with diverse scheduling (it doesn't have to be from 9AM to 3PM or any set time) and many people involved. It doesn't even have to be a parent that homeschools you. There is a lot of information about homeschooling online and you definitely can attend college and get scholarships by being homeschooled. Talk with your Guidance counselor about this because there are two ways that you can do it. The one I recommend is going through your current high school's guideline protocol. This way you will receive a regular high school diploma, but you need to obtain the details and also find relatives or friends that would be able to follow the guidelines and teach. There is a lot for them to use online, too. You would be homeschooled for just your Junior and Senior year and then off to college when you choose.
I am not saying to do any of these things, rather just offering what's out there for you at this difficult time. Remember that you are normal, your feelings are valid and normal and right now might surely benefit from a positive environment at least for part of the day. We all react differently to things and I advise keep being yourself and keep reaching out. I hope that this is helpful and suggest that you reach out here again. For every situation there is a solution. Try to remember that and stay strong through this hard time.
I am so sorry for all you have been going through. But you have reached out and that is a very important step. You are having a normal reaction to adjusting to some pretty serious changes around you and it's no wonder that the situation has consumed you and caused changes in school. It is your normal reaction and try not to feel negative about yourself. Everyone goes through a period of change and disappointment. You are good and the cool thing is, you are good enough. Every experience will leave you with a life lesson, that doesn't make it easier, but you are not alone and it does sound like you need to make some changes to make your adjustment easier.
There are three things that you can do about school if your feelings continue. They may sound a bit drastic sort of, but since you have lost motivation and have been witnessing negative things from teachers, I have some suggestions - not saying to do them - but just some to think about to know that there are options and a change in things may help. It would not affect going to college. You would be able to have a great college life. But for now, one thing you can do is visit your school social worker or guidance counselor and ask about possibly being transferred to a different school. Ask about the procedures to do that and tell your mother the information and see what she says. There's no value in staying in a school at which the teachers provide no positive help or encouragement.
The next option is to (and I don't usually recommend this for anyone, but here I am now because you should consider everything. This may not be for you.) quit school and take a GED course and get a GED. You can do this at age 16. I never recommend it but it exists as an option. You would still be able to go to college if you have a GED.
Next is really what I would choose if I were in your shoes. Homeschool. Your mom may think it might be an extra stressor for her, but Homeschooling takes on definite education with diverse scheduling (it doesn't have to be from 9AM to 3PM or any set time) and many people involved. It doesn't even have to be a parent that homeschools you. There is a lot of information about homeschooling online and you definitely can attend college and get scholarships by being homeschooled. Talk with your Guidance counselor about this because there are two ways that you can do it. The one I recommend is going through your current high school's guideline protocol. This way you will receive a regular high school diploma, but you need to obtain the details and also find relatives or friends that would be able to follow the guidelines and teach. There is a lot for them to use online, too. You would be homeschooled for just your Junior and Senior year and then off to college when you choose.
I am not saying to do any of these things, rather just offering what's out there for you at this difficult time. Remember that you are normal, your feelings are valid and normal and right now might surely benefit from a positive environment at least for part of the day. We all react differently to things and I advise keep being yourself and keep reaching out. I hope that this is helpful and suggest that you reach out here again. For every situation there is a solution. Try to remember that and stay strong through this hard time.