7 answers
Hosanna
Student
1
Question
Updated
474 views
Should I take a job offer I know is not well-suited for my situation?
Hello! I recently graduated with a BA (Liberal Studies and General Management) and am attempting to find a career. I am 19, extremely inexperienced, and confused; I recently got a job offer from the Department of Children's Services for a Case Manager. I have a few days to decide whether I should take the offer.
The only issue is I don't believe I can do the job and know it is not a good fit (in terms of my skills, abilities, experiences, tolerance, etc.); further, on a personal note, I have been having a deep struggle with my mental health and I am aware that accepting this offer would be risky in that regard.
I am lucky to be in a position where I can reject the position and take the time to find another, but I wonder if that is morally wrong since many would kill to be in this position. Any thoughts?
7 answers
Rose Hecksher Schamberger
CTO
1
Answer
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Updated
Rose’s Answer
Hello Hosana,
Remember, your physical and mental wellbeing are your most valuable treasures. Just as you've mentioned, you're in a fortunate position to decline this offer and continue your search for a role that will not negatively affect your mental health. As long as it's financially feasible, don't compromise by accepting a job that isn't the right fit for you.
Wishing you all the best in your job hunt.
Remember, your physical and mental wellbeing are your most valuable treasures. Just as you've mentioned, you're in a fortunate position to decline this offer and continue your search for a role that will not negatively affect your mental health. As long as it's financially feasible, don't compromise by accepting a job that isn't the right fit for you.
Wishing you all the best in your job hunt.
Thank you for taking the time to reply, Rose! I appreciate your advice; not compromising and pursuing a fitting career is likely the path I will take. Thanks again!
Hosanna
Michelle M.
Entertainment Industry
1858
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Hosanna !
I realize it is too late for the advice because you've probably made your decision as your deadline is met by now. I can however provide some reassuring support in case you've turned the Case Manager position down. If you accepted it, return here with more questions.
You really have very clear insight about this position. Between a first and second career in Acting, I was a Case Manager for 27 years, working with many/all populations and in very many venues. Since your position would be with Child Protective Services, well, that is the more stressful venue to work in as a case manager if not the most challenging. There are so many wonderful positions for you out there.
You said it yourself - you know that you cannot do this job. Guess what ? I avoided Child Services positions my whole career simply because of the politics, stress, sadness, changing rules, limitations on what you can do for the children and sometimes staff that may not be like-minded with you. I know this sounds daunting, but that is how it is. That being said, there would definitely be times on the job where your tolerance and mental health would be pushed to its' limits. Your intuition was spot on !
There is no way that you should feel guilty not taking this job. You've said that you're inexperienced and lack skills and that is an important recognition when considering working in the fast paced, hectic and emotional realm of child services.
It is my opinion that it is absolutely not morally wrong to reject this job. You have every logical and practical reason to not accept it. Plus I think that you'd be doing yourself a favor because you would have to be strong enough to withstand a lot of vicarious trauma at that position. That means that you'd be dealing with some very horrific situations that involve children and feel strong sympathy for them. You'd have to know how to not let it affect you.
Again, you have keen insight. Another reason to not feel bad if you've passed on this position is because yes, there's a long line of people that are in the que for the job and you did not cause any problem for the agency by turning the job down. Think of what is best for yourself - you didn't cause any problems for the agency by turning it down, if you did turn it down. At almost every case management position I've had - and there have been many in 27 years- there are always some staff that have a mental health disability and a lot of times I have seen that it doesn't work out for some. Don't let your work be an issue - strive for something that you will love doing and that puts a smile upon your face.
Now, if you accepted the job, definitely come back here and ask more questions. We are happy to provide advice along the way. Remember, always go with your instincts and you seemed to have thought this one out clearly and reasonably ! Best wishes in all you do !
I realize it is too late for the advice because you've probably made your decision as your deadline is met by now. I can however provide some reassuring support in case you've turned the Case Manager position down. If you accepted it, return here with more questions.
You really have very clear insight about this position. Between a first and second career in Acting, I was a Case Manager for 27 years, working with many/all populations and in very many venues. Since your position would be with Child Protective Services, well, that is the more stressful venue to work in as a case manager if not the most challenging. There are so many wonderful positions for you out there.
You said it yourself - you know that you cannot do this job. Guess what ? I avoided Child Services positions my whole career simply because of the politics, stress, sadness, changing rules, limitations on what you can do for the children and sometimes staff that may not be like-minded with you. I know this sounds daunting, but that is how it is. That being said, there would definitely be times on the job where your tolerance and mental health would be pushed to its' limits. Your intuition was spot on !
There is no way that you should feel guilty not taking this job. You've said that you're inexperienced and lack skills and that is an important recognition when considering working in the fast paced, hectic and emotional realm of child services.
It is my opinion that it is absolutely not morally wrong to reject this job. You have every logical and practical reason to not accept it. Plus I think that you'd be doing yourself a favor because you would have to be strong enough to withstand a lot of vicarious trauma at that position. That means that you'd be dealing with some very horrific situations that involve children and feel strong sympathy for them. You'd have to know how to not let it affect you.
Again, you have keen insight. Another reason to not feel bad if you've passed on this position is because yes, there's a long line of people that are in the que for the job and you did not cause any problem for the agency by turning the job down. Think of what is best for yourself - you didn't cause any problems for the agency by turning it down, if you did turn it down. At almost every case management position I've had - and there have been many in 27 years- there are always some staff that have a mental health disability and a lot of times I have seen that it doesn't work out for some. Don't let your work be an issue - strive for something that you will love doing and that puts a smile upon your face.
Now, if you accepted the job, definitely come back here and ask more questions. We are happy to provide advice along the way. Remember, always go with your instincts and you seemed to have thought this one out clearly and reasonably ! Best wishes in all you do !
Michelle! You are awesome! Your insight on this situation is golden. Luckily, I have more time to decide and will certainly consider your comments. Your reply is incredibly thoughtful and careful to meet me where I'm at, which is much appreciated. I will carefully evaluate whether I can tolerate this position's high-stress environment in combination with feelings of powerlessness and sadness. I also value your acknowledgment of the moral implications of my decision and your reiterated reassurance regarding the lack of an objectively condemnable decision or the need for a guilt-ridden conscience; I appreciate your objective yet experienced stance on the issue.
Hosanna
I am glad that it could be helpful and if you have any other questions, do return here. I wish you all the best moving forward !
Michelle M.
Justin Shapiro
Accounting | Finance | Financial Systems | Non-Profit Volunteer
74
Answers
Charlotte, North Carolina
Updated
Justin’s Answer
Hi Hosanna,
It’s completely understandable to feel conflicted in this situation. First and foremost, your mental health and well-being should be the priority when making such significant decisions. Here are some factors to consider as you think this through:
1. Alignment with Your Skills and Experience: If you already sense that the job isn’t a good fit for your abilities and experience, it’s important to acknowledge that. Taking a role that feels beyond your current capabilities could lead to stress, burnout, or underperformance, especially early in your career when you’re still gaining confidence and building foundational skills.
2. Impact on Mental Health: Starting a new job can be challenging in the best of circumstances, and a role like Case Manager in the Department of Children’s Services could be emotionally demanding and high-stress. Given that you’re already struggling with your mental health, it’s wise to consider whether taking this job might exacerbate those issues.
3. Financial and Personal Situation: If you have the financial and personal stability to turn down the job and wait for a better fit, that’s a privilege worth using. While there may be a sense of guilt or feeling of moral obligation because others may not have the same option, this is your career and life. Your choice should be guided by what’s best for your long-term well-being and growth, not external pressure.
4. Future Opportunities: By taking more time to search for a position that aligns better with your skills and interests, you’ll be setting yourself up for greater success and a more fulfilling start to your career. This might also allow you to seek roles that are more manageable given your current mental health status and provide you with a better balance to maintain or improve it.
5. Perspective on Morality: It’s not selfish or wrong to prioritize yourself and decline an offer that doesn’t suit your situation. Many people take jobs that aren’t a fit out of necessity, but that often comes at a personal cost. If you have the ability to make a decision that supports your health and future prospects, it’s both wise and valid to do so.
Final Thought:
Listen to your instincts. If something is telling you that this position isn’t right and could worsen your mental health, it’s okay to say no. You’re at an early stage in your career, and finding the right path will be more beneficial than accepting a job that feels wrong just because you feel fortunate to have an offer.
Taking the time to find a position that aligns with your skills and provides a supportive environment is not only better for you but will also enable you to contribute more effectively when you do find the right job. It’s about making choices that set you up for sustainable success and well-being.
It’s completely understandable to feel conflicted in this situation. First and foremost, your mental health and well-being should be the priority when making such significant decisions. Here are some factors to consider as you think this through:
1. Alignment with Your Skills and Experience: If you already sense that the job isn’t a good fit for your abilities and experience, it’s important to acknowledge that. Taking a role that feels beyond your current capabilities could lead to stress, burnout, or underperformance, especially early in your career when you’re still gaining confidence and building foundational skills.
2. Impact on Mental Health: Starting a new job can be challenging in the best of circumstances, and a role like Case Manager in the Department of Children’s Services could be emotionally demanding and high-stress. Given that you’re already struggling with your mental health, it’s wise to consider whether taking this job might exacerbate those issues.
3. Financial and Personal Situation: If you have the financial and personal stability to turn down the job and wait for a better fit, that’s a privilege worth using. While there may be a sense of guilt or feeling of moral obligation because others may not have the same option, this is your career and life. Your choice should be guided by what’s best for your long-term well-being and growth, not external pressure.
4. Future Opportunities: By taking more time to search for a position that aligns better with your skills and interests, you’ll be setting yourself up for greater success and a more fulfilling start to your career. This might also allow you to seek roles that are more manageable given your current mental health status and provide you with a better balance to maintain or improve it.
5. Perspective on Morality: It’s not selfish or wrong to prioritize yourself and decline an offer that doesn’t suit your situation. Many people take jobs that aren’t a fit out of necessity, but that often comes at a personal cost. If you have the ability to make a decision that supports your health and future prospects, it’s both wise and valid to do so.
Final Thought:
Listen to your instincts. If something is telling you that this position isn’t right and could worsen your mental health, it’s okay to say no. You’re at an early stage in your career, and finding the right path will be more beneficial than accepting a job that feels wrong just because you feel fortunate to have an offer.
Taking the time to find a position that aligns with your skills and provides a supportive environment is not only better for you but will also enable you to contribute more effectively when you do find the right job. It’s about making choices that set you up for sustainable success and well-being.
Hey Justin! Thank you for taking the time to reply with this overview and the corresponding recommendations. The summary is quite helpful as I move forward and continue to consider all the possibilities. All the best!
Hosanna
Ana Van Alstine (Holloway)
Sr Enterprise Account Executive
2
Answers
Phoenix, Arizona
Updated
Ana’s Answer
Hello Hosanna,
I firmly believe that every experience we have opens the door to another, which is a comforting thought considering you mentioned having little to no work experience. Remember, your choices shape your journey, and keeping an open mind about your career path can lead to unexpected learning opportunities and personal growth.
If you feel you're lacking the necessary skills, diving into something new could be the perfect way to discover your true calling. After all, you won't know until you try, right?
And remember, nothing is set in stone. You might find that the bright side of this situation is even brighter than you imagined, especially when it comes to mental health. Helping others often gives us a fresh perspective on our own circumstances, and can help us find value in places we least expected.
I encourage you to take a leap of faith, and embark on this journey of learning. It's the best way to equip yourself for life's many twists and turns. Staying adaptable and flexible is the secret to success in both your personal and professional life.
Best of luck to you!
I firmly believe that every experience we have opens the door to another, which is a comforting thought considering you mentioned having little to no work experience. Remember, your choices shape your journey, and keeping an open mind about your career path can lead to unexpected learning opportunities and personal growth.
If you feel you're lacking the necessary skills, diving into something new could be the perfect way to discover your true calling. After all, you won't know until you try, right?
And remember, nothing is set in stone. You might find that the bright side of this situation is even brighter than you imagined, especially when it comes to mental health. Helping others often gives us a fresh perspective on our own circumstances, and can help us find value in places we least expected.
I encourage you to take a leap of faith, and embark on this journey of learning. It's the best way to equip yourself for life's many twists and turns. Staying adaptable and flexible is the secret to success in both your personal and professional life.
Best of luck to you!
Hi Ana, thank you for the thoughtful reply! You make many good points that I will carefully consider. Taking this opportunity would certainly fast-track my learning and experience as well as unlock new possibilities. Thank you again; I value your perspective!
Hosanna
Adaobi Ogheneovo B.SC Acct, MPA , IBM
CLIENT MANAGER
65
Answers
Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada
Updated
Adaobi’s Answer
It's generally best to avoid taking a job that doesn't fit well with your situation. It might lead to dissatisfaction and stress. Consider your long-term goals and look for opportunities that align better with them.
I do worry about setting out on a misaligned career path. I agree that my best move while deciding could be to create a more concrete long-term plan. Thank you for the idea and for taking the time out of your day to offer me some advice!
Hosanna
Aman Kumar
Software engineer
39
Answers
Hyderabad, Telangana, India
Updated
Aman’s Answer
Hi Hosanna,
First, congratulations on receiving a job offer just after graduation! That’s an achievement in itself. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure about starting a job that doesn’t align with your skills or current state of mind. Mental health should always come first, and it sounds like you have a strong awareness of your personal limits, which is commendable.
Taking a job like Case Manager can be incredibly demanding, especially working in a field focused on children and families, which often requires a strong emotional resilience and particular skills in communication and crisis management. If you’re feeling that this role doesn’t suit you now, then it’s essential to heed that instinct. It’s vital to protect your mental health, especially when you’ve mentioned you are struggling in that area.
Moreover, it’s not morally wrong to decline an opportunity that doesn’t serve you well. The right job fit can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and career growth. Consider this: would it be better to rush into a position where you could be unhappy, stressed, or burnt out, or to take your time in finding something more aligned with your strengths?
You mentioned you have the luxury of saying no and taking time to reassess. Embrace that privilege! Use this time to explore other career options that excite you or volunteer for organizations where you can gain relevant experience without the high stakes of a full-time position. This can help build your confidence, skill set, and resume, preparing you for a role that feels right in the future. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs – the right job for you is out there, and you’ll find it.
Best of luck in your decision! Take care of yourself.
First, congratulations on receiving a job offer just after graduation! That’s an achievement in itself. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure about starting a job that doesn’t align with your skills or current state of mind. Mental health should always come first, and it sounds like you have a strong awareness of your personal limits, which is commendable.
Taking a job like Case Manager can be incredibly demanding, especially working in a field focused on children and families, which often requires a strong emotional resilience and particular skills in communication and crisis management. If you’re feeling that this role doesn’t suit you now, then it’s essential to heed that instinct. It’s vital to protect your mental health, especially when you’ve mentioned you are struggling in that area.
Moreover, it’s not morally wrong to decline an opportunity that doesn’t serve you well. The right job fit can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and career growth. Consider this: would it be better to rush into a position where you could be unhappy, stressed, or burnt out, or to take your time in finding something more aligned with your strengths?
You mentioned you have the luxury of saying no and taking time to reassess. Embrace that privilege! Use this time to explore other career options that excite you or volunteer for organizations where you can gain relevant experience without the high stakes of a full-time position. This can help build your confidence, skill set, and resume, preparing you for a role that feels right in the future. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs – the right job for you is out there, and you’ll find it.
Best of luck in your decision! Take care of yourself.
Claudia Donaghey
Solution Consultant
2
Answers
Dublin, County Dublin
Updated
Claudia’s Answer
In my experience, the only regrets I have when I look back on my career are the opportunities that I didn't take. I often wonder where I would be now if I had taken the chances. You say that you have been offered this position. Obviously you have been through an interview process and the employer has chosen you out of all the candidates. They think you are suited to the job. It is normal to feel nervous about taking on a new role and remember, its not about knowing how to do everything on day one, it is having the ability to learn the skills that you need. You could always take the role and if you find that it isn't for you then you could move roles within the company or find something more suitable. See first point above!!
Take the role, see what it is like, get some experience
Claudia recommends the following next steps:
Hi Claudia! Thank you for your advice; I appreciate your perspective. I wonder how I might feel about passing on this opportunity a few years from now. Your outlook is relevant to many aspects of life and I will take it to heart. Thanks again!
Hosanna
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