10 answers
Isabel
Student
Barranquilla, Atlantico, Colombia
1
Question
Updated
780 views
As a high school student, how do I know if my feelings come from a fear of failure, or because of a career not being right for me ?
A lot of times, I feel frustrated, I have yet to go to college but I have already an idea of a career, which i've been thinking about for long and taking action for. Yet, sometimes when I'm working on it, it's hard for me to start the task/practice/etc, I'm not sure if these feelings of unsureness or frustration come from my fear of failure, or my perfectionism, or it's happens becasue the career just isn't right for me, Thank you!
Thank you to everyone who answered! I feel much better about my career. You don't need to answer more, I'm so much clearer on this<33
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10 answers
Michelle M.
Actress
2205
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Isabel !
Trust me when I say that even seasoned professionals sometimes have the same feelings you've expressed here and they're already full-fledged involved in their career. As you can guess, these feelings are natural reactions to cause and effect and are nothing to be worried about. It's like I always say, it's not the problem that's important, it's what you do about it that is the important thing. So do not worry. Your feelings are natural and part of personal discovery and development. I do wonder what field of work you are referring to, though.
You are to be commended. You already have a long-time career interest that you are taking active steps for. The interesting word you used to talk about it is that you say it happens SOMETIMES. This is part of exploring and trying. As for fear of failure, replace it with your innate curiosity about the subject. Set backs are life's lessons to learn from, too. As a younger person, it's important to discover your strengths and things you need to work more on. If I knew what your career interest is I could give you more precise advice.
Is it possible to do this work in a team or one other person, or does it have to be done by yourself ? Sometimes working with someone can make things goes smoother and feel like a collaboration and take less focus off yourself. To restore your comfort zone, I would advise joining some clubs, groups or activities connected to your career interest. You'll see that others have their ups and downs, too, especially when first learning or trying out a career interest. You can also return here to ask direct questions about the career so that you can get more specialized advice for it.
I know this sounds strange, but how would you feel about taking a break from that work for just a week, just to see how you feel about it after that time. Personally, I think if you thought that the work was not for you, you would have stopped your involvement a while ago. Taking a break may help if you think it's a good idea.
It's interesting. We bring ourselves to our work. We bring our personality, our beliefs and our expectations, and it's perfectly fine to have high expectations but at reasonable levels. Many successful people are perfectionists but they understand the natural flow of life is a balance of ups and downs.
Being around supportive and understanding people will help greatly. That's why I advise joining groups or clubs. Finding new friends and learning from older people is always an enriching experience. Do return here to ask more questions, mentioning what your career interest is because that seems to be the trigger for your feelings you've expressed. Don't give up. Take a break if you need to and don't let anything or anyone stop you from pursuing your dream career ! I hope this helps and wish you all the best !
Trust me when I say that even seasoned professionals sometimes have the same feelings you've expressed here and they're already full-fledged involved in their career. As you can guess, these feelings are natural reactions to cause and effect and are nothing to be worried about. It's like I always say, it's not the problem that's important, it's what you do about it that is the important thing. So do not worry. Your feelings are natural and part of personal discovery and development. I do wonder what field of work you are referring to, though.
You are to be commended. You already have a long-time career interest that you are taking active steps for. The interesting word you used to talk about it is that you say it happens SOMETIMES. This is part of exploring and trying. As for fear of failure, replace it with your innate curiosity about the subject. Set backs are life's lessons to learn from, too. As a younger person, it's important to discover your strengths and things you need to work more on. If I knew what your career interest is I could give you more precise advice.
Is it possible to do this work in a team or one other person, or does it have to be done by yourself ? Sometimes working with someone can make things goes smoother and feel like a collaboration and take less focus off yourself. To restore your comfort zone, I would advise joining some clubs, groups or activities connected to your career interest. You'll see that others have their ups and downs, too, especially when first learning or trying out a career interest. You can also return here to ask direct questions about the career so that you can get more specialized advice for it.
I know this sounds strange, but how would you feel about taking a break from that work for just a week, just to see how you feel about it after that time. Personally, I think if you thought that the work was not for you, you would have stopped your involvement a while ago. Taking a break may help if you think it's a good idea.
It's interesting. We bring ourselves to our work. We bring our personality, our beliefs and our expectations, and it's perfectly fine to have high expectations but at reasonable levels. Many successful people are perfectionists but they understand the natural flow of life is a balance of ups and downs.
Being around supportive and understanding people will help greatly. That's why I advise joining groups or clubs. Finding new friends and learning from older people is always an enriching experience. Do return here to ask more questions, mentioning what your career interest is because that seems to be the trigger for your feelings you've expressed. Don't give up. Take a break if you need to and don't let anything or anyone stop you from pursuing your dream career ! I hope this helps and wish you all the best !
I specifically mean coding/software engineering, I've chosen a career path and am practicing the language needed for it, and learning about the tools to use said language ^^ and yes! that makes much sense, I'll remind myself feeling is ok as long as I don't let it rule me, it can be done in groups! since it's coding, but I suppose It's rather intimidating to reach out since this is a male-dominated field, and most men are "tough" in the sense hard to approach & ask for help, I'll make sure to join more things related to it! and thank you SO SO much, this whole reply is incredibly helpful, you sound so wise and just like the person I'd love to have as a mentor <3🫶
Isabel
You are most welcome for the advice. You are mastering something that many people would not have the capacity to master, myself included, LOL ! Keep up the good work, appreciate your unique self and pace yourself as you discover the intricate field of computer science. You are amazing !
Michelle M.
Marlyce Campbell
Respiratory Therapist
44
Answers
WaKeeney, Kansas
Updated
Marlyce’s Answer
Isabel welcome
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.
Good luck
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.
Good luck
Honestly, I hadn-t thought of this, I most definetly will, thank you!!
Isabel
Marlyce Campbell
Respiratory Therapist
44
Answers
WaKeeney, Kansas
Updated
Marlyce’s Answer
Isabel welcome
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.
Get with your school counselor they can be a good resource also
Good luck
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.
Get with your school counselor they can be a good resource also
Good luck
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian-Nutritionist & Software Developer since 1972 🡆 Optimization Of Human Performance
7220
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Good Day Isabel!
Understanding Your Feelings: Fear of Failure vs. Career Mismatch
To determine whether your feelings of frustration and uncertainty stem from a fear of failure or an indication that the career you are considering may not be right for you, it is essential to analyze your emotions and thought patterns systematically. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help clarify your situation:
1. Self-Reflection: Identify Your Emotions Begin by taking some time to reflect on your feelings when you think about or engage in activities related to the career you’re considering. Ask yourself questions such as:
What specific thoughts come to mind when I think about starting a task related to this career?
Do I feel excited, anxious, indifferent, or overwhelmed?
Are there particular aspects of the career that I dread or feel passionate about?
By journaling these reflections, you can gain insight into whether your feelings are predominantly negative (indicating fear) or if they stem from a lack of interest in the tasks associated with the career.
2. Analyze Your Fear of Failure Fear of failure is common among students and can manifest in various ways, including procrastination, perfectionism, and avoidance behaviors. Consider the following:
Do you often find yourself delaying tasks because you worry about not performing well?
Are you overly critical of your work, leading to feelings of inadequacy?
Do you avoid challenges within this career field due to fear of making mistakes?
If these patterns resonate with you, it may indicate that your feelings are rooted in fear rather than a mismatch with the career itself.
3. Evaluate Your Interest and Passion On the other hand, if your reflections reveal a consistent lack of enthusiasm for the tasks associated with this career path, it could suggest that it might not be the right fit for you. To assess this:
Consider what initially attracted you to this career.
Reflect on whether those interests still hold true.
Think about how much effort you’re willing to invest in overcoming challenges related to this field.
If your motivation wanes significantly when faced with obstacles or routine tasks required by this career, it may signal that another path could be more fulfilling.
4. Seek Feedback and Guidance Engaging with mentors, teachers, or professionals in the field can provide valuable perspectives. They can help identify whether what you’re experiencing is common among students pursuing similar paths or if it reflects deeper misalignments with your interests.
5. Experiment and Explore If possible, try engaging in internships, volunteer opportunities, or part-time jobs related to the career you’re considering. This hands-on experience can provide clarity regarding whether the day-to-day realities align with your expectations and interests.
6. Consider Professional Help If feelings of frustration persist and significantly impact your well-being or decision-making process, consider speaking with a counselor or psychologist who specializes in educational and career development. They can offer strategies tailored specifically for managing anxiety and exploring potential careers.
In summary, distinguishing between fear of failure and a potential mismatch requires introspection regarding your emotions towards both the tasks involved in the chosen field and how they align with your interests and values. By reflecting on these aspects systematically and seeking external input where necessary, you’ll be better equipped to make informed decisions about your future.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used in Answering this Question
American Psychological Association (APA)
The APA provides extensive resources on understanding anxiety disorders such as fear of failure (atychiphobia) and offers insights into coping mechanisms relevant for students facing academic pressures.
National Career Development Association (NCDA)
The NCDA offers guidelines on effective career exploration strategies for students which include self-assessment tools that help individuals understand their interests better.
MindTools
MindTools provides practical resources focused on personal development skills including managing perfectionism and overcoming procrastination which are crucial for students navigating their academic careers.
Probability that the answer is correct: 95%
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|===========================God Bless You, Richly!=========================|
|===========================James Constantine===========================|
|==================THE AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK DIETITIAN===================|
|==================Programming For Your Nutrition Education==================|
|============================~ Since 1972!==============================|
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
Understanding Your Feelings: Fear of Failure vs. Career Mismatch
To determine whether your feelings of frustration and uncertainty stem from a fear of failure or an indication that the career you are considering may not be right for you, it is essential to analyze your emotions and thought patterns systematically. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help clarify your situation:
1. Self-Reflection: Identify Your Emotions Begin by taking some time to reflect on your feelings when you think about or engage in activities related to the career you’re considering. Ask yourself questions such as:
What specific thoughts come to mind when I think about starting a task related to this career?
Do I feel excited, anxious, indifferent, or overwhelmed?
Are there particular aspects of the career that I dread or feel passionate about?
By journaling these reflections, you can gain insight into whether your feelings are predominantly negative (indicating fear) or if they stem from a lack of interest in the tasks associated with the career.
2. Analyze Your Fear of Failure Fear of failure is common among students and can manifest in various ways, including procrastination, perfectionism, and avoidance behaviors. Consider the following:
Do you often find yourself delaying tasks because you worry about not performing well?
Are you overly critical of your work, leading to feelings of inadequacy?
Do you avoid challenges within this career field due to fear of making mistakes?
If these patterns resonate with you, it may indicate that your feelings are rooted in fear rather than a mismatch with the career itself.
3. Evaluate Your Interest and Passion On the other hand, if your reflections reveal a consistent lack of enthusiasm for the tasks associated with this career path, it could suggest that it might not be the right fit for you. To assess this:
Consider what initially attracted you to this career.
Reflect on whether those interests still hold true.
Think about how much effort you’re willing to invest in overcoming challenges related to this field.
If your motivation wanes significantly when faced with obstacles or routine tasks required by this career, it may signal that another path could be more fulfilling.
4. Seek Feedback and Guidance Engaging with mentors, teachers, or professionals in the field can provide valuable perspectives. They can help identify whether what you’re experiencing is common among students pursuing similar paths or if it reflects deeper misalignments with your interests.
5. Experiment and Explore If possible, try engaging in internships, volunteer opportunities, or part-time jobs related to the career you’re considering. This hands-on experience can provide clarity regarding whether the day-to-day realities align with your expectations and interests.
6. Consider Professional Help If feelings of frustration persist and significantly impact your well-being or decision-making process, consider speaking with a counselor or psychologist who specializes in educational and career development. They can offer strategies tailored specifically for managing anxiety and exploring potential careers.
In summary, distinguishing between fear of failure and a potential mismatch requires introspection regarding your emotions towards both the tasks involved in the chosen field and how they align with your interests and values. By reflecting on these aspects systematically and seeking external input where necessary, you’ll be better equipped to make informed decisions about your future.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used in Answering this Question
American Psychological Association (APA)
The APA provides extensive resources on understanding anxiety disorders such as fear of failure (atychiphobia) and offers insights into coping mechanisms relevant for students facing academic pressures.
National Career Development Association (NCDA)
The NCDA offers guidelines on effective career exploration strategies for students which include self-assessment tools that help individuals understand their interests better.
MindTools
MindTools provides practical resources focused on personal development skills including managing perfectionism and overcoming procrastination which are crucial for students navigating their academic careers.
Probability that the answer is correct: 95%
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
|===========================God Bless You, Richly!=========================|
|===========================James Constantine===========================|
|==================THE AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK DIETITIAN===================|
|==================Programming For Your Nutrition Education==================|
|============================~ Since 1972!==============================|
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
This is incredibly helpful! I'll take ALL of this in account, many thanks!
Isabel
Yes Isabel if you need more information don't hesitate to contact us because that is what we are here for!
James Constantine Frangos
Grant Bergman
Technical procedure writer and maintenance planner
3
Answers
Watertown, Wisconsin
Updated
Grant’s Answer
Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Try and use Linkedin to find someone who you think would be a good mentor with good experience. I assure you even professionals who are well established in their roles have the same feelings you do at times.
Find yourself a mentor that you can build a relationship with. This will help you understand the steps you need to take. If you eliminate some of the unknown, maybe it will seem less intimidating!
Good luck, you can do it!
Find yourself a mentor that you can build a relationship with. This will help you understand the steps you need to take. If you eliminate some of the unknown, maybe it will seem less intimidating!
Good luck, you can do it!
I will do so then! and thank you, I had actually been thinking of getting a mentor recently, so I-ll take this as my sign , appreciate it!
Isabel
Sidney Lum
IT specialist
1
Answer
Murrieta, California
Updated
Sidney’s Answer
Hi Isabel,
It feels very normal feeling uncertain and disturbed while working toward your career goals, and your question reflects thoughtful concern. Self-reflection is important in order to separate perfectionism and fear of failure from what could be a career choice error. This begins by reflecting on what's causing your feelings. While perfectionism may mean extremely high standards that get you in a tailspin when you cannot attain them, fear of failure often surfaces in the guise of procrastination, self-doubt, or anxiety to initiate tasks. A professional mismatch even when successful will, however feel like a chronic lack of interest or enthusiasm for, or even lack of drive regarding, the job.
Reflecting on the motivations behind your choice of career may also clarify your feelings. Write down your career objectives and what motivates you about your chosen career. If your motivations seem to be closely aligned with your values and long-term goals, then frustration is probably more due to perfectionism or fear rather than a misalignment. Try participating in smaller, more manageable career-related activities where you can learn more and get a feel for your emotions. Are there ever moments of happiness or fulfillment even when things are tough? Also, think about reaching out to professionals or observing them to hear their experiences, which might inspire you or give you reason to re-consider your fit.
At other times, variables outside of the work may prove to be much more important, such as having a lack of resources, support, or feedback. By maintaining a journal, you can determine whether your irritation is because of fear, perfectionism, or simply that you're not cut out for your chosen profession. You can overcome these challenges with self-compassion, mental adjustments, or assistance from a mentor or counselor if your emotions are a result of perfectionism or fear of failing. Know that it is perfectly fine to take another path as well if there is no professional fit. Exploring your choices today can also help you avoid time and energy wasted tomorrow.
It feels very normal feeling uncertain and disturbed while working toward your career goals, and your question reflects thoughtful concern. Self-reflection is important in order to separate perfectionism and fear of failure from what could be a career choice error. This begins by reflecting on what's causing your feelings. While perfectionism may mean extremely high standards that get you in a tailspin when you cannot attain them, fear of failure often surfaces in the guise of procrastination, self-doubt, or anxiety to initiate tasks. A professional mismatch even when successful will, however feel like a chronic lack of interest or enthusiasm for, or even lack of drive regarding, the job.
Reflecting on the motivations behind your choice of career may also clarify your feelings. Write down your career objectives and what motivates you about your chosen career. If your motivations seem to be closely aligned with your values and long-term goals, then frustration is probably more due to perfectionism or fear rather than a misalignment. Try participating in smaller, more manageable career-related activities where you can learn more and get a feel for your emotions. Are there ever moments of happiness or fulfillment even when things are tough? Also, think about reaching out to professionals or observing them to hear their experiences, which might inspire you or give you reason to re-consider your fit.
At other times, variables outside of the work may prove to be much more important, such as having a lack of resources, support, or feedback. By maintaining a journal, you can determine whether your irritation is because of fear, perfectionism, or simply that you're not cut out for your chosen profession. You can overcome these challenges with self-compassion, mental adjustments, or assistance from a mentor or counselor if your emotions are a result of perfectionism or fear of failing. Know that it is perfectly fine to take another path as well if there is no professional fit. Exploring your choices today can also help you avoid time and energy wasted tomorrow.
That makes a lot of sense, whether it's more of directly towards the career, or not. I'll work on writing my goals and breaking them down too, I already have a journal in which I'll use all these tips, thank you so much for your help & tips!
Isabel
Najah Phillips
Product Marketing
2
Answers
Atlanta, Georgia
Updated
Najah’s Answer
Hi Isabel!
The fact that you already have any idea of a career that you might be interested in and are starting to work on it is a great start. It's completely natural to feel unsure of what you want to do and it's also ok for you to choose a career and then pivot down the line. For many professionals (including myself), your career path is not always the most linear and often you need to try it out for a bit of time to determine if it's something you enjoy doing. I would recommend trying to be as introspective as possible and think about why you are interested int hat particular career and if it's truly something you are interested in. To do this, you can talk to people who are in that career- if you don't know people in that career you can try reaching out to people on linkedin and asking for an "informational interview" and just pick their brains on what it's like to be in that job.
Also don't be afraid to start again- if you find yourself starting on something and you don't like it, try not to get overwhelmed and try something different to figure out what you truly enjoy doing!
I hope this helps and best of luck!
The fact that you already have any idea of a career that you might be interested in and are starting to work on it is a great start. It's completely natural to feel unsure of what you want to do and it's also ok for you to choose a career and then pivot down the line. For many professionals (including myself), your career path is not always the most linear and often you need to try it out for a bit of time to determine if it's something you enjoy doing. I would recommend trying to be as introspective as possible and think about why you are interested int hat particular career and if it's truly something you are interested in. To do this, you can talk to people who are in that career- if you don't know people in that career you can try reaching out to people on linkedin and asking for an "informational interview" and just pick their brains on what it's like to be in that job.
Also don't be afraid to start again- if you find yourself starting on something and you don't like it, try not to get overwhelmed and try something different to figure out what you truly enjoy doing!
I hope this helps and best of luck!
That's a great idea! I throughly appreciate it, I'll make sure to take my time, and do that, thank you<3
Isabel
Brad Ridgway
Software Developer
3
Answers
DeLand, Florida
Updated
Brad’s Answer
Throughout high school, i was in a state of flux when it came to deciding on my career choice alternating between a few choices throughout my 4 years... Then, i got to college and I changed my major at least 4 times AFTER i got to college (the last time during my junior year). I had doubts along the way for every option i pursued but I believe i could have performed well any of those careers i was interested in. Some of those fields might have been harder to break in than others. There are times i wonder if i made the right choice. Usually i come to the firm conclusion that i did. The timing, the demand for my profession, and the fact i like what i do all meshed together in the end.
I am now almost 50. I have over 25 years at my current company. I may still may make a career change later in life (a park ranger has always been one of those "what ifs" for me). Regardless whether your primary career, a side hustle, or a change.. do something you enjoy and find rewarding.
I am now almost 50. I have over 25 years at my current company. I may still may make a career change later in life (a park ranger has always been one of those "what ifs" for me). Regardless whether your primary career, a side hustle, or a change.. do something you enjoy and find rewarding.
Robyn Provost
Consultant
2
Answers
Austin, Texas
Updated
Robyn’s Answer
Hi Isabel!
It's completely normal to feel unsure about your future, especially when you're still young. One of the biggest misconceptions about choosing a career path is that you either have an obvious 'passion' from the start or you don't. In reality, people often discover - or develop - their passions over time through exploration, trial and error. Curiosity can guide you to new experiences that can help you figure out whether a career truly excites and motivates you. So, take some time to reflect on your values and strengths - what are you curious about? What do you want to learn about? What matters most to you? A career that aligns with your values often feels more rewarding. Your perfect fit at '18' may not be your dream at '27' - and that's okay. Career interests and paths evolve and you don't have to have everything figured out right now. Seek support and advice from your counselor/teacher, share your thoughts as they've most likely helped many students navigate similar uncertainties. Check out clubs and extracurriculars such as student organizations, academic clubs, or sports to see what activities energize you. Keep exploring! Stay open-minded and lean into things that genuinely interests you and makes you feel fulfilled. Over time, you'll gain a better sense of what works for you. Good luck!
It's completely normal to feel unsure about your future, especially when you're still young. One of the biggest misconceptions about choosing a career path is that you either have an obvious 'passion' from the start or you don't. In reality, people often discover - or develop - their passions over time through exploration, trial and error. Curiosity can guide you to new experiences that can help you figure out whether a career truly excites and motivates you. So, take some time to reflect on your values and strengths - what are you curious about? What do you want to learn about? What matters most to you? A career that aligns with your values often feels more rewarding. Your perfect fit at '18' may not be your dream at '27' - and that's okay. Career interests and paths evolve and you don't have to have everything figured out right now. Seek support and advice from your counselor/teacher, share your thoughts as they've most likely helped many students navigate similar uncertainties. Check out clubs and extracurriculars such as student organizations, academic clubs, or sports to see what activities energize you. Keep exploring! Stay open-minded and lean into things that genuinely interests you and makes you feel fulfilled. Over time, you'll gain a better sense of what works for you. Good luck!
I am really grateful you took the time to answer this question.!! This makes a lot of sense, all the advice everyone has given me has been incredibly helpful, And I feel so much better
Isabel
Carlos Alvaro
Engineering and Sales
4
Answers
Toluca, State of Mexico, Mexico
Updated
Carlos’s Answer
Hi Isa!! This is Carlos. Deciding on a career is not an easy task. From my perspective, it is important that you explore what you like to do, what are the things that you really enjoy and that when you do them, time goes by quickly; because that may be the answer. I am a person who considers himself a perfectionist, but something I have learned is that it is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to have errors. You will learn from all of them, nobody is born knowing how to do everything and that is what life is about, learning. Don't get frustrated, now that you're going to go to school, analyze what subjects you like and put your hobbies into the decision too. Finally, be honest with yourself. If you don't like the career you choose, change it. Sometimes social pressure and expectations of others weigh heavily, but be true to yourself and choose thinking about yourself and your future. If you need to change your decision, as we say in Mexico, "It's worth it to do it." I hope the answer helps you.
Thank you so much for the advice, it's really reassuring to hear other's opinions, specially when as kind as yours!
Isabel