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As a high school student, how do I know if my feelings come from a fear of failure, or because of a career not being right for me ?

A lot of times, I feel frustrated, I have yet to go to college but I have already an idea of a career, which i've been thinking about for long and taking action for. Yet, sometimes when I'm working on it, it's hard for me to start the task/practice/etc, I'm not sure if these feelings of unsureness or frustration come from my fear of failure, or my perfectionism, or it's happens becasue the career just isn't right for me, Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who answered! I feel much better about my career

+25 Karma if successful
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Subject: Career question for you

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Michelle’s Answer

Hello, Isabel !

Trust me when I say that even seasoned professionals sometimes have the same feelings you've expressed here and they're already full-fledged involved in their career. As you can guess, these feelings are natural reactions to cause and effect and are nothing to be worried about. It's like I always say, it's not the problem that's important, it's what you do about it that is the important thing. So do not worry. Your feelings are natural and part of personal discovery and development. I do wonder what field of work you are referring to, though.

You are to be commended. You already have a long-time career interest that you are taking active steps for. The interesting word you used to talk about it is that you say it happens SOMETIMES. This is part of exploring and trying. As for fear of failure, replace it with your innate curiosity about the subject. Set backs are life's lessons to learn from, too. As a younger person, it's important to discover your strengths and things you need to work more on. If I knew what your career interest is I could give you more precise advice.

Is it possible to do this work in a team or one other person, or does it have to be done by yourself ? Sometimes working with someone can make things goes smoother and feel like a collaboration and take less focus off yourself. To restore your comfort zone, I would advise joining some clubs, groups or activities connected to your career interest. You'll see that others have their ups and downs, too, especially when first learning or trying out a career interest. You can also return here to ask direct questions about the career so that you can get more specialized advice for it.

I know this sounds strange, but how would you feel about taking a break from that work for just a week, just to see how you feel about it after that time. Personally, I think if you thought that the work was not for you, you would have stopped your involvement a while ago. Taking a break may help if you think it's a good idea.

It's interesting. We bring ourselves to our work. We bring our personality, our beliefs and our expectations, and it's perfectly fine to have high expectations but at reasonable levels. Many successful people are perfectionists but they understand the natural flow of life is a balance of ups and downs.

Being around supportive and understanding people will help greatly. That's why I advise joining groups or clubs. Finding new friends and learning from older people is always an enriching experience. Do return here to ask more questions, mentioning what your career interest is because that seems to be the trigger for your feelings you've expressed. Don't give up. Take a break if you need to and don't let anything or anyone stop you from pursuing your dream career ! I hope this helps and wish you all the best !
Thank you comment icon I specifically mean coding/software engineering, I've chosen a career path and am practicing the language needed for it, and learning about the tools to use said language ^^ and yes! that makes much sense, I'll remind myself feeling is ok as long as I don't let it rule me, it can be done in groups! since it's coding, but I suppose It's rather intimidating to reach out since this is a male-dominated field, and most men are "tough" in the sense hard to approach & ask for help, I'll make sure to join more things related to it! and thank you SO SO much, this whole reply is incredibly helpful, you sound so wise and just like the person I'd love to have as a mentor <3🫶 Isabel
Thank you comment icon You are most welcome for the advice. You are mastering something that many people would not have the capacity to master, myself included, LOL ! Keep up the good work, appreciate your unique self and pace yourself as you discover the intricate field of computer science. You are amazing ! Michelle M.
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Marlyce’s Answer

Isabel welcome
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.
Get with your school counselor they can be a good resource also

Good luck
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Marlyce’s Answer

Isabel welcome
Have you tried job shadowing? That is a great way to find out if you maybe want to continue in this career.
You will also be able to ask questions to people that can really help you and tell you the best schools and
how to get grants or maybe even a business sponsor you.

Good luck
Thank you comment icon Honestly, I hadn-t thought of this, I most definetly will, thank you!! Isabel
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James Constantine’s Answer

Good Day Isabel!

Understanding Your Feelings: Fear of Failure vs. Career Mismatch

To determine whether your feelings of frustration and uncertainty stem from a fear of failure or an indication that the career you are considering may not be right for you, it is essential to analyze your emotions and thought patterns systematically. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help clarify your situation:

1. Self-Reflection: Identify Your Emotions Begin by taking some time to reflect on your feelings when you think about or engage in activities related to the career you’re considering. Ask yourself questions such as:

What specific thoughts come to mind when I think about starting a task related to this career?
Do I feel excited, anxious, indifferent, or overwhelmed?
Are there particular aspects of the career that I dread or feel passionate about?

By journaling these reflections, you can gain insight into whether your feelings are predominantly negative (indicating fear) or if they stem from a lack of interest in the tasks associated with the career.

2. Analyze Your Fear of Failure Fear of failure is common among students and can manifest in various ways, including procrastination, perfectionism, and avoidance behaviors. Consider the following:

Do you often find yourself delaying tasks because you worry about not performing well?
Are you overly critical of your work, leading to feelings of inadequacy?
Do you avoid challenges within this career field due to fear of making mistakes?

If these patterns resonate with you, it may indicate that your feelings are rooted in fear rather than a mismatch with the career itself.

3. Evaluate Your Interest and Passion On the other hand, if your reflections reveal a consistent lack of enthusiasm for the tasks associated with this career path, it could suggest that it might not be the right fit for you. To assess this:

Consider what initially attracted you to this career.
Reflect on whether those interests still hold true.
Think about how much effort you’re willing to invest in overcoming challenges related to this field.

If your motivation wanes significantly when faced with obstacles or routine tasks required by this career, it may signal that another path could be more fulfilling.

4. Seek Feedback and Guidance Engaging with mentors, teachers, or professionals in the field can provide valuable perspectives. They can help identify whether what you’re experiencing is common among students pursuing similar paths or if it reflects deeper misalignments with your interests.

5. Experiment and Explore If possible, try engaging in internships, volunteer opportunities, or part-time jobs related to the career you’re considering. This hands-on experience can provide clarity regarding whether the day-to-day realities align with your expectations and interests.

6. Consider Professional Help If feelings of frustration persist and significantly impact your well-being or decision-making process, consider speaking with a counselor or psychologist who specializes in educational and career development. They can offer strategies tailored specifically for managing anxiety and exploring potential careers.

In summary, distinguishing between fear of failure and a potential mismatch requires introspection regarding your emotions towards both the tasks involved in the chosen field and how they align with your interests and values. By reflecting on these aspects systematically and seeking external input where necessary, you’ll be better equipped to make informed decisions about your future.

Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used in Answering this Question

American Psychological Association (APA)
The APA provides extensive resources on understanding anxiety disorders such as fear of failure (atychiphobia) and offers insights into coping mechanisms relevant for students facing academic pressures.

National Career Development Association (NCDA)
The NCDA offers guidelines on effective career exploration strategies for students which include self-assessment tools that help individuals understand their interests better.

MindTools
MindTools provides practical resources focused on personal development skills including managing perfectionism and overcoming procrastination which are crucial for students navigating their academic careers.

Probability that the answer is correct: 95%

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Thank you comment icon This is incredibly helpful! I'll take ALL of this in account, many thanks! Isabel
Thank you comment icon Yes Isabel if you need more information don't hesitate to contact us because that is what we are here for! James Constantine Frangos
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Grant’s Answer

Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Try and use Linkedin to find someone who you think would be a good mentor with good experience. I assure you even professionals who are well established in their roles have the same feelings you do at times.

Find yourself a mentor that you can build a relationship with. This will help you understand the steps you need to take. If you eliminate some of the unknown, maybe it will seem less intimidating!

Good luck, you can do it!
Thank you comment icon I will do so then! and thank you, I had actually been thinking of getting a mentor recently, so I-ll take this as my sign , appreciate it! Isabel
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Sidney’s Answer

Hi Isabel,
It feels very normal feeling uncertain and disturbed while working toward your career goals, and your question reflects thoughtful concern. Self-reflection is important in order to separate perfectionism and fear of failure from what could be a career choice error. This begins by reflecting on what's causing your feelings. While perfectionism may mean extremely high standards that get you in a tailspin when you cannot attain them, fear of failure often surfaces in the guise of procrastination, self-doubt, or anxiety to initiate tasks. A professional mismatch even when successful will, however feel like a chronic lack of interest or enthusiasm for, or even lack of drive regarding, the job.

Reflecting on the motivations behind your choice of career may also clarify your feelings. Write down your career objectives and what motivates you about your chosen career. If your motivations seem to be closely aligned with your values and long-term goals, then frustration is probably more due to perfectionism or fear rather than a misalignment. Try participating in smaller, more manageable career-related activities where you can learn more and get a feel for your emotions. Are there ever moments of happiness or fulfillment even when things are tough? Also, think about reaching out to professionals or observing them to hear their experiences, which might inspire you or give you reason to re-consider your fit.

At other times, variables outside of the work may prove to be much more important, such as having a lack of resources, support, or feedback. By maintaining a journal, you can determine whether your irritation is because of fear, perfectionism, or simply that you're not cut out for your chosen profession. You can overcome these challenges with self-compassion, mental adjustments, or assistance from a mentor or counselor if your emotions are a result of perfectionism or fear of failing. Know that it is perfectly fine to take another path as well if there is no professional fit. Exploring your choices today can also help you avoid time and energy wasted tomorrow.
Thank you comment icon That makes a lot of sense, whether it's more of directly towards the career, or not. I'll work on writing my goals and breaking them down too, I already have a journal in which I'll use all these tips, thank you so much for your help & tips! Isabel
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