9 answers
bvar
Student
Sulaymaniyah, Iraq
3
Questions
Updated
1037 views
How Can I Discover My True Talents, Regain Confidence, and Align My Career with My Passions?
Hello experts and professionals,
I am reaching out because I’m currently facing a deep personal and professional struggle—I feel lost and uncertain about my identity, abilities, passion, and talents. I desperately want to understand myself better and discover my unique strengths, but I’m overwhelmed by confusion, self-doubt, and a lingering sense of inadequacy.
To give you some context, I’m in my final semester studying Database Technology. I didn’t choose this major out of passion but rather because it aligned with the available opportunities at the time. Frankly, I’m unsure whether I have a genuine interest in this field or whether it aligns with my abilities. I often feel disconnected from the subject matter, which contributes to my anxiety since I’ve invested over 16 years in education. The possibility of not working in my study field makes me feel as if those years were wasted.
Currently, I work as an administrator for a job recruitment company. My responsibilities include:
Scheduling and coordinating appointments with job seekers, discussing available opportunities with them, and guiding them through job options.
Drafting and providing employment contracts.
Handling and managing incoming calls regarding job openings.
Maintaining detailed Excel sheets to track job data, job seekers’ profiles, and customer information.
Managing social media accounts and creating posts to promote job opportunities and company updates.
The most challenging part—matching job vacancies to job seekers, which often creates significant pressure as I strive to find suitable positions for everyone.
Despite managing these tasks effectively, I often feel drained, uninspired, and exhausted. I constantly push myself to spread positivity and help those around me, even though I rarely receive encouragement or recognition in return. People describe me as knowledgeable, a smooth talker, and someone who can engage and satisfy others through effective communication. However, internally, I battle a lack of energy and confidence.
This struggle is partly rooted in my upbringing. My parents and older brother rarely acknowledged my value. They often told me I was useless or not clever enough, which profoundly shaped my self-image. My brother, a doctor, frequently imposed his opinions on me, leaving me feeling unheard and insignificant. This dynamic made me feel like I had no individuality or voice.
Looking back, I realize that I once had a passion—bodybuilding. As a teenager, I dreamed of becoming a bodybuilding coach. I loved spending time at the gym, sometimes working for over 14 hours without feeling tired. I became an assistant coach, guiding gym members, motivating them, and earning their respect. I was passionate about helping people achieve their fitness goals. I even dreamed of studying pharmacy to learn more about supplements and nutrition to enhance my coaching skills. However, due to the mark-based educational system in my country, I couldn’t pursue that path.
This passion for helping others hasn’t disappeared. I still find immense satisfaction in supporting others genuinely. However, as time has passed, I’ve lost confidence in social interactions. I often feel that people don’t care about my opinions or value my input—a feeling likely rooted in my early experiences with my family. Although I know this perception is not necessarily true, it continues to affect my confidence when meeting new people or speaking in unfamiliar settings.
I also yearn to live a creative and meaningful life. The idea of simply going to work, watching the clock, and waiting to leave feels unbearable. I want to contribute creatively, solve problems innovatively, and add meaningful value. I strive for perfection and often pressure myself and my colleagues to ensure everything runs smoothly. When things don’t go as planned, it weighs heavily on my mind.
My ultimate goal is to find clarity about my abilities, passions, and talents. I believe that once I truly understand my strengths, I can face any challenge with confidence. I want to recognize my value, unlock my potential, and thrive both personally and professionally. I even dream of going abroad to start fresh and rediscover myself.
Given my background and challenges, I am seeking your expert guidance on the following:
How can I discover my true talents and passions?
What practical steps can I take to align my career with my interests and abilities?
How can I regain my self-confidence and overcome the long-standing feelings of being unheard and undervalued?
What strategies can help me break free from this cycle of confusion and find a fulfilling, creative career path?
Your insights and advice would mean the world to me. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and support me on this journey toward self-discovery and growth.
at the end if someone can hear me closer, i can contact him i will be so pleasure and never forget it, cause i really need help and hand to raise me up .
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9 answers
Dr H
Dr. H's Research
1334
Answers
Australia
Updated
Dr’s Answer
Hey Bvar,
I hear you, and I totally get what you’re going through. While our experiences might not be identical, I know what it’s like to feel lost—not just in choosing a path, but in life itself. It’s like standing in front of a buffet with too many options, except instead of food, it’s "What am I doing with my life?"
Now, I come from a family of doctors, and to be honest, becoming one wasn’t entirely my idea either. It was more like, "Surprise! You’re going to be a doctor!"—courtesy of parental expectations. But over time, I found my own meaning in it—not because I was forced, but because I discovered what I actually enjoyed about it.
Meanwhile, my siblings? Oh, they scattered like Avengers after Endgame. One pursued computer science, another went into music, another became an artist—big family, I know, respectfully chaotic. But despite all that, I stuck with medicine. Not because I had it all figured out from day one, but because I realized I loved helping people, making an impact, and honestly, being the one people trust when they’re freaking out over a headache they found on WebMD.
Now, here’s something that might sound weird at first, but just roll with it:
Do Nothing.
Yes, you read that right. I’m not saying give up—I’m saying pause. Stop overthinking. Stop stressing over what’s next. Stop feeling like you need to have a five-year plan tattooed on your forehead. Instead, take a step back and breathe. Go outside. Watch the sky. Eat your favorite food. Touch grass.
If bodybuilding made you happy, revisit that. If helping others gave you purpose, explore that, but in a way that feels natural—not forced like an awkward family dinner conversation.
When I felt lost, I did exactly this.
I worked out, I tried writing (still have drafts that should never see the light of day), I even attempted songwriting with my sister (turns out, I should NOT quit my day job). I got into game development—only to realize I’m way better at playing games than making them. But through all of it, I figured out something: I love exploring, learning, and most importantly, helping others.
I even shadowed different jobs and took on part-time work just to figure out what actually clicked for me. And trust me, some were total disasters—but at least now I know what I don’t want to do (looking at you, sales job where I had to pretend I cared about overpriced kitchenware).
So here’s my advice:
1. Take time for yourself – Stop chasing passion like it’s a lost puppy. It’ll come to you when you’re happy and open to it.
2. Try new things – Even if they sound ridiculous. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up loving something unexpected, like pottery, skydiving, or competitive duck herding.
3. Revisit what once made you happy – Bodybuilding, coaching, fitness—see if they still give you that spark. If not? That’s fine. Just means there’s something even cooler waiting for you.
4. Trust that clarity will come – It’s like WiFi. Sometimes it’s slow, but eventually, the signal does come through.
5. Remember you’re not alone – If you ever need to talk, I’m here. And so are tons of other people who understand. You don’t have to navigate this solo like some kind of lost RPG character without a map.
Your past efforts weren’t wasted—they’ve shaped you. They’ll guide you. And whatever’s next? You’re gonna own it.
Just remember: Life is a game, and you’re the main character. There is always a good ending you just have to give it one and Might as well have fun with it on the way.
Okay so lastly, about talent and passion, so, I’m gonna be real with you—you’ve already dropped a massive hint about what lights you up: bodybuilding. That wasn’t just a hobby; it was something you LOVED. You worked 14-hour shifts at the gym without feeling drained, and listen—most people can’t even survive one hour at the gym without reconsidering all their life choices. That’s rare. That’s passion.
And the fact that you even wanted to study your current field just to enhance that career proves how serious you were. That’s dedication, my friend!
Now, let’s do some self-investigation (but the fun kind—not the existential crisis kind).
Ask yourself:
1️⃣ What about bodybuilding made you feel alive? Was it teaching? Helping others? The physical challenge? The way you flexed in the mirror and thought, “Yeah, I’d fight me.”?
2️⃣ What do you do now that gives you a similar feeling? Even if it’s small—helping someone, talking about health, or even just knowing you can bench press more than the average person.
3️⃣ If money wasn’t an issue, what would you wake up excited to do every day? And please, if the answer is "Sleep," I totally get it—but let’s dig deeper.
Passions aren’t always ONE BIG THING. Sometimes, they’re a mix of interests. Maybe you love teaching, fitness, communication, and psychology. Guess what? Those things can totally be combined into a killer career.
Now, let’s talk about your family.
They made you feel unheard? Forget that noise. You already proved them wrong by pushing forward despite the negativity. Now it’s time to rebuild your self-worth like a mental gym session.
🔥 Small Wins Matter – Celebrate everything. Even tiny victories count. Read a chapter? Boom, win. Helped someone today? Win. Didn’t forget your phone at home? Ultimate win.
🔥 Surround Yourself with the Right People – Negative people are like energy vampires. Avoid them. Find mentors, friends, or even online communities that fuel you instead of draining you.
🔥 Speak Up – If you feel unheard, make yourself heard. Post online, join discussions, start mini fitness talks. You already know how to communicate—own it. And hey, look at you now. You made it here, didn’t you?
🔥 Mindset Shift – You don’t need to be THE BEST to succeed. You just need to be better than yesterday. Progress over perfection, always. Even bodybuilders don’t start with six-packs—they start with bad workout form and questionable protein shakes.
Okay, I don’t know why I’m doing this, but here—some career ideas:
💡 Option 1: Build a side career in fitness while keeping your job. Double life unlocked.
💡 Option 2: Transition into a health-related role—HR in health & wellness, coaching, or public health. Basically, still helping people, but in a way that fits you.
💡 Option 3: Use your psychology degree and communication skills to become a speaker, mentor, or consultant in health & motivation. Imagine being that one person who actually makes sense in a motivational speech.
Listen up—YOU ARE NOT STUCK.
You’re just at the beginning of something new. And new beginnings? They’re messy, weird, and sometimes feel like wearing jeans fresh out of the dryer—uncomfortable, but temporary.
You’ve already overcome so much—now it’s just about steering your life in the direction YOU want. And guess what? You are 100% capable of doing that.
One Last Thing:
If you ever feel lost again? Just take action. Even if it’s small. Because the biggest mistake is leaving it.
Now go out there and start building the life you actually want.
And if nothing else—at least start with this:
I BELIEVE IN YOU, BVAR, 1000%.
You’re already amazing just as you are—so be yourself, because that’s your superpower.
Now skyrocket those feelings, my friend.And if you need anything let me know. 🚀💪
I hear you, and I totally get what you’re going through. While our experiences might not be identical, I know what it’s like to feel lost—not just in choosing a path, but in life itself. It’s like standing in front of a buffet with too many options, except instead of food, it’s "What am I doing with my life?"
Now, I come from a family of doctors, and to be honest, becoming one wasn’t entirely my idea either. It was more like, "Surprise! You’re going to be a doctor!"—courtesy of parental expectations. But over time, I found my own meaning in it—not because I was forced, but because I discovered what I actually enjoyed about it.
Meanwhile, my siblings? Oh, they scattered like Avengers after Endgame. One pursued computer science, another went into music, another became an artist—big family, I know, respectfully chaotic. But despite all that, I stuck with medicine. Not because I had it all figured out from day one, but because I realized I loved helping people, making an impact, and honestly, being the one people trust when they’re freaking out over a headache they found on WebMD.
Now, here’s something that might sound weird at first, but just roll with it:
Do Nothing.
Yes, you read that right. I’m not saying give up—I’m saying pause. Stop overthinking. Stop stressing over what’s next. Stop feeling like you need to have a five-year plan tattooed on your forehead. Instead, take a step back and breathe. Go outside. Watch the sky. Eat your favorite food. Touch grass.
If bodybuilding made you happy, revisit that. If helping others gave you purpose, explore that, but in a way that feels natural—not forced like an awkward family dinner conversation.
When I felt lost, I did exactly this.
I worked out, I tried writing (still have drafts that should never see the light of day), I even attempted songwriting with my sister (turns out, I should NOT quit my day job). I got into game development—only to realize I’m way better at playing games than making them. But through all of it, I figured out something: I love exploring, learning, and most importantly, helping others.
I even shadowed different jobs and took on part-time work just to figure out what actually clicked for me. And trust me, some were total disasters—but at least now I know what I don’t want to do (looking at you, sales job where I had to pretend I cared about overpriced kitchenware).
So here’s my advice:
1. Take time for yourself – Stop chasing passion like it’s a lost puppy. It’ll come to you when you’re happy and open to it.
2. Try new things – Even if they sound ridiculous. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up loving something unexpected, like pottery, skydiving, or competitive duck herding.
3. Revisit what once made you happy – Bodybuilding, coaching, fitness—see if they still give you that spark. If not? That’s fine. Just means there’s something even cooler waiting for you.
4. Trust that clarity will come – It’s like WiFi. Sometimes it’s slow, but eventually, the signal does come through.
5. Remember you’re not alone – If you ever need to talk, I’m here. And so are tons of other people who understand. You don’t have to navigate this solo like some kind of lost RPG character without a map.
Your past efforts weren’t wasted—they’ve shaped you. They’ll guide you. And whatever’s next? You’re gonna own it.
Just remember: Life is a game, and you’re the main character. There is always a good ending you just have to give it one and Might as well have fun with it on the way.
Okay so lastly, about talent and passion, so, I’m gonna be real with you—you’ve already dropped a massive hint about what lights you up: bodybuilding. That wasn’t just a hobby; it was something you LOVED. You worked 14-hour shifts at the gym without feeling drained, and listen—most people can’t even survive one hour at the gym without reconsidering all their life choices. That’s rare. That’s passion.
And the fact that you even wanted to study your current field just to enhance that career proves how serious you were. That’s dedication, my friend!
Now, let’s do some self-investigation (but the fun kind—not the existential crisis kind).
Ask yourself:
1️⃣ What about bodybuilding made you feel alive? Was it teaching? Helping others? The physical challenge? The way you flexed in the mirror and thought, “Yeah, I’d fight me.”?
2️⃣ What do you do now that gives you a similar feeling? Even if it’s small—helping someone, talking about health, or even just knowing you can bench press more than the average person.
3️⃣ If money wasn’t an issue, what would you wake up excited to do every day? And please, if the answer is "Sleep," I totally get it—but let’s dig deeper.
Passions aren’t always ONE BIG THING. Sometimes, they’re a mix of interests. Maybe you love teaching, fitness, communication, and psychology. Guess what? Those things can totally be combined into a killer career.
Now, let’s talk about your family.
They made you feel unheard? Forget that noise. You already proved them wrong by pushing forward despite the negativity. Now it’s time to rebuild your self-worth like a mental gym session.
🔥 Small Wins Matter – Celebrate everything. Even tiny victories count. Read a chapter? Boom, win. Helped someone today? Win. Didn’t forget your phone at home? Ultimate win.
🔥 Surround Yourself with the Right People – Negative people are like energy vampires. Avoid them. Find mentors, friends, or even online communities that fuel you instead of draining you.
🔥 Speak Up – If you feel unheard, make yourself heard. Post online, join discussions, start mini fitness talks. You already know how to communicate—own it. And hey, look at you now. You made it here, didn’t you?
🔥 Mindset Shift – You don’t need to be THE BEST to succeed. You just need to be better than yesterday. Progress over perfection, always. Even bodybuilders don’t start with six-packs—they start with bad workout form and questionable protein shakes.
Okay, I don’t know why I’m doing this, but here—some career ideas:
💡 Option 1: Build a side career in fitness while keeping your job. Double life unlocked.
💡 Option 2: Transition into a health-related role—HR in health & wellness, coaching, or public health. Basically, still helping people, but in a way that fits you.
💡 Option 3: Use your psychology degree and communication skills to become a speaker, mentor, or consultant in health & motivation. Imagine being that one person who actually makes sense in a motivational speech.
Listen up—YOU ARE NOT STUCK.
You’re just at the beginning of something new. And new beginnings? They’re messy, weird, and sometimes feel like wearing jeans fresh out of the dryer—uncomfortable, but temporary.
You’ve already overcome so much—now it’s just about steering your life in the direction YOU want. And guess what? You are 100% capable of doing that.
One Last Thing:
If you ever feel lost again? Just take action. Even if it’s small. Because the biggest mistake is leaving it.
Now go out there and start building the life you actually want.
And if nothing else—at least start with this:
I BELIEVE IN YOU, BVAR, 1000%.
You’re already amazing just as you are—so be yourself, because that’s your superpower.
Now skyrocket those feelings, my friend.And if you need anything let me know. 🚀💪
thanks a lot dear Dr, i really appreciate for all your kind word, i want break your all advice into smaller chunk:
1. well Dr, i figure it out i must go back to gym and take a care about my health and get energy for there, if the past come back to my and ask me what is the job you want make it to your career path, i would absolutely choose the gym, but now i think the gym will not give me that respect i want it from this job, i think i like management sometimes, and sometimes i don't like anything.
3. helping other really give me good energy and comfortable, and i am socialize man in the community i wanna talk with new person, explore new things.
4. i listen to your advice which you said, maybe also i have talent to be administrator, i would take a leadership course
bvar
I literally had the biggest smile reading your words, made my day too, because THIS... this right here is your first victory. You might not feel it fully yet, but something inside you has already shifted — and once that first crack happens, there’s no turning back.
Dr H
First 🙌 I'm really proud of you for deciding to go back and take care of your health. That's the best energy bank you can invest in — physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I totally get what you're saying about the respect part. Sometimes when a passion doesn't give us that sense of status or value we crave, we start doubting if it's worth pursuing. But listen to me carefully, my man — respect doesn't come from the job itself, it comes from how you show up in that job.
Honestly, I think, You're not just a guy who wants to work — you're someone who wants to lead... to create... to inspire.
Dr H
If you choose the gym path — not just as a job, but as something you build — with your social skills, your energy, and the way you genuinely care for others? Trust me, you’d turn that gym into a whole community. People would follow YOU, not because you're lifting weights — but because of the energy you bring into the room. You could literally build a fitness brand where people come not just to train their bodies but to feel heard, motivated, and alive. And that, my friend, is a whole different level of respect.
But I know you're still figuring it out — and that’s okay.
Dr H
Now, about this socializing superpower of yours — you might not even realize how rare that is. Being social and actually caring about people? That's not something you can teach. You're the guy who can walk into a room and make people feel seen and comfortable — and honestly? The world is CRAVING more people like you right now.
If you’re not sure where to channel that yet, here’s an idea: Community Building + Leadership + Helping Others = Your Zone of Genius.
Maybe try volunteering for some local community projects — like organizing events, guiding young people, or creating small social groups that help people find jobs or improve their health. Even something like youth fitness coaching or wellness community projects — where you mix fitness, socializing, and leadership together.
Dr H
And the fact that you're already planning to take that leadership course? Bro... I can't even tell you how proud I am right now. That's exactly the type of step that will help you figure out which path lights your fire the most. ✨🤧Sometimes, you don't find your passion by thinking about it — you find it by trying things until something just clicks inside you. ✨ You're just under construction — and every single brick you're laying right now is gonna build something bigger than you ever imagined.
Now keep hittin that gym, take that leadership course, talk to every single person you meet like you're the mayor of your own little world — and the rest will reveal itself along the way.
Its really great to hear you moving forth and doing rather than tryin-thats the spirit! 🤧😎
Dr H
Dr., I will never forget what you’ve done for me—your encouragement and your efforts to keep me from feeling down. I truly believe that I will become the most successful man in this world. My goal is to be creative and to have my own product in this century. That’s why I feel so much pressure—I don’t want a simple life with just a routine that never changes. I want to be happy and make others happy; that’s my dream.
bvar
When I said that the gym doesn’t give me enough respect, I meant that I want more from life, a transformation. I also have plans to run my own gym business in the future and maybe even create my own supplement line. On the other hand, I am passionate about leadership because I know I can lead people in any event or situation. I had an internship with Asiacell Telecommunications, where I managed over 200 students. I divided them into departments, checked on them daily to ensure their comfort, filled out attendance sheets, and was even planning an event to distribute certificates. I met with the event planners and successfully ran the whole thing.
bvar
Dr., I want you to understand that I have responsibilities, especially when it comes to taking care of my family. I’m finding it hard to focus on my own life. I’m thinking of leaving here to search for a job or pursue a master’s degree in the U.S. Right now, I’m taking a leadership and cybersecurity course because I already have knowledge in those areas. Also, I discovered that I’m really good at diagnosing car problems. This made me think about combining technology and cars in my career, but unfortunately, there are no courses or programs in Kurdistan to help me develop in this field. For now, I’m focusing on the gym path and have applied for a part-time assistant coach job while continuing my studies in the courses I’ve taken.
bvar
Please, Dr., I’d like to talk to you privately. I have a lot of questions and need to work through some things. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and I look forward to hearing from you.
bvar
Bvar, first of all, I want to say how proud I am of your journey and everything you're working towards. Your ambition, leadership skills, and hunger for transformation are already setting you apart from the crowd.
I completely understand how the weight of responsibilities can make it hard to focus on yourself — especially when you're someone who genuinely cares about your family. But I want you to know something very important: Taking care of yourself and chasing your dreams is not selfish — it's the best gift you can give to your family. When you become the best version of yourself, you'll be able to give even more to the people you love. Trust me man it took me a long years until I became ready to let go and try to do build my own.
Dr H
Dude, I thought I was misreading or something but seriously....... MANAGING 200 STUDENTS?!?🤣😱 Bruhhh, do you realize that's some next-level leadership boss type of stuff? That's not just leadership — that's CEO energy right there! You pulled off something that most people would run away from, and you did it like a natural-born leader. It's not something anyone can do! And, Honestly, I’m sitting here like...
"Why is this guy not running a whole freaking company already?"... .. Because I totally know you have it in you, and just like I said you are a guy who can Lead and now you have proved it to me as well! I am speechless and honestly that's amazing and, the world needs to prepare itself because Bvar is about to launch Bvar Enterprises🤗
Dr H
And Bvar listen man, so, I've been thinking about everything you've told me — your dreams, your struggles, your plans — and one thing keeps echoing in my mind...and honestly I don't know to give you advices and suggestions on all those paths or..... Yea so let me just say this..
You're already built to lead, but you're still figuring out exactly what kingdom you want to lead.
To be honest, it feels like the gym has always been your first love — and honestly, it's such a powerful path for you. Your leadership skills are not just something you're good at — it's literally who you are. You naturally thrive when you're in charge, guiding others, and making sure everyone around you wins. That's a gift not everyone has, and you've already proven it more than once.
Dr H
As for cars and tech, I feel like even you were surprised when you realized how good you are at it — like you unlocked a hidden talent by accident. But if I'm being real, I think it's something you're curious about more than something you're 1000% sure is your life's mission... yet.
What I really wanna know is —
Which one makes your heart race the fastest?
Which one makes you forget about time when you're working on it?
If you had to bet everything on one dream... what would it be? 🤔
I know you're carrying a whole lot right now — family responsibilities, gym life, leadership, cars, future plans... it's heavy, bro. But...
Dr H
👉 If you woke up tomorrow, living your absolute dream life... what would you be doing first thing in the morning?
Would you be walking into your own gym with your name on the walls?
Would you be testing out your own BV Whey Protein flavor before launching it to the whole country?
Would you be in your high-tech garage, fixing cars with just a tablet in your hand — no mechanic tools, just pure technology? 🤔
Once you answer this... I can totally help you furthur even on every single step you need me to help.
Dr H
And about that private talk — I honestly wish we could have that one-on-one too, man. But yeah... CV doesn’t allow sharing contacts 👀. But....
What I can do is be your ride-or-die virtual Dr. right here🤗, giving advice, ideas, and plans as long as you keep talking to me. You can literally ask anything — whether it's about life, business, leadership, or even how to design your future gym logo 😅 but don't think I would be a Greta designer honestly Uhum, anyways, and I'll respond with every ounce of support I've got.
Dr H
Teklemuz Ayenew Tesfay
Electrical engineer, researcher and Software Developer
93
Answers
Ethiopia
Updated
Teklemuz Ayenew’s Answer
Your story is almost my story. I want to share my journey with you—how I recovered from losing myself to finding who I truly am, from feeling emptiness to experiencing contentment and fulfillment. It’s a story of transformation—from zero confidence to 100% confidence, from being stressed and hopeless to becoming an optimistic and positive thinker.
When I was 18 years old, I found myself at a crossroads. I was lost—completely disconnected from myself, my identity, and my purpose. It felt like I was drifting through life without a clear direction, unsure of who I really was or where I was headed. The uncertainty and confusion were constant, and my confidence had hit rock bottom. I had no idea what my strengths or talents were, and I felt like I was failing as a person.
It wasn’t just a vague feeling—it was a deep, persistent sense of self-doubt. Every day was a struggle, filled with anxiety. My self-worth was at an all-time low, and I began questioning everything: Who am I? What are my goals? Am I worthy of love and respect? Why am I here? Why did I come into this world? I didn’t have the answers at that time, but I knew one thing: I could ask the questions. I could search for the answers. So, I made a decision to take control. I began journaling every single day. No matter how painful or confusing it was, I wrote. Each entry became a step towards uncovering the pieces of myself that had been buried under layers of fear and doubt. I spent a year doing this—writing, reflecting, searching. It wasn’t easy. There were times when I hated the process and the uncertainty of the future. But in the midst of it all, something shifted.
I began to realize that I was the one who had to choose my path. I didn’t have to live in the shadows of others’ expectations or my own fears. I had the power to ask myself the important questions and to define my worth on my own terms. The people around me had drifted away, leaving me isolated, often surrounded by negativity. But I decided to use that space to reflect and grow. It was in those quiet moments that I learned the most about myself.
It wasn’t a straight line. The journey had its ups and downs, doubts and breakthroughs. But with every question, every journal entry, and every day spent reflecting, I began to uncover who I truly was. I started to understand that my value wasn’t defined by anyone else’s opinion or the pressures I felt from the outside world. I was worthy of love, respect, and happiness just as I was. And most importantly, I realized that I was the one who had the power to shape my life.
During this time, I made the conscious decision to start loving myself. I knew it was essential to step away from the noise and expectations of others—even from my family—at least for a while. What seemed like a challenge of isolation turned out to be my sanctuary. Solitude became my tool for self-discovery and healing. In this quiet space, I could truly hear my thoughts, reflect without distractions, and rebuild my sense of self.
But there was one crucial part of this journey: I had been hating myself. The hatred I felt toward myself was deep and painful. I was angry at who I was, at my mistakes, and at the choices I had made. But rather than letting that hate control me, I chose to turn it around. I started to accept my nature and who I truly was. I stopped fighting against myself. I embraced my imperfections, my flaws, and my past. Slowly, I began practicing self-respect—honoring my thoughts, my emotions, and my experiences. I learned to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion that I would give to someone I loved.
I also took the time to explore both my strengths and weaknesses. I created a journal specifically for this purpose—one where I could clearly see what I excelled at and what I needed to work on. This simple yet powerful exercise gave me clarity and direction. It allowed me to focus on what I was good at, while also acknowledging areas that I could improve. This practice of self-awareness helped me grow, empowering me to lean into my strengths and gently work on my weaknesses without judgment.
I nurtured myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I began feeding my mind with positive affirmations. I spoke to myself with the love, compassion, and encouragement I would offer to a dear friend. Instead of letting negative thoughts control me, I replaced them with affirmations: I am worthy. I am capable. I am valuable.
Journaling became a daily ritual. Every hour, I wrote down my thoughts, unfiltered and raw. It became my way of understanding my inner world. As I wrote, I started to accept who I was—my identity, my history, my dreams—and I began to feel proud of who I was. I shifted how I spoke to myself. No longer did I see myself as lost or incapable. Instead, I spoke to myself with belief: I am here for a reason, and I will fulfill my purpose.
Over time, my confidence grew. It wasn’t instant, but bit by bit, I began to feel lighter, stronger, and more empowered. The transformation was subtle at first, but eventually, my confidence reached a point where it felt invincible. I started to feel powerful and worthy of everything life had to offer. I made a powerful shift in how I viewed myself and my potential. This wasn’t a quick fix. It was the result of consistent effort—of journaling, affirmations, and cultivating a can-do attitude. I also expressed gratitude every day, thanking the universe for bringing me into this world and praying for wisdom, peace, and strength. I knew that without confidence, life felt hollow. But as I worked to nurture my confidence, my life began to feel fuller, richer, and more meaningful.
For two years, I committed myself to self-love with relentless consistency. Every day, I reinforced positive thoughts, built healthy habits, and continued to build my confidence. The effort wasn’t always easy, but as I worked through it, I began to see a subtle shift within me. Little by little, I regained my confidence—until it was no longer just a flicker, but a blazing fire. Now, I stand strong. No one can break me, and no one can make me. I’ve built a solid foundation of self-love and confidence, and it’s unshakeable. It wasn’t a quick fix or an easy journey—but it was worth it. Today, I am living a life full of purpose and clarity. I no longer seek validation from the outside world because I’ve discovered my worth from within.
Since the day I proved myself, I've earned the respect and admiration of many because I dedicated myself to building my character and cultivating a higher level of confidence. Confidence, to me, is not just an emotion; it’s a solid foundation. It transforms life, making it brighter, simpler, and more joyful. Self-love has seamlessly integrated into who I am. It no longer requires conscious effort—it flows effortlessly, guiding me through each step of life.
Looking back, I see how far I’ve come—from a place of doubt and confusion to a place where self-love and confidence are my default. I no longer need external validation. I’ve found it within myself. This transformation has shaped the powerful, confident person I am today. And I’ve learned that the journey of self-discovery and self-love never truly ends. It’s an ongoing process—one that requires patience, commitment, and the willingness to embrace your own worth.
Once you realize who you truly are and build your confidence, everything will become clear. You will know your passions, your goals, and your purpose. You will understand the direction in which you need to go, and life will start to fall into place. The confusion and uncertainty that once held you back will dissolve, and you’ll move forward with clarity and conviction.
If you want to experience tangible improvements in your own life, I encourage you to practice self-love. Start with small steps—acknowledge your strengths, face your weaknesses, and commit to loving yourself each day. The more you do this, the more you will see the changes in your life. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Read books, engage in physical exercise, distance yourself from negative people, seek advice from mentors, pray to God, and fall in love with yourself in the most amazing way. Cultivate a positive attitude and tell yourself that you are the best person and deserve better things. Good luck on your journey!
When I was 18 years old, I found myself at a crossroads. I was lost—completely disconnected from myself, my identity, and my purpose. It felt like I was drifting through life without a clear direction, unsure of who I really was or where I was headed. The uncertainty and confusion were constant, and my confidence had hit rock bottom. I had no idea what my strengths or talents were, and I felt like I was failing as a person.
It wasn’t just a vague feeling—it was a deep, persistent sense of self-doubt. Every day was a struggle, filled with anxiety. My self-worth was at an all-time low, and I began questioning everything: Who am I? What are my goals? Am I worthy of love and respect? Why am I here? Why did I come into this world? I didn’t have the answers at that time, but I knew one thing: I could ask the questions. I could search for the answers. So, I made a decision to take control. I began journaling every single day. No matter how painful or confusing it was, I wrote. Each entry became a step towards uncovering the pieces of myself that had been buried under layers of fear and doubt. I spent a year doing this—writing, reflecting, searching. It wasn’t easy. There were times when I hated the process and the uncertainty of the future. But in the midst of it all, something shifted.
I began to realize that I was the one who had to choose my path. I didn’t have to live in the shadows of others’ expectations or my own fears. I had the power to ask myself the important questions and to define my worth on my own terms. The people around me had drifted away, leaving me isolated, often surrounded by negativity. But I decided to use that space to reflect and grow. It was in those quiet moments that I learned the most about myself.
It wasn’t a straight line. The journey had its ups and downs, doubts and breakthroughs. But with every question, every journal entry, and every day spent reflecting, I began to uncover who I truly was. I started to understand that my value wasn’t defined by anyone else’s opinion or the pressures I felt from the outside world. I was worthy of love, respect, and happiness just as I was. And most importantly, I realized that I was the one who had the power to shape my life.
During this time, I made the conscious decision to start loving myself. I knew it was essential to step away from the noise and expectations of others—even from my family—at least for a while. What seemed like a challenge of isolation turned out to be my sanctuary. Solitude became my tool for self-discovery and healing. In this quiet space, I could truly hear my thoughts, reflect without distractions, and rebuild my sense of self.
But there was one crucial part of this journey: I had been hating myself. The hatred I felt toward myself was deep and painful. I was angry at who I was, at my mistakes, and at the choices I had made. But rather than letting that hate control me, I chose to turn it around. I started to accept my nature and who I truly was. I stopped fighting against myself. I embraced my imperfections, my flaws, and my past. Slowly, I began practicing self-respect—honoring my thoughts, my emotions, and my experiences. I learned to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion that I would give to someone I loved.
I also took the time to explore both my strengths and weaknesses. I created a journal specifically for this purpose—one where I could clearly see what I excelled at and what I needed to work on. This simple yet powerful exercise gave me clarity and direction. It allowed me to focus on what I was good at, while also acknowledging areas that I could improve. This practice of self-awareness helped me grow, empowering me to lean into my strengths and gently work on my weaknesses without judgment.
I nurtured myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I began feeding my mind with positive affirmations. I spoke to myself with the love, compassion, and encouragement I would offer to a dear friend. Instead of letting negative thoughts control me, I replaced them with affirmations: I am worthy. I am capable. I am valuable.
Journaling became a daily ritual. Every hour, I wrote down my thoughts, unfiltered and raw. It became my way of understanding my inner world. As I wrote, I started to accept who I was—my identity, my history, my dreams—and I began to feel proud of who I was. I shifted how I spoke to myself. No longer did I see myself as lost or incapable. Instead, I spoke to myself with belief: I am here for a reason, and I will fulfill my purpose.
Over time, my confidence grew. It wasn’t instant, but bit by bit, I began to feel lighter, stronger, and more empowered. The transformation was subtle at first, but eventually, my confidence reached a point where it felt invincible. I started to feel powerful and worthy of everything life had to offer. I made a powerful shift in how I viewed myself and my potential. This wasn’t a quick fix. It was the result of consistent effort—of journaling, affirmations, and cultivating a can-do attitude. I also expressed gratitude every day, thanking the universe for bringing me into this world and praying for wisdom, peace, and strength. I knew that without confidence, life felt hollow. But as I worked to nurture my confidence, my life began to feel fuller, richer, and more meaningful.
For two years, I committed myself to self-love with relentless consistency. Every day, I reinforced positive thoughts, built healthy habits, and continued to build my confidence. The effort wasn’t always easy, but as I worked through it, I began to see a subtle shift within me. Little by little, I regained my confidence—until it was no longer just a flicker, but a blazing fire. Now, I stand strong. No one can break me, and no one can make me. I’ve built a solid foundation of self-love and confidence, and it’s unshakeable. It wasn’t a quick fix or an easy journey—but it was worth it. Today, I am living a life full of purpose and clarity. I no longer seek validation from the outside world because I’ve discovered my worth from within.
Since the day I proved myself, I've earned the respect and admiration of many because I dedicated myself to building my character and cultivating a higher level of confidence. Confidence, to me, is not just an emotion; it’s a solid foundation. It transforms life, making it brighter, simpler, and more joyful. Self-love has seamlessly integrated into who I am. It no longer requires conscious effort—it flows effortlessly, guiding me through each step of life.
Looking back, I see how far I’ve come—from a place of doubt and confusion to a place where self-love and confidence are my default. I no longer need external validation. I’ve found it within myself. This transformation has shaped the powerful, confident person I am today. And I’ve learned that the journey of self-discovery and self-love never truly ends. It’s an ongoing process—one that requires patience, commitment, and the willingness to embrace your own worth.
Once you realize who you truly are and build your confidence, everything will become clear. You will know your passions, your goals, and your purpose. You will understand the direction in which you need to go, and life will start to fall into place. The confusion and uncertainty that once held you back will dissolve, and you’ll move forward with clarity and conviction.
If you want to experience tangible improvements in your own life, I encourage you to practice self-love. Start with small steps—acknowledge your strengths, face your weaknesses, and commit to loving yourself each day. The more you do this, the more you will see the changes in your life. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Read books, engage in physical exercise, distance yourself from negative people, seek advice from mentors, pray to God, and fall in love with yourself in the most amazing way. Cultivate a positive attitude and tell yourself that you are the best person and deserve better things. Good luck on your journey!
Thank you for giving me advice. you have same situation
bvar
Yashasvi Raikwar
Project Manager Intern
15
Answers
Indore, Madhya Pradesh, India
Updated
Yashasvi’s Answer
Hi Bvar! First of all, I want to acknowledge how incredibly self-aware and resilient you are. The ability to support and uplift others, even when you haven’t received the same in return, is a rare strength that speaks volumes about your character. You’re not lost—you’re simply in the midst of figuring things out, just like everyone else. Trust me, nobody has it all planned out, and even those who think they do rarely have things go exactly as expected. Success is never a straight line; it’s filled with detours, unexpected turns, and moments of doubt before reaching the destination. So if everything feels messy right now, that’s completely okay. It’s part of the journey.
Your experiences have already highlighted so many natural strengths—your passion for helping others, your communication and problem-solving skills, and your ability to build meaningful connections. Don’t view your past studies as wasted time; instead, consider them as building blocks that have shaped who you are today. Your skills in communication, relationship-building, and organization can open doors to a variety of career paths—coaching, HR, marketing, or even entrepreneurship. Your past passion for bodybuilding and fitness coaching is a huge clue about what energizes and motivates you. Maybe now is the perfect time to reconnect with that passion, whether through a side project, a personal brand, or a future career shift.
As for confidence, remember that the beliefs others instill in us don’t have to define us forever. Your worth isn’t determined by external validation—it’s shaped by your ability to impact others and adapt. Start small by challenging those negative thoughts and seeking spaces where your voice is heard. Step outside your comfort zone gradually, and give yourself the same grace and encouragement you so freely offer others. You’re not behind; you’re evolving, and every step forward is progress.
If you’re unsure about fully committing to gym coaching and feel like your education might have been a wasted effort, remember: you don’t need to make an all-or-nothing decision. You can continue with your current job while dedicating even just 10 minutes a day to your passion. Ten minutes may not seem like much, but it’s a great start and better than nothing. Passion fuels perseverance, and when you genuinely love what you do, your chances of success grow exponentially. Take calculated risks, experiment, and trust the process. You’ve got this, and I truly believe in your potential. Keep pushing forward—you’re capable of amazing things! 🚀✨
Your experiences have already highlighted so many natural strengths—your passion for helping others, your communication and problem-solving skills, and your ability to build meaningful connections. Don’t view your past studies as wasted time; instead, consider them as building blocks that have shaped who you are today. Your skills in communication, relationship-building, and organization can open doors to a variety of career paths—coaching, HR, marketing, or even entrepreneurship. Your past passion for bodybuilding and fitness coaching is a huge clue about what energizes and motivates you. Maybe now is the perfect time to reconnect with that passion, whether through a side project, a personal brand, or a future career shift.
As for confidence, remember that the beliefs others instill in us don’t have to define us forever. Your worth isn’t determined by external validation—it’s shaped by your ability to impact others and adapt. Start small by challenging those negative thoughts and seeking spaces where your voice is heard. Step outside your comfort zone gradually, and give yourself the same grace and encouragement you so freely offer others. You’re not behind; you’re evolving, and every step forward is progress.
If you’re unsure about fully committing to gym coaching and feel like your education might have been a wasted effort, remember: you don’t need to make an all-or-nothing decision. You can continue with your current job while dedicating even just 10 minutes a day to your passion. Ten minutes may not seem like much, but it’s a great start and better than nothing. Passion fuels perseverance, and when you genuinely love what you do, your chances of success grow exponentially. Take calculated risks, experiment, and trust the process. You’ve got this, and I truly believe in your potential. Keep pushing forward—you’re capable of amazing things! 🚀✨
Thanks for your encouragement!
bvar
You're so welcome, Bvar! Keep believing in yourself—your strength, resilience, and passion will lead you to something amazing. 💪✨
Yashasvi Raikwar
Theophilus Mensah
Entrepreneur
57
Answers
Grambling, Louisiana
Updated
Theophilus’s Answer
Hi Bavr,
First of all, I want to say that I see you. I have seen your struggles, your doubts, and your deep desire to find clarity and purpose. And I want you to know that you are not alone in this. Many of us have felt lost at some point, questioning our paths, our abilities, and whether we’re truly meant for something greater.
I completely understand what it feels like to pursue something because it seemed like the best option at the time rather than out of passion. I chose to study Business Management because I love the art of selling, marketing and being able to convince people to buy something, but my true passion has always been helping people feel confident in themselves, helping people to solve problems and also giving back to my community. I have been able to blend my passion with my interest. It showed me that sometimes, we don’t have to pick just one path. We can blend our interests into something unique that truly fulfills us.
You already have clues about what makes you feel alive. Look at your past. When did you feel the most confident, energized, and excited? You mentioned bodybuilding, coaching others, and helping people achieve their goals. That’s a gift! It means you thrive when you’re inspiring and guiding others.
Now, ask yourself this. What are the moments in my life when I felt the happiest and most fulfilled?
What activities make me lose track of time? If money wasn’t an issue, what would I wake up every day excited to do?
Your talents and passions are still inside you. They may feel buried under doubt and fear, but they are not lost. Right now, you’re working in administration, which may not inspire you, but think about the skills you’re building: communication, problem-solving, organizing, and supporting people. These are transferable skills that can be applied to many careers including something fitness-related or even starting your own coaching business one day.
You don’t have to throw away your current path to start fresh. Instead, start exploring ways to bring your passion into your life gradually.
If fitness coaching still excites you, take small steps back into that world or maybe start an online fitness page, offer free coaching to build confidence, or even take certification courses while working your job.
If you’re drawn to creativity and innovation, look for ways to bring those elements into your work. Maybe there’s a project at your company that lets you use those skills.
If you want to move abroad and start fresh, start researching opportunities, networking, and saving up so that when the time comes, you’re ready to take that path.
I know firsthand how hard it is to believe in yourself when you’ve spent years being made to feel unheard or not good enough. But let me tell you this: your worth is not defined by how others treated you. The fact that you care so much about finding your purpose proves that you have value.
Every morning, remind yourself of your strengths. Say, I am capable. I am worthy. My voice matters.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you. If your current environment makes you feel small, seek out communities—online or in-person—where people appreciate and encourage you. You are unique.
Take action, even when you’re afraid. Confidence doesn’t come from waiting, it comes from doing. Start small, take little steps, and watch how your belief in yourself grows.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now. The most important thing is to start exploring. Look for jobs, side hustles, or volunteer work that involve coaching, fitness, or creativity. Take online courses in areas that interest you whether it’s fitness, business, or something completely different.
Reach out to people in industries you admire and ask about their journey.
Sometimes, we think we’re stuck when really, we just haven’t seen all the options available to us. The more you explore, the more possibilities you’ll discover.
You are not lost. you are in the process of becoming who you want to be. And that is a powerful place to be. Everything you’ve gone through has shaped you into someone strong, empathetic, and determined. The world needs your gifts, and I truly believe that once you start following what excites you, doors will open.
If you ever need guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to do this alone. I believe in you, and I know that your best chapter is still ahead
First of all, I want to say that I see you. I have seen your struggles, your doubts, and your deep desire to find clarity and purpose. And I want you to know that you are not alone in this. Many of us have felt lost at some point, questioning our paths, our abilities, and whether we’re truly meant for something greater.
I completely understand what it feels like to pursue something because it seemed like the best option at the time rather than out of passion. I chose to study Business Management because I love the art of selling, marketing and being able to convince people to buy something, but my true passion has always been helping people feel confident in themselves, helping people to solve problems and also giving back to my community. I have been able to blend my passion with my interest. It showed me that sometimes, we don’t have to pick just one path. We can blend our interests into something unique that truly fulfills us.
You already have clues about what makes you feel alive. Look at your past. When did you feel the most confident, energized, and excited? You mentioned bodybuilding, coaching others, and helping people achieve their goals. That’s a gift! It means you thrive when you’re inspiring and guiding others.
Now, ask yourself this. What are the moments in my life when I felt the happiest and most fulfilled?
What activities make me lose track of time? If money wasn’t an issue, what would I wake up every day excited to do?
Your talents and passions are still inside you. They may feel buried under doubt and fear, but they are not lost. Right now, you’re working in administration, which may not inspire you, but think about the skills you’re building: communication, problem-solving, organizing, and supporting people. These are transferable skills that can be applied to many careers including something fitness-related or even starting your own coaching business one day.
You don’t have to throw away your current path to start fresh. Instead, start exploring ways to bring your passion into your life gradually.
If fitness coaching still excites you, take small steps back into that world or maybe start an online fitness page, offer free coaching to build confidence, or even take certification courses while working your job.
If you’re drawn to creativity and innovation, look for ways to bring those elements into your work. Maybe there’s a project at your company that lets you use those skills.
If you want to move abroad and start fresh, start researching opportunities, networking, and saving up so that when the time comes, you’re ready to take that path.
I know firsthand how hard it is to believe in yourself when you’ve spent years being made to feel unheard or not good enough. But let me tell you this: your worth is not defined by how others treated you. The fact that you care so much about finding your purpose proves that you have value.
Every morning, remind yourself of your strengths. Say, I am capable. I am worthy. My voice matters.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you. If your current environment makes you feel small, seek out communities—online or in-person—where people appreciate and encourage you. You are unique.
Take action, even when you’re afraid. Confidence doesn’t come from waiting, it comes from doing. Start small, take little steps, and watch how your belief in yourself grows.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now. The most important thing is to start exploring. Look for jobs, side hustles, or volunteer work that involve coaching, fitness, or creativity. Take online courses in areas that interest you whether it’s fitness, business, or something completely different.
Reach out to people in industries you admire and ask about their journey.
Sometimes, we think we’re stuck when really, we just haven’t seen all the options available to us. The more you explore, the more possibilities you’ll discover.
You are not lost. you are in the process of becoming who you want to be. And that is a powerful place to be. Everything you’ve gone through has shaped you into someone strong, empathetic, and determined. The world needs your gifts, and I truly believe that once you start following what excites you, doors will open.
If you ever need guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to do this alone. I believe in you, and I know that your best chapter is still ahead
Thank you so much for you attractive advice, your words make the fire in my heart,
Dear Theophilus,
I always try to thanks god for what i have, and i know one day i will find my true career which god made me for it, in other hand i have many talent sometimes this make me anxiety, because also i have lot of interest about car, well i can diagnosis car problem without having any knowledge, well something other in my mind in the future work like automative engineer, which is combined with my Bs degree field database technology, i was so clever in the field cyber security, in other hand i have ability in charismatic, strong leadership skill, when i talk with someone i can read my personality partner what the policy shall i use it to satisfy it
bvar
Thank you for your kind words! I truly appreciate it. You are a great person and you have so much potential. I am happy you believe that God has a plan for your life. Do your best, trust in the Lord, and be willing to explore and learn. You will definitely figure it out when you get much exposure.
God has a plan for your life and I pray that His will for your life comes to pass. I am always willing to help you!
Theophilus Mensah
Anita Belwal
Program manager in IT
7
Answers
Bengaluru, Karnataka, India
Updated
Anita’s Answer
It looks like you have great intent, but until now, you have not figured out anything specific you are interested in apart from your passion for bodybuilding, which you did in the past. See if you would like to restart that. Helping and guiding others will cheer you up.
Finding passion is something which you have to do on your own. Maybe you can start by trying new things and see what suits you. Being in the company of people who care for you would be good for you. Turing into spirituality based on your beliefs might also help you. Based on my experiences when people are in unclear and confusing states of mind and not able to define a very clear path, spirituality has helped them many of times. Read good books, go out, and make connections but remember it's on you to find what you want to do. Take career counselling if needed. This may help a lot.
I wish you good luck.
Finding passion is something which you have to do on your own. Maybe you can start by trying new things and see what suits you. Being in the company of people who care for you would be good for you. Turing into spirituality based on your beliefs might also help you. Based on my experiences when people are in unclear and confusing states of mind and not able to define a very clear path, spirituality has helped them many of times. Read good books, go out, and make connections but remember it's on you to find what you want to do. Take career counselling if needed. This may help a lot.
I wish you good luck.
Shirley Toney
Licensed Optician
1
Answer
Zephyrhills, Florida
Updated
Shirley’s Answer
Greetings! I would 1st like to say these are very common questions and you are not alone. Everyone has, at some point, had the same or similar questions.
Let me start by asking you: "what defines a person? Is it their title, their income, their popularity or lack of and so on?" I believe a person is defined by how they handle situations in life. Some choose dishonesty and greed, pushing others down and so on. Some choose honesty and respect while lifting others up and so on. You get the point. Don't let "the world" define you.
Know let me ask: "Why are you here? What's the purpose?" I believe you are made in God's image, born male or female and not by mistake. You are unique in appearance and character and you should celebrate that. God doesn't make mistakes. What's your skin color, haircolor, no hair, big smile, little grin, freckles, moles? Every imperfection "you" think you see is actually perfect to and for you. Be who He created you to be in every way!
Finally, there is a purpose and a plan for us all. Believe that! What you're going through now, learning now, training in now, living now, will all be relevant in your life and make you all the wiser and stronger. The things we find the most difficult and challenging tend to be more rewarding in the end whether we consider it a success or failure.
I am a living testimony to God's sovereign grace and forgiveness. I would be lost without the Lord and I'm forever grateful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me. The Lord has guided me through so many trials to which I didn't always make the right choice yet He never stopped pursuing me and loving me. You are not alone! Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will clear a path for you! Amen
Let me start by asking you: "what defines a person? Is it their title, their income, their popularity or lack of and so on?" I believe a person is defined by how they handle situations in life. Some choose dishonesty and greed, pushing others down and so on. Some choose honesty and respect while lifting others up and so on. You get the point. Don't let "the world" define you.
Know let me ask: "Why are you here? What's the purpose?" I believe you are made in God's image, born male or female and not by mistake. You are unique in appearance and character and you should celebrate that. God doesn't make mistakes. What's your skin color, haircolor, no hair, big smile, little grin, freckles, moles? Every imperfection "you" think you see is actually perfect to and for you. Be who He created you to be in every way!
Finally, there is a purpose and a plan for us all. Believe that! What you're going through now, learning now, training in now, living now, will all be relevant in your life and make you all the wiser and stronger. The things we find the most difficult and challenging tend to be more rewarding in the end whether we consider it a success or failure.
I am a living testimony to God's sovereign grace and forgiveness. I would be lost without the Lord and I'm forever grateful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me. The Lord has guided me through so many trials to which I didn't always make the right choice yet He never stopped pursuing me and loving me. You are not alone! Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will clear a path for you! Amen
Thank you so much for the advice. really i always think about god, i always pray god help me to find my own path you born it me for
bvar
Patrick Meyer
Executive - Data Analytics and AI
915
Answers
Naperville, Illinois
Updated
Patrick’s Answer
Thank you for sharing your story so openly. It takes great courage to express your struggles and desires for change, and that’s an important first step toward rediscovering your true talents and regaining your confidence. From what you’ve shared, it’s clear that you have a strong sense of compassion, a passion for helping others, and a remarkable ability to communicate effectively, all of which are powerful strengths. It’s normal to feel uncertain, especially when life hasn’t unfolded the way you envisioned, but this is a pivotal moment for reflection and growth. The fact that you recognize the gap between where you are and where you want to be shows that you’re ready for a meaningful shift.
To begin the journey of discovering your true talents and aligning your career with your passions, I recommend reflecting on activities and moments where you’ve felt most alive and fulfilled. Bodybuilding and helping others achieve their goals brought you joy and purpose, and even now, your passion for supporting others hasn’t faded. Revisit those experiences to understand what aspects of them energized you, whether it was the direct impact on people’s lives, the sense of mastery, or the connection with others. Once you identify the core of what drives you, explore ways to integrate those elements into your current or future career. You don’t have to leave everything behind to start fresh; instead, consider how your existing skills, like communication, organization, and empathy, can be applied in new and creative ways. Volunteering, internships, or side projects can help you experiment with different fields without committing to a drastic change immediately.
Regaining your confidence will require both inner work and practical actions. Start by challenging the negative beliefs about yourself that were instilled during your upbringing. You are not defined by others’ perceptions or words; your experiences and achievements show that you’re capable and strong. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, whether through professional networks, mentors, or supportive communities. Additionally, taking small steps to assert your individuality, such as engaging in hobbies, creative projects, or public speaking, can help rebuild your confidence in social interactions. Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance—whether from a career coach, counselor, or mentor—someone who can provide the encouragement and direction you need. You’re not alone in this, and having someone walk alongside you on this journey can make all the difference. Reaching out for help, as you have today, is a powerful act of self-care, and it’s the beginning of a path toward the fulfilling, creative life you desire.
To begin the journey of discovering your true talents and aligning your career with your passions, I recommend reflecting on activities and moments where you’ve felt most alive and fulfilled. Bodybuilding and helping others achieve their goals brought you joy and purpose, and even now, your passion for supporting others hasn’t faded. Revisit those experiences to understand what aspects of them energized you, whether it was the direct impact on people’s lives, the sense of mastery, or the connection with others. Once you identify the core of what drives you, explore ways to integrate those elements into your current or future career. You don’t have to leave everything behind to start fresh; instead, consider how your existing skills, like communication, organization, and empathy, can be applied in new and creative ways. Volunteering, internships, or side projects can help you experiment with different fields without committing to a drastic change immediately.
Regaining your confidence will require both inner work and practical actions. Start by challenging the negative beliefs about yourself that were instilled during your upbringing. You are not defined by others’ perceptions or words; your experiences and achievements show that you’re capable and strong. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, whether through professional networks, mentors, or supportive communities. Additionally, taking small steps to assert your individuality, such as engaging in hobbies, creative projects, or public speaking, can help rebuild your confidence in social interactions. Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance—whether from a career coach, counselor, or mentor—someone who can provide the encouragement and direction you need. You’re not alone in this, and having someone walk alongside you on this journey can make all the difference. Reaching out for help, as you have today, is a powerful act of self-care, and it’s the beginning of a path toward the fulfilling, creative life you desire.
Alysia Cook, PCED, IOM
Principal at Opportunity Strategies LLC
9
Answers
Austin, Texas
Updated
Alysia’s Answer
I have two recommendations, Bvar:
1) Make an appointment with a Career Counselor at the university/college/career tech you are attending. Ask to take a Career Interest & Aptitude Assessment. In that tool, you will answer many questions that will result in a response that will help you narrow down a career that will both interest and fulfill you. It may not give you the exact answer, but it will create a more narrow pathway for you to consider and explore. This method completely changed my life and has led me to a career I have loved for 32 years and counting. Just try it.
2) Begin a dialogue with ChatGPT or Claude.com to ask AI to help you answer some of these questions. Here are some prompts you might want to start with:
Self-Discovery Prompts
"I’m not sure what career path to choose. Ask me questions to help me figure it out."
"How do I identify my strengths, passions, and skills to guide my career decisions?"
"What questions should I ask myself to discover what I’m passionate about?"
"Can you help me explore what type of work environment and lifestyle might suit me best?"
Career Exploration Prompts
"What are some careers that match my interests in [insert broad topic, e.g., 'helping others,' 'technology,' 'creative work']?"
"Can you give me an overview of industries or jobs with good growth opportunities?"
"What are some unconventional or lesser-known career options I might not have considered?"
"How can I find a career that combines my multiple interests, like [e.g., art and science, writing and technology]?"
Skills and Education Prompts
"What types of degrees or certifications align with careers I might be interested in?"
"How can I identify what skills I enjoy using in both academic and non-academic settings?"
"Can you help me determine what kinds of entry-level roles would let me explore different industries?"
Practical Experience and Experimentation Prompts
"What steps can I take to explore careers through internships, volunteering, or job shadowing?"
"How can I talk to professionals in different fields to learn more about their careers?"
"Can you help me design a plan to test different career paths over the next few years?"
Personality and Values Prompts
"How can I align my career with my values, like work-life balance or making a positive impact?"
"What careers might suit my personality type? (I am [describe personality traits or interests, e.g., 'introverted,' 'problem-solver,' 'team-oriented'])"
"What should I look for in a career if I value [e.g., creativity, stability, adventure]?"
Long-Term Planning Prompts
"How can I think about both short-term goals and long-term fulfillment when choosing a career?"
"Can you help me build a roadmap for exploring careers and gaining experience over the next 5-10 years?"
"How can I choose a career path that gives me flexibility to change directions later if needed?"
Try both of these and I think you will find some avenues worth exploring. Wishing you all the best!
1) Make an appointment with a Career Counselor at the university/college/career tech you are attending. Ask to take a Career Interest & Aptitude Assessment. In that tool, you will answer many questions that will result in a response that will help you narrow down a career that will both interest and fulfill you. It may not give you the exact answer, but it will create a more narrow pathway for you to consider and explore. This method completely changed my life and has led me to a career I have loved for 32 years and counting. Just try it.
2) Begin a dialogue with ChatGPT or Claude.com to ask AI to help you answer some of these questions. Here are some prompts you might want to start with:
Self-Discovery Prompts
"I’m not sure what career path to choose. Ask me questions to help me figure it out."
"How do I identify my strengths, passions, and skills to guide my career decisions?"
"What questions should I ask myself to discover what I’m passionate about?"
"Can you help me explore what type of work environment and lifestyle might suit me best?"
Career Exploration Prompts
"What are some careers that match my interests in [insert broad topic, e.g., 'helping others,' 'technology,' 'creative work']?"
"Can you give me an overview of industries or jobs with good growth opportunities?"
"What are some unconventional or lesser-known career options I might not have considered?"
"How can I find a career that combines my multiple interests, like [e.g., art and science, writing and technology]?"
Skills and Education Prompts
"What types of degrees or certifications align with careers I might be interested in?"
"How can I identify what skills I enjoy using in both academic and non-academic settings?"
"Can you help me determine what kinds of entry-level roles would let me explore different industries?"
Practical Experience and Experimentation Prompts
"What steps can I take to explore careers through internships, volunteering, or job shadowing?"
"How can I talk to professionals in different fields to learn more about their careers?"
"Can you help me design a plan to test different career paths over the next few years?"
Personality and Values Prompts
"How can I align my career with my values, like work-life balance or making a positive impact?"
"What careers might suit my personality type? (I am [describe personality traits or interests, e.g., 'introverted,' 'problem-solver,' 'team-oriented'])"
"What should I look for in a career if I value [e.g., creativity, stability, adventure]?"
Long-Term Planning Prompts
"How can I think about both short-term goals and long-term fulfillment when choosing a career?"
"Can you help me build a roadmap for exploring careers and gaining experience over the next 5-10 years?"
"How can I choose a career path that gives me flexibility to change directions later if needed?"
Try both of these and I think you will find some avenues worth exploring. Wishing you all the best!
Rick Kneisley
Retired Investment Broker and Investment Sales Manager
10
Answers
Georgetown, Texas
Updated
Rick’s Answer
You've received a lot of wonderful advice. All of it very thoughtful, pragmatic and intelligent. I can't top any of it, but I can share with you my own personal jagged, failure-filled journey to success. It started out like most, which is I was lost as to what to do after college. Unfortunately, I took no class in how to find my calling, or how to be successful in life.
So, I stumbled around with jobs I instantly disliked and knew were wrong for me. Very painful. But one day, while I was cleaning out my desk after being let go from one of those jobs, the boss came up to me and said, "You're a good guy and you will be a success in life as soon as you find your brilliance." My look told him I didn't get what he was saying, so he continued. He stated that he believed, from experience, that everyone is brilliant at something, and that it was just a matter trying anything and everything until that work is hit upon. And that I would know when I had hit upon it when I realized that I loved the work I was doing.
So, I kept trying different jobs till one day I was offered a sales position with a major bank selling securities i.e., mutual funds, annuities, bonds and stock, to their customers. My degree was in economics and one of my earlier jobs required me to get all the securities licenses needed to do this new work. Well, that's when everything changed, and for the better.
Bank customers would come sit down at my desk inquiring about alternative investments to a bank low-yielding Certificate of Deposit. And, without thinking, I did the opposite of what they expected - I asked them about their life, where they were from, how did they meet their spouse. I loved that experience, and they could see that I did. After ten or fifteen minutes we were friends and they trusted me to do the right thing for them, which I did.
You see, no one buys from someone they don't trust. And my ingrained instinct to get to know them before I talked product is what made me the top producing Investment Representative out of the total of the bank's twenty-six other Investment Representatives.
So, I'm convinced from reading your written request for guidance, that you will be a fantastic success in life. You just need to find your brilliance so you can love what you're doing and then that work will love you back.
So, I stumbled around with jobs I instantly disliked and knew were wrong for me. Very painful. But one day, while I was cleaning out my desk after being let go from one of those jobs, the boss came up to me and said, "You're a good guy and you will be a success in life as soon as you find your brilliance." My look told him I didn't get what he was saying, so he continued. He stated that he believed, from experience, that everyone is brilliant at something, and that it was just a matter trying anything and everything until that work is hit upon. And that I would know when I had hit upon it when I realized that I loved the work I was doing.
So, I kept trying different jobs till one day I was offered a sales position with a major bank selling securities i.e., mutual funds, annuities, bonds and stock, to their customers. My degree was in economics and one of my earlier jobs required me to get all the securities licenses needed to do this new work. Well, that's when everything changed, and for the better.
Bank customers would come sit down at my desk inquiring about alternative investments to a bank low-yielding Certificate of Deposit. And, without thinking, I did the opposite of what they expected - I asked them about their life, where they were from, how did they meet their spouse. I loved that experience, and they could see that I did. After ten or fifteen minutes we were friends and they trusted me to do the right thing for them, which I did.
You see, no one buys from someone they don't trust. And my ingrained instinct to get to know them before I talked product is what made me the top producing Investment Representative out of the total of the bank's twenty-six other Investment Representatives.
So, I'm convinced from reading your written request for guidance, that you will be a fantastic success in life. You just need to find your brilliance so you can love what you're doing and then that work will love you back.
Thank you so much for your kind words, you know we are at the same boat with communication skill, also i really love meet new people and all of them tell me you are good listener and talkative which make the person comfortable, so i just want tell you how to find my brilliance, what is the key must consider to find it ?
Thanks for you kind reply again,
Regards
bvar