3 answers
Breanna
Student
Portsmouth, Virginia
4
Questions
Asked
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How did people with social anxiety get through college?
I have two months left of high school and I'm afraid of what life away from home will be like. I want to go to college but being on my own is different and might be challenging for me because of my social anxiety. I've spent my entire high school years to myself and I never really spoke to people unless it was a question or about classwork. I've made some acquaintances, but I've always lost touch with them over a few months. I'm terrified of talking to others and always avoid presentations or answering questions in class. How did other people like me get through college and was it worth it coming out of your shell?
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3 answers
Michelle M.
Actress
2400
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Breanna !
I had a sort of different experience, not with social anxiety, but purposely distancing myself from high school peers after 10th grade. Although I was composed, I was outgoing, friendly, initiated friendships but it was the peer pressure and having to like everything that teens liked in the mid to late 1970's was not my thing. I was too focused on my future and didn't want to get mixed up in anything that would ruin my plans. So I mostly worked as a 16 and 17 year old and was around all adults most of the time, which I preferred. I had peer friends in the city 80 miles north of where I lived and two from high school and one from working at my job.
I moved 3,000 miles away to attend college. While I was absorbing that it seemed like a foreign country to me even though it was the same country, I realized that no one knew me. Everyone was meeting me for the first time and it was a really good interesting feeling. Things were different now. I went from being distant to kids my age to being totally connected to my fellow college students and made several circles of friends. They were very compatible people for some reason. I loved my new life and was finally out of my one horse town where I can live in the present. I was now living the future I just thought about. Going to college away from where you went to high school, frankly, can be therapeutic ! Things really happened for me in a new place with brand new people.
You know, it's very common for people your age to feel distant or apprehensive among peers in high school. Things can be totally different in college, however. You'll be surprised. You may meet many other students in college that are shy and you just may be the one who brings them out of their shell. Instead of thinking that college will be the same, focus on your plans and the people you enjoy right now until you move for college. Most of all, try not to self-diagnose with a label. Everyone goes through different stages at different times, especially in the teenaged years.
You know what is best for you. Take things slow, but try not to overthink or think negative about your future. It's going to be a completely different life for you at college. It may be exciting for you to watch some videos of the college you'll be going to as that could really lift up your spirits and provide you with something to look forward to. See if the college has a channel on You Tube. Last year I saw a bunch of videos about my college and it made me very full of humble pride and brought back the best memories.
Right now, focus on how you will soon be able to begin studying for your path towards an animal science career as mentioned on your profile. You can see what is offered at your college for increased socialization, interaction as well as know that you will have a lot of supports while in college. You can visit their Career Center, the various offices that most campuses provide for students and you won't be alone.
This is just my point of view and hopefully you'll realize that you're really okay and sometimes change brings about positive growth. We all grew up tremendously through our college experience ! You will have a special, unique time in your new college. Always think positive - you can do this !
I had a sort of different experience, not with social anxiety, but purposely distancing myself from high school peers after 10th grade. Although I was composed, I was outgoing, friendly, initiated friendships but it was the peer pressure and having to like everything that teens liked in the mid to late 1970's was not my thing. I was too focused on my future and didn't want to get mixed up in anything that would ruin my plans. So I mostly worked as a 16 and 17 year old and was around all adults most of the time, which I preferred. I had peer friends in the city 80 miles north of where I lived and two from high school and one from working at my job.
I moved 3,000 miles away to attend college. While I was absorbing that it seemed like a foreign country to me even though it was the same country, I realized that no one knew me. Everyone was meeting me for the first time and it was a really good interesting feeling. Things were different now. I went from being distant to kids my age to being totally connected to my fellow college students and made several circles of friends. They were very compatible people for some reason. I loved my new life and was finally out of my one horse town where I can live in the present. I was now living the future I just thought about. Going to college away from where you went to high school, frankly, can be therapeutic ! Things really happened for me in a new place with brand new people.
You know, it's very common for people your age to feel distant or apprehensive among peers in high school. Things can be totally different in college, however. You'll be surprised. You may meet many other students in college that are shy and you just may be the one who brings them out of their shell. Instead of thinking that college will be the same, focus on your plans and the people you enjoy right now until you move for college. Most of all, try not to self-diagnose with a label. Everyone goes through different stages at different times, especially in the teenaged years.
You know what is best for you. Take things slow, but try not to overthink or think negative about your future. It's going to be a completely different life for you at college. It may be exciting for you to watch some videos of the college you'll be going to as that could really lift up your spirits and provide you with something to look forward to. See if the college has a channel on You Tube. Last year I saw a bunch of videos about my college and it made me very full of humble pride and brought back the best memories.
Right now, focus on how you will soon be able to begin studying for your path towards an animal science career as mentioned on your profile. You can see what is offered at your college for increased socialization, interaction as well as know that you will have a lot of supports while in college. You can visit their Career Center, the various offices that most campuses provide for students and you won't be alone.
This is just my point of view and hopefully you'll realize that you're really okay and sometimes change brings about positive growth. We all grew up tremendously through our college experience ! You will have a special, unique time in your new college. Always think positive - you can do this !
Jess A
6
Answers
Washington, Washington
Updated
Jess’s Answer
Hi Breanna,
I resonate a lot with your story. I was just like you throughout my teenagerhood. It's not an easy situation to be in.
How did I get through college? I think I'm somebody who definitely choose to stay closer to home because of that fear of the unknown, uncertainty of whether I'll make friends and really thrive in college away from home--rather than just survive. So I went to community college (which was fully virtual during the pandemic). I then transferred to my state's university. I stayed home with my parents all throughout college since I felt safe and content at home (and commuted to college of course). It's not easy, to this day I still get anxious at times and tend to be very introverted.
There have been a few times when life forced me to come out of my shell (traveling for internships/jobs for example). And what I have noticed is that people came into my life, people who helped me get through these vulnerable moments where staying in my safe/comfort zones was not an option. If you are spiritual, you can think of it as God will bring people to your life in your moments of most need, people who will help you get through. As Karin mentioned too, everyone in college is looking for friends and belonging. Also, in my experience, it's easier to make friends in college than high school--especially if it's a smaller school, or you join a program where you get to interact with the same smaller group of people.
I think it's also important that you receive the appropriate professional help for the anxiety if possible. This would be ideal. If going away for college doesn't work, I hope there are people in your corner like family or community who will welcome you back home and let you find an academic journey closer to home that works <3
Hope this helps!
Jess
I resonate a lot with your story. I was just like you throughout my teenagerhood. It's not an easy situation to be in.
How did I get through college? I think I'm somebody who definitely choose to stay closer to home because of that fear of the unknown, uncertainty of whether I'll make friends and really thrive in college away from home--rather than just survive. So I went to community college (which was fully virtual during the pandemic). I then transferred to my state's university. I stayed home with my parents all throughout college since I felt safe and content at home (and commuted to college of course). It's not easy, to this day I still get anxious at times and tend to be very introverted.
There have been a few times when life forced me to come out of my shell (traveling for internships/jobs for example). And what I have noticed is that people came into my life, people who helped me get through these vulnerable moments where staying in my safe/comfort zones was not an option. If you are spiritual, you can think of it as God will bring people to your life in your moments of most need, people who will help you get through. As Karin mentioned too, everyone in college is looking for friends and belonging. Also, in my experience, it's easier to make friends in college than high school--especially if it's a smaller school, or you join a program where you get to interact with the same smaller group of people.
I think it's also important that you receive the appropriate professional help for the anxiety if possible. This would be ideal. If going away for college doesn't work, I hope there are people in your corner like family or community who will welcome you back home and let you find an academic journey closer to home that works <3
Hope this helps!
Jess
This was super helpful, thank you!
Breanna
Karin P.
Lecturer, Academic Advisor, Career Coach
543
Answers
Göttingen, Lower Saxony, Germany
Updated
Karin’s Answer
Hi Breanna,
That's an interesting question, and it certainly depends on the severity of your social anxiety. I was very shy at your age and scared to give presentations but I was also eager to move out and I was ready academically. I found a good group of friends very quickly. The fact that everyone is new and needs to find friends helps with that.
It's a fairly normal process of growing up and finding your feet to be a bit scared. But part of your schooling will also be communication and presentation skills, and like anything else this can be learned (to an extent).
If on the other hand your social anxiety is so severe that it will hinder your education and your social life, you may need to "fix" that. Maybe you are just not yet ready to go to college. A year of working a job while you live at home might give you a bit of extra time to blossom. Maybe you need to think about medication or therapy.
Tidewater Community College and Franklin University are close enough that you could live at home. But don't use that as an excuse or opportunity to keep to yourself and talk to nobody. There are very few jobs where you can get away with that. You need to find "your people" and stand on your own feet. College has support services to help you with those issues. Use them. You can do it!
I hope this helps a bit! All the best to you! You got this!
KP
That's an interesting question, and it certainly depends on the severity of your social anxiety. I was very shy at your age and scared to give presentations but I was also eager to move out and I was ready academically. I found a good group of friends very quickly. The fact that everyone is new and needs to find friends helps with that.
It's a fairly normal process of growing up and finding your feet to be a bit scared. But part of your schooling will also be communication and presentation skills, and like anything else this can be learned (to an extent).
If on the other hand your social anxiety is so severe that it will hinder your education and your social life, you may need to "fix" that. Maybe you are just not yet ready to go to college. A year of working a job while you live at home might give you a bit of extra time to blossom. Maybe you need to think about medication or therapy.
Tidewater Community College and Franklin University are close enough that you could live at home. But don't use that as an excuse or opportunity to keep to yourself and talk to nobody. There are very few jobs where you can get away with that. You need to find "your people" and stand on your own feet. College has support services to help you with those issues. Use them. You can do it!
I hope this helps a bit! All the best to you! You got this!
KP