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why is life so complicated?
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5 answers
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Robert’s Answer
Davion,
Life is what you make of it, plan and simple. I came to realize that things in my past that I cant change but wish I could.
don't ever have regrets they may pull you down years from now.
take things as they come, take a deep breath and relax. things will work out they may not seem like they will but life has the
chance of doing so.
keep your nose clean, stay out of trouble, and you will be fine.
Rob
Life is what you make of it, plan and simple. I came to realize that things in my past that I cant change but wish I could.
don't ever have regrets they may pull you down years from now.
take things as they come, take a deep breath and relax. things will work out they may not seem like they will but life has the
chance of doing so.
keep your nose clean, stay out of trouble, and you will be fine.
Rob
Updated
Mickael’s Answer
Hi Devion,
Life is so complicated because if it would be easy you would not learn anything. And we (humans) tend to make it more complex than it need to. I have one advice for you: if you think life is complex (which I agree it tends to be), simplify it: solve one small problem at a time, ignore the others.
We do not build a skyscraper in one step. It's built floor by floor, wall by wall, piece by piece.
So should you see your problems.
Another part, problems seem less scary when you are not alone.
Life is so complicated because if it would be easy you would not learn anything. And we (humans) tend to make it more complex than it need to. I have one advice for you: if you think life is complex (which I agree it tends to be), simplify it: solve one small problem at a time, ignore the others.
We do not build a skyscraper in one step. It's built floor by floor, wall by wall, piece by piece.
So should you see your problems.
Another part, problems seem less scary when you are not alone.
Updated
Kim’s Answer
Davion,
At the ripe old age of 59, I finally came to understand that I cannot control other people's actions, only my own. This led me to the tough decision to minimize my time spent visiting with my parents, because my Mom is a very negative person and that toxic environment was adversely affecting me. Unfortunately, it also means that I see my Dad less often.
Actions have consequences. I've talked with a few young people whose parents are trying to control what they choose for their career! If they go against their parents' wishes, it could mean they would lose their financial support, or, even worse. If they go with their parents wishes, it could mean they'd be totally miserable for the foreseeable future!
The complicated part is making the decision. As long as you are on the fence, still trying to decide, it's complicated. But, once you decide, you start moving forward! When I make a decision, I like to write it all out. It starts by defining the problem. In my example above, the problem was that my Mom's behavior was very upsetting to me. What could I do about it? I tried counselling. I tried modeling appropriate behavior when I was around her. I tried suggesting that she should get counseling. I tried to find a way to not let her behavior bother me. I was out of options.
If you diagram it, list ALL your possible options, regardless of how absurd they might sound. For example:
The problem: My parents want me to be an attorney, but I want to be an accountant.
I. Be an attorney
a. I would be unhappy
b. I could specialize in an area that deals with accounting and financial records
II. Be an accountant
a. Parents won't pay for my schooling, or let me live at home
1. I could get grants and loans
2. I could work part time and go to school full time
3. I could work fulltime and go to school part time
3. I could go live with relatives
4. I could move in with friends
b. It would put a strain on my relationship with my parents
1. I could take advantage of counseling programs at school
2. I would continue to interact with relatives for family support
3. Once they see that I am happy, and doing well, they may soften
As you go through life Davion, the decision-making sometimes gets more complex, BUT you will have acquired the skills to be able to handle the situation. EACH time you go through this process, you learn more about how to make decisions. It WILL get easier!! If you'd like to share what situation you are currently dealing with, we will do our best to help you think about it from different angles. It appears it has to do with college and careers, but, would you please explain in greater detail?
At the ripe old age of 59, I finally came to understand that I cannot control other people's actions, only my own. This led me to the tough decision to minimize my time spent visiting with my parents, because my Mom is a very negative person and that toxic environment was adversely affecting me. Unfortunately, it also means that I see my Dad less often.
Actions have consequences. I've talked with a few young people whose parents are trying to control what they choose for their career! If they go against their parents' wishes, it could mean they would lose their financial support, or, even worse. If they go with their parents wishes, it could mean they'd be totally miserable for the foreseeable future!
The complicated part is making the decision. As long as you are on the fence, still trying to decide, it's complicated. But, once you decide, you start moving forward! When I make a decision, I like to write it all out. It starts by defining the problem. In my example above, the problem was that my Mom's behavior was very upsetting to me. What could I do about it? I tried counselling. I tried modeling appropriate behavior when I was around her. I tried suggesting that she should get counseling. I tried to find a way to not let her behavior bother me. I was out of options.
If you diagram it, list ALL your possible options, regardless of how absurd they might sound. For example:
The problem: My parents want me to be an attorney, but I want to be an accountant.
I. Be an attorney
a. I would be unhappy
b. I could specialize in an area that deals with accounting and financial records
II. Be an accountant
a. Parents won't pay for my schooling, or let me live at home
1. I could get grants and loans
2. I could work part time and go to school full time
3. I could work fulltime and go to school part time
3. I could go live with relatives
4. I could move in with friends
b. It would put a strain on my relationship with my parents
1. I could take advantage of counseling programs at school
2. I would continue to interact with relatives for family support
3. Once they see that I am happy, and doing well, they may soften
As you go through life Davion, the decision-making sometimes gets more complex, BUT you will have acquired the skills to be able to handle the situation. EACH time you go through this process, you learn more about how to make decisions. It WILL get easier!! If you'd like to share what situation you are currently dealing with, we will do our best to help you think about it from different angles. It appears it has to do with college and careers, but, would you please explain in greater detail?
Updated
Bob’s Answer
Life is complicated due to our making it so. Frequently, we are not able to accurately define the problem. But, once we do, we all need to understand what we believe in.
First, in priority order, I personally believe that I need to continuously add value to my family, my community and to my country. i also believe that I should, if possible, add value to someone each and every day.
So, I ask myself, why am I to personally do this? Does what I am considering meet these beliefs? If yes, I do it. This may simply be to thank someone for doing something that should be recognized as a 'good deed' . Or, to offer help where I see it is needed. Or, to make a significant change in my actions.
In business, I ask myself in priority order does this action, policy, strategy, assistance add value to the customer, to the company, to my assignment? (As a CEO, I also must consider the impact upon our employees and share
holders). If the actions do not fit with my beliefs - I will not move ahead. I will then try to find a way to validate what I would have to offer/accomplish to meet these business beliefs.
I find that the world is much less complex when we know what it is we believe and what criteria we establish in making decisions.
You may want to try these beliefs to see if they work for you. If not, focus on those beliefs you are comfortable with. It makes life much simpler.
Give some thoughts as to what you personally believe. Write it down, try it.
First, in priority order, I personally believe that I need to continuously add value to my family, my community and to my country. i also believe that I should, if possible, add value to someone each and every day.
So, I ask myself, why am I to personally do this? Does what I am considering meet these beliefs? If yes, I do it. This may simply be to thank someone for doing something that should be recognized as a 'good deed' . Or, to offer help where I see it is needed. Or, to make a significant change in my actions.
In business, I ask myself in priority order does this action, policy, strategy, assistance add value to the customer, to the company, to my assignment? (As a CEO, I also must consider the impact upon our employees and share
holders). If the actions do not fit with my beliefs - I will not move ahead. I will then try to find a way to validate what I would have to offer/accomplish to meet these business beliefs.
I find that the world is much less complex when we know what it is we believe and what criteria we establish in making decisions.
You may want to try these beliefs to see if they work for you. If not, focus on those beliefs you are comfortable with. It makes life much simpler.
Bob recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Amina’s Answer
Life is a series of events sometimes we get to experience the phase we term 'complicated' in life there are times you feel at the top of your game ,other times low,but one basic fact remains,time and things changes,so does our feelings,the other side of life could get better or worse,we could be winning or loosing in this thing called life,but thats why we are humans,we have the ability to choose either to be pessimistic or optimistic. therefore never give up. we strive,work plan,set goals and targets,play,vacation,seek knowledge, love,eat,breath,and so many other human activities. Just enjoy life basically and never give up,life is not that complicated, sometimes its our views about life that defines us.life is full of opportunities,just be optimistic and maybe life won't seem too complex. Its equally important to note after darkness comes light,after rain storm comes sunshine,war and peace,harshship then relief,etc.In essence lets live life to the fullest and make the best use of it,because you only live once.