11 answers
Jesus
Student
1
Question
Asked
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What do I need to do to keep track of eye contact?
I would focus and be in a quiet place while being with someone I know, my family members, or a friend of mine. Even when I apply a job (part-time or full-time) I need to keep track of eye contact to have an important conversation with the manager at an interview or I won’t get promoted.
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11 answers
David Fryrear
Head of Quality Assurance
39
Answers
Libertyville, Illinois
Updated
David’s Answer
Hi there, Jesus! Your question is fantastic and clearly shows your grasp of the significance of body language. It's a topic I've grappled with too. You've got some top-notch advice in the responses here. I'd just like to chip in and say that it's crucial not to overdo the eye contact. Try not to fixate or seem like you're staring. The fact that you're aware of this shows that you're attentive and well on your way to refining your approach.
Shifting your gaze is completely normal. It's common for people to look elsewhere while they're deep in thought or to nod their head in agreement when someone else is talking.
YouTube is a treasure trove of useful videos, including ones on maintaining the right amount of eye contact or using body language effectively in an interview.
Watch an instructional video on interview eye contact or body language
Practice with a relative, friend or mentor
Shifting your gaze is completely normal. It's common for people to look elsewhere while they're deep in thought or to nod their head in agreement when someone else is talking.
YouTube is a treasure trove of useful videos, including ones on maintaining the right amount of eye contact or using body language effectively in an interview.
David recommends the following next steps:
Danusa López Rodrigues
Recruiter
13
Answers
Santiago, Santiago Metropolitan Region, Chile
Updated
Danusa’s Answer
Let's try practicing eye contact with the people we're close to. I understand that for some, making direct eye contact can be a bit daunting initially. But trust me, it's the perfect way to start building this habit.
Kudos to you for giving it a shot! Remember, practice makes perfect!
Kudos to you for giving it a shot! Remember, practice makes perfect!
Houcine Lakhchach
Career Development Specialist | U.S Department exchange Alumnus | EFL/ESL trainer | Program manager
139
Answers
Kenitra, Gharb-Chrarda-Beni Hssen, Morocco
Updated
Houcine’s Answer
Maintaining good eye contact is crucial for effective communication and can positively impact various aspects of your personal and professional life. Here are some tips to help you keep track of eye contact:
1. **Practice Active Listening:**
When engaged in a conversation, make a conscious effort to actively listen to the other person. Focus on their words and respond appropriately. Active listening naturally encourages eye contact.
2. **Use the 50/70 Rule:**
Aim to make eye contact about 50-70% of the time during a conversation. This balance helps convey attentiveness without making the other person feel uncomfortable.
3. **Look Away Naturally:**
It's normal to glance away occasionally, especially during moments of reflection or when gathering your thoughts. Just be sure not to let your gaze wander for too long.
4. **Focus on the Forehead or Nose:**
If maintaining direct eye contact feels challenging, focus on the area between the person's eyes, such as their forehead or nose. This can create the impression of eye contact without making you feel overly self-conscious.
5. **Be Mindful of Cultural Differences:**
Cultural norms can influence the expectations regarding eye contact. Be aware of cultural differences and adjust your approach accordingly, especially in diverse or international settings.
6. **Practice with a Friend:**
Enlist the help of a friend or family member to practice maintaining eye contact during conversations. Constructive feedback from someone you trust can be valuable in improving your eye contact skills.
7. **Use Mirroring:**
Observe the other person's eye contact habits and try to mirror their behavior. This can create a sense of connection and rapport.
8. **Limit Distractions:**
Minimize distractions in your environment during important conversations. This not only helps you focus on maintaining eye contact but also demonstrates your commitment to the interaction.
9. **Be Aware of Non-Verbal Cues:**
Pay attention to the non-verbal cues of the other person. If they are making strong eye contact, reciprocate appropriately. Similarly, if they seem uncomfortable, adjust your gaze accordingly.
10. **Relax Your Facial Muscles:**
Consciously relax your facial muscles, especially around the eyes. Tension can make maintaining eye contact feel more challenging.
11. **Visualize Success:**
Before important conversations, visualize yourself making confident and appropriate eye contact. Positive visualization can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
Remember that maintaining eye contact is just one aspect of effective communication. Pair it with active listening, clear articulation, and thoughtful responses to create a well-rounded communication style. With practice, you can develop this skill and make a positive impression in various social and professional situations.
1. **Practice Active Listening:**
When engaged in a conversation, make a conscious effort to actively listen to the other person. Focus on their words and respond appropriately. Active listening naturally encourages eye contact.
2. **Use the 50/70 Rule:**
Aim to make eye contact about 50-70% of the time during a conversation. This balance helps convey attentiveness without making the other person feel uncomfortable.
3. **Look Away Naturally:**
It's normal to glance away occasionally, especially during moments of reflection or when gathering your thoughts. Just be sure not to let your gaze wander for too long.
4. **Focus on the Forehead or Nose:**
If maintaining direct eye contact feels challenging, focus on the area between the person's eyes, such as their forehead or nose. This can create the impression of eye contact without making you feel overly self-conscious.
5. **Be Mindful of Cultural Differences:**
Cultural norms can influence the expectations regarding eye contact. Be aware of cultural differences and adjust your approach accordingly, especially in diverse or international settings.
6. **Practice with a Friend:**
Enlist the help of a friend or family member to practice maintaining eye contact during conversations. Constructive feedback from someone you trust can be valuable in improving your eye contact skills.
7. **Use Mirroring:**
Observe the other person's eye contact habits and try to mirror their behavior. This can create a sense of connection and rapport.
8. **Limit Distractions:**
Minimize distractions in your environment during important conversations. This not only helps you focus on maintaining eye contact but also demonstrates your commitment to the interaction.
9. **Be Aware of Non-Verbal Cues:**
Pay attention to the non-verbal cues of the other person. If they are making strong eye contact, reciprocate appropriately. Similarly, if they seem uncomfortable, adjust your gaze accordingly.
10. **Relax Your Facial Muscles:**
Consciously relax your facial muscles, especially around the eyes. Tension can make maintaining eye contact feel more challenging.
11. **Visualize Success:**
Before important conversations, visualize yourself making confident and appropriate eye contact. Positive visualization can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
Remember that maintaining eye contact is just one aspect of effective communication. Pair it with active listening, clear articulation, and thoughtful responses to create a well-rounded communication style. With practice, you can develop this skill and make a positive impression in various social and professional situations.
Jacqueline Wang (袁瑩穎)
Professional Life Coach | Career Coach | Artist
19
Answers
Singapore
Updated
Jacqueline’s Answer
hi Jesus,
good to hear that you are mindful of maintaining eye contact so that you can engage better with others. Is there a reason that you think you might not be enough now? Think deeply about what could be stopping you.
In communications, 70% comes from body language, environment (including trust) , and only 30% comes from words . Just using eye contact will not be sufficient and if there is overuse of it, it can be uncomfortable for both parties.
suggestions
- consider overall body language, when interacting with others - do you come across as authentic, interested
- ask questions - use interactions as an opportunity to learn from others. Be curious in others' point of view , that will help take away pressure to just maintain eye contact.
- when doing eye contact - you can also look at the middle of the nose bridge at times, that will make it less intimidating.
- dress smart for interviews - create a good impression, and show that the interview matters to you.
- look up on interview questions on internet - there are tonnes out there. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will come across
- offer to help the rest of colleagues or take on new assignments, you are more likely to be promoted if you are a team player or have performed over and beyond.
hope this helps and all the best in your career journey
Jacq
good to hear that you are mindful of maintaining eye contact so that you can engage better with others. Is there a reason that you think you might not be enough now? Think deeply about what could be stopping you.
In communications, 70% comes from body language, environment (including trust) , and only 30% comes from words . Just using eye contact will not be sufficient and if there is overuse of it, it can be uncomfortable for both parties.
suggestions
- consider overall body language, when interacting with others - do you come across as authentic, interested
- ask questions - use interactions as an opportunity to learn from others. Be curious in others' point of view , that will help take away pressure to just maintain eye contact.
- when doing eye contact - you can also look at the middle of the nose bridge at times, that will make it less intimidating.
- dress smart for interviews - create a good impression, and show that the interview matters to you.
- look up on interview questions on internet - there are tonnes out there. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will come across
- offer to help the rest of colleagues or take on new assignments, you are more likely to be promoted if you are a team player or have performed over and beyond.
hope this helps and all the best in your career journey
Jacq
Samuel Vojtech
Medical Assistant
19
Answers
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Updated
Samuel’s Answer
Practice, Practice, Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror. It is a great step to practice with family members; you know they love you. But practice with strangers. I have a problem with eye contact but just knowing this is a challenge is the first step. You will learn & the benefits are extremely rewarding!
Ken Barrette
Product Marketing
3
Answers
Tustin, California
Updated
Ken’s Answer
Recognizing the importance of this is a fantastic initial move. It might seem straightforward, but it can sometimes be challenging. When you find it tough, there are handy strategies you can use, like focusing on the other person's nose instead of their eyes. This little trick can give the impression that you're maintaining eye contact, and it's often less daunting than looking directly into someone's eyes. I would also recommend that the most powerful time to make eye contact is when you're first introduced to someone - whether it's during a handshake or any other form of introduction. This simple act can significantly contribute to creating a positive first impression.
Jerome Dees Jr.
Sales Professional and Networking Expert
600
Answers
San Francisco, California
Updated
Jerome’s Answer
I think the fact that you are aware can go a long way. Looking people in the eyes when they are talking and showing them that you’re paying attention goes along way. I also think repeating what they are saying to you or asking question can be a good way to show you are listening and attentive.
I have talked with people that looked at me with such intensity that it made me uncomfortable, sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing.
I have talked with people that looked at me with such intensity that it made me uncomfortable, sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing.
Juney Dijkstra
Business Development / Production / Project Management
39
Answers
Hilversum, North Holland, Netherlands
Updated
Juney’s Answer
As others have pointed out, being aware of your body language & communication and being willing to try to improve is a big first step! Not everyone realises, let alone acknowledges, that a conversation isn't entirely about the words spoken.
To add to the above: Practice with people you feel safe & comfortable with :)
It's totally okay to acknowledge you're trying to improve something, and ask someone you trust to practice with you. Is there someone in your family, or friend circle you feel comfortable with? Or if that's too personal, maybe a friendly clerk at the grocery shop, or the elderly that frequents the park bench nearby? You could even try with a friend you've met online through a game or social media in a video call! There's a chance they might have a challenge of their own they'd like to practice with you ♡
Think about who you could ask to practice with. A friend? Family member? Stranger?
Think about how you might ask someone to practice with you. How could you phrase the question?
Give practicing a shot!
To add to the above: Practice with people you feel safe & comfortable with :)
It's totally okay to acknowledge you're trying to improve something, and ask someone you trust to practice with you. Is there someone in your family, or friend circle you feel comfortable with? Or if that's too personal, maybe a friendly clerk at the grocery shop, or the elderly that frequents the park bench nearby? You could even try with a friend you've met online through a game or social media in a video call! There's a chance they might have a challenge of their own they'd like to practice with you ♡
Juney recommends the following next steps:
Cortnie Thomas
Recruiting Coordinator
2
Answers
Puyallup, Washington
Updated
Cortnie’s Answer
Absolutely, that's an excellent question! The key is to concentrate on your body language and hone your active listening skills. Always ensure that you are fully involved in the conversation. Here are a few helpful tips to boost your communication skills:
- Rehearse with your friends or family members. It's a comfortable and supportive environment to start with.
- Try recording your speech. I've used this method for interview preparation and it's quite effective.
- Cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness. It's essential to understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
- Strive to maintain eye contact about half of the time while you're speaking, and around 70% of the time when you're listening. This can significantly enhance your connection with the speaker.
- Rehearse with your friends or family members. It's a comfortable and supportive environment to start with.
- Try recording your speech. I've used this method for interview preparation and it's quite effective.
- Cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness. It's essential to understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
- Strive to maintain eye contact about half of the time while you're speaking, and around 70% of the time when you're listening. This can significantly enhance your connection with the speaker.
Elizabeth Anne Webb
Attractions Cast Member/ Safari Guide
4
Answers
Davenport, Florida
Updated
Elizabeth Anne’s Answer
This can be quite a challenge, but acknowledging that you need to improve is already a fantastic start! I can relate to this as well - finding the right balance in maintaining eye contact can be tricky. Overthinking it can sometimes make you feel more anxious. Here are some tips that I've found useful when it comes to eye contact. If you're in a position to make eye contact (like sitting face to face, not when you're busy doing something else), and the person speaking to you is looking at you, then it's good to return the gaze. If you're the one talking and they're looking at you, reciprocate the eye contact and respond with a smile or other suitable facial expressions. It's perfectly okay to look away occasionally to avoid making the situation uncomfortable. If maintaining eye contact feels tough, try shifting your focus to the speaker's mouth for a bit, then back to their eyes, then their forehead, and so on. This technique works for me.
I hope these tips will be beneficial for you! Always remember, you're doing wonderfully and have a promising future ahead!
I hope these tips will be beneficial for you! Always remember, you're doing wonderfully and have a promising future ahead!
Taylor Mahoney
Procurement
4
Answers
Chicago, Illinois
Updated
Taylor’s Answer
Being aware of this is a great start! I make it a point to check back in with the person I am talking to every ten seconds or so and it seems to keep a good connection in the conversation. Continue to practice and be aware - Don't be too hard on yourself to not reach a certain goal by a certain age or milestone, it will be something everyone works on throughout their career!